Ask us!! :)

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  1. Guest 8927
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    Guest 8927 Active member

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    I did post this in the crossdressing and it's variations forum, but thought I might open it here. Hope it's ok. I really don't know how It all works, or if the people will see it over there.

    Still, ours is a true FLR, and so outside of the fact that I'm Her sissy, we still love to discuss relationship things. Go on, you chasties. Fire away. Nothing mean spirited please.

    My post there was:


    Why, hello there. Yesterday I asked my wonderful Goddess Violet if She would participate in a bit of a kiki with the other people on the Mansion. We both get DMs asking us questions quite often.

    Remember please - I am not permitted DMs as part of my submission to my Goddess, and She doesn't particularly care to speak with any of you in DM form. (She is quite open to speaking with other females that way)

    (in case you didn't get the message, don't DM either of us)

    But, you can ask us anything you'd like. Please be respectful of Her.

    A bit about us, we met close to 5 years ago, and are engaged to be married. I am in training to become Her permanent sissy house husband, under Her guidance

    Our first date was as masc me and it was the best date I have ever been on. We fell deeply in love in very short order, but as each other's twin flame. We have a very sweet, and loving relationship and often sit up talking and laughing all night. She's my person, and I am Hers.

    It took me about 8 months to confess to Her that I am trans, but have no intention of taking hormones or having surgeries, and instead of having the ingrained need to become a woman, I have the need to be more like Natalie Mars, or my Goddesses fav shemale, Kacey Kisses. I explained going so far into the fantasy at one point as to go into sexwork as an income. At the time I had around 2500 follower/friends on FetLife. All leery men who wanted to fuck my brains out. I explained being bisexual at certain points.

    I was who originally introduced the concepts of FLR, Femdom, sissies, sissy maids, chastity, and BDSM. She has taken to them as fantasies, and they now are Hers too. She is my (I always like reminding Her of these) Dominatrix, Feminatrix, Chasteatrix, Key Holder, Cell Warden, and Natural Authority. I do what she tells me to. It's how and why our relationship works so well.

    We have a legally binding Femdom FLR Contract that is about 5 pages long. Last night, so that She could rest, She locked me to our basement stairs, and had me sleep in Her cellalum. (prison cell we built in the basement for me). I was in chastity and dressed in my sissy nightwear.

    She understands us, so, I asked Her to come and chat with all of you in an open, and respectful way. I did tell Her it would be funny, but also interesting in hearing the stuff you guys bring up. We are still learning as well.

    So, you can't DM me, but I can talk here. She is willing to come in, on Her timeline (being the Leader in our household is a busy job for Her) and add in comments. If any of your wives/GFS care to join in or ask, they too will be treated with respect. You can discuss all things sissy, Femdom, Bdsm, chastity, FLR, She doesn't like ageplay, abdl, at all. Please leave those alone.

    There you go. Let's chat. :)

    Go ahead...Ask us!

    M.
     
  2. SubSnuggler
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    SubSnuggler Owned by Fiona with the Magical Velveteen Pussy

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    How did you two meet? Was it in a kink setting or just happen organically?
     
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  3. Guest 8927
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    Yay!!! Hi. We've been checking for a reply and wondering why nobody has.

    My Goddess may be here to respond as well. We met with me masc and vanilla, at a cute little cafe, after meeting through a dating site. We dated for 8 wonderful months before I confessed everything to Her. In it, came to found out how open She is.
     
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  4. Nicole Smith
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    Nicole Smith Snarky Trans Girly Seeking Keyholder

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    Oooo! Well, this being a chastity website and all, how do you work that into your relationship? Was it gradually introduced more so over time? Is it more a "every Saturday night if you're good" sort of arrangement?
     
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  5. Guest 8927
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    I'm leaving this one for Her. She will be here at some point. Thanks! She knows everything about sissy femdom, but has never really talked about it with anyone but me.
     
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    #6 Guest 2217, Sep 20, 2021
    Last edited: Sep 20, 2021
    Hi Nicole,

    Thank you so much for taking the time to read and ask a question here. Also, I wouldn't say my feelings were being "hurt", but I do have a very overactive mind, always analyzing and over-analyzing things, so mentioned to My M that maybe we were being black-balled at the Mansion for causing discord? My thought.

    Anyway... lol

    M was definitely the initiator of chastity in our relationship, and while I'm struggling to remember the very first time I locked up her cock, it was a slow start and gradual increase over time to build up to where W/we are at now.

