Breaking a man?

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by Dogchasecats, Mar 11, 2018.

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  1. Dogchasecats
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    Dogchasecats Princess Elizabeth

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    I have seen several references to “breaking a man”. What do you think they are talking about?
    Is this worth doing?
    How is this done successfully.
     
  2. subevanston
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    subevanston New Member

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    I can't wait to hear who else opines. Perhaps they are talking about breaking a mans bad habits. Lord knows we have many. I'm sure every bad habit needs a specific course of action. What that course of action is is best left to the mind of a female. I am sure, that the final result will be successful. Nice to see the great state of Texas represented on CM Dogchasecats.
     
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  3. Mandynjack
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    Mandynjack Well-Known Member

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    maybe not breaking him, more rewiring his devotion. Yes they love us and will do anything for us, but usually on their terms. For me, all of that on my terms. Simples!
     
  4. Dr_Strange
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    Dr_Strange Junior Member

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  5. subevanston
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    subevanston New Member

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    "Rewiring his devotion" I love that phrase Mandynjack. Makes me laugh. True though. Us men no matter how submissive tend to want things our way.
     
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  6. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Well-Known Member

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    even men who have decided they wish to serve unconditionally will, in their subconscious, still harbour notions of independence and try to resist submission. Occasionally, there may be resulting breaches of discipline as the male tests the Female. The Female will, of course, break the male.
     
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  7. Chaste J.
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    Chaste J. Well-Known Member

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    Its funny really, most of us blokes are the ones who introduced the idea of chastity and orgasm control to our better halves. We want them to take control which means a certain level of dominance is required. That's fine in the beginning, but when she "gets the hang of it", she realises just what fun she can have. That's when we find out we have opened a Pandoras box and the lid isn't going back on. Some will try to resist! Now if they succeed they will probably spoil the whole thing and possibly spoil the relationship. In our relationship Mrs Chaste is certainly getting into the swing. The chastity side she has fully embraced and the other aspects of domination are evolving as she sees fit and moving outside of the bedroom. If I was to resist to much I really don't know how she would react. Our lifestyle is a always will be " between us". Public humiliation and such things are not on the cards, we just aren't built that way. So Mrs Chaste, whilst not "breaking" me is certainly moulding me and making changes as she sees fit. Quite an interesting journey and although not a whirlwind it is progressing and I have no control or much idea of the eventual destination!
     
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  8. JosieLynn Jewell
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    JosieLynn Jewell Well-Known Member

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    Thanks for sharing the link to that. Having read many more posts on it, I may send that tumblr link as a hint
     
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  9. Dr_Strange
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    Dr_Strange Junior Member

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    My pleasure.
    Also, I should mention that I think that "breaking a man" is meant in much the same sense as breaking a horse. The horse starts out wild and untamed, and it must be "broken" to accept a rider and take direction from that rider. It no longer goes where and does what it wants - it goes where and does what its rider wants. While some of the methods used on a man may be different (T&D, a chastity device, pegging, etc) they ultimately are intended to have a similar effect.
     
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  10. Dr MBogo
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    Dr MBogo You heard the lady! In you go.....

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    I agree with this Tumblr post, more or less. I admit I've been "broken" by my beautiful wife/KH. I do what she wants in bed, and as regards intimacy overall. She makes most of our other family decisions as well. I would phrase it as being "wrapped around her finger" in favor of being "broken" but I'm not opposed to either.
     
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  11. Joan.t
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    Joan.t Well-Known Member

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    "Breaking" a man is a crude way to refer to it, men need guidance and support, on our terms, of course.
    Female love does it all!
     
  12. DonnaSue
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    DonnaSue Well-Known Member

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    I agree with @Dr_Strange on this one. For 60+ years, I was a true Alpha Male. The tough boss at work and domineering at home. That was until She caught me wearing panties to satisfy a curiosity. She took charge and, over time, has "broken me" to now being Her devoted and submissive sissy. I don't to consider myself "broken", but rather "Mind altered" by a loving and caring Woman!
     
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  13. El Guapo
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    El Guapo Ladies First.

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    I take it to mean 'redirecting a males attitude'.
    Or perhaps 'educating & leading him to a less selfish way of life'.
     
