Any advice for those new to the life, and seeking long term?

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by locked_cuckold, Apr 11, 2019.

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  1. locked_cuckold
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    I have some I'd like to share, and hopefully, people will add/share their own.

    1) Keep a journal. Your honest thoughts about how chastity makes you feel and what it is you want to achieve. For some, you'll be the only one reading it, and for others, your KH will read it as well - in which case, she'll want you to be honest.

    2) Connect with others, be that just online or in some sort of real 'meet for coffee' type community. It's important to realize you're not alone, and so others are sharing your struggles.

    3) One day at a time. It's easy to read what others have achieved (such as 15 months, or 2 years) and want to achieve that. It's admirable for those in long term chastity but don't try to get there all at once. Treat each day as a new day, no mistakes, no slips and just try to focus on the current day.

    4) This is a journey - realize you're human. You're going to stumble along the way. No one is perfect. Even the people we read about that have been years without orgasm, failed a few times now and then. They didn't give up, though....that's the important part. It's not about the short game, it's the long haul.

    5) Splurge on a comfortable device. Yes, I'm aware that one doesn't need a device to be chaste, and I'm aware that one can orgasm while wearing it....I'm also aware that most of us on this site use them to help us stay orgasm free...it's why we wear them. One of the smartest moves I made in this life was to get a custom build. Think about it...this device is going to be around your balls and your dick. How comfortable do you really want it? Your device should be comfortable enough that you don't notice it when it's there, and miss it when it's not.

    6) Acceptance. This is who you are now. There's a reason you chose long term chastity - accept that side of yourself. Don't fight it, embrace it. Don't feel ashamed of it as it's just part of who you are as a person. From what I've read from others on this site, what's happening is closer to 'awakening'.

    7) Have fun! Last tip. This is supposed to be fun in most ways, even in the ways that torture you a little.

    Those are just my thoughts. What are yours?
     
  2. Tom Allen
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    Tom Allen Member

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    Caveat: Don't do this until you've tried a number of cheap devices to get a better idea of what will and will not work for you.

    Also note that the fit between summer and winter will be different.
     
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  3. LockedTxHubby
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    LockedTxHubby Member

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    Tom is correct. Buy several cheap ones to figure out what works best then go custom.
     
  4. boisub
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    boisub Inaccessible member

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    Like many things about TTTWD, there’s no right or wrong answer to the question of whether to go straight to custom or try a bunch of cheaper off the shelf devices.

    Everyone’s situation will be different. When my Wife agreed that I could order a cage, it would have driven her crazy if I had kept buying different ones. I basically had one chance to get it right, so I measured very carefully and ordered a Jailbird with a couple of different ring sizes.

    Other couples might enjoy shopping together and trying out lots of different types of cages. Or money constraints might make the decision for you.

    I think there are plenty of examples of people being successful with both approaches.

    But nice job, @locked_cuckold, of putting together those initial thoughts and starting this conversation.

    And a good point about seasonal differences, @Tom Allen.
     
  5. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Active member

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    Good list and excellent post, thanks
     
  6. Rectrix
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    Rectrix Active member

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    IMHO, the most important. "This is who you are." "Accept this side of yourself, don't fight it, embrace it." I imagine it's like coming out -- it certainly is when you take that big step and tell your wife what you need.
     
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  7. sissy_christine
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    sissy_christine New member

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    Not to much to add you hit it out of the park thank you for sharing :)
     
  8. Finn-egan
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    Finn-egan Active member

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    The big key for us, in going long term was making the decision to limit erections to locked erections. That was a huge leap, but we'd reached a point where it made sense. Once genital pleasure was limited to being locked, then, after what seemed forever, that became normal. When the greater pleasure was had while unlocked, it was too easy to look at chastity as less pleasurable, and to crave being unlocked to get pleasure.

    When I/we were into short term chastity, that was the whole point. Chastity amped up the pleasure when unlocked. The only way I've managed long term, is to view the pleasure I get while locked, as normal and full genital pleasure. Now having said that, it's very important to find a cage that is comfortable when aroused, and that won't bite into your nuts or base of shaft to the point of chafing or breaking the skin. As has been pointed out, a device that seems to fit when soft, is not always ideal when aroused. My own experience was that a shorter cage worked best for me that way. Everyone is different though.
     
  9. love4lock
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    love4lock Active member

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    I believe locked_cuckold and Rectrix are right on. This is a choice, your choice. We all feel its a good choice. Accepting and embracing it unlocks (pardon the pun) that part of you that you know wants to be out there. You are doing this as much for you as you are for her.

    If you choose the long term, the longer, the better. Finn-egan makes a great point about pleasure. You don't have to unlock to feel pleasure. It feels so good to be locked, you may just end up wondering if coming out is going to feel as good. Your mind and body can adapt to being in a cage, and can develop a sustained pleasure that can only be enjoyed while locked in.

    There was a part of me for a while that thought coming out would feel good, well duh, but I decided to stay locked in and have reached the point where I feel a full and complete pleasure experience from remaining locked in the cage. The difference is that my pleasure has no down time. Its all the time. 24 7 locked is 24 7 in my pleasure zone.
     
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