    Like everything else regarding her desires, fetishes, dreams and other interests in all things alt (I'll put it simply), she started slow, by either bringing things up in conversations or an email with not a lot of detail, more of a concept. Then she would open it up to me to engage in.

    After bringing up chastity, and me discovering some of her previous devices in her belongings that she brought to my house at my request, she would tell me stories of using them on herself, mailing herself the key once and how it wasn't a truly organic situation. But, it was the best she could emulate at the time, on her own.

    Before she moved in with me, just over two years ago now, we had decided to try a little longer term chastity play. Up until this point, I belive (and she can correct me if I'm wrong) we only did it for BDSM/sex play; especially if I was going to be using My strap-on to take her.

    There was a time I recall that she was tied up to the ceiling in My basement, dressed, gagged, shackled and of course, chastised, that I used My strap-on (that I had bought her as a gift to signify that I was ready to take this next step), and she orgasmed, just a little, through My device. I was delighted. she was shocked!

    I then decided to play, after some discussion, with longer lock-up periods. The first, I belive, was the year before she moved in for My first Locktober. There were safety measures and parameters in place (which is ALWAYS of upmost importance to me, especially), a key was placed in a locked container, which I had the password for, and she was sent back to where she was living with a friend at the time (who is very masc, and M would never present in front him of at his house). It was our little secret, kept under panties that I long since insisted that she wore all of the time, including when she wasn't with me.

    It was only later, and I mean a year maybe, that she confessed to me that she could easily slip out of the device, take care of "business" and slip back into it easily after. Upon hearing this I was actually quite upset, because; one, I didn't know she could slip out so easily (being fairly well endowed), two, that the honor system was taken advantage of, and three, that she was having all these orgasms without my permission! Especially when she wasn't supposed to be able to! I'm sure you can imagine my disappointment and frustration...

    I then started taking it more seriously from My end, and kept pushing to have her in chastity a little longer each time. When she was sent to work, I had her wear a pink device that was cute, but not at all functional for what I wanted; which was inescapability.

    Soon after that feeble device broke (A sign?), and I started using a Rikers-style device (one that was purchased after she showed me some options in an email and some discussion and investigation on my part). And that's what I use today.

    It was put into My Femdom sissy Contract, for her, that I would be purchasing a device and locking her up at My will. This was in odd-June of 2019. Since then, we have played around with length of time, trying to be conscientious of real life where these things just do not play in at all, health (both O/our mental and physical), and how it was working, generally, overall.
    I had told her that I didn't want to do these types of things if I found no pleasure or gratification in it for Myself, which I think is fair, especially being her Domme... My needs always come first.

    It took some time, and some pratfalls, to figure out what worked and what didn't. This also included what type of lubrication I would allow her to use and getting used to the device (building up stamina to stay in longer and longer, from her end) to where W/we are now. Which, as of this July 1st, is full-time. Period. It is My discretion to unlock her, or if she uses O/our agreed upon safe word.

    Now, to me, it's odd and I find it out of place when she's not in one of My devices. It is my preference. My choice. My ultimate decision. she is a player in My little world now, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

    The only things I don't like about it are; she absolutely ruins any lace-front panties (so I invested in some proper sissy panties) and when I want PIV sex, I get frustrated that after I remove My device, she has to take time to go clean up (I insist as well), pee, then get erect. It is taking longer and longer after being locked up for extended periods of time... Despite how turned on I know she is mentally.

    I'm working on solutions, though. I make sure I'm taken care of first, and she lives under the threat that if it takes her too long, I'll just lock her back up. I've even threatened to throw away the key at that point, making her use other ways to satisfy Me, including but not limited to, using a strap-on to pleasure Me.

    I hope this answers your questions.

    Regards,
    Goddess Violet
     
  7. true42
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    I sense a lot of love in your relationship, and it is a beautiful thing.
     
  8. Nicole Smith
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    Nicole Smith Snarky Trans Girly Seeking Keyholder

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    Hi Goddess Violet,

    I have a second question if that's okay? Monnica is a very happy, lovely girl (who adores you!) and in full-time since chastity since July 1st. I feel like either you cast a spell on her or you really understand people.

    What interpersonal skills make your relationship work? Is it empathy and trust? Is it more a deep connection? A supportive, strong personality? A shoulder to cry on? Clear rules and boundaries?

    The reason I ask is because a local gentleman is very interested in becoming my keyholder. I'm finding chastity (1 week so far) does wonders for my mood, calms me and got me into a nice little happy place. There are bound to be rough patches... patches you've helped Monnica through.

