Best Friend as KH

Discussion in 'Novices and newbies' started by MrMartini, Sep 22, 2018.

  1. MrMartini
    Offline

    MrMartini Comfortably Locked

    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2018
    Messages:
    133
    Likes Received:
    69
    Trophy Points:
    38
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    New Jersey (NJ), USA
    Local Time:
    7:50 AM
    Currently I’m self-locked but starting to think about a KH. I’m considering asking my best friend. We’ve known each other all our lives. He does not know I’m locked. Would like to get the groups perspective and things to consider in this type of arrangement. If someone has had a similar experience how did it go? The relationship dynamics are different than a KH being a spouse/partner/significant other or a professional KH/service. Thanks, and I appreciate the input.
     
  2. LesterBallard
    Offline

    LesterBallard Long term member

    Joined:
    Oct 2, 2016
    Messages:
    15,495
    Likes Received:
    5,489
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Management
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    United Kingdom
    Local Time:
    11:50 AM
    just be aware if you've misjudged it you're likely to lose a lifelong friendship.
     
  3. Jblocked
    Offline

    Jblocked Long term member

    Joined:
    Jul 24, 2015
    Messages:
    690
    Likes Received:
    522
    Trophy Points:
    103
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Buffalo NY US
    Local Time:
    7:50 AM
    Puts a lot of.presure on your friend
     
  4. L-u-c-y
    Offline

    Staff Member Owner of Chastity Mansion Administrator Verified Female

    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2015
    Messages:
    4,866
    Likes Received:
    34,245
    Trophy Points:
    163
    Gender:
    Female
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Oxford, England
    Local Time:
    11:50 AM
    Sounds like a terrible idea to me, but you know your friend and I don't.
     
    Giles_English likes this.
  5. Unlucky
    Offline

    Unlucky Long term member

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2018
    Messages:
    947
    Likes Received:
    1,397
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Male
    Local Time:
    4:50 AM
    I don't understand your thinking here at all. If you're struggling relying on your willpower alone to stay self locked, there are other ways to help with that.
     
  6. Jessica Alexander
    Offline

    Jessica Alexander Trans woman not a mistress or Dom

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2016
    Messages:
    2,252
    Likes Received:
    4,571
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Female
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Houston
    Local Time:
    11:50 AM
    Just buy a kitchen safe or get a safety deposit box.
     
    corsac, Giles_English, G42G and 2 others like this.
  7. tomf_22033
    Offline

    tomf_22033 Long term member

    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2008
    Messages:
    3,040
    Likes Received:
    3,706
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    VA USA
    Local Time:
    7:50 AM
    I think it depends on the friend.
    Are they kink friendly?
    Are they reliable?
    Will they be supportive?
    Will they bore with it easily?
    What’s in it for them?

    Since they don’t know about your kink, I’d wait. To spring that in them then ask to hold your key is a lot all at once.

    I’d suggest you look at the questions I’ve listed above. Use them to see how you should proceed and if they might even be a good choice. If so, then you need to discuss kinks and then slowly see if they would do it.

    Personally I don’t ask my Vanilla friends to do kinky things or help with my kinks. I only discuss kinks with kinky friends and those who are kink friendly and supportive.
     
  8. MrMartini
    Offline

    MrMartini Comfortably Locked

    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2018
    Messages:
    133
    Likes Received:
    69
    Trophy Points:
    38
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    New Jersey (NJ), USA
    Local Time:
    7:50 AM
    Thank you, All, for your guidance and thoughtful input. After reading through and thinking about what you had to say, I can see where this may not be the wisest choice. Thank you for the advice!!!
     
  9. collegeslave
    Offline

    collegeslave Junior Member

    Joined:
    Jul 5, 2009
    Messages:
    101
    Likes Received:
    84
    Trophy Points:
    38
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Philadelphia, PA
    Local Time:
    7:50 AM
    It really depends on your relationship with your friend. Do you talk about sex with them? If you already do and you're talking about kinks I don't see any harm with you mentioning chastity or orgasm denial and going from there. If they don't react negatively to it you could eventually mention you have trouble keeping locked without a key holder and seeing what they say.

    There are more options than either out of the blue asking them to be your key holder or not. Trying to force it on them likely won't end up well, but discussing sex with your friend and mentioning kinks naturally can be very normal for some friendships.
     
  10. OscartheTurtle
    Offline

    OscartheTurtle Long term member

    Joined:
    Jul 8, 2018
    Messages:
    411
    Likes Received:
    307
    Trophy Points:
    73
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    People Manager
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Central Ohio
    Local Time:
    7:50 AM
    Think twice and lock once.

    It’s easy to let our minds run to conclusions when we get rev’d up. I too have run a lot of “what if” scenarios through my mind to only conclude later that it wasn’t the best line of thinking. Fortunately I’ve never acted on them when it comes to my lock up.
     
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice