An overemphasis on devices

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by simianFlux, May 4, 2009.

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  1. simianFlux
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    simianFlux Junior Member

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    I find myself somewhat dismayed on what i would call an overemphasis on chastity devices.

    For me (and I assume for many of the rest of the people here but probably not all), the kink is about orgasm control, and the loss of or transferal of this to another person. Doing so doesn't require any device at all, its just about being honest and having a bit of willpower (sometimes, a *lot* of willpower). Sure a device can make this easier (and provide some accountability) but its by no means required.

    It feels like so much emphasis is put on finding a well fitting device that maybe we lose sight on the true goal, which is the thrill of giving someone else control over your orgasms. There are some benefits to wearing a device but the reality is, the person in chastity *wants* to have their orgasms controlled/regulated/rationed, love the sexual high/tension, and shouldn't want to cheat themselves out of it. Its probably a good idea to have a device of some kind for times when the flesh/mind are weak, but requiring a 24/7 solution for long term wear shouldn't be necessary.

    The point being, the emphasis should not be on building a mini Alcatraz to then attempt to thwart and gain your freedom. The emphasis should be on the fact that you've relinquished your ability to choose when/where/how/etc to orgasm, and realize that doing so is what you wanted in the first place. To cheat on that should lead to questioning why you bothered at all.

    All this being said, I do own a cb3000 and a lori tube, both of which get some use on occasion, and both capable of 24/7, but I find doing so to be cumbersome and only really useful for moments of weakness.

    -simianFlux
     
  2. chastityslavejohn
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    chastityslavejohn Mistress Irianna's pet

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    i agree completely, simianFlux! my Mistress controls every aspect of my life, including my orgasms. Mistress locks me in my CB3000 whenever it pleases Her. mostly i am unlocked and She allows my orgasms for Her pleasure. my cock, and my body, are merely Her possessions like Her car and Her computer...She uses them as She sees fit. W/we are together pretty much 24/7. even so, if i did cheat and play with Her cock i would confess to Her and face my punishment.
     
  3. js11756
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    js11756 Senior Member

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    For some of us, the moments of weakness is often.
    Also, the feeling of the device is a constant reminder of the control we have given up. For me it is a constant erotic feeling that give me energy.

    js
     
  4. chastityslavejohn
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    chastityslavejohn Mistress Irianna's pet

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    ahh, i agree totally with the constant reminder...love it. i wear a leather cock collar when unlocked and i wear a butt plug about 21 hours a day. i also wear my slave ring and bracelet and a neck chain...all reminders of my status as a slave. if anyone asks about my jewelry i am required to tell them that i am a slave. that happens at least once a week. everyone at O/our local bar knows about U/us.
     
  5. PuppyMastersPet
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    I agree completely with your point. I myself don’t wear a chastity device, I have in the past but it never really worked for me. I bit of hard training and honesty has worked out a lot better for us.

    I have posted in the past about orgasm denial training and chastity without a device, can’t remember where the post are though.

    I would add that I would like to wear a chastity device but not simply for the purpose of control, for me it would be about not being able to touch or even see my clitty, I think this is in important step in becoming a sissy. The device I want is expensive though so I will have to wait a while before I get one.
     
  6. Respectful
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    Respectful Chaste by choice

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    I prefer the honour system. I choose to do this for her, and she expects me to keep my promises. I completely understand why others wear a device though :)
     
  7. drake235
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    drake235 Junior Member

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    It's always dangerous to say how it "should" be. Different people want different things. None of us are right or wrong when it comes to preferences.

    Drake
     
  8. madamsboy
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    madamsboy Looking for a special female

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    in some case (i.e. mine) a device is neccesary as to a lack of self control and an ease of denying what occured. I prefer thee device as it is a reminder and a deterrent
     
  9. PT109
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    PT109 Senior Member

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    Then there are the "gear heads". We should all know by now that men are different than women. Even male sissies can't completely leave their love a equipment and gear behind them. It doesn't matter if you're hunting, fishing, playing basket ball or football, skiing or hiking, ya gotta have gear! That's just the way it is.
     
  10. gabby
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    gabby Lets try this all again

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    Another reason for wearing a device is for the Mistress (or Master). Mistress.K loves seeing me in it, and it gives her pleasure that i can't even touch myself when wearing it. This doesn't mean I'm in it constantly though, in fact, it is more of a part time obsession of hers.

    I'm also honest with her about my orgasms, and always always ask for permission first. She just loves seeing me wear the device.. also a good punishment part of our kink.

    gabby :cat:
     
  11. Mistress Watchful
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    Mistress Watchful Dont believe the hype ;oP

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    I second the "seeing the device" option... I love how they look.