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  14. Dogchasecats
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    Dogchasecats Princess Elizabeth

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    I had read one post about the technique to “break” a man.
    The technique was having a man cuffed, naked and having a lot of time to tease him.
    It started off with the woman in some sort of sexy power outfit. She worked on him to get him excited and got him to agree to various things that were not tough for him to agree with. Like do you feel good ect.
    He wasn’t allowed to cum but teased and then asked to agree to more and more things, tell secrets, make promises. Kind of like a war interrogation scene. It’s supposed to go on for a long time and then several other sessions to follow. I will try to find it and post it, but it was long ago. Has anyone read anything like this? I am wondering if it would be effective and permanent after many sessions.
    Something like this occurs in people held captive where they start to identify and sympathize with their captors and willingly obey them.
    I think the pattern of pleasing, demanding concessions, then rewarding with pleasure would work. It would have to be repeated a long time I would think. However because pleasure occurs only when the man submits the two would be linked. It would make a new pathway in the brain. Submission and surrender would be linked to pleasure. With time and repition the brain can be rewired and tendencies to submit and comply can be strengthened. I have seen pictures of nerve highways that were strengthened through training. It’s a Pavlov’s dog type thing. I think that if you kept expanding the mans obedience comfort zone by getting him to do slightly objectionable or embarrassing things and then rewarding with pleasure. I am reminded of the book “sexual power for women” by ms cross.
     
  15. mcfeely
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    mcfeely Active Member

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    It would probably work if you have a willing subject. The reason it works in interogations is because the prisioner has zero power or options ( trust me I know). If you are trying to modify a behavior to meet your expectations without regard to his, it might work for a while but eventually he will ( or he should) rebel and if the man is worthy of the title, should straighten out his partner. He needs to be true to himself and his beliefs and his partner needs to accept that or get out of dodge.
     
  16. Kylara
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    Kylara Active Member

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    It is called the stockolm syndrom, you push him to be devoted to you a lot.
    I would say, what do you want, a lover that do anything or a mind less slave ?
    I may be in 2 steps, the first is to push him to put you in the center of his world, teasing and cage will helps you for that and you won't succeed without his helps and good will.

    For the second you need to have a full controll on him and be sure he can't go away. Chastity and FLR is not only a women control on men mind but also a desire of men to be in that position.

    Don't break him, forge his mind.
     
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  17. LadyMoon
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    LadyMoon Well-Known Member

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    In evolutionary psychology, it's called "capture-bonding."

    "Battered-wife syndrome is an example of activating the capture-bonding psychological mechanism, as are military basic training, fraternity bonding by hazing, and sex practices such as sadism/masochism or bondage/discipline." [https://archive.is/20121209044509/h...06/4/17/194059/296#selection-807.478-807.701]

    To some extent, I think a lot of D/s activities play with this energy -- logically and culturally, it doesn't make sense to be attracted to or love someone who is going to physically hurt or control you. But yet, that's what many of us seek out.

    I think this is one of those spots where you need to examine how far your ethics allow you to go. For most BDSM situations, the boundary between abuse and play is consent. For me, an intense interrogation/hostage scene like what you're describing is edgeplay that would need to be discussed with my intended participant, to see if he agrees to be manipulated in this way.

    Then, there are D/s (or M/s) relationships that do involve someone being 100% in control of the other person, and perhaps that is what you are aiming for. These relationships go by names like:

    TPE = total power exchange
    TAT = total authority transfer
    CNC = consensual non-consent

    These are also well-negotiated relationships built on trust that the D-type will not only have power over the s-type, but also full responsibility for him. If you wanted to "break" someone to your will, you must be ready to also care for this new slave that you've created.
     
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  18. Dr MBogo
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    Dr MBogo You heard the lady! In you go.....

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    So true! There's no doubt in my mind that I've become "conditioned" to being more obedient and paying more attention to my beautiful wife/KH. There are certainly boundaries to that; meaning there are things I wouldn't do. But we are alike enough in our personalities, and we've been together long enough(37 years) to know each other's limits very well. In other words, she wouldn't ask me to do something that she knew I would strongly object to. She will push my comfort zone a bit, but never anything dangerous/painful/counter to our ethical standards. Which is why she would never consider cuckolding. In fact, the first time she saw this site, there happened to be several prominent posts on cuckolding. She was very turned off, and decided not to come back here. (I've been slowly suggesting she try it again, while ignoring the discussions of cuckolding)
     
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  19. Kylara
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    Kylara Active Member

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    The goal is at first to give him what he needs and please him, men love sex and will go for it a lot as long they get excited and their brain enjoy it.

    After a while it became a drug that is needed the person will go and search for it as it gave pleasure.

    If you say no sex to a man he will flee.
    if you say yes, then sex tomorrow if you play with me and an accessories like a cage, teasing him, manipulation of his cock in cage, he will be aroused to the extreme. this is sex games and the promise of a better sex latter. This hope keeps him around you and his attention on you.

    This is the purpose of the orgasm denial, keep the hormones high and the man in a perpetual excitation. A perpetual desire to have sex and to have the liberation of his semens on you as every man wants. He knows he will also be free from his pulsion that become so strong that all is mind is occupied with the desire of sex.

    This lead to a perpetual desire of sex with someone who say yes, but not for now, maybe tomorrow. Someone that you desire a lot.

