Chaiste In Berks???

Discussion in 'Journals and blogs' started by paulsavin1701, Dec 12, 2009.

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  1. paulsavin1701
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    paulsavin1701 Chaste In Berkshire

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    As some of you might know I'm new here!

    I was starting a blog (chasteinberks.wordpress.com) but I'm going to start posting most of my experiences on ChastityMansion.com. I shall leave the blog for summarised updates.

    This is for a number of reasons.
    1. Wordpress for blackberry is slow as 1 legged dog with a limp.
    2. Chastitymansion is an amazingly interactive place. In two days I have had kind and supportive words from a large number of caring people. I never knew such a friendly community would share my kink, and understand that I'm trying to go down the route to make my partner want me in a cuck/slave relationship.

    So basically you can think of the move as selfish on my part because I will get more (some, any) input to my questions. I will recognition for my writing skills, praise and admoration (lol)

    Alternatively (and truthfully), it's an entirely unselfish move as I want to share my life to a wider community, who may find benefit in my words.

    So Hello and welcome to my life.

    I'm married, have 2 kids under 6 and live in west
    berkshire,uk. I love my job and am doing reasonable well. I adore my wife with all my soul and we both know we are soulmates. We are very much in love.

    We went through so much s*it when we first got together that only unfaithfulness could break us up. This would never happen, and I never say never but it's true. I know it in my heart and soul.

    Chastity to me is not about me not trusting myself or being submissing, it's about honouring her.

    Shushy stuff over...

    I've been into chastity since seeing them on some documentry when I was in my early teens.
    I left university in 1990 and I was an early adopter of the internet, surfing with a 14k modem (wow!!!)
    I found out a few resouces about chastity and was amazed and loved the idea and it wasn't just huge rusty medieval things, but they were real comfy and v.expensive.
    I got married in 2000 but didn't feel I could share my interest. Although we did goto Erotica one year (which was mildly uncomfortable) we have lived a very vanilla relationship since. (Just remembered I tried to take her to a cb2000 stand at the end of the show, but she wanted to go home and "didn't get it"
    When the cb2000 came out I did get one from ebay for around 40 quid (bargain). I kept it a secret and only wore it 2-3 times, but as I didn't have a keyholder I sold it again (for around 80 quid)
    I've fantastised about having and wearing one ever since.
    Over the last 6 months my partner and I have had more interesting sex and even experianced a little sub sub/dom fun. She has enjoyed straddling my face and talking dirty about me being constrained in tight locked pants whilst we have sex. Only after I have pleasure her would she release me. I love the scene in "something about mary" when she's sitting there watching tv and his head pops up between her legs!
    We've EVEN spoken about getting a vibrator, so I have secretly bought a couples duo love egg rabbit (from a friends recommendation), and a rabbit premiere (as my partner appeared confused about the whole egg thing). If either of these things scare her off I shall return them in their packaging, unused (boo hoo)
    I love the idea of using a vibrator on her and leaving me hard (caged or otherwise)
    On these points along I see the opportunity of letting me move towards a (very) slightly more submissive role, rather than pushing her towards a slightly more dominant role.
    So....10 days ago I seriously decided to get a cb6000 (see me earlier post to see where I got it from)
    It arrived last monday. I have been wearing it as much as possible, even sleeping with it on. Wearing It to work, working from home with the keys on her keyring (and swapping the keys from one keyring to the next so she always, unknowingly holds them), and even going out for the evening to a work xmas party.
    I have wanted to show her it ever since, however I haven't the guts.

    So that's all about me... And my history... Now it's all about the near past and THE FUTURE...
     
  2. paulsavin1701
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    paulsavin1701 Chaste In Berkshire

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    Last night my wife was going out. Beforehand the kids were watching TV and she wanted a bath.

    I went up to wash her back and plant a few seeds.

    I said I loved her so much and I talked about her coming home and making love - she said she wouldn't be up for it. I told her that nothing would please me more to just pleasure her with my mouth and do all the work.

    She said that no she wouldn't get any effect but I could always masterbate, whilst she was out (I was shocked by that comment)

    I told her that I didn't want to and wouldn't she be excited with the thought of myself "saving herself". She said not really.

