Chapter Four

Discussion in 'Journals and blogs' started by Hubby&Missy, Dec 4, 2021.

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  1. Hubby&Missy
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    Hubby&Missy Love keeps us together

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    She still looks like Missy and smells like Missy and sounds like Missy and feels like Missy. The similarity ends there. She is suddenly free to show her love to me and I have never seen her so happy as this last week. She knows the sex is all about love but the love has nothing to do with the sex. 180 degrees from the "old" days. That seems to give her so many options. She can show me her love and not worrying about whether I get to have sex. The sex happens when she feels like it.
     
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  2. Bronco
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    Bronco Long term member

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    That is so great ! The sky is the limit far you all now !
     
  3. Hubby&Missy
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    Hubby&Missy Love keeps us together

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    When she got home from work last night I kissed and hugged her as usual and she went up to change before supper. She came down in her normal sweats and “T” shirt but I could tell she had taken her bra off. All through supper she just had this “s*** eating grin” going and we talked about our days and stuff like that. After supper we watched a little TV and every once in a while she would jiggle a little to remind me she had no bra on but not enough to really tease me. We went up to bed and I caressed her and did all the things I am supposed to and sure enough, she melted in my arms. After a minute she said she was ready to go to sleep and rolled onto my shoulder. I said, “that’s it?” She smiled and said, “it’s not the weekend yet. What were you expecting?” I said that based on what she said last night I thought she was going to tease me unmercifully. She got this evil smile and said, “I know you have your cage on and we aren’t having sex tonight. I wouldn’t do that to you. Do you think I’m some kind of sadist?” Then she laughed a very evil laugh and said, “you better get some sleep honey. Tomorrow is Saturday and you are going to need all your energy.” When it comes to mind games I am definitely over matched.

    When we woke up she was very playful. She tapped on my cage and pinched my nipples. Then she got out of bed and grabbed the key off the dresser and said, “if you can catch me you can have the key.” She ran down the stairs and played ring around the dining table with me for a couple of minutes. Then she ran for the sofa and grabbed one of the throw pillows and started swatting me so I grabbed the other one and we had a little pillow fight. When I finally got close enough I grabbed her arm and pulled her to me and gave her a huge kiss. We fell down on the couch. She kissed me so passionately and we caressed each other for a few minutes. Then she pulled my nightgown up and unlocked my cage. We made the most magnificent love on the sofa. After we calmed down I said, “I don’t know who you are but I sure do love you.” She said, “Didn’t I promise you I was going to change every day. You better figure out how to keep up.” Then she told me she loved me and after a short pause she said, “and I promised to make it all up to you…to us and I hope I’m doing that.” Then she started to get very teary and that made me get teary and I just held her for several minutes.

    So far it has been one hell of a carnival ride. I hope we never get tired of it. I may lose my mind but I don’t want it to ever end.
     
  4. homebody
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    homebody In awe of GoddesofHomebody

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    My wife and I have been following your story since both of you started posting. It was obvious from the writing that you shared a deep love and that you both wanted to get to the point where you could show that love physically. It is amazing to see how quickly it turned around, but I don't think it could have happened if you both hadn't done the hard work recently.

    If this was a movie this would be were the music got dramatic and happy and the words 'they lived happily ever after' would scroll across the screen. The way it turned out for both of you has made me very happy and reminds me that love can conquer all. Good luck.
     
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  5. Hubby&Missy
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    Hubby&Missy Love keeps us together

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    @homebody That Monday night after Thanksgiving was a 180 degree turn for Missy. But I really believe we would not have had that moment if it hadn't been for our time here. I learned so much about the difference between love and sex from many of you here and Missy learned to believe in herself. We were ready for that Monday night when it happened.
    I hope this isn't the end of the story but just the beginning. We are still both finding our way along this new path. The path is much different than I pictured it. In part because of what I learned this last year . My priorities are clearer and more centered around showing Missy how much I love her and as I said earlier, she returns that love 2 fold.
     
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  6. Hubby&Missy
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    Hubby&Missy Love keeps us together

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    @homebody By the way we haven't seen much about your journey lately unless I just missed your updates.
     
  7. Isopropylforyou
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    Isopropylforyou Long term member

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    I am so happy for the two of you.

    You guys did it!!!!

    Iso.
     
  8. Bronco
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    Bronco Long term member

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    Just love your journey so far and can’t wait far more .
     
  9. madams-sissysub
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    Thanks for sharing,
     
  10. Hubby&Missy
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    Hubby&Missy Love keeps us together

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    This is Missy and I have been thinking again and that is rarely a good thing. In spite of it only being a couple weeks since my Thanksgiving miracle, I feel like I am an expert on all things Love. I believe there is an expression that goes “an expert is anybody who is more than a hundred miles from where anyone knows him.” Since no one actually knows me here that qualifies me as an expert. LOL Here are my thoughts I have been having today. They probably only apply to me and Hubby but what the heck. Here they are anyway. LOL

    Making love is “R” or “X” rated intimate contact based on an emotional connection. It is bonding with your partner in an intimate way.

    Sex is anything resulting in an orgasm including sex with yourself.

    Making love may or may not include sex.

    Sex may or may not involve making love.

    Making love is wonderful and results in a feeling that can truly make your day.

    Sex is a wonderful physical high.

    When making love merges with sex and the sex is an expression of your love for each other, the feeling is unmatched by anything else the world has to offer.

    Now for us, ironically, I think scheduled sex is perfect. It used to be the scheduled sex was about duty and was bad. Now it is about anticipation and it adds an element of intensity to our love making. We start out a little playful and it turns romantic. As the connection builds so does the anticipation for both of us. The love making becomes intense and the closeness is almost overwhelming. We both want to climax but we both want to put it off as long as we can to let the anticipation keep building. Eventually, it happens and then we just hold each other in total silence and love for a few minutes.

    Also ironically, I think (and Hubby agrees) the merger of sex and love making should only happen once in a while. If it happened too often it would no longer be special. It would diminish the non-sexual love making we do almost every night. The anticipation that drives the intensity would disappear. Do couples not in chastity relationships understand this dynamic. That merging love making with sex is so special it should not be the routine? I am living the dream and I barely understand it.

    Just the thoughts of an overnight expert.
     
  11. maid julie
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    maid julie Long term member

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    I think that you have it right with your thoughts and there are a lot of us that would love to get to the point that you two have teached
     
  12. Isopropylforyou
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    Isopropylforyou Long term member

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    I think Hubby & Missy's account has been hacked!

    There is no way this is Missy talking!!

    Who is this??

    In all seriousness though, you are correct in your words.

    Iso.
     
  13. Bronco
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    Bronco Long term member

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    Well Missy I believe you qualify as an expert . Well said and I from what I read you are living the dream.
     
  14. Hubby&Missy
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    Hubby&Missy Love keeps us together

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    She has grown so fast. She knows that the bedroom is about love and she gets to decide how that love happens. By the way fellows and Missy, I am living the dream too. I would not trade places with any man in the world.
     
  15. Hubby&Missy
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    Hubby&Missy Love keeps us together

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    This is Missy. I just had the best Christmas of my entire life. I told Hubby I wanted to tell all my imaginary friends about this weekend because in a way they are the ones that made this happen for me. This morning I asked Hubby not to post anything until after I had a chance to write about our Christmas weekend. He just smiled the biggest smile I have ever seen and didn’t say a word. So here is our Christmas.

    No work gets done on Christmas eve at the office so Friday was more of a party than work. Since Christmas was on a weekend my company gave us Monday as the holiday. It was like a four day weekend. I think they did this for the two holidays so that New Year’s holiday would be taken in 2022 rather than this year. Works for me. LOL

    We went to midnight Christmas service Friday. We are one of the few churches that still does a vigil service at midnight. It is a beautiful service. The choir does a fantastic job. We came home and went straight to bed and I asked Hubby to just hold me.

    Neither one of us caved in and broke the rule. All we got for Christmas were our stockings with an apple, nuts, some kisses, and some stuff like tooth paste in them. He got me a leather brief case so I would look like the executive I was going to be in a few months and I got him a new pair of steel toed work shoes because his were getting pretty ratty. No big gifts.