    After a while, habits and the permanent excitement will do the rest. Drugged by the desire to please and serve the man will obey and accept everything.
    of course this mental control takes time as you rewrite his interest and desires. You give his as pleasure the pleasure he gave to you. Also, he is not totally denied to sex, liking, watching you with a bull is a sexual activity no different than pornography, which is very addictive.

    teasing him put him in a permanent pornographic world where his woman is his fantasy.

    After a while all will be normal for him as he does what you ask every day and accept all for you in hope of a reward. A bit like a dog he will be conditioned to obey and knows how to please you.

    In that relation you maintain the sexual arousal by many things like teasing and orgasm denial and by reducing his manly thoughts, with shaving and feminization, pegging.
    You move his joy from a simple PIV to a more complex one based on a permanent live fantasy. Something he can only have with you and he will be frustrated, lost without it.

    This is what gives you such a power, at this point he is totally enslaved as long you keep the job. You will need minimal to do to makes him in his mind cage and you’ll have all the freedom.

    I guess we have all (males) live that in a manner or another, and there are many ways and stages to obtain it. We are all at a different one.
     
  20. mcfeely
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    mcfeely Active Member

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    I think this method will fail for two reasons. First if a man has any sense, he will see thru the deception that she actually cares about him and is instead just trying to manipulate. Second with few exceptions most women would be unable to maintain the necessary level of sexual interaction. If the male doesn't "buckle under" quickly the game is over. If you want to treat your spouse like a dog, go to an animal shelter and find a pet. If you want a woman, find one. If you arn't happy with the MAN you married, you made a mistake.
     
  21. Breathe
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    Breathe Wife, Owner, Dom/me, and KH of _and_smile

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    Well said. There's definitely a threshold crossed when sexual authority is met with constant 'vanilla' responsibility.

    Of course, a considerate Top is responsible for a sub regardless of the depth of submission given - just not down to micromanagement of someone else's entire existence. You speak quite truly about the level of commitment required for that transition.

    Sidenote... Culturally and economically speaking, I find it hard to believe many scenarios exist where a willing sub 'only lives to serve' these days. Not bashing anyone, just doesn't seem feasible to Me for most situations. Also, slave is a term generously thrown around in many cases when servant seems more applicable (in My opinion).

    And yet, when I inspect the literary differences between those terms, I find this:
    Semantics strike again. :)

    Perfect parallel. I find this to be true. Even when I'm on top, holding the reins (literally and figuratively), there's still a beast fit to buck underneath.

    Sometimes the ride is smooth and controlled, other times it's a rough romp. A well-trained mount knows the difference and complies with the rider's desires and commands.

    Personally, I would be quite bored with one that only followed the beaten path. I'm glad he's still a little wild at the right times. :) As such...

    I find these responses capture the essence of My 'breaking' style. I am adamant that he retains his identity as an individual - but an individual that must meet certain expectations as My submissive. Most of those expectations were met naturally.

    I haven't the time, energy, or desire to control each and every aspect of his life outside of sex. I do possess these traits in regards to striving to improve his life and overall well-being, which is why developing a positive self-image is something I've done (and will continue to do) My best to instill in him. His mental state now, compared to four years ago, has dramatically improved and strengthened. So has his submission.

    Love, communication, and support have brought out far more honesty (and subsequent submissiveness) than any unyielding Dommery I've tried.

    Long-term tease and denial coupled with a stern, soft voice does seem to work wonders, though...
     
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  22. Joan.t
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    Joan.t Well-Known Member

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    Very well said Breathe, wish that every Domme were leading their subs that way, individualizing and not denying their self to expand, after submitting and exerting the female power next step is developing and install the positive attitudes not natural to man, that's for it we are striving for as Dominants, and not for the sake of raw power.
     
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  23. LadyMoon
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    LadyMoon Well-Known Member

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    I agree that, most often, "slave" is more of a fantasy term and, in my personal life, I tend to prefer "servant" over "slave" or even "submissive." But in some of the communities I'm in/adjacent to, M/s is a different, defined style of relationship from D/s. So, I think there are still legitimate uses of the word "slave"... though even people in M/s don't necessarily agree what a "slave" is in the context of a TPE/TAT!

    This totally resonates with me. While I don't really love brattiness, I do love a spirited mount. :)
     
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  24. El Guapo
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    El Guapo Ladies First.

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    So ...
    Many of you know my story: decades of TND/OD/FLR ... and operating under the Honor System as opposed to a wearing device.

    We have a Lori's on order (PM me if you want the longer story) ... and it should be here in a few weeks.

    The past few days I have been having 'Prison' dreams ...
    - waking up in the middle of the night,
    - in a cold sweat,
    - hyperventilating,
    - feeling my 'stuff' locked away,
    - grabbing 'it' in a panic to feel for myself,
    - then seeing my loving wife swinging the keys back and forth!

    I thought I was 'broken in' decades ago ... but my dreams are telling me I will be experiencing a new level of 'being broken in'.

    I suppose I'll get used to a rapid pulse & shallow breathing :sos:
     
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