1. enslavedbyc
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    enslavedbyc Junior Member

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    So you and your partner are interested in chastity and Femdom but one or both of you struggle with the image of the Femdom and submissive, how do you move forward? You might explore a different archetype. I’ve listed a few ( there are many others) and a simplistic definition (as a starting point). My wife and I have explored many of these and other roles on our path.

    Queen / knight:
    A Queen is in charge by birthright or decree. A knight is subservient to her Queen but he is also protector he is submissive but in no way weak.

    Princess / majordomo:
    A Princess is also very much in charge but running her busy schedule and her household is taxing and boring. Her majordomo is responsible for managing all of the tedium up to her standards. He serves her but no one else.

    Warrior / slave:
    Unlike a Queen a warrior fights her own battles, protects her family and friends but is very demanding of her slave who serves in any way required at her whim. He may also suffer mightily at her whim.

    General / foot soldier
    Madam General is a master of strategy and tactics but requires her foot soldier to carry out her plans.

    Godess / devoted one:
    The devoted don’t just follow the dictates of their Goddess but literally worships Her.

    So if you don’t like the stereotype choose a different path, you might find a starting point in what I’ve listed above or by defining your role in a different way.
     
  2. King Hippo
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    King Hippo Long term member

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    These all seem like subsets of FLRs (female led relationships) to me.
     
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  3. enslavedbyc
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    enslavedbyc Junior Member

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    Yes, they absolutely are. However, many couples are unaware of the variety of relationships that exist in an FLR. I’m not claiming that I’ve invented anything new, I’m just highlighting the options.
     
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  4. archie
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    archie Active member

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  5. Peter201
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    Peter201 Member

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    For me it is Queen / knight.
     
  6. JaySaysYes
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    JaySaysYes Level-4 Sarcasm Master, PhD in Google, Ace Pedant.

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    *The options you can think of that you have categorised and labelled, thereby unwittingly limiting choices.

    I'm not being mean but it's human nature to want to label and categorise things. Good day, nice sunset, etc.

    My suggestion would be to forget about labelling and categorising. Instead enjoy the day, enjoy the sunset, and have a nice relationship.
     
  7. MouseJstr
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    MouseJstr Active member

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    Agreed.. I hate labels since they bind
     
  8. enslavedbyc
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    enslavedbyc Junior Member

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    That’s easy to do if you have experience in a D/s dynamic. But if you are introducing a partner to the dynamic and 90 percent of the examples of Femdom fit a stereotype you might have difficulty explaining the possibilities that exist.

    But feel free to be all that you can be. I know that we have.
     
  9. JaySaysYes
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    JaySaysYes Level-4 Sarcasm Master, PhD in Google, Ace Pedant.

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    I get that, but there is no need to ask for what you want by pointing to others as examples.

    There cannot be a size that fits because we are all so different, and seeking such a thing is one of the sources of pain and unsatisfactoriness that we all suffer from.
     
  10. WillieBDenied
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    WillieBDenied All men should be locked

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    There is nothing wrong with labels, I don't get why people are so worried them. ("Oh no, don't label me"). They have no power over you. But everyone single person in history fits into categories of some kind - usually many categories in fact, so don't pretend otherwise. Just like stereotypes, they exist because there is truth in them.

    We all have many labels that describe us. That is all they are - descriptors. I am X, I am Y, I am Z. So what? Embrace it.

    I tend toward the Queen/Knight submissive persona based on the above, but I can see elements of all of the them in myself. We are complex creatures. That's what makes us interesting.
     
  11. Tom Allen
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    Tom Allen Member

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    Mrs Edge and I have a pretty traditional marriage in all other respects. I am locked permanently because she has the control over that one part of me, something we agreed on ten or fifteen years ago. Being locked permajust evolved from that.

    There might be some queen/knight aspect in there, but we never even discuss it. It's just a naturalnpartnof our lives and we don't bother labeling things.
     
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  12. handsolo
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    handsolo Long term member

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    Funnily enough, that kind of sounds like a label I thought was missing from the first post, which I typed out but deleted to think it over more.

    The Bedroom Players:
    Go to work, go to school, take care of the kids, eyeroll at each other's TV and/or sports preferences. At night, he can beg her for just a couple strokes on his bare shaft for once, and she replies "shut up, eat me, and go to sleep." Other than that, business as usual.
     
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  13. King Hippo
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    King Hippo Long term member

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    I guess what I am trying to say is, there is a forum section called "Female-Led Relationships".
     
  14. Tom Allen
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    That's a good label.

    As it happens, while we have an outwardly traditional marriage, I am locked and denied permanently, so asking for a stroke, etc, is off the table.
     
