Cam Whores, Financial Dommes, and other irritations (from a male sub POV)

Discussion in 'Off topic discussions' started by Bratty Boi Chastened, Nov 12, 2018.

  1. Bratty Boi Chastened
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    Bratty Boi Chastened Psychologically getting off by NOT getting off!

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    There is nothing better than your local BDSM and Fetish scene, such as your local Munch, club, fellow local kinksters, local lifestyle Dommes and local Professional Dommes, etc. in real life.

    However, I have in the past been a member of websites, such as Fetlife. And whereas I had the pleasure of communicating with some delightful fellow kinksters in other parts of the UK and further afield, I equally met some truly irritating individuals...

    Cam Whores, Financial Dommes, first timer dommes who fail to realise that respect and trust is a two-way process, and an untold number of female foot profile photos (the female equivalent to penis profile photos)!

    Whereas many male subs can be utterly clueless and tactless (see Lucy's thread), the same can be said of some so called Female Dominants!

    No, I have no interest in seeing yet another photo of a woman's feet!

    No, I will not give you my hard-earned cash, Little Miss Gold Digger!

    No, I have no desire to pay to watch you get your boobies out!

    No, I will not prostrate myself at your feet just because you send me a PM, demanding that all male subs do so. (Earning trust and respect is a two-way process! I have to earn yours but you also have to earn mine.)
     
  2. L-u-c-y
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    Staff Member Owner of Chastity Mansion Administrator Verified Female

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    Very true, but I expect all these things were created by men in the first place.

    For example, when I first joined fetish sites I had loads of men asking me to hold their keys, I just said no. Then they offered me money to do it.

    I've also had thousands offering me money to go on webcam or send them naked photos.

    Plus loads of them are men pretending to be women with a few stolen photos, unfortunately lots of men fall for it as long as they hear what they want to hear.
     
  3. Bratty Boi Chastened
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    Bratty Boi Chastened Psychologically getting off by NOT getting off!

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    Yes, I noticed a few men masquerading behind female photos! Their use of language usually gave them away! :D

    (By the way, does ANY female dominant use the word "Worm"? I don't know of any! Whenever I saw that word, I suspected it was a man! :rolleyes: )
     
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  4. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Long term member

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    That's the nature of the internet, isn't it? There's a lot of not very bright people out there. If you're genuine about exploring your kinks it can be frustrating, but to be honest I wouldn't hold out much hope of finding someone through Fetlife.
     
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  5. Ma’am M
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    Ma’am M Wife/KH of Ma’ams Slut, and the F in our FLR
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    I’m curious to hear if anyone, because of their need to submit to a female, has had experience in being totally taken advantage of—to the point of dysfunction. As in cleared out bank accounts, for example.

    And selling feet seems to be an easy way to market oneself. Simple pictures that don’t have to be revealing, and lots of foot fetishers and attention. I have no interest at all on the matter, but I’m sure the payoff is pretty good.
     
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  6. Jessica Alexander
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    Jessica Alexander Trans woman not a mistress or Dom

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    There are dudes out there buying used panties . I bet those women selling them are disgusted but laughing all the way to the bank. Nature and markets abhor a vacuum.
     
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  7. Guest 3729
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    Guest 3729 Long term member

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    lol it'd be that much worse if it was a dude wearing them and then selling them under the guise of a woman hahaha.
     
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  8. L-u-c-y
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    You'd be surprised how many males love being called a worm :)

    I have used it before when the person has already refereed to themselves as a worm, why not.

    I have had instances where I have commented on their profile and called them a worm because I know they will love it, then a stranger has commented "You are treating these men like shit by calling them worms!". You can't win them all!

    There is always going to be someone who doesn't like it, whatever you do.
     
  9. Living Curious
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    Living Curious Long-term lockee

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    I have no problem with cam girls, findommes, or anything similar. As long as the person isn't trying to mislead people and is upfront that they are offering a service in exchange for monetary compensation, then I have no issue with it.
    What I DO take issue with is findommes coming on sites like this and soliciting male subs without stating upfront their motivations. That is unethical and I abhor it. Every few months I'll get a PM from someone like this and it's annoying, but not really that big a deal.
     
  10. steviepie
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    steviepie inferior and unworthy male

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    I'm so ashamed of my gullibility.
     