    So - oh dear! What's a wanna-be chaiste male to do??

    After she had done I put te device back on like a rocket. I did the ironing and washing up and ate dinner, then got down to watching the "teasing video" with mistress roulette. WOW - that was good... I Wanted to feel how hard I could get in the tube.

    Then I watched a couple of other free sub/dom vids on the net and ....

    Whoops I came, again and again, throbbing and squirting. I hadn't been tugging at my cage. I was just hard inside it.

    I did have my legs tightly closed and wanted release (it's been a mere 2 1/2 days)

    However I have pretty horny and desparate since I made love and have read an awful lot of posts so I can only think this is a one off....

    Anyway, unless I tell her this weekend (unlikely) I will be free till Monday am-probably good as my balls are a little sore from the early pinching, ring changes and playing with POI.

    So questions questions questions.

    * Should I worry about cuming with no fiddling whilst caged? I was on the middle ring with smallest spacer.
    * Can you recommend a cream to aid healing of scratched scotum. I was thinking E45.
    * I'm taking my partner upto london next week for a meal and show. We'll have a few hours to kill so I may try to take her to the sex shop Harmony at 103 oxford street. Can anyone recommend this shop to generally open her eyes to "adult toys". I was hoping it would be like AnnSummers on steriods, but helpful and not scarey. It may also get her in the mood, especially if they have a display of cb's.
    * if I do tell her about my cb, should I wear it at the time?

    Hopefully you all know me enough by now. I think this forum is amazing, such genuine people. Thankyou for you support and patience.

    Hugs

    J (paul is my Pseudonym)
    X
     
  3. cockislocked
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    cockislocked Senior Member

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    Tell her straight

    Hi Buddy,

    How did you sleep in the same bed and she not know you had a device on? I appreciate your dilema... I am recently married and I approached this with my partner in a way that builds up slowly. First off we started with what we now know to be a female led relationship (FLR). THe FLR nature has allowed us to reach resolution on conflict by allowing me to voice my views and opinions, but letting her have the final decision, this is not about a power swap, but about the way to deal with things, think of it as a company.. being owned 51% 49%, she has the casting vote. This is not a sexual thing in our daily lives. However, we then jointly discovered that we would take this a bit deeper and we did discuss chastity. My feel buddy is that your approach maybe a little off.. I started to ensure that the FLR nature of our marriage meant that I considered her more than myself and ensured that her orgasm and pleasure were primary, this made me feel great. You do say that you have offered this to her, don't offer it, do it. Next time you make love server her and give her an orgasm but don't expect to come or be inside her. Tell her you feel great having pleasured her. Then tell her that you feel you should only come when she thinks you should... see if she 'gets that' and then build up to the device...

    I am certainly no expert on this, but my wife now sees that my behaviour has improved massively, I am so much more considerate to her, she has now read many books and we have discovred that whilst before I was wearing my cage when away on business, in fact we both get so much more if I wear it 24/7.
    I hope she soon understands what a gift you are offering to her and what a privilige she has in having a man like you that wants to give such a gift.

    I wish you much luck.
     
  4. paulsavin1701
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    paulsavin1701 Chaste In Berkshire

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    Firstly, I was replying to this earlier and got an IM from someone - i didn't get a chance to read who it was and we only started chatting ever so briefly. I had to leave quickly because my 2 1/2 yr old daughter was scratched by one of my cats (just next to the eye). I had to leave and shutdown and I hope that whoever it was wasn't offended by my quick departure.

    As it happens, my daughter is fine, and my cat will be sleeping in the cold tonight! She's a really placid cat and it's a surprise to us - off day I expect.

    Anyway.... back to my reply.

    Hi there "cockislocked"...

    Thanks for the message. Sleeping locked next to my partner who doesn't know was obviously a risk, but all the same "interesting". I knew that it was unlikely she would get "amourous" during the night and as long as I were to wake when my 2 1/2 yr old daughter did, I would be fine as it would have been seen as a lie in. My daughter always wakes around 6:30, so we always take it in turns to do lie ins.

