Beginning a caged life: From the mind of a Mistress

Discussion in 'Novices and newbies' started by Mistress Luscinia, Feb 14, 2018.

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  1. Mistress Luscinia
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    Mistress Luscinia Active member

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    #26 Mistress Luscinia, Feb 15, 2018
    Thank you for your understanding. Sometimes that is difficult for caged/pet/subs to realize. It is a lot of work. But I do it because I care, and not everyone has a local KH that can help them through this.
     
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  2. cumplexity
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    cumplexity Fetish, isn't it!?

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    #27 cumplexity, Feb 15, 2018
    People involved into this life style done it because they care, and because they love I guess.
    As a beginer, I notice KH work and engagement as important as Sub/hubby one.
    Women mind's have always been a major part of relationship. This is more than real in this life style.
     
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  3. Mandynjack
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    Mandynjack Long term member

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    #28 Mandynjack, Feb 15, 2018
    @Mistress Luscinia such a generous piece of direction and guidance. Totally agree this should be pinned. I would definitely direct cagees to your brilliant narrative. A strong contribution. Thank you Sister.
     
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  4. Mistress Luscinia
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    Mistress Luscinia Active member

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    #29 Mistress Luscinia, Feb 16, 2018
    Thank you very much for your extremely kind words.
     
  5. Mandynjack
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    Mandynjack Long term member

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    #30 Mandynjack, Feb 16, 2018
    Thank You for your contribution, quite inspiring.
     
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  6. Slave rahul
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    Slave rahul Member

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    #31 Slave rahul, Feb 17, 2018
    Wow this is just the stuff I was looking for.
    Since I m new, I did the same mistake by just messaging random KH's and expecting a miracle to happen and I might get my keyholder.
    Reading this thread I learned about how to approach step by step rather than directly asking KH's.
    Thanks again, it was of great help for a new member like me and would be helpful for many others also for sure.
    Keep posting such good stuff.
    #still_in_search_of_keyholder
     
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  7. Beautiful and her footman
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    Beautiful and her footman Long term member

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    #32 Beautiful and her footman, Feb 17, 2018
    Thank you for reading it.
     
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  8. Mistress Luscinia
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    Mistress Luscinia Active member

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    #33 Mistress Luscinia, Feb 17, 2018
    I agree with Beautiful and her footman, thank you for taking the time to read it. That is a very good indicator that you are serious about finding a KH the appropriate way.

    Good luck to you.
     
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  9. Joroincharge
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    Joroincharge Lock em up - 24/7/365!!

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    #34 Joroincharge, Feb 17, 2018
    I think that's a good point. I am therefore making this thread a sticky, at least for now.
     
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  10. Mistress Luscinia
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    Mistress Luscinia Active member

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    #35 Mistress Luscinia, Feb 17, 2018
    Thank you very much. I am honored.
     
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  11. Power9
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    Power9 New member

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    #36 Power9, Feb 19, 2018
    Well said
     
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  12. Mistress Luscinia
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    Mistress Luscinia Active member

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    #37 Mistress Luscinia, Feb 19, 2018
    Thank you.
     
  13. mcfeely
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    mcfeely Long term member

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    #38 mcfeely, Feb 20, 2018
    Thank you for posting as well. Wife is actually the one who would like to explore lifestyle. After reading your post there are things in the post I couldn't live with. Good jumping off point for discussion.
     
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  14. Mistress Luscinia
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    Mistress Luscinia Active member

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    #39 Mistress Luscinia, Feb 20, 2018
    Communication is most important. Now you know you have areas you definitely need to discuss.
     
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  15. mcfeely
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    mcfeely Long term member

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    #40 mcfeely, Feb 20, 2018
    There in lies a problem. I'm not a sub by nature or inclination and very honestly expect that my wife would be one of those to lock and ignore as sex isn't anywhere near as high on her priority list as it is on mine. I can't see an outcome where I win and I am a big believer that deals need to be a win-win. I would be curious as to how you engage in a conversation on this subject and deal/manage expectations on both sides.
     
