Are such feelings normal when in chastity?

Nervous, yes. Irritable, no. Unless I feel forgotten, which seldom happens.

 

Irritability starts, for me, when my wife's interest wanes.

 

I might have felt like this back in the day, but i eventually learned that was not productive and usual just delayed my eventual release.

asa

 

I agree! I used to feel like to begin with, but it will pass!

 

Not at all. We both noticed how much calmer I have been.

 

As Me Lovely and I ventured into this journey, I did feel nervous, and I thought everyone in the world could see my bulge. Now that we are 500+ days locked over the last three years and on track for 365 days locked in 2022, the nerves have calmed. I think time is the only cure to curb the nerves of thinking everyone can see the slight shape of a cage under my jeans, what if I get caught, what if someone bumps into my groin, what if my kids walk into the bathroom when I'm taking a shower (this one still weighs heavily on my mind and I do everything to in my power to prevent it).

The cage is now part of my body, and I feel unnatural without it. I love being a servant to my wife, and the cage is a significant motivating factor to my submissiveness to Me Lovely. It takes time, but life outside the cage is now less "normal" than life inside it. I often wonder if I will be locked until the day I die. I will leave that up to Me, Lovely, but my cage may be the last thing left on the table among my ashes as I am cremated. I wonder if any morticians can say they've experienced that? Hmm...

 

You work through the one month barrier.
It takes about that time for your hormones and mental state to settle down.
Persevere, because once you get through it, you end up in a much better place, calm and in a state of continual gentle arousal.

I find the worst time of any lockup period is around the 3 and 4 week mark, once past that, it's easy for however long it is.

 

Thanks for asking! For me, this really dates to the last time i climaxed without Mistress' permission or knowledge. We call these "mistakes" and i remember that even while the orgasm was still pulsing through my caged cock, guilt and frustration took over. I had asked Her to be my Keyholder and here i was violating that, as if it didn't matter. So since then (825 days and counting) i have tried to keep my focus on playing by the rules that we agreed to. Submission is as submission does, right?

asa

 

Nervous and sexually frustrated were common. However, easily irritated didn’t enter into the picture because it simply would have made her less willing to use the key. If you had a chronic masturbation problem I could see it being rough getting past that (similar to quitting smoking). If your keyholder teases you and gives you plenty of opportunities to please her I would think you’ll settle in. No one like to be locked and forgotten.

 

Same here

 

For me it's the combination of what's between my ears and what's between my thighs.

Or more plainly, the sort of sexual frustration that leads to agitation or irratibilty is affected by biological drive and intellectual arrousal. My body will adapt to denial (even long term), but it's a struggle if I'm frequently working myself up with porn, fixated on some fantasy, or if my KH is keeping me more spun up than I can handle.

 

In my case, I am not in a good mood for a week after a couple of days after I get locked. Also I can not deal with my horniness if I don't have any sexual action for over a week. Ofcourse I don't mean sex with my package involved but any other kind of sex.
I can not be ignored for more than 5-6 days or my mood turns into black thoughts.
I can not control my mood without sex.
I am trying to explain my beloved wife and keyholder that sex is not like mortgage instalment. It's not like if you pay your monthly one you are free for the rest of the month.
She needs to have me constantly in action for everything to work the way it supposed to.
I gave up my orgasms and direct satisfaction but my sex drive and pation for her has not changed.
On the other hand while aftre this week I am in action, only a touch of her and the butterfly in my stomach is fired up.

 

I am always trying to be on my best behavior even if I'm anxious or upset. I think its because I don't want to have to extend my time before my next release.

 

i think i agree with you

 

Same here then bang she hits me with something I was never expecting

 

I can relate, While I have been playing with chastity for 15 years I still struggle. We recently had a LONG break from chastity and about a month ago I have been 24/7 locked but with weekly sex with orgasm.

Its been about 8 day since my last orgasm and mistress has been having some troubles with work so is not really interested in anything sex related (this week).

My shoulders are tight and I feel angry about things.

Last night I told mistress how I was feeling and at first that didn't start out too well because she immediately got her back up and told me to go take the cage off !! but I explained that I understood why she wasn't in the mood and that I wasn't asking for anything I was just communicating. We ended up having a good talk and she rubbed my very tight strung shoulders for a while. It really helped how I was feeling just to talk it through.

I went on to say to her...literally this happened last night, that I was going to suggest next time we have sex that I shouldn't cum, because I felt this is something I need to push through, that it was sort of like an addiction that I have to work through if we were going to make this chastity thing work this time.

