Chapter 2, a sissys diary

The helplessness could have a lot to do with it. Master doesn’t seem to be phased by my lack of mobility. He simply chooses to use his dominance before bed so he can still get his own sexual gratification. I don’t mind though, I’ve always like the idea of being Master human sex doll :sex016:.

Last night was a bit less full on but Master got his pleasure from me. I was pretty tired so I lay on my side whilst Master penetrated my arse. Theres something to be said for being gay, pleasuring Master can some times be a lot more straight forward. It sounds like it can be complicated pleasuring a Mistress. Having said that it can be just as hard pleasing a sub, I know we don’t always make life easy on our doms :tongue:.

 

Been ordered to do my diary. It is one of my regular tasks that I should be doing but there hasn’t been a lot to report. My days are spent playing on the computer and watching TV, I can’t do much else. Still pleasuring Master each night as I should although I don’t feel as horny as I usually do. I think it must be lack of sleep. The cast isn’t exactly the most comfortable thing to have to try and sleep with.

Apart from writing my diary and pleasuring Master we’re living for the most part a vanilla lifestyle. I know that Master can’t wait until he can have his little sissy back to boss around. I think even after the cast has been taken off it will still take a few days to get back into the swing of things. I know I’ve said it before but I can’t wait until I’m better.

 

Newsub4a: Thanks for your kind words. Mistress Watchful should give you your own agony uncle section, your very wise and always have great advice, if you don't mind me saying :angel:.

I can’t wait for my physical therapy. I’m hoping for some intense sessions .


Denialpet: I’m flatters that you have taken the time to read it from begging to end. It’s nice to know that people are reading it and taking something from it.
I’m hoping that my diary with get more interesting in the next couple of weeks.

 

Yet another exciting day spent watching TV. Most of what’s on is truly awful. It wouldn’t be so bad if we had discovery channel for me to watch, at least then I could watch something stimulating rather than second rate day time TV.

I feel like some one has pressed the pause button on my life. No work and no play. I want to start earning money so Master and I can afford to buy more toys and there’s still a maids outfit that I want. I’m hoping as soon as the plaster comes off we’ll be able to go straight back to how we were.

I can see now that Master is starting to get really tired. He didn’t even want me to pleasure him last night. I think when I’m better I’m going to have to spend a few days pampering him in order to get his energy levels back up.

One bit of good news, I can go through the day without having to take pain killers. Must mean my foot’s getting better. Not walking on it yet but I’m going to give it full rest until Wednesday when I go for check up and hopefully it will be better.

 

I think things are slowly starting to get back to normal. Last night before bed we had a little play time. Master was going to give me a ruined orgasm but things didn’t go quite to plan. Master played with my sissy clit for a while stopping and starting, bringing me close to orgasm repeatedly. After a short while he turned me onto my front, lubed up my arse and then his cock, he then began to make love to me. Whilst he was making love he raised my hips up so he could grab hold of my sissy clit, he then began to bring me close again. He was about to give me a ruined orgasm when I tensed up and his cock slipped out of my arse, just as he was about to cum. So instead of me getting the ruined orgasm, Master did.

As you would expect Master wasn’t too happy and had me apologies. He had me pleading to be exact. Pleading for him to forgive me. Eventually he said he did and I thought that was that so we went to sleep.

Today has been pretty usual, we’ve both been playing on the commuter, Master on the PS3 me on the PC and we’ve watched some TV together.
Just after a film that we we’re watching finished Master started playing with my nipples and then my sissy clit, teasing me yet again, bringing me to the edge.
He did this for a good 5 or 10 minuets and then reminded me of last nights events.
Each time I got close he smacked my sissy clit and told me how pathetic I was and how I shouldn’t cum. I was close to breaking down, whimpering like a little dog, but that didn’t stop him.
When he was satisfied that I was broken down enough he ordered me to apologies for ruining his orgasm last night, I did as I was told and began pleading to him and saying I was sorry, he just told me that he didn’t believe me which just made me whimper and plead some more.

Eventually he said he believed me and said that I was too make it up to him. So I kissed him and began to give him the best hand job I could. I did this for a while and then Master went away and returned with some lube. He had me there and then on the couch in the front room, using my sissy ass for his pleasure. He came and was satisfied, leaving me in a whimpering frustrated state.

I’m so glad we’re getting back to normal. Saying that I think Master has become more ruthless, must be all that pent up dominance.

 

This weekend was quite a busy one, was out most of Saturday night at a friends drinking and had working on Sunday. Well not working as such more supervising, got some help in to keep my customers happy. Hopefully won't have the plaster on much longer, got a check up on Wednesday and I hope they take it off.

