So I have taken on the vast majority of the chores in the house to make Mrs...... Life easier and her evenings more enjoyable. I have been thinking about taking it up a notch as admittedly my current choice of household chore attire is somewhat scruffy. Taking ideas from CM I asked her if she would prefer me to dress as a Butler or a Maid for my future tasks. She likes the idea and wants me to be her Butler. Interested to hear what you think and what your superior partners would choose for you or even a Doms take on this.
Lovely that you are doing the chores first, and worrying about refining your appearance second! Cautions about dressing as a maid: 1. Most men who dress as maids do very little work, to the point that it's an internet trope. Even if a male maid does work very hard and without drama, he will be fighting a well-entrenched and not altogether undeserved reputation. It can take months or years of high-quality service to break down this reputation. 2. Very few women are really interested in a man being dressed as a maid. (See #1.) Then again, most men are not interested in a woman being dressed as a butler. "Male maid service" is almost universally a male desire, and can be quite psychologically complex. Some women can learn to appreciate it, but very few will initiate it. 3. A common unspoken and very mistaken assumption about the desire to be a male maid is that servile=female. This may be true for some (maybe many? see #1), but there really are some male maids who view the uniform as a great privilege to be earned through impeccable work and behavior. It's amazing to be of value in a role that very few men get to experience. 4. A male maid must understand whether the person he is serving sees this as "subby dressing up" or if the uniform represents a shift in or extension of the power dynamic. A mis-match here can lead to dissatisfaction by all parties. Also, maid and butler duties are different. Best to iron that out (pardon the pun) up front. Men who are attracted to maid service have a LOT of work to do to understand their own internal "why." Then they have a lot of work to do to understand what elements serve their own desires vs. others. Then they have a lot of work to do to help others understand at least some of their "why." Then they have a LOT of work to do to keep their assigned space clean and organized and welcome without drama or other attention seeking. That's a lot of work. Oh, look... I've ranted again.
Thanks for your comprehensive reply. Its not something I have thought of too deeply and this is all part of my mid-life voyage of discovery. You see it came about as we were out having dinner in a restaurant, before going out I slipped on a pair of her panties 1 to see how it felt in public. 2 they do an excellent job of hiding the cage and 3 I was hopeful it may be good reason for a punishment later on for not asking for permission. Whilst at the resteraunt I went to the restroom, took a photo of me in her panties and sent it to her. On returning to the table she seemed to find it funny and it clearly didn't bother her so off the back of that it was a spur of the moment question asked realy to gauge her thoughts on the matter. She clearly wasn't keen on me being a Maid and to be honest I don't think she was fussy about the butler despite choosing that option. My real inner desire is to live under her control, authority and discipline and aim to please her so therfore these two kinks are likely off the table although I will smarten myself up with the chores.
My wife prefers me naked when serving, but if she is entertaining har lady friends also naked or in a tux. She believes only women should wear women’s clothes, slaves are to be naked, and servants in appropriate clothing. Men must be in a tux (I have 2 that are 2nd hand) and when a female slave is present she is in a fancy maid outfit. When naked, I am permitted to wear something on my feet, but that’s all.
It sounds pretty simple. If she wants you as a butler, that's the choice. If you like to dress fem and it's fine with her, then maid it is. Every couple and relationship is unique. A lot of notions about motives, expectations, and desires have no consequences for you. You've already taken on the primary task, doing the work. Appearance is just part of the way to finalize your position.
Speaking as someone who’s wife initiated the maid idea, it wasn’t because she was turned on by me being dressed up. Actually she doesn’t find it attractive and has no female on female fantasies. What did turn her on was my attitude and behavior while doing it. She mentioned it and I said I would give it a try, service was a hard limit when we started so she wasn’t comfortable even bringing it up. When I did it, she loved it. But it wasn’t overtly sexual on her end. She loved seeing me so vulnerable. She loved how doting and pampering I was. She loved the attention and eagerness I showed. She loved the thoughtfulness of my efforts, how sweet and gentle I acted, and how important she was to me. I spent the day cleaning the house, made supper which we ate together, ran her a bath, washed her hair and scrubbed her. Gave her privacy to do whatever it is she does (shave, wash intimate areas), toweled her dry, and gave her a massage, gave her a nice O with my fingers, and did the dishes before heading to bed. She said later that it was the most erotic and best experience she’s ever had. So it’s not so much about what you’re wearing, it’s how you act while wearing it. If you can be that servant and keep the man persona, I’m sure she would find that equally if not more appealing.
