Being reborn, a sissys diary

Back in my CB once again after a very long break. I took the decision to put it back on yesterday. After I had a full orgasm last week I haven’t felt as submissive or feminine as usual so I thought going back in the CB might do me some good. I haven’t been tucking my clitty like I was supposed to anyone so I guess it doesn’t make much difference that I have a bulge.

I already feel a lot more submissive and all my manors have returned, asking Master if I can use the bathroom and refereeing to Master in the correct manor.

Last night we had a few friends over, I don’t think we got to bed until gone 4am it was a good night. When we did finally climb into bed Master decided he wanted to use me for his pleasure, he was very dominant, the thought of my being back in the CB kept turning him on all evening. He ordered me onto my front and then proceeded to use my sissy pussy for his pleasure.

I hope I can stay in the CB this time, I really would like a mini birdlocked in pink if I can stay in it and then eventually I would love a Neo Steel so I can remain locked and smooth. My only fear is that the bulge might get too much for me again when my feminine feelings do come back strong.

For now I’m happily locked up in my CB, still getting used to it. I had the perfect set up still arranged from when I had worn it in the past so fitting wasn’t a problem.

One thing I did noticed is that my testicles we’re quite small and shrunken, must have been from all that tucking, it would be shame for them to grow back again so I’m going to try and keep them worm, I think tight panties and pads should help.

As for being full of fluids, Master always makes sure I am regularly topped up :sex023:

 

Yesterday was a good day I think. After spending my first 24 hours in my CB I was happy, I was still getting used to wearing it but it wasn’t too uncomfortable. Most of the day was spent recovering, luckily Master and I weren’t too hung over but we did feel a bit worse for wear.

Although we spent a lot of time resting we did get some time for play. Sometime during the afternoon I had slipped into a skirt, bra and top and was dressed like that for most of the day, apart from when Master undid my top and began to tease me, lifting up my bra and playing with my sissy tits. It wasn’t long until I was horny as hell, it had been over a week since I had last climaxed.

During the foreplay which was intense Master sat on my face and had me lick deep into his arse which I loved he also thrust his cock down my throat on a few occasions. He really got me worked up and I got deep into my subspace which I hadn't felt for a long time.

Whist I was being teased and serving Master sexually he would push just below my scrotum and massage the area, this soon got me feeling as if I was going to climax so I said to Master that I was close so he stopped.

After some intense play Master ordered me to fetch some lube as we we’re in the front room at the time. I went quickly into the bedroom and while I was there grabbed the flogger and brought them back to Master. Master asked about the flogger and I told him that when I got close to climax I had selfish thought about cumming and wished to be punished.

Master spanked my ass hard and asked me why I shouldn’t cum to which I replied because it’s selfish. I was so deep into my subspace by this time and felt a real guilt and sorrow for having a selfish though.

Master was also very horny by this time so he ordered me to sit on his cock which I did gladly. I rode his cock until he came in my sissy pussy after that I lent forward and we hugged for a while.

I loved being in my subspace and have felt submissive ever since. I’m glad I’m back in my CB so my clitty is locked away safely. If I have more experiences like that then I will gladly give up the right to climax ever again. I wish I could feel that level of subspace more often and would love to be a proper slave to Master, not an equal but his property, an object which he can use for his pleasure and service.

On a less passionate note, the first of what I hope will be many bar tops has arrived today. I want to wear bras more often but they show up under t-shirts. The bra top doesn’t seem to be as obvious as the straps are more like that of a vest top. At best they seem invisible at worst it just looks like I’m wearing a vest under my t-shirt. I only wish I had boobies to fill the bra.

 

It’s been another quite week with Master and I back to work and feeling tired again. I’ve been in my CB for almost a week now, I had to ask Master to take it off this morning though for a short while. I woke up about 6am with a swollen clit, nothing unusual about that but my testis were really hurting. The CB was taken off but I asked Master if he wanted me back in it when I got home from work this evening. Apart from that I’ve been ok wearing up to now.

I think I’m trying harder this time around because Master is going to buy me a birdlocked which I’m excited about. We’re still undecided about the colour, I want a pink one as any self respecting sissy would but Master wants me to have a black one. I supposed I should be happy with what ever I get but I’ve got my heart set on a pink one.

I was starting to think mid week about why I have a drop in submissiveness come Wednesday/Thursday. I know Master and I are both tired but I think there may be more to it. I have a fairly physical job and I’m sure physical activity has an effect on testosterone levels, I could be wrong but I’m sure my job has a lot to do with my submissiveness mid week. I’m always at my most submissive on Sunday.

I’m not entirely sure though, I’m just speculating. All I know is that I wish I could be more submissive and more consistent with how submissive I feel. Having said that I have done as I’ve been told, I still ask to use the bathroom and I have been happy to remain in my CB.

On a lighter note, I’ve purchased a few items to help with my femming. I’ve decided I need to shave a lot more often so have got a selection of moisturisers and a new razor, I like the new Wilkinson Sword for woman, it has a guard which is handy for the more sensitive areas. I also bought a new fem deodorant spray and Master bought me a fem bath wash. So no more using any products for men. It’s a start I suppose.

I have the clothes, I have the cosmetics and toiletries I just need to work on acting more feminine now, that’s the hard part……