    I also love knowing 100% that his cock belongs to me. Of course there is trust, but I have have a horny 24 year old pet, and although I trust him in all other respects, he is very weak when it comes to masturbation.

    If he's not locked up I just assume he is taking care of his needs on a daily basis, which means I don't have to... which leads to less sex and resentment... but that's just us!

    To each their own.

    ETA: And you can also bash a nail in with a shoe... If you see what I mean!
     
  12. dorcsssc
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    dorcsssc Member

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    I agree (w/ initial post) completely. Guys who go on & on about their devices, their ad-nauseum fitment episodes, etc., are generally dudes that are just obsessed with their own dicks (or the attendant current levels of horniness & frustration), and often do it because they don't have any relationship to speak of anyway (other than very transient ones, such as on-line mistresses).

    The real jewels on these sites are the posts - especially stories - that delve into all the nuances & interactive dynamic of a chastity-controlled relationship.

    Human anatomy itself limits the possible variations on the devices. Just like sexual positions, they're finite and easily enumerated; but the possibilities of human interaction - especially in a very involved one like a marriage - are unlimited (or, if finite, are at least not likely to be exhausted in a lifetime).
     
  13. mikecb
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    mikecb Member

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    I see both sides of the argument. While I've demonstrated the self-control to go 5 months without cheating, having a device as a reminder would probably help. Also, for me, there is a HUGE satisfaction in the pseudo-bondage of it. It feels so GOOD to have my cock locked up. :jumping0046:
     
  14. allfullup
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    allfullup Member

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    I can think of perfectly legitimate reasons to be interested in the details of devices. First of all, there are chastity fetishists, and I don't see that it's anyone's place to tell them they can't have their kinks. There are people like me who are pushing the limits of their will power and actually are seeking a Fort Knox to take them where they hope to go. There are people whose keyholders are far away and who may not have ready access to a key in case of trouble. There are people playing seriously in the implied-consent, expensive-safeword realm for whom failure is not an option.

    There are also those who used to play with their penises incessantly before they were locked up, and it is an interesting question whether the device is serving as a surrogate penis. While this sort of poster may be tedious reading at times, those "gear-heads" do advance the knowledge of the art and the science of enforced chastity and the community would be worse off without them.
     
  15. Mistress Watchful
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    Mistress Watchful Dont believe the hype ;oP

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    .... and the shopping experience....
     
  16. xcitex2
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    xcitex2 Back from the past!

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    don't usually chime in when I can see a debate forming but my two cents are this. When we were living the chastity experience my wife loved the look of the device and thus it added to her excitement as well. Now of course when we are new to wearing it we are going to complain bout fit, security, and all that other stuff. for me wearing it was and is part of the fetish itself. It also served as a very quick reminder when I failed to have enough self control not to browse porn site etc. When you really cant get out and you have a quality device you realize quickly who is in control. for others like mike for example (sorry man but since you are in this thread) he has enough control to make it five months on his own and that is great. So there really in my opinion is not a wrong or a right side of this. For some, like me, who love bondage the cage is that symbol and wearing it in and of itself is euphoric.
    for others the need to submit mentally without the device is their desire or need and kudos to them who can!
     
  17. JoannaLewis
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    JoannaLewis Junior Member

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    Hahahahaha!

    Gadgets for sissies!
     
  18. JoannaLewis
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    JoannaLewis Junior Member

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    I agree with everything you say except that for me it's not pseudo bondage.

    A) I have hardly any self control and masturbate far too much.

    B) I love bondage and I'm terrible at DIY or anything handy, so I'd never be able to pick even a relatively low security padlock. Having my most intimate area locked tight is the biggest thrill as a bondage experience goes.

    Only being cuffed, leashed and walked around the shopping centre is more exciting.
     
  19. Sissy_Aline
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    Sissy_Aline Senior Member

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    Why we are here

    To both learn and share experiences. To have the inspiration to do anything - be it play with chastity, sissy and maid and even the final frontier here of cuckolding. We can't know everything so we try to get the kinks we need. It's a good group here and endless learning possibilities.

    The locks come on during the summer for me - and it is powerful to be locked and knowing it. For both sides of the equation :)

    :butterfly:
     
  20. ladylionzsissy
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    ladylionzsissy male chastity sissymaid

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    i have had too much of a problem with masturbation and need to stay locked in order to stayy focussed. at one point i even figured out how to cum while locked up, and i was to ashamed to tell Mistress how and what i was fantasizing about - but not too ashamed to ask for a tighter, stricter and meaner chastity!
     
  21. sissy belle
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    sissy belle Not me in dress.....yet!

