I go through so many mental changes throughout chastity it's hard to keep up. As usual I have a drop in my fuzzy subbie feelings after an orgasm, but just a bit of teasing or verbal humiliation gets me right back there. Was told to wear lingerie she picked out for me, she reddened my bottom for missing some mornings of oral, and then later went down on her until she had 2 orgasms. The changes mentally between starting last night and going to work the next morning is crazy. 1. Super horny, willing to do anything, and hoping she lets me out. 2. Deep into orally pleasing her and all my focus is on hoping she gets off and if I'm doing a good job. 3. Goal accomplished, cock bulging trying to escape and get an ache deep down of NEEDING to cum as I lay my head on her tummy listening to her calm down. I would do anything at this point to cum. I want to rip my cage off, ram it in and pump until I greedily finish. 4. I start to calm down, I accept that I am not going to cum, get out of cage, or get any pleasure. I then want to kiss her all over, a general sense of love overwhelms me that I can't describe. 5. Waking next to her I feel the need to please again. Not only please, but to be put in my place by her. Desire for her to grab my head and use me, to make me do things that others would not. Dirty and selfless thoughts of rimming her, fucking her with the dildo, and watching her get herself off with vibrator fill my mind. 6. Then I turn ultra subbie and want to be totally owned. Being feminine, bowing and licking her very feet, being used with a strap-on for no other reason but that it amuses her, begging for a ruined orgasm just so I can clean it off for her, having her humiliate my size and call me a girl, call it a clit or pussy, telling me you just might bring home some guy with a huge cock and fuck him right in front of me...anything, I will do anything. 7. Does this thing still work? I wonder if I could just shake it enough, use the wand at just the right angle, I really want to cum and nobody but me will know. 8. Ok that still doesn't work, acceptance, go back to #5 and tell her how much you love her and what you want to do for her...repeat. All this goes on in my mind over the course of hours and sometimes minutes. It's a crazy roller coaster.
By the way @Mistress Amanté, if you read this, know that I adore you more with each passing moment, regardless of what's flying through my weird little mind!
Several months ago Elle told me that we didn't do the chastity thing 24/7 even though I was wearing my device 24/7. I strongly disagreed with her and said that she might not be thinking about chastity all the time but I was. I am always aware of the device and a lot of the time I am aware of the sexual chemistry build up from ever extended periods of denial. I also described what sort of thoughts were rattling around in my head and Elle was quite shocked. To her all of this was easy, fun, something we did occasionally. She did not fully appreciate the effort it took on my part to give her control over my orgasms. I think that when she did realize what I was going through she appreciated it even more. It was, as you say, quite a roller coaster! My thoughts now are much more calm and accepting. Most of the time I am thinking more about our relationship in a broader sense than just about chastity.
Sometimes I get that feeling, that it's a game, and I understand where it comes from, heck it was my idea to play. But we are so open to communicate freely that I can talk about how I'm doing that it never gets to feel like she takes my chastity for granted. I am constantly running back and forth in my mind between all the dirty things I want to do or have done, and complete feeling of love and warmth.
My wife discovered early in our experimentation with male chastity that I became even more submissive [if that's possible] the longer she expected me to endure being restrained and locked up without relief. I would willingly bring her to numerous orgasms by what ever means or method she requested knowing that I would not be allowed any relief. To her amazement I even complied without question the first time that she instructed me to kiss and lick her anus. Then there is the constant teasing relating to my inadequate size and my inability to compete simple tasks to her satisfaction and my subsequent time in the naughty corner before I am punished. Is it any wonder one's emotions are constantly going from one extreme to the other.
I have gone through the things you listed except domination. My wife only has control over our sex life and nothing else. She does not want to be dominant. It is against her nature. It took me 3 years before she stopped feeling guilty about denying me enough to take me a few months without an orgasm. Still, she feels a little guilt for denying me. For us it is just a sex game we have been playing for the last few years. It is not our lifestyle so my experience is a little different. Hope you have as much fun as we do.