Another newbie

Discussion in 'Introductions' started by thefemdecided, Apr 26, 2017.

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  1. thefemdecided
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    thefemdecided Long term member

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    #1 thefemdecided, Apr 26, 2017
    Don't feel obliged to plough through all this, especially if you have a low boredom threshold! It is a big thing to me/us, but we are treading a path that you have walked already.

    Over the years we have had a varied sex life, and, except for pain, tried all sorts of good things with all sorts of great people, none of which are really relevant to here. We are now in a new phase, and my husband is about to be chaste whenever and wherever I choose.

    Why did I go for chastity? A couple of months ago I underwent surgery, and the radio therapy is now over. I feel great! I feel alive again! I want the new me to do new things and have fresh experiences. That is why I decided chastity will take centre stage in our lives.

    The how was a bit more complex. Part one was easy. I simply did a bit of internet browsing and bought a CB6000S. The challenging aspect was introducing my new toy to my husband. In the event I gift wrapped it with a card saying “to us”. Ian opened it, and was, to say the least, surprised!
    We had a long discussion over a bottle of wine. My first question was … will you do this for me? Ian, bless him, said yes. My follow up was … will you do it now? The answer again was yes, so after some considerable time sorting out the correct ring and spacer, on it went, and, this is 3 days later, on it remains.

    We spent the rest of the evening trying to sort out our personal ground rules. They aren't set in stone, as time goes on they will probably have to change a bit, and I welcome any advice from the experienced among you. We are an equal partnership, I don't want him to be less masculine. Our initial internal rules, mutually agreed, are …

    We will do this for at least a year to give it a fair trial.
    I will not aim for a world record lock in, but he will be locked, on average, for at least 50% of the time. If locked, the cage stays on whatever the circumstances, irrespective of time, place, clothes or company.
    I have full control of the key and can lend it when and to whom I choose. My sexual freedom is unchanged, Ian's is limited by my decision. The second key is in my bank deposit box.
    Whenever he is locked I will wear the key and it will always be visible. I won't start a conversation about it, but if asked I will be fully honest and open about what it is and why I am wearing it. (This one is on Ian's insistence).
    If anyone will not accept our choices that will be their problem, not ours, also Ian's idea.
    Ian can read this site, but not contribute, this is my space.

    As I said, advice and suggestions are welcome. Wish us both luck on our journey
    Jane
    X
     
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  2. Cincy
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    Cincy Long term member

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    #2 Cincy, Apr 26, 2017
    Sounds like you are off to a good start...have fun!
     
  3. Mash2214
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    Mash2214 Locked today, tomorrow, forever

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    #3 Mash2214, Apr 26, 2017
    Very exciting. Very few relationships start with the Keyholder starting it. Think about an emergency key incase it's needed. There are times when he wont be with you. Enjoy your journey
     
  4. thefemdecided
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    thefemdecided Long term member

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    #4 thefemdecided, Apr 26, 2017
    Thanks to you both for your replies. We talked about the spare key, I have put it in my safety deposit box at my bank. If Ian has to make a trip for more than just a day (or a flight) I am going to use a numbered plastic seal. Woe betide him if he ever removes it‍
     
  5. MistressCAK
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    MistressCAK New member

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    #5 MistressCAK, Apr 26, 2017
    Congratulations on starting your chastity journey as a couple!
     
  6. chastesoon
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    chastesoon Senior Member

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    #6 chastesoon, Apr 26, 2017
    Take it slow! It takes time to get used to wearing a chastity device. Expect some bumps along the road.
    Inspect often for chafing and use a lube like baby oil gel around the base ring.
     
  7. mwsubmissy
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    mwsubmissy Active member

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    #7 mwsubmissy, Apr 26, 2017
    Great intro and I wish the both of you happiness. Me and wife/keyholder think that chastity is almost the best thing we ever did. have fun with it.
     
  8. thefemdecided
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    thefemdecided Long term member

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    #8 thefemdecided, Apr 26, 2017
    Thanks mw, we will, we enjoy expanding our repertoire
     
  9. Jessica Alexander
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    Jessica Alexander Trans woman not a mistress or Dom

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    #9 Jessica Alexander, Apr 26, 2017
    Full time lock up is easier than 50/50. After 3-4 weeks, he will feel secure in it and feel naked without it.
     
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  10. thefemdecided
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    thefemdecided Long term member

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    #10 thefemdecided, Apr 26, 2017
    I keep being told this Jessica, and can see the logic. My problem, if that's the right word, is that permanent lock up would lose the surprise element. I want to lock or unlock anywhere, with no warning. Also I do enjoy penetrative sex and want to be able to say "now" whether at home, in the car or on the beach.
     
  11. Jessica Alexander
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    Jessica Alexander Trans woman not a mistress or Dom

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    #11 Jessica Alexander, Apr 27, 2017
    I'm sorry, I didn't mean PERMANENT! Just leave it on him except for when you want to access his penis.
     
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  12. thefemdecided
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    thefemdecided Long term member

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    #12 thefemdecided, Apr 27, 2017
    That's a better way of going about things ;). I still have a slight concern that it might be too much too soon, and as we don't work most of the time we are together anyway. I will ponder on it, and certainly use it if I think there is a risk of sex that I haven't preapproved
     
  13. Mactastic
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    Mactastic Long term member

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    #13 Mactastic, Apr 27, 2017
    I agree with Jessica on the full time lock up. My wife lets me wear my device daily from the time I wake up until just before she gets home. I don't get to wear it at night due to night time erections. I have been wearing for a few months now and don't feel right without my device. Daily wear is a must if you want him to get used to it.
     