    There is little I would like more than to have non-penetrative sex with my wife and leave myself orgasm free, or at least for a while. It's something I have fantasised about. However my wife is always eager for me to make her cum orally (once or twice), then cum inside her.

    I have tried to keep her on the edge for a while and perform slow tantric tasks but she's very impatient and wants me to penetrate her. Perhaps that's the first problem we have - sex is too "quickie" orientated and done the way she wants to - which is fumble then inny-outy!

    After having to "vocalise" my thoughts I'm slowly thinking that perhaps I'm taking this entirely the wrong way. Although you're right and I should go out and tell her, perhaps I need to work out a strategy....

    1. Introduce Long sessions, rather than inny-outy sex.
    2. Introduce "vocal" foreplay - she's purchased an erotic book for christmas which she would like to me read. She has expressed an interest in me reading it whilst she uses a vibrator (which I have recently purchased)
    3. (the biggy) Express the interest that I would like to pleasure her without her considering my own pleasure.
    4. (the final stage) Introduce the chastity device...

    In any case this is evolving mentality. I still want to go on this journey with me, it may take more time than I thought...

    Hugs
    J
     
  5. madamsboy
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    madamsboy Looking for a special female

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    I remember surfing the internet (not web) on my portable computer with dual floppies (no hard drive) and a 2400 baud internal modem. Usenet groups with porn.
     
  6. paulsavin1701
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    paulsavin1701 Chaste In Berkshire

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    Well all. I got away with it again. I slept locked up, and unknown. We're having an "early night" tonight. I really want to tell her. I think a massage and a cuddle and a talk will be beneficial to us both.

    My question still stands - should I be wearing it at the time. I have a nice leather thong under which it hides very nicely. Unless I rub up against her she wont know I have the CB on. If I tell her that it's all about pleasuring her tonight I can give her a cuddle, a massage (normal and intimate) and once I have made her come with my fingers and my mouth then perhaps I can tell her that I and hard and locked up....

    Or I could go down the route of not being locked up, doing the same and telling her I am not interested in my pleasure and see how the conversation takes us....

    Oh - so many dilemas. I'll let you all know how it proceeds.

    Love
    x
     
  7. cockislocked
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    cockislocked Senior Member

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    I have a question for you... Is the chasity something to fulfil you, or her? I guess what I am saying is that if you want to please and serve her, then if she doesn't want you in a device, that is the way it should be? It makes her happy, therefore you are happy?

    My wife wants me in the device and I want to be there so I guess best of both worlds, I do appreciate that I am lucky! However, if she wanted me to stop I would in a heartbeat. If you think about it, wedding vows are actually a form of mental chastity. (a bit of a stretch.. its about fidelity not denial I know..) You are promising only to make love to that one woman, your orgasms are for her control alone. So, if you are wearing the device to surpress your orgasms, is that for you, or for her? If she doesn't want that, serve her the way she wants! Because you could just pleasure her and not orgasm - same result as being locked up, you deny yourself rather than have the KH have the responsibility?

    A further question(s), I am approaching this from a female led relationship, I'm not submissive in the way that is normally talked about in BDSM, but I am defferent to my wife, what is your view? Are you looking to enage in a FLR? Have a look at http://www.tickleberry.co.uk/after-dark/chastity/ . The site is written by women and is very unthreatening - this is how my wife started to understand chastity and what it would mean in a loving relationship.
     
  8. paulsavin1701
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    paulsavin1701 Chaste In Berkshire

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    It's great these forums. I've been thinking about chastity for years. The kink for me is not having control of my own orgasm - so I'm definitely subservient. I don't want a fully FLR, but certainly I would in the bedroom, but we don't want the whips and chains and all the stuff which most people relate to in a BDSM relationship (although to be honest I would rather like to be tied up).

    I think if I'm truely honest (and this is as I think and read more). I want a sexual relationship which is a little more than vanilla. My wife has begun to express an interest in "forcing" me to service her, to me being denied MY orgasm is an extension of this. Chastity is an extension of that.

