Beginning a caged life: From the mind of a Mistress

Discussion in 'Novices and newbies' started by Mistress Luscinia, Feb 14, 2018.

  1. Mistress Luscinia
    Offline

    Mistress Luscinia Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2018
    Messages:
    62
    Likes Received:
    448
    Trophy Points:
    53
    Gender:
    Female
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    U.S.
    Local Time:
    9:39 PM
    To the NEWLY caged:

    I have had a large number of newly caged message me with inquiries on what to do next. Here is how I would reply:

    First, you've decided to give male chastity a try. Congratulations. A lot of men would look down their nose at this because they feel they are too good to give up control and be caged.

    Second, you may be wondering what to do next (I've been asked that question quite a lot). There is no cookie-cutter answer for this. This depends on a number of factors, such as:
    - Are you single or in a relationship?
    - If you are in a relationship, does your significant other already know about your desire to be caged?
    - If not, they should.
    - If so, are they on board?
    - If you are single, do you already have a potential Key Holder in mind, or are you out there with ZERO guidance?
    - Do you already have a device? (If so, that's a great start. If not, start shopping)
    - Do you already know at least a few things you like or want to try during this new venture?


    You may think I'm asking a lot of questions. However, these are questions you are going to need to know the answers to at some point to make traction in the chastity lifestyle.

    I won't cover every single possible scenario from the above questions I've asked. And those aren't even all of the questions that will come up. But I will cover some basic things you should know.

    For those of you that are:
    - Single
    - No Keyholder
    - No device

    These are my recommendations:
    1. Research, research, research. Read the forums on here. Google. Check out other websites similar to this one. The more you know, the more you will understand what it is you want, or at least what you want to try. That will make it easier on you and your future Keyholder. I'm not saying you have to know everything in order to start looking for a Keyholder. But having a basic knowledge helps.

    2. Device: Another area you should research. There are so many devices out there. It wouldn't hurt (or at least it shouldn't) to figure out which one is best for you. This is some trial and error. Definite troubleshooting. Not many people have the finances to just purchase a closet full of cages to see which is the best one for them. I suggest, after researching cages, narrow it down to 2 or 3 you want to try based on common knowledge about your own anatomy. You might want to start with the generic/non-name brand devices, as these will be more wallet friendly. Depending where you shop, for less than $100, you could get plastic, metal, and silicone cages (not bad for 3 different types). (Side note: It will be easier for you to start with a Keyholder if you already have a device. However, this is not a must. Some Keyholders like to pick the cage for you.)

    3. Keyholder: This is a little bit of a tricky one. For a few reasons. You can not just pop into a chat room and ask for a Keyholder and expect that's what you'll get. Being a Keyholder is A LOT of work. As a Keyholder, I will not take on any caged person that asks me to. I have specific things, traits, that I am looking for in someone that I'm going to be the Keyholder for. When coming on Chastity Mansion and looking for a Keyholder, I highly recommend going in the chat rooms to get a feel for the people here, posting a thread about what you (as a potential caged sub) are looking for and what you can offer your potential Keyholder. Update your status so people here have an idea about you. Keyholders will have a better idea if you are what they are looking for.
    Also, the other thing you have to think about: Face-to-face vs Virtual
    I personally have a live-in pet, as well as grooming a virtual pet (maybe more pets). But do you personally want someone that you can have some face-to-face time with, or is virtual more your avenue? Or, would you like to practice with virtual before face-to-face? Again, this one is trickier.
    You also have to understand not all Keyholders are the same. That seems obvious, but to some it's not.

    One piece of advice I will give you: OBEDIENCE. No matter which Keyholder you end up having, obedience is a must. If you can't follow directions, you're going to have a difficult time finding a Keyholder that will keep you.
     
  2. Joroincharge
    Offline

    Joroincharge Lock em up - 24/7/365!!

    Joined:
    Mar 10, 2009
    Messages:
    4,021
    Likes Received:
    2,149
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Female
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    England
    Local Time:
    3:39 AM
  3. Mistress Luscinia
    Offline

    Mistress Luscinia Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2018
    Messages:
    62
    Likes Received:
    448
    Trophy Points:
    53
    Gender:
    Female
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    U.S.
    Local Time:
    9:39 PM
    Thank you. You're too kind.
     
  4. ineverknew
    Online

    ineverknew Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 5, 2014
    Messages:
    2,113
    Likes Received:
    1,337
    Trophy Points:
    153
    Gender:
    Male
    Local Time:
    10:39 PM
    Mistress Luscinia likes this.
  5. Mistress Luscinia
    Offline

    Mistress Luscinia Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2018
    Messages:
    62
    Likes Received:
    448
    Trophy Points:
    53
    Gender:
    Female
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    U.S.
    Local Time:
    9:39 PM
    Thank for the tremendous compliment.
     
    ineverknew likes this.
  6. iome343
    Offline

    iome343 Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2016
    Messages:
    166
    Likes Received:
    111
    Trophy Points:
    43
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Italy
    Local Time:
    4:39 AM
    well said!
     