    Sunday morning we made very gentle love before going to church. Neither of us had an orgasm but lying there quietly with him inside me feels so nice. They had a get together after in the community room and we had a nice time. Still had to wear masks even though we all had all our shots. Hubby took me out to a real nice restaurant for supper. That night he gave me my fuzzy and I was going to have sex with him but I just felt so content that I ended up just falling asleep in his arms.

    Yesterday we tried skiing at a local hill for the first time. It was half snowing and half sleeting part of the day. We rented equipment and got lessons and if you could have seen us you would be pretty sure that this was not our sport. Although, by the end of the day we could both make it down the beginners slope without falling down. I let him leave his cage off till Tuesday morning and told him he better make love Monday night. I reminded him that New Year’s eve was not happening for the obvious reason and it was going to be two weeks before he got to play again. So, I had promised him sex last night but we just made love instead. I hope Hubby doesn’t regret that.

    Saved the best for last. Christmas day was fun from the time I woke up. I got out of bed and told him to stay where he was. I got a big scarf out of my closet and proceeded to tie it around his cage including around the nightgown and made a big bow. Hubby asked what that is all about. I said, “remember this is my big present and I’m just trying to make it look as big as I can.” Then I said, “but they say the best presents come in small packages so this one must be really good.” And I laughed. Hubby grabbed a pillow and threw it at me and we fooled around for a little bit. Then he asked, “are you going to give me the key?” As sternly as I could muster I said, “absolutely not.” Hubby looked surprised. After a few seconds I laughed and said, “this is my present and I get to open it.” I love playing with his mind. Then I reminded him I like to unwrap my presents very slowly. By now the bow had come off and so I took the scarf and made it into a blindfold for him and said it wouldn’t be right for him to see me naked and reminded him I had the key so he better not peek. I took my satin nightie off and ran it all over his body for several minutes under his nightgown, especially on his sack and chest and abdomen. I directed his hands to my breasts and my vagina and kissed him. I was being silent so the only sensation he had was feel. He was going nuts. Then I helped him get his nightgown off making sure we didn’t lose the blindfold and I still said nothing, just directed him with my hands. Then I started to play with his cage. I twisted it around with my hands and massaged his scrotum for at least two or three minutes. I even ran my finger along his butt crack. I would guide his hand to make sure he was feeling my body also. One thing I learned reading a couple of things here was how powerful sensory deprivation could be and how it has an amazing effect on a man. Eventually I unlocked his cage. Very slowly I removed it, again taking a couple minutes to remove the pieces, and his penis sprang to life. I placed the cage pieces on the night stand and grabbed one of the satin gowns and slowly dragged it across his groin and crotch and penis.

    I was sure he was losing it at this point so I climbed back on the bed and laid down and directed his head to my vagina making sure we didn’t lose the blindfold. He knew what to do. I was nearly as hot as he was and I had an orgasm in a couple of minutes. He got to hear lots of noise for a moment. I pulled him up so he could make love to me and kept the blindfold on. He managed to find my vagina with his penis pretty quickly and he only lasted a couple of minutes or so before his whole body convulsed. I was able to keep moving under him and had another orgasm. We just laid there for some time with him inside me. He tried to speak but I shushed him with my finger on his lips and then kissed him so passionately. After a few minutes I carefully rolled him off and still would not let him take off the blindfold and I didn’t say a word. I slipped my nightgown back on and then I took off the scarf so he could finally see. I asked him, “what was that like?” He said, “I can’t describe the feeling. It was a little scary and very arousing and absolutely amazing.” He had probably spent maybe half an hour blindfolded with almost no sound. He said it felt like forever. He really felt like he had no control and no idea what was happening. Then he said, “Intense. That is the only word to describe it.”

    We showered together and got dressed. We went downstairs to the tree and opened our stockings and the couple of presents. I started to tear up and I said, “This is my best Christmas ever.” He started to say something back but I shushed him with my finger and said, “you’re still not allowed to speak.” And I gave him a huge kiss and almost melted in his arms there on the sofa. I told him to just hold me for a while. I finally got my composure back and we had some brunch because it was too late for breakfast. The rest of the day was ordinary but I don’t think either of us ever came down from that high.