    In essence I want to be chastity 24/7 (ish), however I do want to have orgasmic sex with my wife, I just want to have my orgasms controlled in such a way that I can't have them without her say so or without her being there (i.e. the key)

    She rather likes the idea that I pleasure myself when I'm away on business, and think about her. However I would like the opportunity that I CANNOT pleasure myself and she knows it.

    I would like to be home in front of the telly and she say "how are you feeling down there", knowing that I'm hard and can't do anything.

    So, in answer to your question, the chastity thing is for me. DEFINATELY to fulfil me, but I think it's something I can give her, and inevitably something we can share.

    Sorry If my thoughts sort of contradict themselves. Talking to people about my innermost thoughts (sexually) is something I have never done. I can't tell you how helpful it is for me.

    x
    J
     
  9. cockislocked
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    cockislocked Senior Member

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    Ok, so thats a bit clearer... If she has expressed an interest in forcing you to service/serve her, then she seems to have some elements of what you may need. My advice, for what it is worth... Get her to read a few articles and books on the subject of female authroity, buy her one of, if not all of the follwoing books, hey its Christmas right? (see bottom of post) SLOWLY introduce the ideas... if she learns what its all about at her speed and pace and makes her own conclusions... you never know. There is a book called 'Female Domination - an exploration of the male desire for loving female authority' by Elise Sutton. My wife read this and it helped her a lot to understand the psychology of it all. It covers way more than Chastity, also Jay Wisemans SM 101 is a good book, but is more aimed at full lifestyle BDSM, which we are not into, but elements of the book are very useful, especially if you want to play with bondage. Obviously I don't know her or you, but it would seem that you need to develop the 'female superior' bit and let her tie you or do some form of submission and forced service of her. Do you want her to be your Mistress? Try a few Dom/sub games? See if she likes it. If I'm being to intrusive, apologies in advance.

    Book list
    Female Domination - Elise Sutton
    SM101 - Jay Wiseman
    Male Chastity a guide for Key Holders - Lucy Fairbourne
     
  10. madamsboy
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    madamsboy Looking for a special female

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    I do not recommend wearing it when you have the talk with her. Have it in a box somewhere until after the conversation.
     
  11. paulsavin1701
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    paulsavin1701 Chaste In Berkshire

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    I've had a lot to think about since getting the CB6000 last week.

    I don't think my wife is ready to hear the intention of being locked up for her enjoyment - at least not yet. And I don't think I am either.

    Apologies if I sound like a chicken, but the most important part of any relationship, whether a FLR or otherwise is pleasing your partner; physically, emotionally and spiritually.

    As I may have said in my earlier posts, we have a fairly vanilla sex life. She has always known that I am a natural submissive in the bedroom, and that I love the idea of being tied up or told to service her. This happens incredibly rarely, however more recently she has allowed me to service her from below (i.e. she straddles me over my face).

    We haven't ever tried using vibrators and have only just started "talking dirty", so announcement of a locked on device may require a few more months!

    Chastity is my long term goal and I'm sure she will accept and enjoy the idea, but she would just not be ready for it yet.

    Everyone I've spoken to on "chastitymansion" has been amazingly supportive and the posts are more than thought provoking. I have found a place where I can read about peoples experience of FLRs and chastity and participate in such discussions. I also (more importantly) have a new source of friends.

    I will also refrain from wearing my device secretly overnight, however on occasion I may dust off Th CB6000 when I go away on business; I will still need to practice wearing the device, just to know exactly the right size of rings and spacers, so that I am prepared for the time when my wife and I decide to take the first step of "fun chastity". I have every confidence that this will happen in the next few months.

    So - this is me signing off for now as someone actively thinking about telling his wife in the near future.

    I will not become a lurker. I will continue to post updates about my journey into chastity because I am confident that it will happen.

    Thank you all and I'll be in touch.

    X
    J
     
  12. cockislocked
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    cockislocked Senior Member

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    Good for you and most importnantly good luck!
     
  13. paulsavin1701
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    paulsavin1701 Chaste In Berkshire

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    Update to My Chastity experience

    Well, not much has happened since my last post, except that I'm continuing to wear my CB6000 on a almost daily basis. I have spend the odd night too when I think my wife wouldn't notice - even though I said I wouldn't.

