Can you train a guy to be more romantic?

Hi everyone, thanks so much for all the feedback, I read it all and used some of the advises last weekend, and it went well!!! We end up pretty excited about each other, and didn't end up fighting. Awesome. Good memories.

I have invited her to concert, a band she wanted to see, I scheduled it couple months ago. We went to see UB40 in Minneapolis about 5hrs away from where we live. I arranged child care for the weekend with our friends. Concert was great, and she loved it. I liked it too.

As per some recommendations, I have relaxed about the money, about doing too much, giving extra time, not trying to do too much, and lowering expectations, and doing small things that may be romantic for her.

As we were driving, I told her that I am afraid to fight and to have too high expectations for the weekend, which could spoil it. We discussed how it happened before. We discussed how we want to have future romantic times. So we agreed that we are going to only expect to have horrible time, and fight, and we don't want to see each other smile. That brought laughter for both of us. In another words, we said lest just have fun, do what feels good and not worry if everything doesn't go perfectly the we envisioned.

I asked her to book the hotel night, so she doesn't blame me later. She booked good deal with Jacuzzi and pool. OK, cool. We went to Jacuzzi three times.

I told her that I would love to go with her to BDSM munch and some kinky stores, since these are things we used to do before we got a kid. She agreed. She told me that she would like to go to movies and maybe to shopping mall. We end up doing munch, but didn't get time to go to movie before concert, because we got busy on Saturday morning...

We had sex about four times!!! Twice more than our week long honeymoon more than 10 years ago in Hawaii. First night she had me lick her and fuck her, bring her to climax, but I got only edging. Felt asleep cuddling and feeling good. Next morning she asked me to wear chastity. Awesome! She asked me to lick her and finger her until climax. Than she tied me up to ottoman in the room, and gagged me, and fucked my ass. I was in heaven. I didn't get to fuck. My expectations were set very low before our game, something we do now before each kinky session.

We relaxed in Jacuzzi and went for nice lunch and shopping for kinky clothes. She tried corsets, and we got one.

Concert was great, and we gave plenty of time to arrive there beforehand, to get good parking. She was nervous we will be late. I let go of nice dinner, and we just ate hod dogs at the venue. After concert (10 p.m.) I suggested we go to gay bar dancing, but she said that she wanted to go back to hotel. I could have pushed, but I have learned that it could be a problem for us so I let go... and she wanted sex again in the hotel, and let me edge twice inside her, it was blissful edging, looking into her eyes... she seemed happy.

I think, she is really starting to enjoy control my orgasms, and enjoy hers without mine.

Next morning, we had sex again, and this time she let me come. I think she felt the pressure of me wanting the release. I wish I would have told her it was OK if I didn't get to come. It didn't feel all that great, I wish I would stay horny. He orgasm wasn't that great, I think I came too fast.

We went to Jacuzzi last time, and because we were tight on time, we ate at Jimmy John's sandwich in a car on the way back.

I got her a flower at a gas station, and she liked it.
She likes I tell her... I did this for you, because I love you.

It looks we both of us got something we enjoy.
So thanks again everyone.
Rabbit

 

Good question. Opposites maybe attract. Dominant attracts submissive, gentle attracts rough... who knows. We have been through 8 years of kinky games, where my wife didn't feel satisfied, than we did 8 years of no kinky games, where I didnt' feel satisfied. Now we are doing both, which is better for both of us.

few years ago she told me (about the BDSM kinky games). I think I got over it, and you still didn't grow out of it. I asked her about this statement last weekend, and she said, not at all, she still likes it, and it is big part of her, but she feels some shame around it, and she felt for many years bad about herself because I was topping from the bottom and had too high expectations. She is starting to enjoy it again.

We love each other, we want the family to stay together, so we are learning how help each other to be happy, eventhough we are different and have lots of incompabilities. Three years after affair, and our relationship is deeper than probably ever before. We sure have better sex than ever before.