    Christmas night he just held me and caressed me in that very sensual way and told me he loved me and then I melted in his arms. The perfect ending to a perfect day. After a couple of minutes he rolled on his back and laid my head on his shoulder and I slept like a baby.
     
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  16. Bronco
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    Bronco Long term member

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    That sounds like a very marry and exciting Christmas far you two
     
  17. Hubby&Missy
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    Hubby&Missy Love keeps us together

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    Christmas morning was amazing and intense. She told me she had planned putting the bow on my cage for a few days and was going to tease me by very slowly opening “her present” before we made love. But when the bow came off while we were fooling around the idea of the blindfold came to her and she just ran with it. It was the best Christmas ever and better than any present she could have bought me. The memory of that morning will be with me for a long time.

    Monday night was all about love and Missy hardly mentioned it. We came home from our ski adventure and we were both cold and sore. I made us some hot chocolate (with real milk and whipped cream) and we ordered a pizza and we snuggled up on the couch and just talked for the evening. At one point I got us a little wine and some cheese and crackers but we still just snuggled.

    About 9:00 O’clock Missy was ready for bed. I still had my cage off. We got undressed and Missy said to leave our night gowns off and we got into bed naked. She asked me to just hold her and caress her for a bit. We cuddled and kissed for what must have been 15 or 20 minutes with our naked bodies just pressed against each other. Then she said, “Take me to my fuzzy place.” I caressed and kissed practically every inch of her body and she was so aroused that when I pulled her against me she instantly had a wonderful fuzzy, much stronger than usual, almost a full orgasm. She laid quietly in my arms face to face for several minutes. Then she threw her leg over me and inserted my penis in her and she said, “Make love to me very gently. I just want to feel how much you love me.” We actually didn’t move our bodies that much. We just ran our hands over each other and made very quiet, intimate love. We never did orgasm. She eventually pulled her leg off of me and pushed me on my back. She put her head on my shoulder and said, “That was so special. I love you so much.” She was asleep before I got the covers up.

    The carnival ride is fantastic but nights like Monday night are truly special. How could I possibly feel more loved. There is nothing to regret, Missy.
     
  18. Hubby&Missy
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    Hubby&Missy Love keeps us together

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    New Year’s Eve was crazy. I was on my period so we didn’t have actual, normal sex. I’ll get to that shortly. One of the couples we ride with from the club has a cabin in the mountains a little over an hour away. He invited six couples for the weekend and everyone was to bring their machines because there are some trails you can ride up there. We also brought very warm clothes. LOL Also champagne and several bottles of wine along with our food and snack donation. Two of the couples brought sleeping bags and slept in the living room and the rest of us had bedrooms. Ours had bunk beds. Kind of cool.

    Ellen and Mike were there. I had talked to her once since the last time we rode with them but not since our break through. I wore my key outside my blouse and was just going to go with what I had told these folks about it being the key to Hubby’s heart. When Ellen saw the key she smiled and gave me a “high sign.” After we were all settled Ellen asked if Hubby and I would like to go for a walk with her and Mike. When we got outside Ellen said, “You have a bounce in your step. Would you like to share?” Hubby and I told them pretty much everything. When we mentioned that sex wasn’t so important to Hubby any more, Mike smiled and said to Hubby, “As long as you know she will make love to you when the time is right and it will be good, the intimacy is all you need.”

    We rang in the new year and nobody went to bed till almost three o’clock. We were feeling “no pain” and I took Hubby’s cage off and put it in the satchel we brought. I told him since I was on my period we wouldn’t be having sex and he wouldn’t want it on when we went riding. We got undressed and both laid on the lower bunk. He caressed my breasts and rubbed my genitals and I started rubbing his penis. We were giggling and kissing and suddenly Hubby exploded all over my belly and seconds later I had a full orgasm without any penetration. We were both surprised. I don’t know what we were expecting to happen since we were masturbating each other pretty intensely. For a second it seemed like my tampon was going to come out and Hubby pushed it back in which just made my orgasm even bigger. We rolled up in each other’s arms and kissed forever. Then we realized we were both a mess and started to laugh. We managed to sneak into the bathroom without being seen and shared a quick shower. We got into our PJ’s and Hubby climbed in the top bunk and we both were giggly like a couple of teenagers for a while till we fell asleep. I don’t know if it was because we had a couple too many glasses of wine or just that we had never had an experience like that before but it was pure fun.