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  15. Jay Sub
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    Jay Sub Long term member

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    I wouldn't want anyone to label me, but I'm happy to identify as a Chaste Knight to my Queen, or Goddess. I don't think labels labels "bind" unless it is someone else trying to categorise you. I'm with @WillieBDenied and if your category isn't representing what is it? Add it to the list. I see a poll coming!?
     
  16. subbnh69
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    subbnh69 Member

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    For us it is more like planner/executioner - she makes the plans, I carry them out. She thinks about the big picture and leaves most of the day-to-day details to me.

    Also there is a private/public dichotomy - within the marriage she is primary, but to the outside world we look much more traditional as she would rather I deal with stuff outside the home. So for instance, at a restaurant people would see me ordering the food and paying the bill, which might look like I'm the domineering one, but I'm actually ordering what she told me to, paying the bill because she doesn't want to bother figuring out the tip, etc.

    Subbnh
     
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  17. MsPamela
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    MsPamela Active member

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    That's a pretty good summary of hubby and I.

    A lot of those other archetypes kind of scared me when we were just getting started with orgasm denial. We had already been married a long time and had figured out how to make the day to day stuff work. I didn't want to break anything. Separating "bedroom" from "business as usual" was really important to me. Over time those boundaries have gotten a little fuzzier, but overall I still primarily think of us as spouses. It just so happens that one spouse gets far more orgasms than the other one.
     
  18. Hig4s
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    Hig4s Long term member

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    Still working it out, only been doing chastity this year, and only oart time. but think we will end up being
    Warrior-Queen/Knight
     
  19. Xileh
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    Xileh Happily Serving

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    Mostly as wife and husband, or perhaps partners. We function pretty normally including a bit of kink.
     
  20. Isopropylforyou
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    Isopropylforyou Long term member

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    Given the connotations that come with the word 'submissive' this is actually a good idea.

    A majority people hear the word submissive and they think weak and have visions of somebody crawling and groveling on the floor. While that visualization that is the furthest from the truth, it's still a perception people have.

    If you frame it as "I am your Knight and you are my Queen" it would sound more appealing then, I am your submissive and you are my dominant. This would be helpful if you were in a vanilla lifestyle and you're trying to move it more toward an FLR.

    Just my two cents.

    Iso.
     
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  21. madams-sissysub
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    I agree,
     
  22. Kat9s toy
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    Kat9s toy Long term member

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    I had to think about this a bit, and could not pick one archetype. I feel there is some overlap.

    I think each of the suggestions at one time or another, to some degree or another, describes my relationship to Mistress. I may be her knight: a protector when needed, strong but submissive to her, but I am also very devoted to her and also suffer her (at times) sadistic whims like a slave. Actually, it is a good mix and works well for us.
     
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  23. Jay Sub
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    Jay Sub Long term member

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    Knight sounds good then, surely a Knight must be prepared to take a beating for his queen. There aren't too many swordsmen to challenge these days so Queeny has to ensure you can still take it. Just in case. Lol.
     
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  24. IB-Chaste
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    IB-Chaste Long term member

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    I feel some archetypes are missing here…

    I think we fall into the Jerry/Tom roles.

    She’s (Jerry) out there. Smart. Witty. Knows what she wants. Gets the rewards…

    I’m (Tom) more direct in my approach. I chase her. I do what I need to get her. Getting her is keeping her happy. I do those things…

    We definitely fall into the Tom and Jerry category,
    I think… it’s possible she’s more a roadrunner type and I’m more Sylvester. There’s so much overlap in these archetypes it’s hard to know where you fall :confused:
     
  25. Servus
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    Servus Long term member

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    I think the variety is so big as there are couples with an own way to live.

    My wife and me started to live a FLR two years ago. We found that living in the "usual" social and clerical way, man leads /works / earns the money - woman follows / does the house chores and the kids is nothing for us and we want to love in free boundaries.

    So we also decided not to live in a boundary of our FLR. There are so many sterotypes on FLRs and chastity. We dont want that.
    We want to be free.
    My lady wants a man who is following her with his heart and brain. Who is slightly submissive and giving.

    She doesnt want a shoelicker, no sissy, no completely obedient man.

    She enjoys to be in charge and not to have to use my cock anymore, which doesnt give her pleasure.
    She enjoys my submission to her and that I do obey better, the longer the chastity takes place.
    And she enjoys to let me wear her underwear which makes me even more obedient because it shows me whom I belong to.
    For her i am a gentleman and she is the lady. We act like that irl. I open the door for her, help her into the jacket and so on.
    And of course I give her contra and advice if necessary.
    That the woman always is right is false.
    Even if FLR - RULES tell this.
     
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