Anal Training?

One of the most-off given pieces of advice I've read is to "relax". I never quite understood this one. I've taken baths, lit candles, rested, everything, and still ended up tight there. Trying to work myself open with plugs was an uphill battle. I just couldn't figure it out.

One weird thing happened, though: I realized that while reading Jack Morin's "Anal Pleasure and Health" my sphincter would loosen a bit. I was that that it could, but having to open a book every time I wanted certain intimacies seemed cumbersome.

Years later, during a sexuality workshop at the former Sharma Center in Seattle, a man participating gave us some advice that got everyone giggling:

"If you've ever watched a [NOTE: I'm going to say "brand new human" to keep from squicking people] breathe, they do it with their whole body. It's like they plump and stretch like in one of those hot dog commercials, and then they let the breath out.

"This is going to sound weird, but I learned a technique that does something similar to an adult body. I nicknamed it "breathing through your asshole" (laughter) because that's basically what's going on: breathe in and make yourself bigger and taller. Imagine that you're taking air in at both ends, and that you're letting it out that way as well. This is by far the easiest way I've found to relax a sphincter."​

I gave it a try. It worked. I've tried it alone and with a partner, and so help me - that was the missing piece. I can get a massage, listen to chill jazz, hear rain outside my window ... and still be tense down there. But focusing on the breathing exercise really helped.

I also found something else that helped, though by all means be careful here. Different people have different sensitivities, and playing around in this way could lead to some painful and embarrassing situations. That said, though ...

You know those sexual warming gels / lubes that are supposed to go on the genitalia? I really never liked those. I found them way too intense, to the point of near pain. One day I was playing around with one, got curious, and rubbed some on my sphincter. Not only was there no pain, but my sphincter relaxed really quickly. It was like one of those warming gels for muscles, but made for 'fraidy cats. If you're going to try this, though, I only recommend the ones made for especially for sexual purposes, and only after doing a patch test on some less-dire skin to see if you have a bad reaction to it first.

This is the only non-standard advice I have to give, if the typical advice hasn't been working for you. Good luck!

 

If you decide to explore anal, you are starting a journey that may take you to a place you have not imagined.

I’m referring to prostate orgasms.

Would you like to experience 50+, intense, full body, non-ejaculatory orgasms in one session?

If you start with prostate orgasms, anal play will follow, and be more pleasurable. Check out the Aneros web site. The forum is currently down for posts, but past posts can be viewed and searched. This is a tremendous resource for prostate equipped individuals.

It may take time to learn. You are training your body and mind to connect these new sensations to pleasure.

If you decide to pursue this, select a small device like a Helix. Prostates respond well to a gentle touch. Don’t forget to gently stimulate your nipples. They can super-charge sensations below the waist. Mine are my keyholder’s favorite tease. She can bring me to tears just my caressing my nipples. By the way, prostate orgasms have no refractory period. They just keep coming.

After a bit of experience, you can move to larger toys and dildos easily.

I encourage you to try, and have a great time!

 

Yes it is important, get a set of butt plugs, start with the smallest, and leave it in for a while, then move up to the next and repeat.
After a few sessions, you will find you can move up quicker.

 

With the set of plugs, get your body used to inserting and removing it repeatedly. Start small, use lube, listen to your body. Push your limits and heed the above advice.

Remember that not every day is the same. Some days you’ll be tighter. That’s ok. It’s a longer process but entirely worth the effort - especially if your partner wants it.

 

Is it important? Well that's up to the individual...

But it sure is a lot of fun and crazy enjoyable!

 

Lots of good advice, hope it helps. Good luck and please let us know how it goes.

 

Go to bad dragon and get the cum lube, that stuff is so slick you could take a full size truck if you use enough of it

 

I have used butt plugs on myself for 30 years. Before I was married I did it a lot. My asshole looks like a slut asshole lol. I have never told my wife of 10 years about this. She has never looked at my asshole and never asked me about it. Since we married I will sometimes get out a dildo when she is away. It's something I need but she would think it is gay. That's why I hide it

 

Communicate it to her in a way that she'll understand and appreciate--don't make assumptions. After 10 years, you must face the reality of this important and persistent need you have--and that you've selfishly kept hidden from her for so long--so that she can help satisfy it as well. She might truly enjoy the newfound control and increasing levels of submission from you that this practice may bring to your relationship.

You will surely regret it one day if you don't.

 

Thanks so much for sharing this. My Mistress had given me an assignment involving a suction cup dildo. It’s not huge, but bigger than anything I’ve tried anally before. I’d been trying to work up to it using gradually larger plugs, but just couldn’t get the dildo in, until I tried this. It works! Cheers.

