Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by Vinny, Jun 1, 2017.
I dont feel so bad now I have had 2 in 12 weeks. I doubt 13 is my lucky number.
Last night she was saying how much she missed a cock being in her. I said we can stop anytime and you can remove my device. She asked "Do you plan on growing a bigger cock?", "No? that's what I thought. You'll stay locked." ... It's permanent.
Very similar to my wife and my lifestyle wouldn't swap it for the world
Everyone overestimates in the beginning. It is sort of funny.
I think with neew wearers its just a natural combination of not wanting to get yourself trapped in something that is too small and my damage you
Thrift. If you buy something too small you either wont be able to get or perhaps stay in it so it would be a wate of money.
Of course there is the delusional opinion a lot of us seem to have about the size of our own penises and the ego problem of admitting you do not have a big penis or for some not even an average penis. I have news for you guys your partner knows how big it is both flaccid and erect and to be honest no-one else really cares. It is only of som e interest to a few if it is of a very unusual size or shape.
Best approach is take some measurements and ask the vendor or ask on here Or ask generally what dimensions is/are this/these devices and what exactly they measured and how. di dthey measure the tube length along its length with a tape measure in contact with it or across its legth with a ruler only touching in two places.....then compare that with your measurements of yourself.
Yes, I know. It is still amusing to think about.
With regard to the OP, and also to other posts I have read. I find it incredibly interesting that there are quite a number of couples on this forum that have been married for 35+ years, as I have been. It almost seems like the old guys/couples have the most interest in chastity and denial. So the question I would ask is, in those relationships, do the females still have a strong sex drive and interest in orgasms? And do they find value on male chastity? I am in that situation, been married 38 years, and she still wants orgasms. But she wants flowers and romance and backrubs....not kink....
I was actually convinced that my wife lost her sex drive with the birth of our first child. Things were never really the same after that. Ironically chastity has seemed to reinvigorate her sex drive, just not for my penis. She is quite happy with a combination of tongue, hands and toys. She confessed to me that she had been avoiding sex because she didn't want to do anything after she came. Our routine had been that she would cum and then I would. Now she knows she can have her orgasm and just roll over and go to sleep. She is having quite a few more orgasms.
We have been married for over 22 years and I am in 50s she soon to be 50 lol but she loves the chastity and kink in fact she is now the main driver behind it but in saying that she loves flowers romance and back runs also
Life is just perfect
My wife has no use for my penis. We have not had intercourse in close to 20 years. She used to have sex with her girlfriend up to 7 years ago but now she just uses her vibrator. The problem with no more orgasms is that she would lose all control over me since I have nothing to lose. I am not a natural submissive and am the dominant one in our marriage. I am alpha to a fault and the only control my wife has over me is my orgasms. If she said no more orgasms I she would have nothing to control me with so there has to be a light at the end of the tunnel. I am not into worshipping women simply because they are women. The only way a woman can control me is through my penis so I need to have hope for an orgasm in order to stay in chastity.
For us there are several reasons. We were in a poly triad for much of our 44 year marriage. My wife and her girlfriend are bi and somewhere along there I gained weight and my penis shrunk. Plus prescription drugs interfered with my ability to both get erect and orgasm. That was in addition to being sterile. I went from being in threesomes with all of my wife's girlfriends and even having her best friend as my lover, to being an accessory to my wife and her best friend who had her own room in our home.
We moved away from my wife's girlfriend 7 years ago and we had a hard time adjusting to being just a couple again and not having another woman in bed with us. My wife was postmenopausal and we had not had intercourse for almost the last 20 years. She rarely wanted sex or an orgasm for a few years. Then I found chastity and thought it was a good way to turn my sexual frustration into a fun sex game. It took my wife a few years to really embrace it. Now she is having several orgasms a week, one or two with me and the rest in her own bedroom. No more guilt for denying me an orgasms and although she would prefer that I be kept highly aroused and orgasm free since I owe her big time for sharing me with other women most of our marriage, she knows that without the hope of an orgasm she has no control over me at all. I am the dominant one in real life and our marriage.
I was into BDSM, mostly S&M as the masochist for about 47 years but it was always confined to the bedroom. My need for S&M did not arise from female worshiping, being naturally submissive or any of that stuff. The reason, as I found out not too long ago is that I was suffering from depression that once treated greatly reduced my interest in S&M. I was using BDSM for stress relief and it is one of those things that demands your attention and leaves no time to obsess on your negative thoughts and worries. Chastity is much different than all the other fetishes we tried in that it does not end in the bedroom and we had to adjust to that. The D/s stuff does not work for us outside the bedroom. My wife is too submissive and I am too Alpha. No way are we going to magically change with the click of a lock.
We are in our mid sixties so our libidos are much lower than they used to be. We both have medical issues and medications. I find that when before chastity I never went longer than 3 days without an orgasm, even post surgery in a hospital bed and in the jungles of Vietnam. Now I go months and over the last year or so, not having an orgasm is much easier to bear. I enjoy how I feel pre orgasm much better than post orgasm but I need some hope for an orgasm. My wife is clever. She knows this and will set a date for my orgasm about 6 months into the future. When that day comes we may not even have sex. She way just give me a ruined orgasm or ask me if I lover her enough to wait even longer. I was supposed to have an orgasm at the end of October on our anniversary to make it special but yesterday she said that she would prefer me to wait until my birthday next June. At this point I really do not care anymore as long as there is a pot of gold at the other end of the rainbow that I can reach eventually before I lose all interest in sex.
