Another paradox of chastity

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by L-u-c-y, Oct 15, 2019.

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  1. L-u-c-y
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    This has always puzzled me...

    We all know most men here enjoy chastity, but doesn't admitting you enjoy it and REVELLING in it kind of ruin it for you?

    Wouldn't keeping up a pretence of disliking it make it more enjoyable?
     
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  2. Lockedboy101
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    I would have to say that is a paradox of chastity. Having it highlighted now, I feel almost that if we are truly submissive men wanting to serve superior women then maybe we should do so without being in chastity. It should be withheld from us so we serve selflessly.
     
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  3. b_quark
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    I don't know, I think this is one of those things where we can enjoy the idea of it overall, and we can enjoy a lot of the results of it, but we don't necessarily have to revel in it every instant that it's happening. Another example: I love being spanked and paddled and whipped by my wife. That is to say I love the idea of it. I love that she loves doing it, and I love seeing her get that sadistic streak going and really get into hurting my exposed ass. I love that warm feeling on my ass afterwards that stays there for several minutes or hours and reminds me of what happened. And yet almost always when she does it I beg her to stop because it hurts so bad. I pull or writhe away from her. It's as if I love everything about corporal punishment except for the actual corporal punishment. :)

    But, to be honest, I don't think that's the best comparison to chastity. I do like wearing my device. I like the feel and weight of it and how that's a constant reminder of my wife's love for me and my devotion to her. I even like some very practical aspects of it, such as that sitting to pee is actually easier and cleaner because the device holds my penis in place and I don't always have to remember to poke or even stretch my tiny flaccid penis down into the toilet. I like that I'm not in control of my orgasms and am completely at my wife's mercy, as I should be. But, yes, truth be told there are times when it is very frustrating and when I want so so badly just to be free to play with myself again.
     
  4. Kel Ford
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    It's the deference to her wishes that is erotic. It's giving the gift of control. Chastity on its own does very little for me without the knowledge that it makes her happy. I feel for those who are seeking a keyholder. It must be a very difficult situation.

    I also happen to love the fact that my wife is willing to participate in something kinky.
     
  5. AprilC
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    Guys "enjoy" the paradox or two that is within themselves, that is what we enjoy. Some of their thoughts, not a real man, chastity reminds them of that, but allows them to pretend that they "have to be locked up." Serving a woman for whatever rationale they come up with, makes noble, something so many feel guilty about. For many they rejoice in that their burden is lifted when a real man is involved with his wife
     
  6. tecolote
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    tecolote Long term member

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    Imagine that you love chocolate. You love it so much that you eat it all the time. You eat the crappy brand that your coworker puts out in a free dish and it's not satisfying, but you can't help it. And of course, it all gets to be less enjoyable, even the good stuff, but still you can't help yourself. And chocolate makes you cranky, too, so you are less pleasant to be around than you could be (not to mention fat).

    Then one day, you find a device that keeps you from eating chocolate. It only allows you to eat it maybe once a month, but constantly gives you a slight hint of chocolate in your mouth and your nose, always reminding you why you love it so much. And when you finally get to eat it, even normal chocolate tastes like the best Swiss chocolate, and you can savor it like never before. And suddenly you are nicer to be around, so people are nicer to you.

    Of course you still want chocolate all the time, but you also realize that you can only truly experience the best chocolate sensation if you don't eat it very often. So now you enjoy it more than ever, but less often. You would love this device. It makes your life better. You are happier, because it helps you avoid self destructive habits. Of course, it's not perfect, but it does make chocolate better!

    Why pretend that life isn't better? Chocolate tastes better. I always have a hint of it at all times. Most of the bad ways chocolate effects my life aren't an issue any longer.... Of course I will revel in this wonderous device, as frustrating as it is not being able to just grab a chocolate bar on a whim... But it's worth it when I finally do get to savor that chocolate.....
     
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  7. Dogtanian69
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    It does stimulate endorphin production, rather like a painful workout at the gym. And although being teased to the point of torture in a cage is punishment of a sort, as is a sound spanking, the “high” afterwards is something else. That, you can’t beat.
     
  8. L-u-c-y
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    Also "I really want to be punished!". How can it be a punishment if you want it????
     
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  9. ChasteBoi150
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    This is exactly the paradox that you speak of!
    We are masochistic generally speaking I believe
    We enjoy punishment/pain/denial etc
    But when we cum we experience the pleasure of an orgasm but we do lose the thrill of being denied

    Denial - Extended torture/ pleasure
    Orgasm - Temporary fun.But losing the experience and rush of being denied
     
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  10. Tom Allen
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    Are you new around here? ;-)
     
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  11. AprilC
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    usually super quiet
     
  12. branded_hubby
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    To answer Miss Lucy's questions....

    I enjoy chastity, up to a point. My wife likes my chastity far beyond that point. Then it becomes about service, sacrifice, submission and obedience. At that point im not really enjoying the chastity, but I do enjoy those things. I love trying to meet or exceed her increasing demands on my levels of obedience, submission, and training. Unfortunately I'm not strong enough or disciplined enough to provide the requisite levels of submission without chastity.

    Punishment is pretty much the same. I enjoy it up to a point; but if it's real punishment or training - her sadistic side will outrun my masochistic side. Very few males would want to be in that place!

    Yes, I'm a lucky boy to have a wife like her! My dream is to provide levels of service and submission that neither of us ever dreamed i could attain. Chastity and punishment are just two of her tools to help me reach that goal.
     
  13. winstonmacgregor
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    You are only on this planet for a very small amount of time if you are even that lucky. If you enjoy something and it doesn’t cause harm to anybody else, revel in it.
     
