Being shown to old friends

I can't tell you what to do, and won't try. I wouldn't do it, but there are a lot of things I won't do, we're all different.

The bottom line for you is what you want and what you're willing to do. Not what other people want.

Submitting to others, including your ex and her boyfriend, doesn't negate your free will, nor your right to choose.

Perhaps your good friends know about your situation. Perhaps they don't. It's irrelevant, if you're not comfortable with it. This is your choice. Don't let others make it for you.

 

If your dominant doesn't respect your limits... they aren't a 'dominant'. They are just someone taking advantage of their power over you at best or an abuser at worst.

Serious red flags in this story and a cautionary tale for all of us.

 

Exactly, where are the “red flags”, no where does the OP, indicate they have voiced an objection to this situation with his Doms, or that it was expressed previously as a limit.

 

This sounds about as “Red Flag” as it gets. If he is afraid of them, it doesn’t seem like freely given consent. I tend to agree with @SubSnuggler on this one.

 

Sorry, I'm a firm believer that it is a sub or slaves responsibility to explicitly set boundaries. "...as I don’t want to piss them off", is not an excuse to communicate.

I would feel completely different if they sprang this on him. They didn't. They told him about it well ahead of time. It's entirely possible (even likely), that they thought he'd be pleased. How are they to know he's not unless he communicates?

Just my opinion.

 

If it is a consensual relationship, both parties set limits and constantly verify them with each other. Especially if they are treading into new territory.

I agree that he needs to communicate. Everybody will enjoy the event more if they agree.

 

On my side I would also know about the others, do they know you are a sissy or a sub, do they know this kind of relation exist already?

Many people could be shocked to know that you are a maid an a 3 person couple (kind of) so many people can't think on something else than "classic heterosexual cis couple".
I would first talk about this to my master to be sure that the other couple will not react badly. Then I will see if I can do it naked or not, maybe it is too much for a first time.

I don't know if it is your theill but it is a big step in a sissy life to be recognise. Be sure it does not impact your profesionnal life too.
once others knows, who else knows.....?

 

I'm just wondering what happened here, any update on how it all went ?

 

It takes two parties in a D/s relationship. No where was it mentioned as an 'ask' by the dominant either.

If this hasn't been discussed as a hard limit (which stretches credulity because 'publicly outing' is a normal concern for any submissive) then it certainly should have been discussed by the Dom BEFORE the party instruction. I mean for chrissakes if you are going to put your sub out there at least know their feelings first. Maybe OP left some facts out?

 

The "party instructions" were three days before the original planned event. That gave plenty of time for the sub/slave to think it over and object (or not). Which in my opinion in a well established relationship is sufficient communication on the part of a Domme/Dom, for something the expect the sub will like. However, it falls far short of the "enthusiastic consent" model . Which frankly in an established long term relationship makes me cringe (but I find perfectly acceptable for pickup play and new relationships). But, adults are capable of choosing what model or dynamic works for them. Whichever model you choose in your dynamic if you aren't capable of saying "NO", in my opinion you do not belong in D/s and you need to get out, your not safe regardless of how caring your Dominant is. Opinions vary greatly, I can only speak for mine.

 

The fact that he had time to ask on this forum, and saying that he was undecided so having the choice, means it's not without consent. Yes, he's been given a dilemma that's testing his limits but he also feels that he has the choice.
When you role play you can act as though it's for real, so a little psychological pressure or play coercion is ok. In reality that could be coercive or consensual, however this scenario and especially the advance warning makes it feel very much like the latter.

 

I just saw you are from Chicago.

I am a former Chicago and sounding area resident.

I have a more important question for you....

Cubs or Sox?

Iso.

 

It's good to hear that all went well. You did as your Mistress wanted, which shows you are trained well and obedient. Well done sissy.

MistressS

 

That's a very happy and uplifting story. Things turned out much like I thought they would. Thanks for sharing it.

 

Glad everything worked out OK.