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  16. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Long term member

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    #41 LesterBallard, Feb 20, 2018
    The OP was excellent, but this is simply stunning.

    Thank you..
     
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  17. Mistress Luscinia
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    Mistress Luscinia Active member

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    #42 Mistress Luscinia, Feb 21, 2018
    It is possible that she might lock and ignore, but you have to be very verbal with there. If that happens, you need to speak up. If you don't say anything, she will not know what you like or dislike. This is a common situation (low libido).
    I agree, deals need to be win-win. When you bring it up to here, don't approach if from an aspect of what you want and what you can get out of it. If you approach it from a stand point of wanting you both to be satisfied, then it's about BOTH of you and not just YOU. Make sure she knows that you care about her needs as well (even if they aren't sexual). What things does she like? Incorporate those.
    And in all honesty, you both might have certain expectations about this, but it will not be 100% like that.
    But if it will help, you both can make a list of what you'd like to incorporate in this. Then you will both know what the other person wants, as well as what you'd both be willing to do.
     
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  18. MadamBelle
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    MadamBelle Active member

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    #43 MadamBelle, Mar 8, 2018
    I finally was able to get my sub (husband) to open up with me... I had expectations by his behaviour in the first few months and also by others stories . When schedules changed, our chastity life changed. I think I've had a harder time than him dealing with it and have voiced it... He has been putting the convo off, I think due to my anger that he just stopped when I said I felt like my needs weren't being met . I felt rejected and hurt, he was mad that I was being silly (from his perspective..) so now we decided to write our expectations down and then we are going to talk about it... Make a contract of sorts... I thought because of the deep down honesty that had happened at the beginning, we'd be able to just deal with any disagreement and only need a verbal contact... But when feelings or moods on either side are there, things seemed to go the other way.. we have had almost a month break... Not that long in the scheme of things, but long enough that we are going back. Hopefully sooner than later.. Under a written understanding that will be upheld, and If not, consequences... I miss him having his cage back on, and even though he hasn't voiced it, while just talking about caging him last night, he got a huge erection that I edged for about forty Min.... It was so much fun!!!
     
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  19. Mistress Luscinia
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    Mistress Luscinia Active member

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    #44 Mistress Luscinia, Mar 8, 2018
    Expectations are the root of all disappointment...from my experience.
    It is very important to have good communication all the time, even more so with chastity.
    I have also found that written contracts are a must, at least for me. The reason being, it makes it much easier to go back and remind ourselves of what we committed to when it's on paper. How is one to remember EVERYTHING that is verbally agreed upon?
    I think that is great that you both wrote down what you expect. There may still be some bumps in the road, but hopefully with writing down what you want and expect, and signing a written contract, it will help you both move forward and do better in your roles.

    If you have any questions, or need any help, feel free to message me.

    M L
     
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  20. guest 2942
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    guest 2942 Long term member

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    #45 guest 2942, Mar 8, 2018
    great news! Glad to hear it :)
     
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  21. Mistress Luscinia
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    Mistress Luscinia Active member

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    #46 Mistress Luscinia, Mar 20, 2018
    I wanted to take a minute and say goodbye to you all. I will no longer be frequenting CM.

    I will still be on FL. Feel free to Friend Request/Follow me there if you're on that site.

    Bye to my friends and followers on here. I wish you the best of luck with all areas that you are exploring.

    Bye.

    M L
     
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  22. Beautiful and her footman
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    Beautiful and her footman Long term member

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    #47 Beautiful and her footman, Mar 20, 2018
    It’s sad to see censorship on a web site like this. You will be missed ML.

    -B & f
     
  23. L-u-c-y
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    L-u-c-y
    Staff Member Owner of Chastity Mansion Administrator Verified Female

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    #48 L-u-c-y, Mar 20, 2018
    What censorship is this?
     
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  24. iome343
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    iome343 Long term member

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    #49 iome343, Mar 21, 2018
    Why?
     
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