    While we were getting our machines ready to ride the next morning, our host came over all smiles and said, “I guess you two brought in the new year right.” I think I turned more shades of red than you knew existed. Hubby just laughed and said, “Yes we did.” The other couples joined in the laughter.

    The rest of the weekend was just having fun with the gang. Most of the couples had to be home for Monday so Sunday night everyone helped clean up the cabin and said our goodbyes. This is one New Year’s Eve I won’t forget.

    We got home late last night and I made Hubby just hold me and I slept in his arms with his cage back on. I have today off and we will do something together. Something a little quieter.
     
  19. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    Your story reminds me of our start, although our journey was not as emotional. I am talking about the “aha” moment. When it clicks and things change.

    When we started she unlocked me almost every night if not every night. Almost always with some kind of orgasm for me. Don’t get me wrong, I love orgasms, but I found it odd that she seemed to want to fool around so often.

    I got pierced for my new cage that was ordered and in that healing period something clicked for her. You see I was physically unable to be active down there, and when I continued to pleasure her without her being able to reciprocate, it got real. She had never felt it was ok not to reciprocate. She had even felt it was her job as a partner to do things even if she knew she wouldn’t get anything from it.

    She was able to receive affection without feeling obligated to do other things for the very first time. Even though I had told her that I didn’t want control and it was always her that was in charge, she had still thought she needed to go just as far with me as I took her. The healing time gave her experience in receiving pleasure, being loved, and someone giving without taking.

    It was then that the honesty and her control began. It was ok to have an orgasm and not give me one if she wasn’t in the mood for that. It was ok to kiss and fondle and leave it at that. It was ok to go to bed and not do anything at all. Turns out, which I already knew, she doesn’t get a lot out of us having sex(me inside her). She is into size and I am not very big. We both love the intimacy of doing that so she still does it occasionally, but for the most part it’s not how she wants to have sex, and I would never want her to do something she doesn’t want to do. We have other methods for her sexual release, and reserve me being inside of her is reserved for being intimate, sharing a connection, and more often than not giving me a treat for being a loving partner.

    The moral of the story I guess is that things really do open up more when that click happens, when she finally realizes that she can do as much or as little as they want, and that their partner gets pleasure from ensuring hers.

    Good luck this new year.
     
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  20. Hubby&Missy
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    Hubby&Missy Love keeps us together

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    @Nicoftime there seem to be parallels in our journeys and we have both seemed to reach places we might have thought were out of reach at the beginning. I think all of us have learned what true love is and the more limited role of the orgasm in love. And both of our wives have found an inner strength that has been so key.

    I don’t know if you ever had moments of true panic or not. I had one in particular I could not really express until now. At one point I began to wonder if the only way that Missy would ever be satisfied with me was if I gave her total control and conceded that we would never make physical love again. I feared I would be nothing more than a friend in her house as just a partner, never feeling true intimacy. I wondered if I would even feel loved at all. That was my low point. and I struggled with how would I cope with that and how does anyone cope with that. One couple assured me that even in extreme FLR the love is still there. That helped some.

    Fortunately, friends I found here turned me around and showed me I could be intimate without actual sex and I never had to actually face that fear. That, I believe is when my actual growth started. It was then I began to learn the difference between making love and having sex. When I started to mature, Missy was able to become stronger and when the stars aligned on that Thanksgiving weekend our “Click” as you say happened.

    We are still learning about ourselves and each other. This weekend was the biggest party we actually ever were at and we learned about the pitfalls of having a couple too many glasses of wine. Aside from being a bit embarrassing it was a fantastic, fun moment for us both but in the future will be a little more careful. I hope all our future lessons are this easy.

    I have followed some of your journey and you are a talented writer. I look forward to reading more of your journey in the future.
     