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  11. steviepie
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    steviepie inferior and unworthy male

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    I'm guessing I could tell the difference :)
     
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  12. sissyblueballs
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    sissyblueballs Long term member

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    I never got a PM demanding my subservience......I must be doing something wrong. :D
     
  13. Ricscages
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    Ricscages Long term member

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    Here my take on this. I have no problem with these women claiming to be a findom, Mistress, cam-whore willing to sell there services. I just wish they'd tell you that up front instead of wasting my time. You know she tells you for 75.00 I'll send 10 to 25 pictures of me doing nasty things. My answer is the following. Sweetie why I'm I sending you that amount of money to see naked pic of you. When I can just go online and find thousands of pictures for free.
     
  14. L-u-c-y
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    What does selling naked photos have to do with domination?
     
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  15. Breathe
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    Breathe Be true to yourself

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    If we wanted to apply the 'female superiority' factor (which seems so common around this place) one could surmise that female manipulators could be even worse (read: better at it) than their male counterparts.

    I've seen firsthand the toll this can take, although it didn't involve money. Thankfully I found him before he went down a rabbit hole from which he couldn't return. I'll discuss it with you further in private, if you like. But a bit of our story is already out there for further reading.

    I think anyone can get desperate enough to do irresponsible or hurtful things if the void they're trying to fill is large enough - D or s.

    RE: foot marketing. It does seem like a rather easy and lucrative endeavor, doesn't it?
     
  16. L-u-c-y
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    "Female superiority" gets a bad rap for some reason. It's a fetish like any other. Male superiority exists as a fetish, and I'm sure they treat women a lot worse than women do men. But I don't criticise it, each to their own.
     
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  17. Ricscages
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    Ricscages Long term member

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    Nothing just used it as an example of how it could be used in other ways. I have in my own experiences had so called Dom or Mistress want payment in the form of gift cards or for you to hand over bank information in lue of receiving services. Now if she had stated that up front I could said no thank you and moved on. Those lady that say that up front I have no problem with. They were up front with me in there website and if I wanted to contact them I knew what to expect. My complaint is for the one who lead you on. And yes I know it's a two way street. Sorry for the confusion hope I cleared it up for you.
     
  18. Breathe
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    Breathe Be true to yourself

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    Yes. I'd describe female superiority as a fetish, too. :) Glad to hear we agree.

    Fetishes are exquisitely variable among individuals. As such, using them to form boiler-plate expectations can create perplexities - but this activity runs rampant no matter where you turn. On or offline.

    Stereotyping isn't a new endeavor, after all.
     
  19. Ricscages
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    Ricscages Long term member

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    I wasn't trying to disrespect women superiority. But for some reason it's gotten used as a fetish term same as the male version. See I believe most men have dreams, fantasies, desires about being dominated by a woman. Maybe sexually or in the privacy of there private life. That's why I'm exploring this side of the coin I find a dominanting women intriguing, alluring,sexy, smart, intelligent and beautiful. I don't mean to put any woman down. If I said something to offend you or any woman please accept my apology.
     
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  20. dearelliot
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    dearelliot Active member

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    Id like to discuss my thoughts on offering A Dominatrix financial assistance. I wouldn't want to engage in a conversation that is considered off limits here and risk being thrown out, so I want to approach what I say carefully.
    In the past, I had a Mistress who owned a very nice home, with a very well equipped dungeon facility upstairs.
    The cost of purchasing, maintaining the premises as well as the expensive equipment was surely substantial.
    And I don't mind giving her "assistance" in return.
    Now would I have liked to have married a woman with all of the qualities of my wife, while also being a Dominatrix, yes that would have been my first choice, however that didn't happen.
    A long time ago (50 years ago) I married at the age of 24 and had a child, and god knows, I am quite happy that I did, but as I aged into a strong desire for BDSM while alas, my wife did not. ( Please, God Please do not say something stupid like "Well maybe if you only talked to her,")
    Next option had I been born a tall handsome real George Clooney type guy, there may have been more options for me. but again as you guessed I was not.
    So around the age of 35 I started to find that the old in and out wasn't what it had been during my earlier years, and I needed something different to give me pleasure.
    As a man with few options meaning years passing without pleasure, I decided to pursue those sources that provided me with the most pleasure versus what at the time was "No pleasure at all"
    So yes! I have succumbed to being just another man who gets in line with the other men for those women who offer such services. And as you might expect, God yes, I am all ears listening for any advice on alternative opportunities.
    BUT! If You are a man "like me" (Not George Clooney and not married to a Dominatrix) and seek out pleasure through BDSM, but haven't had a partner in years, I suspect your advice may not be helpful to me.

    I have spoken to many many men over the years who express disdain for such ladies and at the same time readily admit to going without, and YES, their advice sounds very hollow to me.
     
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