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    To further draw out the feelings many have seemed to express, I like the idea of it. In theory the idea of being locked is erotic, to me is it practical to be locked 24/7? No, it wouldn't be practical at all. Which leads me to "Why spend hundreds if not thousands of dollars over the course of a couple years on a device I can only use while not working."

    Personally I do like the idea of a device to 'remind' me of my place, but the reality of it is, if I'm going to cheat I'm going to cheat. I could masturbate in any device...put something in my head and I'm going to accomplish it one way or another. Do I masturbate and cum way too often? I feel so. While I don't experience a full chastity lifestyle, I do report to my wife when I've cum and what I was doing when I did. It is up to her if she wants to' punish me or let it slide, frequently it's punishment.

    Without a device I can go a couple weeks easily without having an orgasm. It's just those last 10-14 days that are the problem days. This is a change though from when I started to self-impose and later include my wife in the chastity. IT felt like I couldn't go a DAY.

    So while I do like the idea of a device I feel the practicality of the fetish vs. what I can ACTUALLY do without it is is overrated. I'd rather save my pennies personally for other toys than something that won't get used (in my case of course) that frequently.
     
  22. KathleenGurl
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    KathleenGurl Junior Member

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    I totally agree.. i COULD remain celibate and hands off on Mistress's say so alone. But that doesn't give Her the assurance that CB offers (Her). Some times the ChastityBelt isn't all about the submissive.

    Black-Light inspection
    A number of the larger pet stores sell a hand held blacklight used to locate & identify pet stains. Cum stains also floresce in a uniquely identifiable manner.

    Your Dom/Domme could use this to run random inspections looking for telltale signs of misbehavior.

    -[ REF:
    http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Can_a_black_light_detect_semen_stains
     
  23. maid katrin
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    maid katrin chaste sissy maid

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    Overemphasis on the chastity device? Hmmm, i think this all depends on the chastee's and the Mistress's preferences. Of course, chastity is always a matter of trust - without and with a device and if i would really want to break my Neosteel, there would always be a way. But that's not the point. I rather believe that the importance of a device fits in a similar category like the question if someone feels the need for dressing or not. Some need it, some don't - that's the way the world is like.

    In my case the chastity belt is in no way for preventing me from masturbating or cheating on my Mistress. On the contrary, my "male" libido is nearly down to zero (nothing to feel sorry for me - it's just what i wanted since it woke in my teens) so actually there'd be no reason at all for a chastity belt - weird but true.
    However, as i stated many times before, i am a hopeless steel bondage slut and the feeling of steel permanently locked to my body makes me feel even more submissive. This goes for my bracelet, my collar and of course my chastity belt. All those devices locked at all times make me feel truly owned and they all are strong symbols of my submission to my beloved Mistress. Certainly, you may say that deep love does not need symbols, but don't people who are dearly in love do wear wedding rings as well?
    Finally there is another reason for the importance of wearing a belt. It keeps my .... you know what i mean, out of sight and nearly out of mind. My crotch is flat like a girls and nothing is there to hurt my feminine feelings. So to say it is an alternative to a risky operation which a fear very much.
    Of course, the device was expensive, almost ridiculously expensive, but on the other hand, over the years i spent probaly the tenfold (or more) on dresses and shoes. Would you seriously tell a woman that she overemphasizes the importance of dresses and shoes??? Did i already tell that i am a dressaholic ....?

    Hugs and curtseys

    maid katrin
     
  24. sevriano69
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    sevriano69 Sevriano69

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    Now there's the real answer. What works for one doesn't work for all. We all have different things that ring our bell. myself it's having no way out of the situation. For years i practiced only upon myself without having a Mistress and have a extreme fetish for S/M and Bondage. Pretty hard to practice bondage upon ones self and have the satisfaction i desired (I did find a pair of handcuffs that have a key frozen into a tube so for 4 to 6 hours i was 100% bound) But the bottom line we all are different regardless of how much we think the same. And i am the first to admit i WILL try to get out and it's only for the sole purpose of seeing if i am 100% tough out of luck (best words i could think of) plus getting caught brings up so many fun penalties and some not so fun but deserving
     
  25. Abulia
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    Abulia Member

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    I've never experienced the kind of submission that I feel on my knees with the device on, uttering our lockup phrase, and looking into her eyes as she locks the device closed. The room spins, my heart swells, and it takes every ounce of willpower to not reach to caress or grovel at her feet in thanks. Sometimes she lets me and it takes about 20 minutes to come down from the high.

    It's a completely new layer of submission that heretofore I didn't know existed.

    That's the "why" for me.
     
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