Thank you for this and helping me keep this in perspective. This is the reason she has agreed to keep me locked in chastity. I just keep trying to think of new ways to please her. As she mentioned the butler I will get a costume and put it on for her one day but I think this will more likely be a bit of fun for her than the expected norm.
In the end it is what works for you, if your not in to sissy play then being a butler Seams perfect for you!
I prefer maid, she prefers butler and naturally she wins. She likes the idea of me running around the house is nothing but my chastity belt and a bow tie. As hypocritical as this is going to sounds I’m not overly into being a sissy but there was a lot of appeal for me to dress the part when I was doing chores around the house and serving her. I even bought a custom fit pink/white pvc maids uniform and all the accessories. I finally got up the nerve and told her I would like to be her maid around the house. Got shot down big time, she didn’t even want to see the outfit I bought, it went straight into the trash ☹️ Oh well can’t win them all.
French maid uniform here when she wants to see me in action. Otherwise, it's female clothing. Dress, heels, bra etc.
Thanks, that's a good idea. I have a costume idea in mind what do you think? I've seen a pair of pretty cool butler themed boxer shorts with braces, shiny black shoes with black socks and sock holders, white cuffs and cuff links, instead of a bow tie I was going to ask her if she would collar me.
I really like the collar. That sets the tone for sure. You're caged I presume. Personally, I'd go just with the cuffs and links, perhaps a white apron. But no shoes. I'd never wear shoes inside my wife's house. Unless they're heels. Of course, I lean toward maid more than butler.
Yes caged underneath my butler boxers. I have been caged now for about most of the time for nearly two months since we started this. Your right about the shoes good point.
I gotta say.....doing something disrespectful in the hopes of getting a funishment....isn't attractive. You took her underwear hoping to get in trouble. So getting a funishment was more important than respecting your wife's property? Do you see how that comes off?
@Goddess Gaia Thank you for your honest feedback. At the time I didn't think of this as a selfish act clearly I should have given this more thought. It appeared on the night I got away with it or was let off lightly. Unfortunately since then I have made 2 more similar errors of trying to force a situation which on the last one she wasn't impressed with. On reflection I now realise this is what I was doing. At present I realy am being punished right now but in her way which I think the term is locked and forgotten. I don't enjoy this at all, I hate it. She still has control of the key so hopefully the journey isn't over. Obviously being new to this I have a lot to learn.
I think one of the most important things to learn is how your actions affect her. Respecting her is more important than satisfying your kink. don't mess up the foundation of your relationship for a quick thrill.
Yay! A teaching moment on CM where the thread ended thoughtfully and with lessons learned. Hope for the best for both of you.
Do you use both male and female slaves in your lifestyle/household? How does that work, exactly? Are you guys all friends?
its all friends, three couples that have been friends for nearly 30 years. We met during our swinging days, migrated to BDSM, back for a short time to swinging, and then introduced chastity into our BDSM and play time. We were the first couple to experiment with chastity and introduced it to another couple and then in discussion at a BBQ to the third. We have periodic get togethers, more in the summer out by the pool. If one of the ladies is acting as a slave/maid, it is mostly because of a lost bet. This does not happen much because the Superbowl and NCAA tournament is only once a year. Whatever couple is hosting the dinner or the pool party, the husband is the slave servant and even serves the males who are still in chastity. There are exceptions to the chastity rule, we try to have a NYE party and during the days leading up to it the ladies plan a contest and the losing male remains caged and serves on NYE and the other 2 guys are set free for the evening.