    Any insight would be welcome. There's no rush!

    Nicole
     
  9. SubSnuggler
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    SubSnuggler Owned by Fiona with the Magical Velveteen Pussy

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    My Wife dislikes the wait for PIV as well. There would be this delay during intimacy where we are all like *Hole up gotta unlock subsnuggler* and then back to fun stuff.

    Nowadays she will just hand me the key and tell me to unlock before intimacy starts. With my device I can get unlocked and removed pretty quickly, so it can still be a 'spur of the moment' thing for Her.

    It's surprising how ya'll met and went to such a kink place so fast. That's a remarkable journey in just a few years. I think you both are remarkably lucky to have found each other. Lets face it, our kinks are not mainstream :D
     
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    Thank you very much. I believe it is as well... W/we are both, not so much lucky (as some put it), but fortunate, to have found one another.

    ~GV
     
  11. madams-sissysub
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    I agree!
     
  12. Guest 8927
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    Yay! I'm happy and thank you for being respectful of my Goddess. I'm excited for Her to get to chat with others and hear your thoughts as well.

    Kiki!!! Spill the tea. If you have sexual specific questions that pertain to your journey, please share. We love it, and it gives us ideas for discussion as well.

    M
     
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    #13 Guest 2217, Sep 20, 2021
    Last edited: Sep 20, 2021
    Nicole,

    Haha... you mean second, third, fourth, fifth, six, and seven-ish questions, by My count. -lol

    I appreciate you taking the time to read what I wrote. I find nothing quite as infuriating as making a lengthy remark, response or anything in write form, and then have people ask questions that I know (!) I've already spoken to. *ahem* Can you imagine someone asking Tolkien where Frodo resides? Or Napoleon to whom it was he was writing his love letters? Not at all to compare myself to these literary giants, just a thought.

    As for your new questions, which I'm happy to answer as best I can:

    #1 ~ Yes, of course it's okay to ask. (That's why M wanted to start this thread, with My permission, of course.) I don't mind at all so long as the questions are not asked disrespectfully, kept on subject and are not intended to be fodder against Myself or my sissy at any point.

    #2 - #6 ~ That's a lot to answer, but I'll do my best, and try not go on too long. Myself and M have a foundation of love, trust, respect, fun, humor and a deep adoration for the other.

    W/we had both been through the wringer in our lives before meeting one another (I spoke to this briefly in my introduction). W/we'd endured abuse from parental figures and guardians, spouses (more Me), and even in O/our professional lives...

    W/we were fortunate to find each other when and how we did.

    W/we connected quickly and found a deep level of understanding and compassion in the other for our own, individual, eccentricities and proclivities; it just happened that hers were more kinky and dark and twisted than mine were. Mine are more internal demons that I've always tried to control and hide away, rather than finding better, healthier ways to let them out in "controlled doses", as M puts is.

    My way of coping was by giving into neurosis and OCD behaviors, hers were more developed sexual release strategies, which I'm trying now to incorporate into My being and betterment of Self.

    W/we both knew we had a lot to offer a partner, W/we just hadn't found the right person; the right puzzle piece, to fit our very individualistic identities. Past partners had tried to snuff mine out, control Me through abuse, hers didn't get it, some didn't want to, and some simply couldn't. I can. And, I do.

    I use compassion and reasoning in nearly every decision I make, especially those of a personal nature, and more and more for Myself as I age. I believe this is why I can be accepting, not just tolerating, of the alt things and proposals that M has brought into O/our relationship and world.

    But, as we progress in O/our relationship, W/we talk and W/we learn. W/we grow. As individuals, W/we grow, and as supportive partners to each other, on and in any side that W/we choose to present and show the world. And, after W/ we're done talking, W/we either email one another (more her than Me, she has an online "sissy journal" that she writes in and sends to me frequently) or talk some more.

    W/we ask questions. W/we're open and respectful of one another's thoughts, feelings, opinions and all things mental, emotional and physical that can be affected by this type of relationship.

    Being open and communicative is paramount. But, you have to go into that with love, a willingness to be open, understanding and compassionate, or, and this is My opinion, it simply will NOT work.

    #7 ~ Yes. Absolutely. We have rules, guidelines and boundaries. I know both of U/us have mentioned My Contract, and I'm not going to give copious amounts of detail on that, as it's private and intimate.

