Are you a dominant bottom?

I am a very submissive bottom.

 

Yes well put

 

I've read over this post many many times and at first I disagreed with you. But the more I look at my life and how our relationship is I'm not 100% submissive in every aspect of our life ( maintaining a lively hood ) this causes difficulties at some times with our home and me being submissive to my Wife. Thank you for your view point.

 

Everyone is what they are. A wise dominant always takes cues and suggestions from her submissive. Also, it's a mistake for submissive to view his role passively -- as if he is just a private in the army. A submissive really needs to bring himself to the table.

 

This is something i am struggling with right now. I am a very dominant person, i am foreman at work and up until recently, have been topping from the bottom. My wife has finally come to see this and has been very firm in starting to stamp that out, specifically in this round of lockup. Yesterday i was needy, grumpy, withdrawn and struggling with my sudden loss of the little control i had left. I never worried about days locked before because i knew i could convince Her to release me. Not this time. She is steadfast in her resolve and is even adding days for the slightest thing.
I thought about it long and hard yesterday, and that was the source of my angst, i lost that last bit of power and it definately affected me. Accepting this dynamic is going to be tough i think, but hearing her pleasuable sighs while i rub her and seeing the ear to ear grin when i am pleasing her is what will get me over this hump. I hope

 

All kinds of things two (ore maybe even more) consensual adults do with/to/for another are fine for me, as long as it suits them well - but apart from that I don't intend talking too much about my bottom in public!

 

Labels are impotant some and the roles expected of the within that label but that's not for everyone, or at least not fitting into a perticular one or possibly more at al times.

I have been and remain open to most suggestions. I have tried many things and found some I liked more than others some less not really anything I hated. I've tried various roles and being in relationships where I have combined some roles. Played with things and ideas I've since left behind.

Its never a bad thing to indulge yourself once in a while if something appeals to you sometimes then that's between you and yours. Do whatever with whoever whenever if everyone in anyway involved is aware an consenting.

Yes I am currently locked and being denied I am into that or I wouldn't be on CM but being so inclined neither defines or limits my possible present of future interests. I used to regularly top one of my past KHs and usually but not always remaining locked and sometimes denied sometimes not. There was no confussion no dificulties arising. We were just two people that enjoyed each other. Thats an essential part of how I want relationships work for me and my SO.

I'm a Chameleon in a sense I suppose. In that when I have a partner I do first and foremost want to please her, make her special and feel it too. Make her feel appreciated and wanted. I will let where she at any given time places herself on the kink spectrum influence where I place myself. Not that I would let a relationship make me lose myself entirely. Like anyone else I have my wants needs aspirations and desires & fantasies too. So sometimes I will try and guide things the way I want to go without losing sight of anything. If she wants to go that way cool and if not then well there's other times.

I've never really explored me being submissive but we are looking at it, as this term of denial gets longer I feel I can go there a little ..who knows . But if she wanted to do the same for her I could happily do that too...take it turns even ..who knows ..you find a way to work it out.

There's a term on Fetlife ... Kinkster.. that seems a good one for me if I ever need a label that'll do me.

 

An insightful piece by @L-u-c-y (Partner) and so prolific in most D/s, Chastity etc lifestyles. Ok, I know for many starting out, encouraging and helping the female to adopt and adapt her own life and views to meet those of her loved one, tends to generate bottom domination. But IMHO, a point should be reached where a real power exchange occurs, thus ending any bottom domination. From then on in, the male's life is at the behest of the female he agreed to defer to. Bask seat drivers can be very annoying and tbh, a real confidence blocker.

 

im not allow to drive but i have pass the test but we goes a lot by taxis as well.

 

please Mistress when i did ask She sayed i migt bash it up cos She say i go a bit fast.

 

I lured my wife into BDSM and then chastity and cuckolding. I was in the lead at first but over time she's asserted more control - choosing lovers who make me uncomfortable, keeping me locked up for longer and teasing me more, letting me fuck her a bit on the rare occasions I'm unlocked but evicting me from her pussy before I can come, etc. I'm totally charmed, though it took some getting used to.

 

What do you think about the possibility that there are certain instances or relationships that would dictate the role of the person in question? I know some pretty ruthless men that come home and are completely submissive to their wives. I myself swim in different pools as a necessity to survive. Can you be truly submissive in every part of your life and find happiness?

To take things a step further, what if there are different circumstances within a relationship where the ship would sink if the right person wasn’t in charge in specific moments?

Personally, I think it’s not easy to pick a swim lane to stay in full time but I believe that love, courtesy and trust account for a lot. Maybe “time” too? It also helps if your dominant partner is capable of making better decisions than you.

 

Before I got up the nerve to begin exploring some things with a professional dominant--way back when--I'd read a lot, fantasized a lot and watched my share of videos. So I had heard a lot of the words: dominant, submissive, lifestyle, the list can go on. And related to them in a basic way, particularly the feelings that I was "submissive." At there point there were mental scenes I could play in how I imagined or thought I'd like an encounter to follow.

When I finally had the opportunity, means and the nerve to consult a professional dominant I'm not going to say I had written a screenplay on how things would or should "play out" but that was the way young and dumb work.

Surprise, surprise. Our first meeting was just talking. Her getting to know more about me and me getting a chance to know her better. General likes, dislikes, fantasies, what I considered limits to be and the like. It was only after two meetings (dinner and drinks allowed when you're just talking) that she agreed to a "let's try a few things and see how it goes" session. I sort of had an idea of some things to expect--bondage was my big thing in my mind at least at the time. And that was a big part. No script but it flowed and from my perspective if time flies when you're having fun is true I had a ball. It was over too quickly.

It's make a long story short time. We developed a friendship and I learned a lot both about the lifestyle and myself along the way. I was lucky. She was mature, experienced, very active in the local scene and even arranged a meeting with a friend who I had an almost year long relationship with.

Dominant submissive is a new one to me. But i can see where at some point or for how things work for some people it's an appropriate description. Once again the beauty of the lifestyle: as long as everyone is on the same page and what they're doing is working for them then life is good.

 

I was in a FLR from the age of 18 when I went away to university, the Domme who I was trained by was a mature student on my course. I had messed about with cuffs and being tied up with my girlfriend from the age of 15. But I was basically a blank canvas and as such my Mistress "Samantha" made it pretty clear that while we may do some of the things she knew I enjoyed, my role was to please her not myself. This has carried on throughout my time in the LS and I don't ever ask for the Superior to do any specific kinks for me, although they have still done some of the things that are high on my favourites list, because the Domme has asked for my kinks. My pleasure and happiness comes from making my Mistress happy