    Anyway - a couple of times when I have been reading the forums I have involentarily cum. Therefore I've just forked out on the CB6000s. I thought I would try that too...

    Now - this is the important bit. I have said my wife is vanilla, however she asked me the other night if I have bought her a special christmas pressie. She's talking about a vibrator. She's really, really excited about it.

    So - I think New Years Eve - we will be exchanging "special gifts" whilst the kids are in bed and there's no other family around.

    I think this may be the opportunity to talk about my love and dreams of simple "submission"... I can't wait.

    XXX

    J
     
  14. Mistress Watchful
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    Mistress Watchful Dont believe the hype ;oP

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    paul, it sounds like things are definitely going in the right direction.

    I'm pretty sure if you bide your time and do everything you can to help her realise her fantasies (like the exciting world of vibrators! Mmmmm... :heart:) then I'm sure she will be more receptive to your ideas.
     
  15. paulsavin1701
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    paulsavin1701 Chaste In Berkshire

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    I don't expect that it will be the time I will actually tell her that I want to wear a CB, however it will be an opportunity to sow the seed.

    I think it's going to be a very happy new year. (and from the looks of it a white christmas too!)
     
  16. paulsavin1701
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    paulsavin1701 Chaste In Berkshire

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    Just a quick update. I showed my wife the CB6000 last night. She wasn't too impressed (understatement) because I hadn't spoken to her about my "dream" beforehand and in the past she had found things that I had accidently left out (like a butt plug)... However after a long and emmotional chat... followed by a long silence... left overs of the previous nights Indian Takeaway... followed by a long silence... and a nights sleep.... and a chat this morning whilst the kids were demolishing the kitchen whilst painting.... it looks as though she's willing to accept the concept and we'll look at it at a later date...

    I told her about the fact that I don't like masterbating because even though I enjoy it I wish I could hold back and save my "lust" for her!

    She even said (sorry about the paraphrasing) - "if I had told her, and we had "researched it together" she thinks that she would have been amazingly turned on by the concept, and she might have been cumming all over me without letting me out"....

    So, it certainly looks like the next few months will be more than interesting.

    Hugs and a very happy new year.

    XXX
     
  17. paulsavin1701
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    paulsavin1701 Chaste In Berkshire

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    Sorry about the briefity of the past post. Just having to go to a new years eve party with the wife and kids. Would prefer to stay at home with a glass of bubbly and a cuddle.

    I really love my wife....
     
  18. cockislocked
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    cockislocked Senior Member

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    PAul, glad it seems OK for you Happy New Year.
     
  19. chastitylover_alex
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    chastitylover_alex Junior Member

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    ohhh paul souns like things are going to move in the right direction over the cumming months hehe going by the comment you post that your wife said. wait for her to bring up the subject again and then suggest researching 'chastity in a marrage' together online and it sounds like you'll soon be in the category 'be careful what you wish for'.....lol
     
  20. paulsavin1701
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    paulsavin1701 Chaste In Berkshire

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    ...be careful what you wish for

    WARNING - BIG UPDATE POST

    Wow.... The tag of this forum is

    "... be Careful what you wish for"

    Story so far.
    I have lived in a beautiful, loving vanilla relationship for 13 years - married for almost 10.
    My wife has always known I have been a little kinkier than her and she's found a few things about the house which have upset her and thought I was a little gay (rubber, cock rings).
    Last few months we've been talking dirty in the bedroom, but not doing anything further than oral and normal sex.
    Bought her a vibrator for xmas.
    Bought myself a CB6000s for xmas. She was NOT happy in the slightest, because I hadn't discussed it with her, but after I explained it to her and told her I regretted all the things she had found before and that I didn't want secrets and I wanted to tell her about "this" she calmed down.
    When I told her that I wanted to honour her by wearing it, she was quite touched.

    But she hasn't seen it worn. And we haven't made love since my "coming out"....

    So the story continues....​

    Update NOW.... This is 100% true - not fiction and less than 12 hours old..

