Can submissive men in chastity be leaders?

I am in a leadership role in my career, and I have no problem separating these domains. That's not to say I don't think about it similar to the way you do after work, but while I'm working I'm doing only that and not thinking about sex or submission or chastity.

 

As a submissive I like to champion causes, organisations and ideas. So as long as I am championing, I can lead.

 

I'll be dating when I mention that I used to be active on Usenet (newsgroups) a long time ago, but in one particular group there was a woman who was a fairly outspoken member, who had this wonderful quote in her sig line (the signature text block):

Wearing a hunk of stainless on my tonker doesn't make me a doormat, nor does it make me submissive to *every other woman* I meet. It just means that my wife and I enjoy some kinky play *with each other.*

Yes, I'm pleasant and helpful, and her friends remark that she has a nice husband, but I already had those qualities.

However, if you are a female supremacist, then it's quite possible that you can't resolve this issue with regard to work. You could always resign your position and recommend a woman be hired in your place.

 

Noone at my company (one of the largest in the world) holds my key.

 

The common image of a submissive man being a crossdressing sissy and under the thumb of all women is a corny, laughable stereotype. A lot of guys buy into it when thinking with their 'wrong head', but like many stereotypes, it's not workable in reality. Nor are many of the men on this site (or elsewhere) misogynists who play 'dress-up' just to get more sex. The vast majority are typical guys; they love their wife or girlfriend, they're good dads, they have a job where they interact with other men & women, and so on.

I'm sexually submissive, but also an opinionated SOB, as many old-timers here can vouch for. The way I act in the non-sexual elements of my life have little relation to my feelings of enjoying chastity in private. Maybe the OP needs to consider how better to compartmentalize these areas, so his sexual life remains separate from his professional life. As it would be wrong to define women purely on the basis of their appearance, so it would be equally wrong to define a man purely on the basis of his sexual choices or preferences. When I'm out and about, I tend to forget about my locked little dick; it's not relevant when I'm paying a teenage girl for my groceries.

 

I am definitely a bit more submissive overall when locked full time, and denied. Having said that.....I am submissive to my keyholder, because that's our dynamic. When I am better informed, or more capable, she lets me be in charge in those instances, but she has the final vote. The thing is that she knows what she knows, and what she doesn't know. Sexually, and kink wise, she is fully in charge. In daily life, she is in charge (when we are on our own time) and I fulfill a role somewhat like a butler.

With my wife, we are equals. That's our dynamic there. She makes more than I do, and I do the cooking at home, but that's part of respecting the equality of women.

In my many years of kink life, Ive generally been a switch, and have had female subs, although there, I have always preferred strong subs. That was our dynamic. Dynamics for me, are on an individual basis. I believe in equality of the sexes, and the roles are determined by the chemistry, and/or quality of the person.

I get where you are coming from. We practice a fairly strict, and emasculating form of chastity, and that definitely has changed my personal sexual identity. I am less Toppy, and less likely to disagree with the women in my life, and that does carry over to some degree to my outside life. I don't have any belief in no questions asked female superiority, or lack of self esteem however.

 

Chastity play and being submissive in my private activities has no bearing on my public/professional life. I have run organizations, done talks in front of hundreds, and made far reaching decisions while locked; and never did my sick being caged or my preference for being in bondage in the bedroom ever enter into consideration.

My personal belief is that if a man is tasked with taking care of his family or significant other, submissive or not, he should do what needs to be done. Even a submissive should set aside their desires and sexual based preferences to do what is expected, whether it involved being authoritative over a female or following the direction of a female.

 

If you are of the mind set that women are "superior" and you should simply "obey" them in the workplace you are doing a disservice to your company and its stakeholders.

If job responsibilities include the hiring/firing/promotion of others, then you can not include your personal biases in those decisions. Let's look at that sentence with some different words:

If I feel like a white supremacist, can I reasonably promote a talented black over less talented white options?

That sure sounds pretty disgusting to me, hurtful, bigoted. Why should "female" supremacy be any different. If you want to lock up your dick because your girlfriend makes fun of it, that's fine. If you want to live in a FLR, that's fine too. Just don't bring it into the workplace.

 

I suffer from gender dysphoria and spent the better part of three years in a chastity device. A combination which definitely does not scream “macho”. And really I have no desire to be seen as or feel macho. Yet I am looked up to by many in my professional and private life as a leader. Even people much higher up the totem pole than me in my company come to me for advice.

I have always been two things: a natural leader, and reluctant. I don’t see myself as a leader. I really don’t even like thinking about myself that way. I feel like I am a mess. And yet people follow me and I tend to make good decisions and give good direction. I am a reluctant leader.

I have seen posts on here before that suggest that many men in high pressure professional positions with lots of responsibilities find submitting to somebody they trust very relieving. It’s a safe way to escape from the pressures of the alpha male expectations that everyone has. It’s a safe way to let at least one thing go and not have to be in control of: sex.

 

I would think a submissive could enjoy being in the position of presenting something inadequate, feeling humiliated about that, and being smirked at. Why not? Sounds kind of fun.

 

I'm openly trans female so it may be a bit different for me. But I'm our the team-lead and technical lead for my software team. I have no issues separating submissiveness in my sexual life with leadership at work. Personally I only see things as awkward if you have a crush or sexual desire to someone at work.

