Change of mind

Discussion in 'Journals and blogs' started by harddenial, May 4, 2017.

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  1. mcfeely
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    mcfeely Active Member

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    I think it is time to put her over your knee or better yet, really pleasure her by tying her to the bed and using a vibrator on her for hours. There are some nice videos using a magic wand. I saw one where she was left for quite a while and actually passed out. She has had her fun at your expense but please 6 months. Clearly she doesn't care for you at all. I think she needs to be tested to see how important this is to her. She doesn't appear to be keeping her end of the bargin up ( unless thats what you discussed). I suspect you might be failing the "test" all women use to see if we are worthy. How about a 6 month role reversal?
     
  2. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    I never quite know if my last O was my last O. She could decide that I am better without them, and we don't have the "she needs my cock" type of sex life. She prefers toys and oral, so it's more of something she does as a treat.

    So I never know if she just might stop giving them to me. So far I usually make her feel so good she wants to, but there is always the possibility that she doesn't want my attentiveness to wane again.
     
  3. harddenial
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    harddenial Member

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    Thanks for your comments. I think she sees this as a role reversal from many earlier years. We have been practicing orgasm denial for a few years now and during that time she has been growing increasingly dominant (generally) which I have been pleased to see. She knows I like playing the long game so is happy to push my limits. I gave her a nice kiss as we got on with our day. She knew what I meant by it without me saying anything.
     
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  4. harddenial
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    harddenial Member

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    My wife told me today that she now expects pussy worship sessions to last at least an hour. Anything else would be unsatisfactory. Having done no teasing on me last time, this morning she teased me to distraction by running her fingers gently up and down my ass crack all the time I was caressing her clit. Although I stayed caged throughout anyway, the ten day timer on the Ksafe containing the key was up and she reset it for another ten days. Later when we were preparing lunch she picked our last cucumber from the garden, and brought it in smiling. I thought she was smiling because it was late in the year to find one, but she showed it to me: it was bent at 60degrees, and she said laughing "looks just like your cock locked in the cage!"
     
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  5. harddenial
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    harddenial Member

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    It's a long time since my last journal entry, but something interesting today. Backstory: My wife and I have involved orgasm denial and chastity devices in our relationship for 10 years, sometimes I have worn the cage for several weeks. A major change at the beginning of May this year was for me to be locked in my JB without any removal at all, i.e., am now "permanently locked" whatever that means exactly. This morning my wife made some comments on the effect of us introducing this change, a rare thing as she rarely talks about sex. She said that using the term "chastity device" was misleading as apart from no intercourse a man could still orgasm in the device, go to a prostitute, watch porn etc. Just call it a penis cage she said. [So she does not think of chastity as just a denial of intercourse.] Then she said, "In my opinion never removing the cage mostly has a mental effect, and the new arrangement has had a positive effect on our relationship". I asked how, and she said, "hard to describe, sort of equalized things more". She couldn't and didn't want to elaborate but that was her "gut feeling".

    I was obviously very pleased, and it is intriguing to think what changes in each of us since May has caused her to feel that beneficial effect.
     
  6. tqbartleby
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    tqbartleby Well-Known Member

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    My wife has been keeping me caged without orgasm for longer and longer periods--several weeks at a time. But yesterday she said in passing that she might be interested in penetration again (it's been a few years), which, she added, didn't mean I would get to come during it.

    We did that often in pre-chastity days: we'd have intercourse, during which she would bring herself to a climax, then she would say, "That's all." I would withdraw and she'd roll over and go to sleep. I found it wildly, almost unbearably exciting, and it took a lot of effort not to masturbate. (And I love the realization that's it's what men so often do, or used to--come and then roll over and start snoring. It's the ladies' turn!)

    But so far it's just a thought. We'll see if and when it happens.
     
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  7. harddenial
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    harddenial Member

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    Today after some intense pussy worship she talked again about the effect of permanent locking. Very unusual for her to again talk about sex. She said she really liked not having to think about keys and unlocking at all. A big plus. Also that she felt a bit passive just receiving orgasms(!) and needed to experiment more in being proactive. She even mentioned e-stim and that using it would not require unlocking. Amazed she had even thought about this, but what a nice surprise.
     
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  8. Rectrix
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    Rectrix Well-Known Member

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    It seems to me she's missing sort of the key point: the removal of your erection. The cage is about a lot more than no orgasms or no intercourse. I wonder if women understand the psychological meaning and importance of the erection itself to us boys.
     