  14. thefemdecided
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    thefemdecided Long term member

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    #14 thefemdecided, Apr 27, 2017
    Thanks for your comment. I have asked, and you are right, night time erections, or at least the partial ones that the cage allows, have woken him up a couple of times, but going for a pee has resolved that problem. My desire is to not release him at night unless it suits me. Equally, there are occasional days when I want the cage off, as I rather like making him cum in his trousers when we are out and about.
     
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  15. Mactastic
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    Mactastic Long term member

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    #15 Mactastic, Apr 27, 2017
    I'm super envious that you take such interest in your partners... Situation... Haha. I tried the device at night on my own and didn't like the burning sensation it creates from folded and stretching skin, but I sure wish my wife made me do it regardless of what I want. She's too considerate.

    As for creaming in his jeans... That lucky lucky man...
     
  16. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    #16 Nicoftime, Apr 27, 2017
    Wow, quite a start. Welcome.

    Would be interested in hearing about how you learned of chastity and devices, most would not have even heard of them. Also, what are you looking to get out of the new dynamic? Attentiveness? Control etc?

    I cannot speak about plastic devices since I've never owned one, but steel is easy enough to go long periods without removal as well as night time. They are easy to keep clean and they don't break/crack.

    Best of luck to you
     
  17. thefemdecided
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    thefemdecided Long term member

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    #17 thefemdecided, Apr 27, 2017
    Thanks. I learned the normal way, good old web search. After my op I wanted something new to rekindle the spark. Off to the www ... swinging, do it. Group sex, do that too. Exhibitionism, love it. So it went on till I found chastity and thought not done that, sounds fun and it doesn't mean giving anything up. What I want is to add another element to our sexual satisfaction

    So far it's working
     
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  18. JiL
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    JiL servitude4u

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    #18 JiL, Apr 27, 2017
    Thefemdecided,
    While I still use a CB6000s, you may want to eventually move to a steel device for the duration of lockup you want. I wish I had a steel device at this point. I am locked up Monday thru Friday 24\7, and made to come out on Saturday and Sunday on most weeks, and that is for the same reasons you mentioned earlier. Strictly for your/her convenience and needs.. My Bride has vowed as of last week, I get only one real orgasm a month, and realizing I now may get only 12 a year nearly took my breath away. But I believe she will reward me beyond that from time to time. If 12 is all I get, than I am simply getting what I asked for and what I deserve, and I shall be happy with that. Don't forget to milk or at least edge him once evry two weeks or so. Best to all.
     
  19. thefemdecided
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    thefemdecided Long term member

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    #19 thefemdecided, Apr 27, 2017
    I buy a cb, then discover the steel ones! Isn't that always the way. It's on my Christmas list
     
  20. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    #20 Nicoftime, Apr 27, 2017
    I got you beat, I bought a custom steel device and then got pierced for chastity. Rendering it a very expensive, custom paper weight. Oh well, we learn...I never would have guessed I would spend so much money and effort to not orgasm!
     
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  21. thefemdecided
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    thefemdecided Long term member

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    #21 thefemdecided, Apr 27, 2017
    We aren't pierced, except my ears. That's unlikely to change
     
  22. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    #22 Nicoftime, Apr 27, 2017
    You never know, I was not a dick piercing kind of guy. It scared me, and to be honest always thought it was something for well endowed guys to do so they had an excuse to whip it out and show it off.

    I did it as an act of devotion and show her how serious I was about giving her total control, that even pulling it out for an erection or orgasm alone would be impossible. She didn't require it or ask me, but went with me to get it done.

    Although she didn't require me to get it, if she learned I was getting myself off by pulling out, and we were as engrossed into this lifestyle as we are now, I think she wouldn't hesitate to require it.

    So ya never know, especially since it is you who are asking him to wear the device, you might just change your mind on the subject if you think he might be sneaking it out.

    Our dynamic has changed so much since we began, I hardly believe that this is now my reality. I am sure she feels the same, neither one of us would have guessed the direction things went, some of it we didn't even know about ourselves.
     
  23. thefemdecided
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    thefemdecided Long term member

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    #23 thefemdecided, Apr 27, 2017
    He is far too wussy to do that. He thought about being a tree surgeon, but faints at the sight of sap!
     
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  24. Mactastic
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    Mactastic Long term member

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    #24 Mactastic, Apr 27, 2017
    Chinese steel devices are great, and a lot cheaper to try out different styles and sizes for fit than ordering a custom fit device, waiting for it to be built, sending it back to have size changed, waiting for return shipping. I'm just saying. If you end up wanting a jail bird style device check out eBay. Seriously $18 for 304 stainless ring device with form fitting base ring, lock and key. I love my A275 Arc. I wouldn't put it on until it has been thoroughly cleaned and oiled though. You don't want some Chines super virus eating up his man junk.

    I also bought a Stainless Holy Trainer clone (similar to cb6000), but that thing is super heavy. Only really suitable when sitting all day. Again, clean it thoroughly before installing. I don't think I would recommend this one for every day wear.
     
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  25. JiL
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    JiL servitude4u

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    #25 JiL, Apr 27, 2017
    I wear my CB 6000s and wear it close enough so that it would not be easy to get out of at all. And if I did try to pull out the top of it, I know it would be painful. But thats just me. Not everyone can wear a cage as tight and close as some others. I use the shortest of spacers and use the 3rd smallest of 5 rings. A real snug fit needless to say. Arousal alone for any extended period of time leads to some real discomfort and eventual pain. Things don't have to be fancy or high priced to work.
     
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