Personally I have NO issue separating things out. But I know that can differ for other people.

In terms of your example, in my eyes its all just work dynamics and figuring out the correct solution. With all of this said I work in a VERY healthy and equal environment. I know in other environments dynamics aren't as healthy, and that can pollute the waters on perceptions.

 

For me, there's this fairly frequent thought process or mental discussion I have with myself about these issues. I'm a senior project leader in a firm of professionals and very experience and respected both inside and outside my firm. I'm intensely alpha and the work requires that too. But my boss is female and so are many of the team members I supervise. And I work in chastity.

Yes, as @Billus says, we have to compartmentalize, and I do constantly remind myself of that. And yet as @HeForHer explains in the OP, the thoughts do creep in. I do believe that generally women are better people than men, more thoughtful, more engaged, better team players. And I'm submissive. For me, chastity is more than it is for @Tom Allen, it's more than a kinky game my wife and I play. It's a way to cabin my alpha side, to assist in over-coming toxic masculinity, to get more in touch with my feelings. And that can't be left at home or compartmentalized, it's a part of my evolving personality. Do I remind myself when "Alison" speaks that I want to listen more closely to her? Yes. That doesn't mean she's always right of that "Peter" isn't right, but it does mean that my evolving effort to become a less toxic man, reinforced by a steel cage that is constantly reminding me that I'm not one of those thoughtless dominant males anymore, is actively seeking out the voice of women, wanting to make sure I'm giving them every opportunity.

And then there are the thoughts as I walk the halls, increasingly occupied by younger successful attractive women who are flourishing in my industry. "God she's attractive, I'd love to worship her. I wonder what she'd think if knew how submissive I am. I know she's way too smart and sophisticated for me, I'm so out of her league. If I were her age I'd be her house husband."

That conflict, that need to compartmentalize, between executing my job and being the leader I need to be, while at the same time knowing I'm a submissive man who'd be better off serving these women, can be tiring! By the time I get home I can't wait to kiss my wife's feet.

 

I am in a position of authority. I manage staff, male and female. My immediate boss is male, the two bosses more senior than that are female. It makes no difference. I have submissive tendencies but not at work. Similarly, I am a shy and introverted person by nature, but not at work. It's kind of a uniform you pull on yourself.

 

If as mentioned by the OP you are experiencing ..mixed feelings, conflicts or issues with power dynamics at work then might I suggest you get yourmindset and real life priorities in order.

If you you really are or do feel submissive in regard to your partner why are you confusing those feelings in relation to yourself and other women? Is it not concedivable that your partner would consider such feelings being held by you in relation to other women as a form of infidelity... have you even spoken to her about this to ascertain her views?

Some men claim that by regarding women as being superior to themselves or even men in general they are in some way a little better than the average man, perhaps even as the future of where mankind 's inter gender dynamics might be (or even ought to be) going. If that is the case why is your mind off your work as you are fantasising about being submissive to all female colleagues regardless of their's and your employee status.

There are quite enough issues about sex and sexual harassment in the work place without men using nonconsenting not even consulted or consciously aware women as a part of their fantasies.

If the FD or FLR or even a FLSociety is something that appeals to you or even believe in then you need to start considering what is in your headspace regarding women that you are not in a relationship with that perhaps should not be.

 

I am in a position of authority in my life, I deal with it by submitting to only one woman, my wife/kh, I dont see the need to submit to all women, my wife is my life.

 

Look, I run my own company... and it is 98% female workers... I always give preference to a woman to work for me.... they work better, have less sick days and are more stable people. In my company women get better paid then man and better treatment too.....lol... but anyway I love these feelings of run a all female company, using a chastity belt and by the end of the day surrender myself to my wife..... so... it is 100% possible... it all depends if you want... there is the business man and the is my wife submissive husband....

 

Don't think, one needs to be macho, dominating or pervasive to lead.
Being friendly, witty and sometimes even intelligent helped me more!

 

I am the owner of my company and, at the same time am a caged sissy in a very successful FLR, I have to compartmentalize everything or I would go nuts. I do have to admit that I sometimes have real difficulty not treating some of the women who work for me as my superior. They are powerful, smart and very effective at what they do and I have thought about confiding in a couple of them about how inferior I feel when around them. I cannot do that and maintain control of my company though. Mistress thinks its funny, how confused I get over this issue!

 

Absolutely men in chastity can be leaders. In fact, it reinforces sexual stereotypes to suggest a man can't lead without a functioning dick. That implies that a woman could NEVER lead because she doesn't have a dick.

I can't say what I do, but I am well known in my field nationally. Nothing changed when I went into 24/7 chastity. If anything, I feel better because sex/intimacy with my beautiful wife/KH improved so dramatically.

 

I am submissive to my Wife, not all women. I have met plenty of women who are patently not superior in any shape or form. You meet lots of them on a weekend evening in many a British city. In fact they are a major reason as to why I don’t even live in Britain any more, I intensely dislike that sort of laddish culture.

 

I am much like you I run two companies so I am not submissive at work but to my wife I am hers it is a welcome change from being in charge all the time it has worked well for over 10 years