Are ruined orgasms considered “cheating”

Discussion in 'Novices and newbies' started by DylanThomas, Aug 6, 2020.

  1. DylanThomas
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    DylanThomas New member

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    I’m currently self-locking on an off and haven’t gone longer than a week in chastity regardless of what ChastiKey says. Anyway I’m a few days into a new session but I decided to have a ruined orgasm last night and “clean up” after myself. I figure it’s more forgivable than a full orgasm in the community but I’m wondering if I should strive for NO orgasms.

    I’ve read people say that if you go long enough locked up, you get completely used to it. I just can’t see it because I think I need to get e better fitting metal cage, currently wearing a CB6000s. Long story short, should I just not touch it?
     
  2. Byrdie
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    Byrdie Junior Member
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    It really depends on what your goal is. Some folks think it’s a good idea to regularly “clean out the pipes”, other think that going full non-orgasm is for the best.

    If a ruined orgasm didn’t adversely affect your demeanor or productivity, and there’s nobody other than yourself to whom you pledged your chastity, then I’d consider what that pledge actually was before questioning whether you cheated.
     
  3. Unlucky
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    Unlucky Active member

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    There is no community definition of what constitutes chastity and if there were, nobody sane would listen to it.

    Why are you practicing chastity? If it is to reduce masturbation, masturbation is playing with your penis regardless of whether you edge, have a ruined orgasm, or have a normal orgasm. If it is part of a fetish, then you're the one who defines the rules of the game.
     
  4. MissyB
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    MissyB Active member

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    As someone who self locks, it is your decision on what is right or not. If you're fine with that approach that is all that matters.
     
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  5. amvetsb
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    amvetsb Active member

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    Regardless of what you are using to determine a lock-up period or 'session', whether it is a human or simply an automated system on a website like EL or an ap or even the results of a random generator or a roll of dice or whatever... in my opinion, from the very beginning, stick to whatever it is you are striding to, your goals, whatever....
    I've had 'play partners' and keyholders that before being aware of the fact that I can't 'orgasm' while caged, suggested that if I did, it would lead to or mean that I didn't get to orgasm out of the cage and that they were content with it so long as I told them all about the experience. That said, it was something offered in place of a full or 'real'/pleasurable release/orgasm...
    If you are practicing chastity and just getting started, then stick with the concept. When the lock clicks shut, it's there for a reason, not simply body jewelry or to make orgasming more difficult, but to help prevent erections and orgasms, right? This will make the 'session' that you are in a realistic challenge and the end of it more rewarding once you've made it that far.
    Since you are 'self locking', you have to set your own rules and stick to them.. If you ever involve another person either in real life or on-line, you will be in for quite a shock to find that 'playing' or finding ways to get off or cheat the chastity will only piss off the one that you are handing the control over to... So, why do it now?
    Anyway, strictly my opinion and I don't mean to offend. I just think you should set out to do something and follow through with it, not make up rules or whatever as you go....
     
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  6. DylanThomas
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    DylanThomas New member

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    This is all valuable information. I’m doing chastity in part because my goal is to reduce or eliminate masturbation and also because it turns me on in the same way it does many others.
    You’re right, and that’s what I’m going to do.
     
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  7. amvetsb
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    amvetsb Active member

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    EXCELLENT!
    Now, some of us find it easier and better to have a commitment partner. This can be as extreme as having a significant other or a friendly keyholder that is supportive of your journey and help you through encouragement in one form or another to stick with it. *shrug... Best of luck!
     
  8. King Hippo
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    King Hippo Active member

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    Since you are self locking you are kind of making the rules for yourself.... but I would say it is cheating.
     
  9. binhoni93
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    binhoni93 Member

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    How did you achieve the ruined orgasm? For me, I've tried & so far its a no go while caged. Maybe I need to be caged longer?
     
  10. BR_Saiph
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    BR_Saiph Self-published author

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    Any unauthorized orgasm is cheating. You're in, or you're out.
    All I mean by that is own it. Do your best but if you slip up then you will want to clean up and forget about it.
    Don't do that, instead try to do better.
    If you just snap one off whenever you feel like you've struggled long enough, then you are depriving yourself of a crazy awesome headfuck.
    So, nothing wrong with fucking/jerking/orgasms all the time, it's about having permission or committing to a goal.
     
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  11. madams-sissysub
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    perfectly put!
     
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  12. DylanThomas
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    DylanThomas New member

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    I’ve been locked up since this post with no mistakes and I feel great. I’m getting to a point where I don’t notice the cage when I’m not thinking about it and it’s really nice to know that it’s safe.
     
  13. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Active member

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    It's your kink so none of us should judge. You make your own rules. If you want to have ruined orgasms then go for it and then lock up again. A week is a decent length of time. You can build up gradually if you choose but don't put too much pressure on yourself or you'll just get discouraged. Good luck
     
  14. bondinchas
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    bondinchas Active member

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    You make the rules.
    They can be anything you like.
    But, if you break the rules, THAT is cheating.
     
  15. Alana
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    Alana Active member

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    Cheating is whatever your Keyholder defines it to be.
    If you are your own keyholder, have you broken your own rules?
    The ones you defined for yourself BEFORE closing the lock?
    If so, then Yes you are cheating.
     
  16. StubHub
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    To me orgasim is orgasim. You either do or don't get off. If you're goal is chaste or going without. Your defeating the goal.

    Wearing the cage is to control letting loose for whatever or whoever for.
     
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