Still, it's one reason why it's a good idea to discuss hard limits, safewords and soft or flexible limits in advance. As my part of being a responsible Disciplinarian, any time I want to push a soft limit or try something new, even a new implement or device, I talk to husband about it. Sometimes, I will approach him when he's dressed, as he's more submissive when he's in lace. I think he knows I'm doing it on purpose, but, it's rare he'll suddenly run upstairs, take off the makeup, lace, jump in the shower to get rid of as much of the perfume as he can, put on jeans and a chambray shirt and come back downstairs to talk about it. He's done it, but not a lot.

When I decided I wanted to try chastity and domestic discipline, we talked about it. The big thing for him was discretion. He didn't want anyone knowing about it, although he did know I'd tell my best friend about it. I did make it clear to him when we started dating that best friend was going to know everything. He understood. Still, for a long time, when I mentioned she was interested in seeing him get one, he'd say the safeword right away. Finally, I was so angry after he'd disobeyed me on minding his manners with her (they don't like each other, but that's what best female friends are for), I warned him next time, I was going to let her watch. He disobeyed me again, so when I came home to administer discipline to him as scheduled, she was with me. He didn't want to come out of his corner when I called him and he hid behind the door, but, finally he did come out. Yes, he got extra for it.

Once I got past that discretion limit, I did expand the list of people who get to witness, but, still I have a duty to make sure they keep discretion.

He has a hard limit on gay-bi. It's not open for discussion. Somebody did post a thread on fantasies you know will never happen. From time to time, I do entertain a fantasy of watching him perform fellatio on a real penis and getting ejaculate all over his face and watching some well hung guy do him, but, it's only a fantasy he'll never do and even when it comes down to it, I don't want. First and most important, I really don't want to share him with anybody, Second, he has a hard limit against it. He's made it clear it's not a subject for discussion.

Some of the limits are for safety. There are things he knows about I don't. When I wanted to introduce electric penis and testicle discipline, he said batteries only, no plug in and only below his garter belt. I'd showed him some of the plug in devices. He said there can be power surges that can get past everything and as he said "fry him good". He also mentioned that even the batteries can cause heart problems if the electric thingies are attached above the waist, especially on the nipples.

When I do administer penis and testicle discipline, his begging convinces me the batteries deliver my message to him I'm displeased with his conduct.

There are other things that aren't up for discussion, like his old car. He made it clear when we started dating that his old car stayed. We know couples who are in this lifestyle and not where husband had an old car, a boat, a motorcycle, a plane or something that got sold after they were married and not because they needed money or to save money. Wife just didn't like it and decided it was going to go.

While husband admitted it was, as he says, "a black hole you pour money down", he also made it clear thim keeping it and putting money and time in it wasn't a subject for discussion.

It's why you have to establish your hard and soft limits early in the relationship and come to a mutual understanding of what can't even be discussed.

 

love your approach, especially how you responded to his actions against best friend. It seems he knew it would happen anyway and since he was not friends with her, wanted it clear that he was being forced to go along. Good job on keeping him in line without abusing him. lucky sub.

 

I'm sure he knew she eventually was going to see him get one. She can be a real C-word sometimes, and it's something I've had to talk to husband about. We decided when she pushed it too much, he had to come talk to me first. I'd talk to her and tell her to tone it down. If she didn't listen, he could come to me again and I'd either talk to her again or give him the all clear. After the second time I talked to her, if she pushed him again, he didn't have to ask.

I've always encouraged witnesses to make comments while I discipline husband. Because she can be a real C-word and doesn't like him, her comments can be really biting. She doesn't have to tone it down or restrain herself when she watches him get disciplined.

She makes some really biting comments about what a sissy he is, since he's always dressed when i discipline him. She comments on how pretty his dresses and lingerie look and what a pretty sissy he is. He always ejaculates on the first two trips across my lap. I make him eat it, give him a tawsing then start the spanking all over again. She makes some real mean comments about him eating his ejaculate. I don't understand how a guy can be bawling like a little baby and still ejaculate, but he does. Usually, I can get through the spanking on the third trip across my lap.