Also consider that more than half of the posts in sex forums are not true. These days many guys are living their sex lives online as a recent study showed. Less hassle and no getting rejected by girls. In our time there was no internet or cable TV. I went out 3 nights a week looking for girls to have sex with. I never even know what the things we did were called until about 7 years ago. I knew S&M from stories I read in dirty magazines and also watersports but the rest we made up as we went along.
I am very dominant in every aspect of my life, but when it comes to my wife I will gladly serve and worship her no matter what
I think that I have always been submissive, but I just never knew it until I found this site. My wife is not mean, but she is very strong, and has a dominant streak that I just need to bring out.
Even at night, Alceste? That's where I've found the challenge to be. Would silicon be a better alternative over metal?
I started with a soft silicone cage that follows the same design as the CB models. It was easier to sleep in mainly because it would grow and stretch with my erections. I was actually able to get 3/4 of the way to a true erection. The main problem with the silicone is that it grips the skin somewhat so I developed a lot of sores. In the begining I was only locked up for a few hours and then days at a time, so it worked. Once we started evolving towards full time it did not. Every week or so I had to take a few days off to recover.
Now I wear a jailbird and it is so much better. The open cage design allows my skin to breath and for me to keep my little guy clean and happy. Erections, especially night time erections, are more uncomfortable, but that is a small trade off for the better health and hygiene. Besides it is somewhat the point of chastity to have to deal with this. For me it's like sitting to pee. It's humbug compared to being able to stand, but it's a constant reminder of my status.
I have never worn silicone, only hard acrylic. Even the small sizes of those were too big. Now with my custom titanium alloy cage, I find it very easy to wear, even at night. It is sized small enough that an erection cannot really get started.
I find the longer I wear it, the longer I want to wear it, even fearing and avoiding an orgasm because it would eliminate the days/weeks of buildup and base arousal I feel (I haven't gotten to months yet as I think my longest was short of four weeks). In my denied state I tend to forget that it doesn't take more than few days of teasing to bring me back to a simmer.
I will say, however, that if you play hard in a cage, with lots of prolonged teasing and abuse, your cock can get pretty beat up by the unrelenting metal hardware. Fun, you bet, but sores and injuries need time to heal if you want to avoid a forced medical break. I often need a few days to heal and/or a cage switch to give my cock and balls a break. I don't really consider it 'cheating' as long as I respect the spirit of denial (no masturbation, etc.)
A couple of weeks short of six months, but Lana's sissy pet has already been told she will not have another opportunity until mid-January, so she's looking at a minimum of 11 months.
i have never made it six months, but oh would i ever love to. What would that be like, i wonder? Would i get sick of it, and give up and make myself cum? Would the horniness just get more and more ridiculous? Would i cum in my sleep? Anyway. i make it as long as i can, as basically all of my ejaculations are accidental.
I just passed nineteen weeks, so half a year is not that far away. That is the new goal. This is without any removal of the device.
Longest for me was 7 months. The first 2 months were hell, got better after that.
Im really not sure of how long its been, that counting thing ended a long long long time ago. Its somewhere between 3.5-4.5 years I think. My orgasms are not important in our relationship, but my enjoyment of the experience is and while we are both happy the trend will remain.
I have slept with both kinds and it did not make a difference. I am very comfortable wearing my Jailbird to bed. In fact, if it were not on, I would feel strange. It is just like wearing a ring or wrist watch to bed. You get used to it. I use a CPAP machine every night to keep m Sleep Apnea under control. That means putting a mask on my nose which blows air all night long. My cousin died from sleep apnea so I am keenly aware of the need to control it. It took me six months and several types of mask to get used to it but now I cannot sleep without it. You just power through it until it no longer is a problem. That is pretty much all you can do if you want something that is not comfortable.
Just an update even though my post has taken different paths. I did not go 6 months. I got an orgasm after 3 months but my post orgasm depression was pretty bad. I was having panic attacks, felt lousy and not happy at all. My wife noticed it and said that she feels that I should not have any orgasms. I told her to be realistic since what keeps me going is the anticipation of an orgasm, not the orgasm itself. If she took away my orgasms, I would not enjoy chastity, and since we do not have a D/s marriage, I could simply stop playing chastity with her. I offered another solution to my problem which has proven effective for most of my life. That was to have at least one orgasm a day. She was leaning the other way last time I looked. Realistically, she has no need for my penis. Many say that, but in my case my bi wife has denied me intercourse for almost 20 years and has been using her vibrator and girlfriend for her orgams all that time. My wife does not want romance or dating with girls, just sex. She does get hot for young hot men but they are out of her reach so I do not care.
in the end, she loves me deeply, but just not my penis. She will give me an orgasm if she feels the lack of it is having a negative effect on me. She has wised up over the years and I can no longer fake distress.
I can really identify with that when I first started being locked and denied within a very short time I felt as though I'd been cheated a little if each period of denial was not at least a little longer than the last.
If I have to be not locked for some reason then it will be a good reason even though to be honest I prefer to be locked 24/7 with occassional outings for whatever. But I would not regard that as 'cheating'. The purpose of the game is to be denied I dont need to be locked 24/7 to acheive that but I very much prefer it for all the usual reasons. So how long you have been denied and how long you have been locked can be completely different numbers.