    Mistress Luscinia likes this.
  7. Mistress Luscinia
    Offline

    Mistress Luscinia Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2018
    Messages:
    62
    Likes Received:
    448
    Trophy Points:
    53
    Gender:
    Female
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    U.S.
    Local Time:
    9:39 PM
    Thank you.
     
  8. cumplexity
    Offline

    cumplexity New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2018
    Messages:
    12
    Likes Received:
    23
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    France, Paris
    Local Time:
    4:39 AM
    Thanks a lot for all those advices Madame.
     
    Mistress Luscinia likes this.
  9. sylvana chastity
    Offline

    sylvana chastity just Syl

    Joined:
    Sep 15, 2009
    Messages:
    397
    Likes Received:
    832
    Trophy Points:
    103
    Home Page:
    Local Time:
    3:39 AM
    you've put quite some effort and thought into this - and it worked out really well! Agree with ineverknew - this should be mandatory for newbies!
     
    Mistress Luscinia likes this.
  10. Mistress Luscinia
    Offline

    Mistress Luscinia Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2018
    Messages:
    62
    Likes Received:
    448
    Trophy Points:
    53
    Gender:
    Female
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    U.S.
    Local Time:
    9:39 PM
    You're welcome.
     
  11. Mistress Luscinia
    Offline

    Mistress Luscinia Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2018
    Messages:
    62
    Likes Received:
    448
    Trophy Points:
    53
    Gender:
    Female
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    U.S.
    Local Time:
    9:39 PM
    Once I started receiving several messages asking the same questions, I felt it would be helpful to those just starting out that don't have someone to guide or teach them.

    I was lucky that I had someone to help me. Just trying to "pay it forward".
     
  12. jemmi
    Offline

    jemmi Active Member

    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2016
    Messages:
    241
    Likes Received:
    213
    Trophy Points:
    43
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    southern california, I. E.
    Local Time:
    7:39 PM
    one suggestion i would make if your in the looking for cages stage, there are a large variety of inexpensive cages on ebay, great for trial and error and sizing, ive even beaten and modified mine in my search for size and shape and comfort, so the less expensive, the more playing around with styles you have, just a humble suggestion
     
    Mistress Luscinia likes this.
  13. Beautiful and her footman
    Offline

    Beautiful and her footman Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2018
    Messages:
    163
    Likes Received:
    376
    Trophy Points:
    73
    Local Time:
    9:39 PM
    Amazon and DHGate also have inexpensive cages.

    -the footman
     
  14. Mistress Luscinia
    Offline

    Mistress Luscinia Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2018
    Messages:
    62
    Likes Received:
    448
    Trophy Points:
    53
    Gender:
    Female
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    U.S.
    Local Time:
    9:39 PM
    Thank you for the suggestion.
     
  15. Mistress Luscinia
    Offline

    Mistress Luscinia Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2018
    Messages:
    62
    Likes Received:
    448
    Trophy Points:
    53
    Gender:
    Female
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    U.S.
    Local Time:
    9:39 PM
    Thank you for your suggestions as well.
     
  16. Joan.t
    Offline

    Joan.t Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 2, 2017
    Messages:
    1,195
    Likes Received:
    1,054
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Female
    Occupation:
    Student
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Rio de Janeiro
    Local Time:
    11:39 PM

    • Fantastic thread, it should be pinned on the thread " Introductions" for every new prospective to be caged male to see it as getting the registration on CM.
      I would like to add some thoughts for those that are looking for a Mistress for guidance on how to control male instincts:
      If you want to be chaste, ask yourself why you need and want to be caged. Chastity is a commitment, something to endure for life, not for kicks. Most, if not all, KHs will take their subs very seriously, controlling is a hard task and needs to be rewarded with obedience and reverence;
      Communication: periodic communication, if not daily, is a must, not only for online chastity but also in the real presence, through communication comes trust, which is the most important ingredient for a long and successful relationship. Beyond trusts can also come the blossoming of love of the cagee to the Mistress, the foundation of a true and meaningful reconnaissance that males are meant to be completely devoted to the service of their KHs;
      For those who are single, not having a wife or GF to serve, those who are addicted to wanking, be it weekly, daily or even more, chastity can be a curse and a blessing. In the beginning, you will feel like you will not stand more than a few days, but those who persevere will learn that to be chaste for a long period, let us say, more than ninety days or more, can lead to a life full of the energy that only semen permanently stored and transmuted into energy can provide, energy that all people around will notice and ask why the change. Some chastes will even feel they are blessed with not having any more ejaculative orgasms, a treat which has such positive effects that if more people were aware of this, will follow this lifestyle and abstain of the disgusting habit of throwing out all of their males energy on masturbation.
      Relieving for males can only be allowed by their KH, in her presence and attentive guidance, for her pleasure only.
      So, with all that in mind, if you are a prospective chaste, make your reflection and if you can stand the commitment to be chasted for turning yourself a better human being, being nowadays a helplessness and bewildered male, then it is time to encounter your KH and free yourself from the burden of being a noninitiated slave of your instincts.
      The caring command and guidance of a knowingly dominant woman can evolve any male into a superior consciousness being through serving and submitting.