Last night was quite eventful. Before bed as usuall I had to pleasure Master which I did or began to do. Master this time wanted to make use of my sissy clit. He decided that he was going to ride my clit for his pleasure, and I think he enjoyed himself.
I did quite well, lasting for a while but it took all my concentration to stop myself form cuming, when I told Master I was close he just told me how much of a pathetic sissy I was and that I didn’t deserve to cum.

After a short rest Master began again and I tried hard to concentrate. Master began to get close himself, he starting moaning with pleasure and as he got close I could feel myself getting closer. I knew it was too last to stop, Master would have just ended up with a ruined orgasm again so I didn’t say anything. We ended up cuming at the exact same time although I think Master got the most enjoyment out of it. I just remember feeling incredibly disappointed that I had cum.

Master didn’t punish me though, I think he was more than satisfied with the pleasure I had given him. I on the other hand was left disappointed with myself. I was concentrating so hard on not cumin that I didn’t even get any pleasure from the release.

I hope at least by the time my cast comes off that I will back to my peak and Master can begin to work me hard. I’m looking forward to Master being able to dress me again. I think this time around Master is really embracing my feminization. I can’t wait.

 

Not much to report today. Spent another thrilling day watching TV and playing on the PC. Been trying to put pressure on my foot, had a little walk and seemed ok. I recon the cast will come off tomorrow but not sure how mobile I’ll be to start off with.

I can’t wit to get back to work, need the money and now appreciate how much better it is to be outside working and being active. Probably be back to work on Thursday even if I have to take painkillers. Hopefully will be back to my full sissy self again in now time.

 

Plasters off! Yippy. Foots still a bit sore but at least I can get about a bit more easily now. Doctor gave me a lovely support shoe to wear, its not exactly fetching. Its a bit of struggle to get into my normal shoes though.
I hope now that I can start to get back into my submissive role. Im missed it so much. Havent had any dressing time in weeks and Master seemed to be taking control of my dressing just before the accident.

I dont think Im going to be back to how I was straight away but at least Master feels he is able to be a bit more rough and dominant with me now. It helps that I can walk unaided.
Who knows what fun is in store for me now :sex020:.
At least one good thing to come from all this is that I now know how much I enjoyed being Masters sissy slave. And how much Ive missed not being able to submit completely.

 

Well Master certainly didn’t hand around last night. Last night I felt like Master was everything I’ve wanted him to be. Whilst I was sat watching some film Master disappeared and I could hear him in the dungeon moving things around.
After while he came through in some sexy underwear straddled me and started kissing me passionately, he then led me through to the bedroom.

When in the bedroom I was stripped naked, a posture collar was placed around my neck and ordered to get on all fours on the bed, I was then handcuffed to the headboard, Master placed nipple clamps on and then the torture began. He began straight away with orgasm denial training. He stroked my swollen sissy clit repeatedly until I began to get close to orgasm, each time I said that I was close and he then spanked me and said I was to remember the pain I feel when I get close.

Whilst I was being tutored I was ordered to recall the rules that I should live by as a sissy. And I was to say ‘stop sir, cuming is bad’ like I used to before I got close to orgasm.
I couldn’t remember all the rules to begin with but being spanked soon refreshed my memory.

After my tutored and training was over, I was ordered to pleasure Master. I did as I was told, and kissed him, played with his nipples and then slowly worked my way down to his cock. I thought he may enjoy it if I road his cock so lubed up and slowly eased his cock into my arse. I tried to ride him straddling him but it was putting to much pressure on my still sore foot. We ended up with Master on top and my legs wrapped tightly around his waist.

After Master was done he picked out some of my favorite panties and I put them on. I don’t think I could have asked for more from a play session. I didn’t grumble or even think about how it could be better.
I’m hoping now though that Master will take my feminization in hand, I really would like to act and appear a lot more feminine when I’m being Master’s sissy maid. I think we need to find some training resources to help me flourish.

Still using crutches to help me get around but at least the cast is off now and I can begin to start walking again.

 

Had pretty usually day yesterday. Spent a lot of time on the net and the rest of my time watching TV. Before Master came home I thought I’d make dinner as I’m a lot more mobile now. I even managed to bake an apple crumble. I’d make a good housewife.

Master decided that for his pleasure last night he would penetrate his sissy. I was ordered to lay on my front and Master lubed us both up. His cock eased in and he began thrusting, His cock must have been at just the right angle to message my prostate as it felt great, more intense than usual. I was moaning like a sissy with my head in the pillow.