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  21. Hubby&Missy
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    Hubby&Missy Love keeps us together

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    Missy’s birthday was Sunday the 9th. I got tickets to a Broadway show and reservations at the famous Warwick Hotel for Friday and Saturday nights. I had cleared it with her boss so she could leave early Friday. I told Missy on last Wednesday so she would be ready. We were on pins and needles till we actually got in the theatre with so many shows being canceled. The bus got us to the city in time to catch a very late dinner ( I wasn’t driving in NYC.) They had gotten a few inches of snow in the morning and the city was a mess but we managed to get around. Double glad I wasn’t trying to drive. We talked a little and Missy was pretty excited Then it was pretty much straight to bed. We kissed and cuddled but she was too wound up to even melt. Saturday morning we went shopping at all the iconic places including Cartier (didn’t buy anything there but it is an amazing place.) We found a small hole in the wall restaurant/deli in our travels and ate a very late lunch there so we skipped dinner. It was actually really good. Saturday night of course was the show. We saw Lion King (She’s a big Disney fan and loved the movie) Not exactly like the movie. It was actually way better.

    We went back to the hotel and she was pretty wound up. We petted a lot and then she said, “I just want to feel special and loved tonight.” I knew exactly what she meant. I held her in that special way for a very long time because she was still a little wound up and kept talking about the day. Eventually she got very quiet and she melted and she curled up in my arms. She didn’t actually say she loved me. She just said, “This has been a wonderful day. Thank you.” I didn’t hear a sound out of her after that.

    Sunday we did some sightseeing in the morning and got another great lunch. We caught the bus back home. Sunday night she removed my cage (she hadn’t taken it off for the weekend) but said she just wanted it to be romantic because she loves me so much. I caressed her breasts which she always likes and then she climbed on top and inserted my member in her. She just laid that way very still for a long time kissing me. No orgasms. No words. Just warm, quiet, intimacy. Finally she rolled off and put her head on my shoulder and said, “This was a wonderful birthday. Thank you” She was asleep in the blink of an eye.

    Neither of us had an orgasm all weekend but I couldn’t feel more loved and I think she feels the same way.
     
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  22. Hubby&Missy
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    Hubby&Missy Love keeps us together

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    I’m a little miffed with Hubby. By now he should know that if there is something fun to write about, I get to write about it. I can’t stay mad long though. It was a fantastic birthday present. New York City is an exciting place to visit. The lights, the noise, people everywhere, the shops, the food, the shows. Would never want to live there for the exact same reasons. The lights I see when I look up at night at home are the constellations. The noises are silence or an occasional coyote howling.

    I’ll forgive Hubby for writing first but he’ll have to give me a real nice fuzzy tonight. Or maybe a real good oral.

    Thank you Hubby for a wonderful birthday.
     
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  23. Hubby&Missy
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    Hubby&Missy Love keeps us together

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    Last night I was feeling a little giddy. No reason. Well maybe one. Hubby is scheduled for his vasectomy on Monday. I have been alternating between supporting him and teasing him about how he isn’t going to want to have sex for a couple of weeks. The doctor said he wants him to have at least 20 ejaculations in the first three months before he comes back for his final sterility test. I told Hubby 20 orgasms is a half year ration for him. If he gets those in three months, he’ll owe me three months of abstinence. He is being a good sport. He said I promised him he could have all the sex he wants in a weekend so technically 20 orgasms could be a one weekend ration. I laughed pretty hard and told him that was wishful thinking. So far he has never done it more than twice in a weekend and the second one wasn’t all that big.

    It had been almost two weeks since his last orgasm because we didn’t have actual sex on my birthday weekend and the weeknights as usual we were fairly tired. He did give me oral a couple nights but mostly it has just been fuzzies and melts.

    So back to where I started. We were bantering back and forth all evening and we decided to go up to bed early. Like about 8:30 early. We got undressed and he had his back to me and I grabbed the fly swatter from the closet shelf and smacked his butt. He yelped and asked what that was for. I said, “I heard you had a bug up your ass.” Then I broke out laughing at my own bad joke and couldn’t stop. I don’t know if any of you have ever had a laughing fit but it is something that you just can’t stop and that got Hubby laughing. We both fell on the bed. He was naked and I just had on my panties. He started wrestling with me and when he had me pinned he started kissing me all over.