    On Saturday night we were going to have sex... we didn't have sex and she said well have it tomorrow... I went to bed horny as hell.

    On Sunday night we were going to have sex... I had given my wife the day off (i.e. I looked after the kids, let her read her book whilst I played xbox)... She had a lovely day, but valued her personal time and at the end of the day just wanted to sleep... we didn't have sex but would have sex tomorrow. I went to bed even hornier and when she slept I locked the device on. I slept comfortably.

    Last night, whilst tidying the plates away after dinner she lifted her dressing gown and she was wearing her sexy see-thru top (gets me going every time). She told me we were definitely going to have sex tonight. I quickly tidied stuff away and after watching a little more telly we retired to the bedroom.

    In bed we started getting amorous, but I stopped her and asked her whether she would like to talk about our special Christmas Purchases (a vibrating egg and rabbit). She said that the vibrators were something she wanted to experiment with herself and I probably wouldn't get a look in until she was confident with them. She would [possibly] play with them when I was next away.

    I asked her about "MY" special purchase (a CB6000s which she - at the time - wasn't too happy about). She said she wasn't [at the present time] interested in seeing it and certainly not interested in seeing me in it. She didn't want to talk about as she just wanted sex.

    Although Im an open book when looking at the emotion on my face, I'm really bad at letting my feelings visualise themselves (however writing them is amazingly easy for me). I will say "I'm fine" although I'm screaming with anguish. So, obviously I was a little upset by this. She noticed my face drop and said that if I wanted to talk about it I could.

    Normally the comment "if I wanted" would mean "can we PLEASE not talk about it", but this is something I wanted / needed to get off my chest... so I asked her what she thought about it......

    She said she wasn't interested in pre-planned sex, the sort of sex where we put it on, cuddle, take it off then "do it".

    I explained that I could put it on and between those times of locking and unlocking it, she would know that I would have been unable to touch myself. I explained the device was for "longish" term not just for sex.

    I explained you could sleep, wee, poo, wash in it. She was surprised!

    She went Urgh

    I continued to explain that it was perfectly easy to clean and keep clean in it. She asked what I wouldn't be able to do whilst wearing it. I explained very little. I explained that although I could get hard, I could do very little about it. I would be unable to touch myself or masturbate.

    She asked could I cum in it. I said possibly, if I was REALLY, REALLY, REALLY excited, but that was the precisely the point, I didn't want to cum whilst wearing it. I told her that I didnt believe that I had gone more than three days without masturbating since I was around 14! I wanted to save myself for her.

    At this point she surprised me again and how much she had understood. She said ...

    "by saving myself for longer my feelings and sensations would be stronger!!!

    YES - BLOODLY HELL - YES

    She said she didn't want to start a day saying "lets make love tonight" and lock the device on in anticipation. This sort of anticipation has always put the pressure during the day and led to a tense day when at the end of the day we dont have sex at all!!! Then it would be even more of a killer having to take the device all off again.

    I told her I could put it on and wear it, and if we didnt have sex I could keep it on until we did! At this point her beautiful eyebrows rose...

    She told me it sounded like it was still something very much for ME. It was my kink and there was very little in it for her. For my wife, the highlight of our sex life is me going inside of her! If I was locked up, it would mean that either we wouldnt have penetrative sex (which she loves) or we would have to unlock and take off the device, ruining the moment.

    I told her I wasn't interested in a 24/7 always locked up, subservient slave who was made to do everything in the household. I told her I wanted to have full blown penetrative sex with her. I told her that I was more than happy to remove the device before going to bed... BUT I wanted her to know that I wanted to "Honour" her very existence by not expecting full blown orgasm. I wanted to experience having sex with her and NOT being allowed to cum inside of her.

    She told me that if I just wanted her to be more selfish in bed, I could always be told to pleasure her as much as she would like and THEN go inside her. She just wouldn't go down on me... At this point it's worth reminding people that I LOVE giving my wife oral sex. It's not that I prefer it to penetrative sex, its just that the whole concept of me cuddling her and "tickling" her until she cums and cums and cums makes me so horny.