    I wrote it up, after many, many discussions and a couple of FLR online workshops (that M has spoken to), and W/we've both signed it. It's a living document, using O/our real names, the only thing it's not, is notarized. -lol I also alter and add to it, not taking anything away, but tweaking it as W/we move forward, which W/we both sign to again.

    There are consequences, identified in My Contract, that are put in place if she does not follow the points as they were written and agreed to. Neither of U/us do any of this unwillingly, despite some of it being referred to as "forced".

    And, most importantly, blackmail. I have a video confession of M (presenting as male, and then female) and other pictures and such that I would have no issue using to "out" her (and Myself as well) if she abused what I freely give her or hurt Me in any sort of way (not agreed upon), going outside of the confines of O/our relationship.

    And ... oh how W/we laugh, joke and carry on... lol It's truly one of the best parts.

    Regards,
    Goddess Violet
     
  14. Guest 8927
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    Yeah, credit to Her on that. At the very beginning She had never heard of a sissy, chastity, sissy maids, forced feminization, or anything like that, nor had She dated a trans person. It's been a learning curve but one we put a lot into, and yes, have had our failings as we have progressed. FLR is a complete investment into a new journey together, and one we are adapting into, rather than just snapping our fingers and saying: Ok, go!

    We rarely if ever argue this way. We both laugh and sing and play around, chat for hours on end. It's just been a very easy transition for both of us to try to grow into.


    And, thank you for the commentary. :)
     
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    I know you asked Her, and She answered. But still, my thought is definitely dominance. The more Dominant She can be, the easier it is for me. The more submissive I can be in return, helps Her cope with a life of not having typical relationship issues. She's very into control, but a little apprehensive in being afraid to go too far. (in which, of course, I poke and prod at Her inner workings a lot to get Her to try to push further and set the bar as to where the line of going too far is further ahead of where She feels it is now)

    Which isn't always easy. It's hard to teach somebody that by treating you poorly, you feel love, trust, adoration and commitment. But I do. Everyone here does to an extent. (subs)


    Btw, congrats on the Gentleman. Hopefully he is giving back, engaging and absolutely dominant with you in the ways that you need, in return for your submission and dedication to Him.

    M.
     
  16. Nicole Smith
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    Nicole Smith Snarky Trans Girly Seeking Keyholder

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    @Goddess Violet Thank you so much for taking the time to write 1,851 words. 1,851! My only comment would be make the blackmail and keys a package deal. If one goes, they both go. (Don't do that!)

    @Pretty Monnica I really hope this gentleman can even half as as open, engaging, communicative and insightful as you two have been. Time will tell if he's serious and real or just another frog to kiss.

    Nicole
     
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  17. Xileh
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    @Pretty Monnica you said that you introduced @Goddess Violet to your kinks after 8 months into your relationship. This is a pretty common topic of discussion. You both seem to be very happy. Would you use the same approach again? Thanks!
     
  18. Guest 8927
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    God no.

    I mishandled our deal on several fronts. So, I was so into this stuff I went from an alpha male job to working in sex work using my tranny likeness and was really transitioning hard. I had a very large background of really creepy dudes in various places all over the internet. I did do some good things as Monnica, supportive blogs and messaging, I had a network of tranny friends. I don't play with my own kind. I just don't like it. We were helpful to each other. Gal pals.

    When I met my Goddess I knew after a few weeks together, I had to tell Her, and that it was a deal breaker.

    The 8 months we fell in love during prior were the best of my entire life. I hated that I wasn't telling Her, waiting on the perfect moment. I became afraid to lose that.

    I was still managing Monnica online, but wasn't dressing at that time.

    When I told Her I tried the break Her in slow, and started by explaining I was trans.

    She discovered my online persona, and it almost ended then. In trying to be honest, I showed Her my fet life, where I played with men in DMs for fun.

    But we just had so much it endured.

    If I knew what I know now about Her, I probably would have told Her on a date we had about a month in and stayed up all night talking afterward.
     
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    I'm sorry, I've only had time to read and not respond again the last couple of days... know that I didn't forget, I promise I won't, but... I am one busy Goddess playing with my sissy this week, and doing things daily to celebrate her upcoming 50th BIRTHDAY!!!

    ~GV
     
  20. true42
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    Y'all might be my new favorite couple. I am glad that you are taking the time to share. Particularly in the trans space, it seems like a horribly lonely area, relatively devoid of good material and helpful support for someone trying to figure things out. Your humanity as a couple shines through, and that transforms all of those scary unknowns into perfectly normal human problems that we all have to deal with. That's quite a gift you two have!