Master seemed to enjoy hearing me moaning like I was although receiving all tha pleasure some times doesn’t feel right. I always think that Master is supposed to receive all the pleasure and that I should get my pleasure from serving master’s needs.
I guess that I should be happy that master enjoys giving me pleasure just as much as receiving pleasure himself.

 

NuSub, your probably right. At least the pleasure I receive comes without any release, it also gives me a good chance to train my vocal cords to sound a bit more feminine. On that note I’ve noticed it’s quite hard to sounds feminine without being quite loud, ah well, keeps the neighbors guessing :tongue:.

 

Hello all, had a bit of a break from my diary this weekend. Been a vanilla weekend for the most part. Had a house warming party to go to on Saturday so haven’t had a lot of play time. Saturday day was spent preparing and Sunday was spent recovering.

Decided to lay off any talk of feminization, I felt as if I was forcing the issue a bit. I really want it but I’m trying to leave it up to master. All the information is there in my favorites and there are people to contact on the web but I’m going to let master decide when he is ready to moves things along.

One thing Master does like to do is he me moaning like a woman. He plays with my sissy tits for hours until the woman inside comes out. The feeling is less like I’m imitating rather I feel more feminine and my voice seems to change naturally and sounds very convincing. I think Master gets off on the volume as it can be quite hard to control myself.

Master trained my vocal cords last night when we we’re in the bath. It’s was very intense. After it all got to much and I almost fainted Master gave me a head massage, it was so relaxing I could have drifted off into a deep sleep. It’s not often that I am able to be that relaxed. It takes me ages to switch off a night some times hours just to get to sleep.

After my vocal training we watched some TV and then headed to bed, where Master got to exercise his vocal cords a bit. He decided that I was going to pleasure him with my sissy clit, first Master riding me then Master on all fours and then me on top. I was so surprised how long I lasted. The inevitable did happen though when Master got close to cuming I could feel myself getting close but it was the point of no return for the both of us. Luckily though Master tensed up and my sissy clit was pushed out just in time for me to have a ruined orgasm. I still got release though which I feel bad about.

 

I was some what of a naughty girl last night. Master has been using my sissy clit for his pleasure lately and last night was no different, only this time I came not by accident.
Lets just say I got a bit carried away, I felt really good about myself I was lasting quite long and Master sounded like he was enjoying himself so I just let my pleasure take hold.
I ended up pinning Master down and fucking him quite hard until I came.
I couldn’t help myself I felt all manly and dominant and took advantage of the situation.

Master didn’t say much when we we’re done, he didn’t say much at all. I told him that I came but he didn’t punish me, we just ended up going to sleep.
I did feel guilty but at the same time I didn’t, it’s hard to explain what came over me.

In limbo at the moment, Master and I are both quite tired and grouchy so haven’t really had a chance to talk about anything. I still want to be Master’s sissy I just let my manly urges get the best of me. Maybe this is why most chastity slaves are denied all penetration.

 

Rant rant rant!

Yesterday was strange. Managed to do some work although not a lot. Still in quite a bit of pain no matter what pain relief I use. After work we sat around a bit and then we went to the shop for some steak which I later cooked for tea.

After we had been to the shop Master kept saying that I should cheer him up some how, I knew what he was getting at, he wanted me to dress up but it didnt feel right just going and dressing up off my own back. Im still not sure to what extend Master enjoys me being his sissy.

Eventually he came straight out with what he wanted me to do, which was dress up as his sissy. So I put on my stocking and suspenders and a nice matching bra. I was then ordered to clean the kitchen, wed had dinner by now.

I didnt feel completely right dressed. I wasnt uncomfortable or humiliated I just didnt feel as good about myself as I usually do when dressed. And to be honest I didnt put that much effort into what I looked like I as I wasnt sure what Master was expecting from me.

Really in limbo at the mo, on a bit of a downer after cuming and I think Masters still in limbo as well. I really shouldnt of sum, it wasnt an accident, I pinned him down I knew what I was doing but the moments leading him to me cuming felt so good.

After saying how I felt all manly and masculine the other night I was moaning last night because Ive started to get proper stubble. Ive never had much facial hair shaving around once a fortnight but now Im getting stubble and I hate it. So do I really want to feel more masculine or have I recently just had a hit of testosterone.
What ever it is I dont like it, I dont want stubble. Where most people feel ashamed if they develop hair late, I was happy about it.

Ill leave it there for now, ranting far too much.

 

Just bin to shop to get some chocolate to cheer Master up. When we got home I snuck into the bedroom and put my CB back on, then went into the front room and presented to Master naked and gestured to lock my CB. That seemed to cheer him up a bit.

Still a bit confused about my mood swings. It seems odd to me and I don’t like it all that much. I’ve read about anti androgens before might look into it again.