Changes in your partner throughout your chastity journey

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by Fandango4t5, Jun 21, 2024.

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  1. Fandango4t5
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    Fandango4t5 Member

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    From the initial (bombshell) introduction of male chastity being unexpected dropped into her relationship, to the on going (roller coaster) journey that this chastity lifestyle brings.

    How has your partners perception and interaction with chastity changed over time?
     
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  2. TangoSub
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    TangoSub Long term member

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    Interesting reflection... Mistress/Wife actually surprised me with first cage many many years ago as sort of a gag gift I think. We started playing around with it a bit among our other toys. I had always been more of the submissive type and the cage just seemed to bring that out 10x in me.

    Mistress/Wife appreciated the attention and domestic benefits but lost a bit of interest in the actual KH admiration aspect....lost/forgot where she left/hid the key a lot :-( and wasnt too interested in that part.

    Our solution was I found online KH/Mistress that works for all three of us.

    Now as years in chastity have continued, I have found she is even shopping for my attire and helping me dress/etc more.

    Good luck with your journey.
     
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  3. Fisherman
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    Fisherman Long term member

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    In the beginning we both viewed it as a game. We would play it for a while, then take a break. Now she wants it full time and considers it our normal. She likes to tell me that sex is me licking her pussy.
     
  4. JaySaysYes
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    JaySaysYes I identify as someone that is always right

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    She has become more confident, feels sexier, and far more selfish in bed.
     
  5. LoveIt
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    LoveIt Active member

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    When proposed chastity to my KH, she was just leaving the country for 10 days. I wanted to have 10 productive days instead of 10 days of wanking. She was just "whatever, it's your penis, if you want to lock it - lock it". A little concerned about safety, wanted me to have the key, but I convinced her to take it.
    First cage was cheap from a sex shop, skin issues on the 4th day, had to break the cage, but I ordered HT5.
    Started using it from time to time and she liked the change in me. From "whatever" she went to "hey, when you will put the cage back?".
    Then she read that article about the 90 days and said she wanted to try it. Basically went from "hey, when you will put the cage back?" to "you will be locked for 3 months". Which turned into 100 days, because the 90 days ended in the middle of December and she said "I don't want old you during the holidays, so no unlock".
    Then I had couple of weeks out and she asked me to put the cage back on. After a week caged she told me "This time is forever, you are never going out of the cage". Smart move, I wouldn't agree on it if I wasn't already caged.
     
  6. The Queens consort
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    The Queens consort Long term member

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    While MC was initially “my” thing that she went along with, it eventually turned into our thing. The further we go down this path, the more leadership I see from her. She now sees how important this is for me, and how much she benefits from it. At first the thought of going 24/7 was insanity to her, she is actively helping me find a cage suitable for much longer term wear. Dare I say 24/7 my be in my future?
     
  7. ChloeSissy
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    ChloeSissy Member

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    I have basically been caged since before I met my owner. She was a dominatrix looking for a submissive sissy. I asked her to lock me up and keyhold me and put an ad up for me on an escort website. We had so much fun we started doing stuff like this all the time. Traveling and going to different places. She’s a psychologist and loves playing mindgames a Shortly after we met we started going to fetish clubs and I was locked and collared pretty much most of the time. The first time she took me to a lifestyle club we first spent the day shopping and buying outfits. Then at the club we were playing pool with these two really hot guys and I even got hit on. We ended up going home with a guy and having a 3 way. He Fucked her while she was on top of me with a strapon and I even got fucked by our bull too. We sucked his cock together and then after I asked for a release and she said no for the first time which really turned me on. And I had been making comments about wanting to be locked for 3 months and she just told me you asked for 3 months and I expect to get it. I was locked for 3 whole months in this tiny little nub cage. She has always known me and all my kinks and she teases me the whole time. She got me all hot talking about how she wanted me to finally fuck her and was controlling a vibrating butt plug in my ass from afar. Then she abruptly told me she had to start getting ready for her man to come over and she was planning on getting fucked and told me to enjoy my blue balls. I ended up breaking down in tears and begging to be released after only like 80 something says I was so close. We met up, I wanked off furiously for about a minute and then she and I discussed how long I should be locked and since I hadn’t served the 3 months I promised her it should be at least that. I agreed and thanked her for letting me out and it kept escalating from there. Eventually on September 11, 2023 we agreed permanent chastity was the best thing. When I’m unlocked I’m handcuffed and she cleans my cage and teases me a bit then locks me back up. It is absolutely perfect. She has made all my sissy dreams come true. I’m married to a woman who understands what turns me on, who’s super into it and the same things as me, who loves doing girly shit like shopping and getting out nails done. She encourages me
    To be confident as a woman when we’re out together as girls, she respects me as a man in public. No one would know I’m a chastity slave to my wife.
     