When I first got him to cry, of course the first thing I did was think of an excuse to have her witness his next Disciplinary Session. She makes some real mean comments when he starts crying. If part of his penalty is sissy maid service after the Disciplinary Session, she gets real demanding. She'll tell him to bring her a piece of cake. He brings it with a fork. She tells him she wants a spoon, not a fork, so she'll send him back to the kitchen for a spoon. Then she'll tell him the slice of cake is too small, bring a larger one. he brings that with the spoon and she tells him now she wants a fork. he brings the fork and she tells him she wants some tea instead of the coffee I had him bring both of us. She'll keep telling him how slow he is and how it must be because he loves sucking his own ejaculate so much he's touching himself in the kitchen.

He really doesn't like eating his ejaculate, but, each Disciplinary Session concludes with him bent over and getting paddles while I extract confessions, admissions, apologies, promises to be good and obey between sobs. A lot of those take the form of questions like

"Are you sorry for disobeying me?"
"Yes Ma'am"
"Are you a disobedient little pantyboy?"
"Yes Ma'am"
"Let me hear you say it."
"I'm a disobedient little pantyboy, Ma;am."

Since he ejaculates at least twice during the Disciplinary Session, one of the questions is always

"Are you a cum sucking sissy?" (for some reason "ejaculate sucking sissy" just doesn't work here)
"Yes Ma'am"
"Let me hear you say it."
"I'm a cum sucking sissy, Ma'am."
"You like eating your cum, don't you pantyboy?"
"No Ma'am>"
"WHAT WAS THAT?!?" Each question's punctuated with a swat of the paddle, but a "no" gets a couple of swats. Finally he frantically says
"Yes Ma'am."
"More enthusiasm! WHAT WAS THAT?"
"YES MA'AM! YES MA'AM! YES MA'AM!"
"Now let me hear you say it."
"I love eating my cum, Miss Cecilia."
"Why do you love eating your cum?"
"Because I'm a cum sucking sissy, Miss Cecilia."

Since she sees him "admitting" he loves to eat ejaculate, she likes to remind him of it.

 

Maybe because it seems to fit so well, but her reaction sounds appropriate to me. If he's dressed fem and having a disciplinary session, then how else should she view him? I think you did right move to include her.

 

I think he should thank your friend for helping to teach him obedience. Yes it's hard in some ways but that only makes him a stronger slave for your use down the road. If he doesnt like her watching his beatings, how about her administering them??

I love what you're doing with him though. You're very good at this.

 

(emphasis added)

In the last months of my pregnancy, I didn't have a lot of energy. It got to the point where a Disciplinary Session was held only when things got really bad. They had to be quick, so I just had husband put on panties, bra, garter belt, stockings, heels and a slip and do a little makeup and perfume. Then I had him bring me the cane, bend over, I lifted up his slip, pulled down his panties and gave him 12 strokes (that was as high as I'd go then because he has a hard limit against blood and I was afraid of breaking his skin if I did more than 12). Then I sent him to the corner for 30 minutes and I collapsed on the couch. A couple of times, I fell asleep, so he just came out of the corner, checked the time to make sure he'd been there at least 30 minutes and went on with whatever.

In the last 2 months, I didn't even have the energy to give a caning, so I tried having my other friends discipline him. My best friend was really excited about it, since she'd asked from the beginning if she could discipline him, especially if he was rude to her. The answer was always a firm and cold "NO.", but, I couldn't do it, so I decided to let her try it. She gave him one session and a couple of other ladies did, too. Husband and I agreed it just didn't work. Even my best friend, who thought she was living her dream when I asked her to do it, agreed it just didn't work. My other friends felt the same way. Husband, friends and I all agreed that I should be the only one who applies discipline to his bare bottom.

Husband and i agreed if I get pregnant again, we'll have to figure out something else. I got pregnant for the first time at 41 (husband was 28). My doctor warned me it would be harder on me because of my age and she was right. She says I could even get pregnant again and come through it alright, but it would be more draining on me. We've talked about it a few times since baby arrived, but i think we won't be pushed into figuring out anything until I miss another period.

 

please Miss why dint it work. was he bad and wud not have it.