    She told me that if I wore the device she would want to know about it and would feel as though I expected her to tease me during the duration of wearing it. I explained that although that scenerio would/could be fun, it wasn't about that. I was not expecting any role reversal. I just wanted to be able to be in a secret Bondage Cuddle whenever I (or she) wanted me to be in it.


    She asked me if I had worn it during the day. I said yes.
    She asked me if I had slept in it already. I said yes.
    I asked her if after having sex (hoping that we still would) could I wear it tonight.... She Said YES

    deep breath

    She understood.
    She was interested.
    She was not in the slightest bit scared or intimidated.
    She knew that it wasn't about role reversal or lack of masculinity or lack of interest in penetrative sex.
    She knew that this was about fun, but also about honour.​

    We then had sex. Mind blowing sex. I touched her and licked her over and though the see-thru top. I opened her legs and although she touched me, I moved myself away. I made her cum and I rubbed myself against her, without entering her.

    She then started talking.... Fantasising... About how we could send the kids away. We could play all weekend. We could lock it on and I would make her cum and cum. I would be forced to use the vibrators, yet be still locked up. We could buy a dirty film and watch that and I would be locked up, or worse I would be unlocked but I would have my hands tied.

    She asked me what I would like to do, see. I told her we could watch the film and she could keep me at the edge and then lock me back in the device without cuming. Later she could use me as she wanted.

    We talked, shouted, fantasised and eventually I came inside her.... and came... and came.

    We hugged. We cuddled. Whilst calming down we talked about crap such as school and holidays whilst our nerve endings fired off random responses in our brains and eventually returned to normality and logic.

    We had fun. We had loved.

    Shortly afterwards I showered (I was sticky to say the least). I reminded her that of the earlier request.

    "Could I wear the device after we had made love"
    She said "No". She wanted to cuddle and not feel a plastic thing in her back
    I explained I had cuddled her in bed whilst wearing it and she had NEVER felt it. I said I really wanted to wear it.
    She said "Yes".

    WOW

    We read our books and cuddled and drunk port and read and cuddled and kissed and eventually turned our lights off and went to sleep.
    And slept.
    Happy.
    Content.
    Amazed.

    The next morning
    I awoke in the night and had to put a bit of lube on the ring, but continued to sleep happily until 7am when my daughter awoke. I took her downstairs and watched TV for a while. My other daughter woke soon after and joined us.
    Around 7:45 my wife joined us and came up to me.
    She kissed me.
    She said she loved me.
    She asked me if I had slept all right.
    She reached underneath my dressing gown and she touched me in the device.

    NOW
    I sit here on my laptop. I have f**k loads of work to do, yet I needed to get this down on the forum. I have no idea where this will lead, but it's somewhere wonderful.

    I will wear the device as much as possible, unless she asks me to remove it. I genuinely do not think that she'll mind. I would like to give her the key to hide, but that'll take time. I've waited this long....

    PLANS - Next week....
    For one night next week Im away on business trip. I will leave her the key somewhere where she will find it early in the morning once I have left the house - perhaps a little gift with it. She will know / or assume I am wearing the device.
    I hope that once she's put the kids to bed and shell call me and tease me. Perhaps she'll try using the vibrators and let me know how good they are. I will be unable to do anything except tell her how much I love her.

    PLANS - Week after next....
    Im away on business to Europe for two nights. If she wants me to, I may wear the device, with a KH tag (can't use the lock!). I will discuss it with her. I want her to know my commitment and that I can wear it if she (and I) wants.

    PLANS - The future....

    I think over the coming weeks I'll be looking out for magpies, black cats and I'll refrain from walking under ladders - just in case.....

    and Ill certainly be careful what I wish for...

    Hugs (or Bondage Cuddles)

    Forever

    x
     
  21. Hagan
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    Hagan unconstrained Member

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    Thanks for posting that Paul, that is truly inspirational for me and I will certainly try to use some of the things you said to your wife about it being about being devoted to her when I try and explain chastity to my partner
     
  22. xcitex2
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    xcitex2 Back from the past!

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    Paul one thing you mentioned earlier made me sit up and take notice. When I first presented this idea to my wife she acted much like any normal wife would, just like yours, and did not see the reason for it. As we began to play around with it, more on a dare than anything else, the one thing she brought up was the same objection your wife brought up. she wants penetrative sex and that is how she gets fulfilled. While I certainly understand the tease and denial aspects and how much they intensify things make sure to honor this request of hers for now. What has become the purpose of our lifestyle now is that I am locked until she wants sex and that is my release, period. Afterwards I am back in and kept that way so that I can build up that intense level of desire for her. what happens then, hopefully, as your wife witnesses this desire building she may, like my wife, get the sense of how the teasing can take it to the next level. Unfortunately for us we started on the tease and denial aspects I and fear I tried too quickly to push the participation level on her end. Now my wife will take a night to keep mu fully secured and make me use a vibrator on her. Thanks for sharing your journey, and forgive me if I in anyway butted in here, I only recognized the very same objection we had to face and it just jumped out at me. Take care
     
  23. paulsavin1701
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    paulsavin1701 Chaste In Berkshire

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    I completely agree. Our vanilla sex life ( of oral and penetrative sex) is fantastic. My device will under no way shape or form get in the wayside of penetrative sex.

    However I truely believe that it will open the door to playing with each other and enjoying each other's bodies, rather than a simple ...

    fumble ... grope ... lick ... inny-outy ... urgh! sleep......

    I am expecting a journey... We may not go as far as perhaps some people on this forum have gone, but we'll go somewhere and we'll learn even more about each other's hopes, dreams, fantasies and our love will only get stronger.
     
  24. SUTTONSEEDS
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    SUTTONSEEDS Member

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    It sound like your expectations are similar to my own, I just want it, ultimately to be fun, yes to be challenging , but not to become the be all, and end all, of our relationship, I was quite lucky with regard my partners acceptance of the whole thing, and by reading many journals, I can see, this isn’t always the case, But what im finding is that this acceptance, may have just been indifference, which may lead to problems, as at the moment her possible ‘indifference’ is leaving me with feelings of resentment, and slight boredom, Im at a crossroads. Hope yours pans out for you both, it does seem that your partner is warming to it.
     
  25. Celtic Queen
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    Celtic Queen Senior Member

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    Hello all, I havent posted before but I have read your journey Paul with interest as my husband and I have been going through a similar experience and thought you might find the female perspective helpful. When my husband first brought the subject up of "service", I was intrigued, puzzled, apprehensive and very unsure of where this would all lead. He has never been in a submissive role before -he says I have brought it out in him as I am a strong alpha female - in life not just in the bedroom and we have spent a lot of time communicating and experimenting as this power play was something I hadn't done before either. Some stuff has worked well for us and other things were tried and then abandoned but the key was to talk it through, understand how we both feel and then move on from there. It's made us very close and given us a full and very varied sex life as well as strengthening our relationship over all.

    It was I that bought the chasity cage for him - more as a toy initially because it does look really butch and aggressive - and he loves it and says that wearing it makes him feel safe, owned and under my control. Personally I think the CB devices, whilst obviously functional, are not that sexy looking and I love the way he looks in his cage (the rattling of the padlock amuses me greatly too!). I'd really recommend getting your wife to look at www.Tickleberry.com and all the lovely stainless steel toys that she can "dress you up in". Appeal to her good taste rather than buy yourself a device - you may enjoy what she finds even more than the device you chose yourself and who knows where it could lead! The site is written by women, for women and you can only benefit from her exploring these new ideas for herself (trust me on this!!)

    We did try 24 x7 caging but I didn't like it as it made sex rather contrived and unspontaenious and I imagine that's what your wife was expressing. Hubbie is away on business regularly and I always cage him before he goes as well as on the occaisional whim. It isnt that I dont trust him, I just like the idea of a constant reminder of my sexual control over him - like my hand cupping him even from many miles away = you may want to see if that concept appeals to your wife. In my view, marriage is all about chastity and so many problems could be avoided if, after exchanging rings, men handed over the keys to their devices :)

    Celt x
     
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