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  8. sb_andycb
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    sb_andycb Member

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    First cage was a home made job well over 35 years ago. My wife was a bit perplexed, but sort got the bondage aspect of it. Eventually the CB6K came to market and we got one. She still thought it a bit weird, but went along. We spent a weekend in the city at a hotel for a music event and I was locked the entire time. She claims that was the first time she ever had an actual orgasm from oral, and she loved it!

    Over the years we morphed through various different devices and she had some success being the dominant partner... read books, went to a pro-dom for training, etc. But for whatever reason chastity just never really seemed to "click" for her. Interestingly, she is still the dominant partner in our relationship, but she just doesn't seem to enjoy chastity.

    Last year, since we'd been at this so long, I expressed a desire to stay locked full time. She's gone through menopause, and age has done a number on my ability to get and stay hard, so being locked has offered me a place to be comfortable regarding performance, yet still have a fun kink. I proposed wearing the device as a token of my love and commitment to her. At first she seemed for it, but then said she wasn't comfortable with me being in a device all the time. Part of her concern (I eventually learned) was that she was worried about me being "found out", or having an accident and that she would be embarrassed. Not me, her. I guess I shouldn't have been surprised by this as over the years she's never been comfortable with the thought of wearing her keys in public, or me having some kind of chastity themed shirt out in public. She was never concerned with me being ridiculed, but that somehow she would be shamed for it. Eventually this lead to a bit of an argument and in frustration I purged all things chastity in our sex life, save one device, which I gave to her and said do with it as she pleased.

    Since then I've tried to play it cool, but after that many years of chastity in our relationship I just couldn't get it out of my head. (There is another thread posing the question "Is chastity an addiction?". I think it may be for me.) Anyway, we've played a couple of times, but only for a day or two, which is decidedly not how I'd like to do it, but I don't push and I don't initiate or bring it up. I leave it up to her to decide. It's frustrating, but in the end you can't force a partner to do something that they're not interested in. (Well, you could, but that seems like the ultimate in topping from the bottom.)
     
  9. FLRAdvocate
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    FLRAdvocate Long term member

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    I am basically in the same boat. When we first started going out together in 2017, chastity was a kind of playful thing she and I wanted to try. It went on to get to the point where I was "doing ok without pussy" in her words, so though I'd be out for brief periods in the early days, it has now largely became as permanent as practically possible. She (who is 28) gets all the dick she needs from other men, fucks me with a strap-on when she wants to work out some aggression, gets multiple orgasms per day from my tongue when she's in the mood, and has developed into this incredibly confident, assertive young woman who is not overbearing or arrogant. We have a very stable, solid relationship where she leads and I follow, and I am perfectly content to be in it with her. I wish I had discovered this dynamic much earlier in life.
     
  10. Shepherdsflock
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    Shepherdsflock Long term member

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    My wife was not sexually confident at all and hated anything sexual before we went down this road. It has been close to 8 years since we first experimented with chastity devices and orgasm denial.

    She liked it almost immediately, and slowly became far more confident in her own sexuality. To the point where now she pretty much is always the one who initiates sexual stuff. I'm not really sure exactly how it all works for her in terms of emotions and erotic stimulation, but something about her being able to have an orgasm and knowing I can't gets her pretty turned on.

    We're now at the longest period in our marriage that I have been denied orgasms, about 13 months. And she seems to be more excited about it now than even at the beginning. She really seems to enjoy it and said that she finds my frustration really cute and fun. She has said that she really likes how things currently are, so I doubt that things will be changing for a very long time.
     
  11. ChloeSissy
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    ChloeSissy Member

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    That’s so awesome! I’m so happy for you guys !
     