    You have found a way to define your relationship with love and humanity, as opposed to allowing any space for your relationship to be defined by what someone from the outside might prejudicially read into it on their own (as we are all wont to do, me included). I am cheering for you.

    And, Happy Birthday! :)
     
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    Love this bit - is it because Goddess Violet has the TPE over Sissy Monica?

    I've a long distance relationship with my domme that has really been impacted by Covid. We rarely play over distance,it has to be real time between us. Like you, Mistress has her insurance policy over me Inc some very non flattering pictures of me in chastity and her underwear and often bound/gagged in someway.

    When I'm with her, she's continually teasing me about my lack of manhood, how I might look if my friends saw me now, a few more piccs for memory lane - she's always quick to tell me she's uploaded them to the web - so no chance of me deleting them just on her phone.

    Often at night it's a lot of foot, body, intimate tongue servicing in the secure knowledge that as long as I confirm (more obey) then we both can have fun - the thought of displeasing her makes me even more submissive and she takes the power she has over me extremely seriously and now , totally non negotiable. I'm at her mercy which she loves ....and how she laughs , and I, sometimes cry.
     
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    It really brings to light that having fun, as "the" reason why D/s is at play. And yes, it's very fun for us.

    For the benefit of my Goddess, "TPE" is the acronym for Total Power Exchange. It refers to the idea of 24/7, versus for example, a submissive only being submissive in certain entities, like during sex, etc. (Which She knows what is, but doesn't always know the acronym form)

    And yes, my devious, and very fun Domme does enjoy placing me into unique scenarios for Her enjoyment, and we really never suspend Her control within it. The two of us together, absolutely love and enjoy each other, and in all we do, have the ability to laugh out loud.

    Thanks for the comment. Never take yourself too seriously.

    M.
     
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    Thank you, and what a kind compliment.

    I go after these dirty little sissies to communicate, for the reason you have described. I of course, was a dude in my life that wanted to wear women's clothes, but was afraid of exposure, and so tended to stay inward.

    I think the biggest problem with them not answering back, is that the allure of porn and stimulation outweighs the need to do things like make friends, talk to others, find support emotionally. So, I do see a bunch of them, and they don't engage, but the message is there for them. None of us have to be alone, and you can make friends that you don't worry about fucking.

    Thanks for the birthday wish. A very good time was had by all. ;)
     
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    Hi SubSnuggler,

    I know you didn't ask a question, but I wanted to thank you for sharing what works for you and your Partner and for your comments.

    I don't like to use the word "lucky" when it comes to my sissy and I, I prefer to use the term fortunate, it seems more fitting.

    W/we both were so beaten down by the world when W/we found one another, it felt like it was on a whim, a last-ditch effort, a hope and a prayer... I would even go so far as to say it's the same for Pretty Monnica. I've said a few times to her, and to friends and family, if this (relationship) doesn't work, I'm closing the door on men.

    And... oddly... look who walked in. Ha ha.

    W/we'd both been in two major relationships in O/our lives (plus other minor), she had been married twice prior and in the second marriage had a child. I had been married once in my 20's (and divorced) and had two children with my last partner (never married) in my 30's. These experiences change you, change how you want to live your life, what you look for in a(nother) partner, what you are looking for for yourself, how you want to move forward.

    M and I were both very honest, right up front, in a lot of ways, the only thing left out (at first) was the tranny/gender fluidity part, which was divulged at around eight months. And while it was mostly new to me, I consider Myself a kind, caring, open, compassionate individual, so I took her hand while she let me into a world that I now Dominate in. It's My world. Happily.

    W/we connected so well, right from the beginning, and if I were to use My past as any sort of guideline, by comparison, what M was offering was harmless and fun, intimate and loving; kinky and exciting, something W/we could share and build on. Which is exactly what W/we're doing.

    Hope to see more of you around the Mansion.

    Regards,
    Goddess Violet
     
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  25. karent_50
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    karent_50 Junior Member

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    Violet and Monnica,

    No question at this time. I've been following both of your posts for a while now and wanted to compliment and congratulate you both. How fortunate that you've found each other, and that you mesh so well with your personal lives and kink lives. I like that you're both so open and vocal here, supplying genuine information, insight, and guidance to the members here, new and old, novice and experienced. I wish you both a long happy life together

    I may pose questions or comments the future.

    Karen
     
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