 

Yes maybe your right. Or maybe I will regret it if I tell her I like sticking dildos up my ass. My wife is mostly vanilla. It would be great if she liked it but I am pretty sure she won't

 

My wife knows I'm into ass play, she has put a plug into my ass twice, but she doesn't know I like to ride my silicone suction cup dildo in the shower when she is away. I'd love to have her use a strap-on on me, but I also think she would think it leans towards gay. When I tell her (half jokingly) that I like the way her panties feel she raised her eyebrows a bit...

 

I have loved toying my ass since puberty. Dildoes, plugs, inflatables, hands, enemas. All so fulfilling. If you want to get big things up there, start small and use a lot of lube. I like to start things up with an enema to clean out the pipes. Then get the lube out. If you can get a squirt of it inside you, like with a lube shooter, so much the better. Start small, then work up in size. When you get to the resistance point, take a few deep breaths and try to feel yourself relaxing your sphincters like when you’re having a bowel movement. Gently bear down like you’re pushing out a log while relaxing and the plug or dildo will start it’s journey. The secret is pushing out. Counterintuitive but it works. I still do this and I can take a mans arm up to the elbow, about 3” in diameter. Then he wiggles his fingers and I absolutely blast off. I come while flaccid this way, and it’s amazing.

 

I'd like to improve my ability to take larger sizes and am looking at getting the dialators-- three plugs that graduate in size.

Has anyone used these? Do they work? Do they stay in by themselves or do I need a belt? Thanks for any help you can give.

asa

 

I think they have a shoulder like a regular butt plug so you should hold it in naturally. No belt required. What really worked for me was the inflatable dildo from master series. This black beauty inflates to 4” if anybody can take that. Just ram it home with a lot of lube and inflate it slowly. At first one or two pumps, then more every time you use it. It’s how I stretch out for hand play.

 

I have not tried these yet, but have a set that I just purchased. From what I understand, and taking a look at them it makes sense, is you need some way to keep them in. They do not have the thin stem area that allows your ass to shrink down around it like a regular plug does.

 

Smooth rubber dildos (not silicone) of various sizes, Enema kit, and a bottle of Gun Oil Silicone lube (there is no better substitute).

Get those three things and just start exploring.

Remember, SMOOTH RUBBER. Like SHINY. You don't want anything with any texture when you start, and it's good to have something more malleable so you don't get over excited and hurt yourself with something completely solid.

Yes, "relax", but that doesn't mean bath and candles, lol. You have to learn to control the muscles you have back there. Nothing beats experience.

EDIT: Sorry I'm like a month late on this one oops!

 

If you see yourself having to rely upon anal stimulation in the future, then, yes, I'd absolutely say anal training is important! Side note: I am extremely partial to butt plugs, and don't partake much in strap on play; however, any proper anal training will almost certainly involve butt plugs. Anal orgasms, however, are usually accomplished with in/out penetration, in which case a dildo is perfect for that job. Butt plugs are meant to go in your ass and stay put - getting used to having something in your ass is key to loosening up.

I'd recommend going on a little shopping spree and picking up a couple of butt plugs in different sizes. Most of the time, the finger-width "small" plugs are literally too thin (little to no bulge --> slippage) and I'd suggest a standard "medium" size (say, ~1-1.5" diameter range). However, go with what feels like what's best to you.

Speaking of which, it's important to listen to your body. If it's telling you something doesn't seem right: listen. You can always take a break whenever needed and come back later - sometimes our bodies can't do everything we wish they could, and that's fine. Everybody's internal geography is different, and I personally believe that it's not for everyone and also that there exists a plateau / limit for each individual when it comes to being anally receptive.

So, anyway, the name of the game is to start small, and go slow. The beauty of anal training is that it prepares one's ass for, well, further and further anal training. Setting goals can really help out in the training process. Each step you've set up should be a milestone to graduate to. If you can take your smallest butt plug for, say, 30 minutes, go for 45 or an hour next time. Continue to build up the length of time the butt plug is inserted (in reasonable increments) until you're comfortable being plugged with it for at least a few hours. Putting time in on smaller sizes is, IMHO, the best way to get the muscles down there to you get to that next size. Once you step up to a bigger butt plug, go back to wearing it for short periods of time and building up the length of time you leave it in. Repeat the process until you're satisfied with wherever you had in mind.

With enough practice and patience, you'll be less "uptight" in no time... (sorry, couldn't help the lame joke). Good luck!!