  12. Shimone
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    Shimone Long term member

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    It is hard to describe.

    We started our relationship as an FLR with chastity riht from the beginning. So she knew quite well what she got into right from the start and was not awkward about it at all, but even so it just became even more natural to her.
    The best way to describe is maybe that she made some schedules for cleanup etc. in the beginning not fo forget it. Now it is just in the back of her mind like her morning routine - not actively thinking about such things anymore.
     
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  13. Tom Harris
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    Tom Harris Member

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    That is exactly our experience as well
     
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  14. samseaborne
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    samseaborne Long term member

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    Let me put iot this way, if 6 months ago you would have said "Your Wife/KH is going to do <insert list of some extreme stuff> to you"
    I would have said "Yeh if that happens I will eat a plate of bugs"

    Well today I would have eaten a plate of bugs.
     
  15. Curious40ish
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    Curious40ish Long term member

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    I too wished I could live this life sooner and with somebody who would fully embrace it.
    My chance to have a cuckoldress happened while I was a bull playing the field and not what I was looking for.
    Ended up marrying a woman who was cheating on her husband with me, I thought she would be the 1 but it has taken 24 years to get her to hold a key and no cuckolding on the horizon. Still I must be grateful for what I do have.
     
  16. Alphasub6988
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    Alphasub6988 Active member

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    She has certainly grown to enjoy it. We basically got into the formal FLR and chastity play around the same time. The chastity definitely adds an energy for us that really makes things fun! Went from knowing nothing about it to locked up for weeks at a time. Lol
     
  17. Headtrip
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    Headtrip Long term member

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    EMC was my wife's fantasy. It took her years to lure me in, so she was very cautious at first. It did not take long, however, for her to become very confident with it. She never imagined it getting this serious and admits she is a different person now. It has done a lot of good in our relationship but I do see a dark side in that she is sometimes less patient with me IRL, and in the bedroom she doesn't see me as a sexual provider in the same way (LOL, that is probably MY ego talking). For sure she has changed, as have I.
     
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  18. oliverobeys
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    oliverobeys obedient cock

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    My exMiss would tell me that too. And make me repeat it back to her.
     
  19. true42
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    true42 Owned member

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    This is 100% what I have experienced. She has become more patient with everyone EXCEPT me, and has become far more critical of me and far less patient. It's actually a little bit strange. She's vanilla, not some sort of kinkstress domme. Just to be absolutely clear: I'm not complaining; I'm just describing my reality.
     
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  20. secretdan
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    secretdan Active member

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    I introduced chastity to my wife 6 months ago when we both started to open up about problems we were having with sex. Chastity had a funny way of solving all of those problems. I’m locked up full time and only released for shaving, doctors visits, security checks, and for the one day a month she wants to play with “her toy.” I have never felt more connected with her sexually. And she has certainly changed. She is discovering her hidden sadistic side, and that has been a big surprise for her. Every time we’ve had sex since the cage came into play she’s embraced it more and more. I’m so grateful to this kink for making us more compatible together in bed.
     
  21. Lisa4343
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    Lisa4343 Long term member

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    I am happy for all of you.
     
  22. LukeVallentine
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    LukeVallentine Long term member

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    Wow, you really hit a jackpot with her. (X)
     
  23. ChloeSissy
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    ChloeSissy Member

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    I sure am a lucky girl. I come home and put on my maids outfit unless Goddess has another outfit picked out. I start dinner, often I get to give her foot rubs and kiss her feet and get teased or get to fuck her with my strapon over my locked clit
     
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  24. ChloeSissy
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    It makes perfect sense when you think about it. Women have patience for men that they respect. When your wife is above you she doesn’t respect you as a man and she doesn’t submit to you. She sees you as a pet.
     
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  25. Queens servant73
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    Queens servant73 Long term member

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    Over the five years of cage use, my Wife has grown far more confident, I think it made her feel sexier and stronger, she went from feeling guilty about denying my pleasure to now knowing I’m receiving pleasure through the denial. She truly took over about three years ago on our anniversary trip, her dominance on that trip surprised me and has fueled our sexual relationship since. It went from a game to something I never thought possible and I am loving it even though some weeks can be brutal. Her dominance has crossed over into “normal” life more and more as well.
     
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