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  14. Finn-egan
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    I was with my keyholder today, and we were talking about how things have changed over the past 3 years or so. Full chastity was not what I had intended. At the start, going 24/7 and giving up pleasure was rough. then it was terrifying (but exciting) then it was a period of acceptance, then it was what I desired, for many reasons. the more the suffering, the closer connection I feel to my keyholder and my new role. My wife just thinks I'm a bit crazy, but loves that I've been able to stick with it, and have a kink partner that has me behaving better, and is not based on sex.
     
  15. Finn-egan
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    When my keyholder finds the time and the desire to be sadistic, we play at what would be a punishment level for the most part. We've only used hitting as a punishment once, and it's a vastly different thing from getting someone to "punish" the naughty boy. I'm not a pain slut by any stretch, so I don't tend to enjoy it. It's something I endure because she adores seeing me endure it for her.

    I think that for me, and maybe for other guys....Being chaste removes the intensity of sex/masturbation/orgasm....and I know that for myself, i crave the intensity of erotic pain, and the intimacy of suffering for someone you love. I love the idea of it more than the reality, when it's happening, but I think there is a desire to feel something intense.
     
  16. LesterBallard
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    There is something masochistic about it. The pleasure can come from being refused.

    And, not to put words in people's mouths, but I expect with quite a number, although they proclaim here how proud and happy they are to be locked, there are still moments when they are horny beyond belief and hate the situation they're in. That lasts only as long as the horniness lasts and they revert to the submissiveness we see on here.

    But apart from, to answer your question simply - men, what can you say?
     
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  17. Sissy-CJ
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    I don’t understand the punishment bit either, But I hate being punished, so maybe it’s just me.

    The chastity thing is a love hate thing lol. I love the control it gives over but I hate the fact I can’t do what I want with my bits (especially when

    I don’t get the wanting punishment side, I hate being punished. I never want to be punished or enjoy it. Yes I like the dominance/ submission side and like that but certainly not to want it.
     
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  18. My-submission
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    I get that, and a term I've learned on CM is a funnishment which I suppose is correct up until a point. When you pass that point its a punishment. So being new here and with no real experience of this type of punishment I move on to the quote below.


    I used the gym and extreme physical exercise form many years to deal with my masochistic streak. Pushing past the pain barrier is the actual punishment and not the fun part. enjoying the endorphin rush post workout aftermath which can last a few hours. I imagine when you've past that fun point it's similar in that it's not the actual punishment /Exercise at the time that is enjoyable but your body pushes through it because it wants the endorphin rush. This is from an exercise point of view and I imagine it similar in our idea of punishment.
     
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  19. MSDB321
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    The words I really want to be punished is for me a way of finding an excuse for CP, I love the concept of a strict woman punishing me for something I have done wrong. As a masochist the CP is what I want together with the after effects of endorphin and adrenaline rushes. Calling it punishment is just a label that plays into my fantasies.
     
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  20. madams-sissysub
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    Very interesting reading, it is a paradox indeed! As others have mentioned, I enjoy pleasing my madam and it pleases my madam greatly that I am in 24/7 chastity at her control, but there are times I just want my device off, but it passes and then I love the feeling of it there!
     
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  21. Rectrix
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    No, not for me. I don't dislike anything about it. Sure, once in a while I really want to masturbate or have PIV like a real alpha man. But I love knowing that I am becoming (or trying to become) a more attentive and affectionate, sensitive and loving, and very submissive husband, and that my chastity cage is the key to that. I know this is good for me, and so does my wife.
     
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  22. Finn-egan
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    Same for me. My keyholder calls the changes in me "improvements". The cage is a tool to train me out of typical male behaviours, rather than one to build up frustration for hot sex on release (which is fine, and it's been that for my wife and I in years past) so I/we don't see it as a cock cage, as much as see it as a way of removing the cock from view and use.

    The other big thing, in terms of punishment is that my keyholder had become frustrated with past (male and female) partners in that they constantly wanted to be used/beaten/punished, to get off or have and endorphin rush, and this also usually led to the submissives requiring/requesting sex or sexual pleasure, having gotten aroused by the beating. With me it seems, I'm not into being beaten (although the idea turns me on) and for the most part simply endure it, which appeals to her inner sadist, and means that beatings/tortures are on her terms. I'm also not as wired for sex/pleasure anymore and don't expect it or ask for it. I get very sexually frustrated, and I do get aroused from seeing things, or giving pleasure, but I don't crave the things that guys typically do to get off....if that makes any sense.
     
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  23. tecolote
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    tecolote Long term member

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    For me, regret is when I'm not horny at all, and I just have this thing stuck on me, and why did I do it?
     
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  24. Tom Allen
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    Okay, seriously. I'm answering from the perspective of one of the few people around here not in a DS or FLR type relationship.

    Mrs Edge enjoys the arousal caused by my denial and frustration. If she thought that I actually did not like it, she would (well, probably) stop playing. In the past, I told her that sometimes I fantasize that I'm locked up because I'm being punished, and she actually gets concerned. Admittedly, she's not much on role playing, which is probably why a lot of other activities have fizzled out over the years.

    On my end, I *also* enjoy the arousal (the low-level simmer I always have) caused by the denial and frustration. However, I've decided that even though sometimes I miss orgasms, I don't miss them *more* than I'm enjoying the extended period of denial. And since we're actually having more frequent (and hotter) sex, I'm actually coming (heh) out ahead.
     
  25. Mash2214
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    Mash2214 Locked today, tomorrow, forever

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    That is a difficult thing to explain. I want to be punished but when it starts I always say to my self “Why do I Need This “ I don’t always want my bum tanned when she wants to tan it but I’m always grateful after. I believe it’s more of a need than a want. The need to be corrected, put in your place and shown that she cares to make you a better person.

    Yes it’s a strange thing
     
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