    Finally, I stopped laughing and put my arms around him and said I love you so much. He kissed his way down to my abdomen and slid my panties off and started to give me oral. I had an amazing orgasm. He came up and we kissed and snuggled for a bit. I still had my necklace with the key on because I never got to put it on the dresser. I took it off and handed it to him. He took the cage off and proceeded to make love to me and he had a great orgasm. I was close but didn’t quite get there. We kissed and hugged for a couple minutes and then I whispered I needed that second orgasm. He was soft and there was no way he was going to be able to do PIV but he didn’t hesitate. He went back down and gave me another oral orgasm that was even better than the first. Then he came up and we kissed and the juices on his lips and tongue were strange but somehow almost intoxicating.

    After a few minutes we got off the bed and he pulled the cover off onto the floor and pulled down the sheet. He laid me back on the bed and climbed in beside me and just held me so tight for a long time. Then he rolled on his back and put my head on his shoulder and pulled the sheet up. He said I love you so much. Then with a little laugh he asked, “Did you at least get the bug?”


    We woke up very early this morning. We snuggled for a minute or two and decided we really needed to shower and we washed each other and we were still a little giggly. I told him he needed to wash the bed spread and sheets so he is doing that and getting our breakfast ready while I write this. I have to leave for work in less than a half hour so I better go eat.
     
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  24. Hubby&Missy
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    Hubby&Missy Love keeps us together

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    I took a personal day to take Hubby to get “snipped.” LOL He is definitely tender and feeling some pain so I have avoided the urge to tease him. He is actually “bucking up” very well and at one point I told him, “I’m proud of you. You’re dealing with the pain like a woman.” We both laughed and then he said please don’t make me laugh. It goes straight to my nuts and they do not need any extra jiggles. Then we both laughed some more.

    Actually that isn’t why I decided to write this afternoon. The fact that Hubby isn’t going to feel like having sex for a week or two got me thinking. Orgasms for me come easily and now that I am not afraid of them I really enjoy them. I even look forward to them. Hubby has always liked them. I really expected these first weeks to be one big sex orgy. Instead it has been mostly once a week for actual sex. He has given me oral a few times which is good but I prefer PIV with Hubby. And yet we are both satisfied. More than satisfied. We have never felt more in love in our lives.

    Back before Christmas Hubby said it is not about the orgasms as much as the intimacy and closeness. He is so right. But I don’t believe we could have the closeness we have now if we couldn’t regularly make sexual love. At least for us it takes both. God led us to a place of true intimate love without intercourse last summer but we couldn’t see it because we weren’t able to have the sex. There is something about sharing the full experience once in a while that makes this whole thing work for us. God needed us to find that loving place first before sex became possible because that love is what it is all about. Now we have it all. All isn’t what I expected it to be. It is better than what I expected. A little sex and a lot of love. God does work in strange ways. He made US find our way to his way. We are so blessed.

    It seems like the balance between occasional sex and constant non-sexual intimacy is now the cornerstone in our bedroom and our marriage. The orgasms aren’t important until suddenly they are important. Do any other couples here feel this way? If so, are chastity and the cage the tools that maintain that balance? I am not sure if we need to keep using the cage. I want him to be comfortable and i am sure I can trust him. I know Hubby says, “If it ain’t broke, don’t try to fix it.” What we have now is wonderful but it is all so new to me it still scares me sometimes. I don’t want to ever lose it.

    Hubby says he feels strong and powerful when he makes me feel loved in that sensual way even though he does not get to have an orgasm. I am not sure exactly what he feels. He is not good at explaining his feelings. It is not control power because he is doing exactly what I want. It is not physical strength because he is so gentle. I am at a bit of a loss as to what he actually feels. I am sure most of you men must get a special feeling of satisfaction when you know you have made your wife feel special. Can any of you explain it better? I guess it doesn’t matter but I am curious.
     
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  25. maid julie
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    maid julie Long term member

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    It’s knowing that he is able to please you is what gives him his satisfaction
     
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