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  9. Allen1987
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    Allen1987 All for Her

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    I have put a lot of thought into that question. Does having us locked up equal to how we feel about
    being denied? There must be some psychology that explains the intense feelings.

    Maybe it is just a step along the way. Once it is recognized I think that is when the wheels start going
    forward. What direction it goes depends on so many factors. I hope they turn out to be nice
    surprises in the future.:+1:
     
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  10. harddenial
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    harddenial Member

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    You are *exactly right*. I said that also not having proper erections is a very powerful feeling. She said "but you still get very hard in the cage". So indeed I don't think she can appreciate how different that is to a full 7" unconstrained erection. And actually it psyches me out sometimes ( a few times a year) when I wake up at night with an intense desire to remove the cage and I need to get up and walk around for a few minutes to get over the feeling of claustrophobia.
     
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  11. harddenial
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    harddenial Member

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    I took the opportunity to say " if we stopped chastity now what would you think?" She said "well its more important to you than me, say 75% to 25%, but it would definitely be a negative to stop."
    I thought that was a very honest and fair appraisal.
     
  12. Breathe
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    Breathe Wife, Owner, Dom/me, and KH of _and_smile

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    Re: impacts of erection restriction @Rectrix & @Allen1987

    I'd fantasized about cock control for years, but had no idea how to implement it to the degree I desired... Before finding physical chastity devices.

    Shortly after we made it to 24/7, it became remarkably obvious to us both just how many random, unnecessary erections he had. It's quite normal for a male, after all.

    However, when you start doing the math, the frequency of those unneeded erections is staggering. Thousands upon thousands of instances for temptation based solely on physiology.

    Well, no longer. And I relished in telling him so. Those erections are Mine now, after all - a delectable fact.

    The first time I told him any erection he had without My desire/consent was utterly useless, his hitched breath and stuttered reply indicated his buzzing excitement. When it truly started to sink in, knowing that part of his life was over, we both realized we were stepping into a whole new world.

    So yes. It may take some time and tinkering, but when a Keyholder understands the full power (and delight) of erection control... Watch out. ;)

    I've thoroughly enjoyed reading your journal, @harddenial - hope to see more soon. :)
     
  13. Rectrix
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    Rectrix Well-Known Member

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    Yes, @Breathe, you get it. And it's not just the "unnecessary" "instances for temptation," although they are that, and the control of his selfish and disrespectful masturbation habit. The psychological effect of "cock control," of the loss of the ability to become erect, is extremely profound to the alpha male, opening him up to the ability to consider the emotional needs of his partner, to participate fully in her arousal and satisfaction, and to accept his own submissiveness and the full breadth of his own sexuality.
     
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  14. Allen1987
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    Allen1987 All for Her

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    I have to say @Breathe ,
    That sounds very familiar. she likes to get me all hot and bothered and just say "It excites me to excite you,
    I like to see your always ready for me."

    I do believe the impact goes both ways when you think of the extra enjoyment she receives with this kind of response. There is a deeper feeling of intimacy that goes beyond the vanilla. I always call it a added dimension.
    As @Breathe says,
    I'm not sure that happens everyone.

    To say it would be negative to stop makes me think the wheels might be turning. You can never underestimate
    what can go on in a women's mind. As @Breathe makes clear is that when it sinks in, watch out! Very happy
    for you, I hope you two continue to develope your own dynamic and blossom.:lock::+1:
     
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  15. harddenial
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    harddenial Member

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    So this desire to talk more about chastity has continued. Today as she relaxed after her orgasms she asked me what folk say about chastity, in particular the various aspects that appeal most to the women. I went through several things and she stopped me at "power exchange". That's the bit I like most she said. This quite surprised me. So I said "you mean like the best orgasms of your life and my satisfaction coming only through your orgasms?" To which she said "Certainly that, and more." I was going to say please go on, but she said "I just wish there was a chastity device that was really aesthetically pleasing as well as efficient. That would improve its appeal even more".
     
  16. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    My kh actually likes the look of my device, it looks like a cross between jewelry and armor
     
  17. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    In fact if i started a chastity device company I think I would call it “chain male”
     
  18. Love&Passion
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    Love&Passion Well-Known Member

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    I only just discovered your journal and I must admit I like it Thanks for sharing great relationship Mrs. & Mr. @harddenial
     
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