I must admit I already feel apprehensive about asking her to not let me cum next time...I know immediately after I will feel better just for having being with her while she has her pleasure...but I wonder if this feeling will subside that eventually my brain will have control over what seems to be a different part of me that I have no conscious control over.

I know I want this to work, and I feel i should have better control over these feelings that develop, but it can only be described as being addicted to orgasm and coming off that addition. Attention from Mistress helps , and I have had my butt paddled at least 3 times this week...the pain definitely helps.

But being in chastity shouldn't result in me becoming more annoying and wanting more, I know it in my mind but my body just doesn't understand.

I remember reading some stories about there being an initial period of 3 months no release I always thought that was horse shit (even tho I still found the thought of it ironically arousing)...but there might be some truth to it, just to get over that addiction...but I sure hope its not THAT long before I can feel that calm yet horny feeling.

The way I feel right now I cant see that happening and yet its ONLY been 8 days since my last release...I have gone 3 weeks previously before I had a blow out lol.

How some of you go for such long periods gives me hope, also that many of you are happy with that....I have been trying to get there for last 10 years ffs. When I am not locked up all i can think about is being locked up...then I get locked up and WTF!! sorry for the rant

 

I've had the same type of feelings. Anxious. Frustrated. Irritable.

My partner used to tell me that right around the 3 week mark was the sweet spot where my personality would shift to really heavy submissive feelings and my focus would shift from what I was being denied, to fully getting my satisfaction from her satisfaction. Needless to say, my lockdowns were rarely under the 3 weeks.

 

Nervousness, frustration, and annoyance are at stake in the beginning. When we started chastity 2016, I felt sacrificed and clearly wanted more attention than before. However, I noticed that nothing had really changed, rather our coexistence went even better. I got rid of the silly mood swings after I started writing a diary. Now with over 600 pages and 2,073 days later I can say - that life is super wonderful, and I appreciate my Key Holder more than ever.

 

I am curious, there seems to be two peaks to this one after 5-7 days and another at 3 weeks, does that sound about right?

Anyways I have come off defcon1 from last week...and a day shy of two weeks. mentally a bit twisted but not out of control.

I am pretty sure we will have sex in the next few days, but we have already agreed that I wont be permitted to climax with the view to working through the 3 week hurdle. And we have agreed to talk through it.

Hopefully these feelings will dissipate after that, I kinda fear this is our last stab at the chastity thing, which would be kinda sad because it was the basis of which we met all those years ago. Without blaming her, because its my feelings that I struggle with, if we talked about this stuff as much as we did when we started out I doubt I would struggle as much.

Since our chat last week though we have been talking a lot more which is sooo good

I really don't want chastity to result in me being anything but being more loving...it's not working if it causes resentment, just for example because I catch sight of her beautiful feet and want to hump them! If you get my meaning.

 

Nervous at the start, and when I'm unlocked... I recall the first time I was locked and my KH wife had the keys - I shook afterwards. It's a huge thing at the beginning. I still feel that excitement that she has the control and the power. She determines when I will be released and the terms for it.

Frustration can be a mixed feeling - it's a good thing to have sexual frustration, but a frustration that leads to anger is not. That one can lead to longer times, or as has been my experience, everything ending rather quickly. We're still working on that and it's improved massively the last time we were actively playing.

Irritable - usually when things are ignored. Sure, there's days when nothing happens, and there's days when something could happen - but it doesn't. Part of the problem in the past was I figured she wasn't really 'owning' chastity. It was more going along with my suggestions and not really innovating herself. She'd adapt my suggestions a little, but that was really it.

Currently because my KH wife is coming out of a medical issue that prevented a lot of things happening, we're just focusing on rebuilding the passions and desires almost from scratch. Little signs of affection, talks, kisses, etc. She will get to the point soon of saying "This will be better when you're locked" and I am not pushing it. I want her to approach it this time a little differently. She's keen on it, and that's a huge change from me initiating, talking, suggesting etc. But I feel this time she's got to be the initiator. That way she has proper ownership of the whole process, and the chances of ignoring the play should be hugely reduced. She knows the benefits, the perks of restricting my sex life for devoting everything to her instead.

She may well do it deliberately, and I've got to deal with that - rather than being irritated, turn it round and think "How can I please her in such a way that cannot be ignored?".

Ultimately, we're talking about sex, intimacy, and getting back to it slowly - she's eager to make progress, we're keeping things fun in all aspects, and chastity for her will play a part in it's due time. She's already referring to me as her Knight again, which is a clear indicator to me she's getting back to the mindset herself.