Looking for advice: I am caged during the week. But I usually have to initiate getting locked back up after weekend sex. On Monday morning, I tell my wife I am putting on the device, and she seems happy to turn the key. But, I think it would be really hot if she ordered me to lock up immediately after sex. I have casually suggested that she could "give the order" and I would obey. She has not yet given the order. Question: Should I beg her to order me to lock up? Am I bottoming from the top? I would be happy to beg, but i don't want to push too hard. Opinions?
In theory, you are supposed to have her lead, but I think that until she is comfortable doing the leading, you may need to lead her down the path a ways. But don't take my word for it... I'm kinda stalled in a similar place myself.
Does sound like you want to tell her how to do her thing. Now if you talk about it, and let her know your feeliings with the acknowledgment that it is her choice that is just giving her feedback. I imagine the more you two do together, the more in sync you'll be.
How about making the locked up version of you and your relationship together something that She doesn't want to give up? When you're locked go out of your way to be of service to Her and give Her more than everything She wants, be attentive and submissive and take care of every chore, buy gifts, woo Her, do everything She suggests without question, etc She'll soon see the difference and start demanding things. It worked exactly this way for my Wife and i and now my balls are aching and She gets strict about watching me even when i just want to unlock to clean
Just because you a submitting doesn't mean that you shouldn't communicate with Her. Just be sure that you are clear that, whatever is done is HER DECISION, not yours.
That does sound like bottoming from the top, you could do what me and my madam did when we first started our 24/7 bdsm lifestyle, and introduce time outs. You basically call a time out so you can speak freely and step out of role, to discus what is happening and what you have on your mind. But your only allowed to mention a subject once. Then once it is recognised, it’s back in to role.
It does sound like you could do with a conversation to agree parameters and how this will work. She can't know what's in your head unless you tell her. Try to get an agreement where you have the same understanding of who does what. Good luck.
Generally topping from the bottom isn't good, but not communicating is worse. It's all about you both getting the maximum benefit, so if you feel the need to say something, phrase it in a way that means whatever the thing is, you're doing it for her, with her consent. A frequent complaint seems to be when the lady doesn't lock her man up after she unlocked him for whatever reason, one answer is to tell her that you don't want to be selfish and masturbate so you'll automatically lock up first thing in the morning if you wake up unlocked UNLESS she says you're not to. That way you'te keeping the decision with her, but you get the default state you desire. And once you've made that promise, you need to keep it, for her.