     
  17. frankie teardrop
    Offline

    frankie teardrop Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 3, 2014
    Messages:
    445
    Likes Received:
    353
    Trophy Points:
    73
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Service Industry
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Oz
    Local Time:
    3:39 AM
    Yes, the basis of the tantric techniques of semen retention is the male learning to conserve his energy rather than use it wastefully. Although CM is concerned largely with chastity devices, whether real or imagined, they actually aren't necessary for any male serious about staying the course, especially if there is a woman present to guide, teach and encourage him through the difficult times.

    For us it's about moving closer to the Feminine Divine and all that entails, but that might be another discussion entirely.

    There really ought to be no pressure on the wish to succeed, nobody is ever going to be an expert in 2 weeks. Failing once in a while is all part of the process. It's a feeling like no other, though, when you gradually arrive at levels of control you thought were impossible.
     
    Mistress Luscinia and Joan.t like this.
  18. Ma'at Rebekah
    Offline

    Ma'at Rebekah Active Member

    Joined:
    Jun 20, 2017
    Messages:
    167
    Likes Received:
    111
    Trophy Points:
    43
    Local Time:
    9:39 PM
    love the eyes wide open approach.... well done
     
    Mistress Luscinia likes this.
  19. Joan.t
    Offline

    Joan.t Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 2, 2017
    Messages:
    1,195
    Likes Received:
    1,054
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Female
    Occupation:
    Student
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Rio de Janeiro
    Local Time:
    11:39 PM
    An interesting discussion, by the way. Anyone interested?
    When the male has a woman near to be his guide, enforced chastity with a device is not necessarily, the feminine mystique will be the leader of the process. But in many cases the woman is not present and an online Mistress is the solution, albeit a rather clipped one, that needs a lot of effort from both sides to succeed.
     
  20. jemmi
    Offline

    jemmi Active Member

    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2016
    Messages:
    241
    Likes Received:
    213
    Trophy Points:
    43
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    southern california, I. E.
    Local Time:
    7:39 PM
    Very well s
    Very Well said Miss Joan
     
    Mistress Luscinia and Joan.t like this.
  21. Mistress Luscinia
    Offline

    Mistress Luscinia Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2018
    Messages:
    62
    Likes Received:
    448
    Trophy Points:
    53
    Gender:
    Female
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    U.S.
    Local Time:
    9:39 PM
    Agreed.
     
    slave_m, Joan.t and jemmi like this.
  22. LadyMoon
    Offline

    LadyMoon Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 22, 2017
    Messages:
    125
    Likes Received:
    321
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Gender:
    Female
    Occupation:
    Writer
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    DFW, Texas
    Local Time:
    9:39 PM
    Thank you for these incredibly practical tips.

    As someone else on the KH side of things, I wish more guys went into this with the realization of how much work they're asking someone to do. And also, having a clearer idea of what they're hoping to get out of an online experience when they ask for one.

    Brava!
     
    MadamBelle, softy, slave_m and 2 others like this.
  23. cumplexity
    Offline

    cumplexity New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2018
    Messages:
    12
    Likes Received:
    23
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    France, Paris
    Local Time:
    4:39 AM
    Thanks a lot Joan.T.
    That very interesting to learn about experienced women.
    after reading you post, for the first time in my life, i was wondering all night long how I could stay 90 days without erection or ejaculation. It seems like an impossible sensual and sexual experience to me.
    BUT... do we really need cage to do that? It' seems to be a mental wish and a strong decision to follow.

    My mind is in trouble...
     
    Mistress Luscinia likes this.
  24. rebeccacd404
    Offline

    rebeccacd404 2018 is going to be a year of chastity and denial!

    Joined:
    Sep 20, 2017
    Messages:
    397
    Likes Received:
    480
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Occupation:
    Distribution
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    uk
    Local Time:
    3:39 AM
    This is an interesting thread, you often read how hard it is to be caged, pardon the expression....lol, but I think the role of a KH is perhaps sometimes taken a little for granted. It must be very time consuming and draining to be on the receiving end of constant moaning sissies and if the KH has more than one slave....at different developments.....well its almost a full time job! I never realized the depth of commitment and time given to a slave was before....I understand so much more now and try to think of my KH and not just myself. It is a lifestyle change and must be taken seriously, I can see the reasons why and can understand much more than when I first started. KH's and Mistresses you all deserve so much more than we can give......but I promise I will keep trying!
     
    Joan.t and Mistress Luscinia like this.
  25. Mistress Luscinia
    Offline

    Mistress Luscinia Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2018
    Messages:
    62
    Likes Received:
    448
    Trophy Points:
    53
    Gender:
    Female
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    U.S.
    Local Time:
    9:39 PM
    I completely agree.
     
    slave_m likes this.
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice