So I've reached a sort of crossroads where I don't know for sure how to proceed. I've been thinking a lot about getting a real chastity device. Here's our current situation: We have a long term, stable marriage, no cheating or problems in the bedroom, and can communicate directly and honestly with each other. This alone gets rid of 99% of the potential problems, which is pretty good. After experimenting heavily with CD / bondage in earlier years, finally realized there is none of this kink in me, it just felt silly, uncomfortable and wrong when doing it for real. I have only one kink, which I never expected to find, but now love, which is orgasm denial. Wife appreciates it too, has no problems receiving all the orgasms for months at a time. It took a long time to convince her I enjoyed this too, but now she is happy to just receive oral pleasure and leave penetration for a very rare occasion, if ever. She doesn't care if I do cum or not however, and shows little interest in being a keyholder or gatekeeper for me - and we don't expect this to change. There is no point in trying to force interest in something which she doesn't have an interest in. So my wife and I have already gone through many cycles of this goddess worship / orgasm denial experiment, using self control only for enforcement. I haven't cheated at it and have been chaste long term for very long periods (over a year). But this time, I can't help it... I have a very powerful fantasy about being locked up and it has only gotten stronger. I think I may need the extra reinforcement of a device to keep myself from being able to get off. I know from experimentation that a rigid tube device, metal or plastic will not work for me, it will pinch and be painful and cause problems. A full belt is totally out of the question. It has to be comfortable to wear at night and discrete. So I am considering a birdlock style device or a homemade modification or rendition of it (you can cast silicone at home), secured with numbered cable ties. I believe this can be made secure against pull out for my anatomy. I'm not sure if I will be able to orgasm in the device. Ideally, I would like to be able to get turned on, but unable to orgasm in it, or at least, very rarely so. Since my wife has little interest in deciding how long I stay locked, I want mostly a deterrent to stop myself from attempting to orgasm when I am alone. This is where I am unsure how far to proceed. If I can get a good fit and a good deterrent effect from the device, I would ideally like to wear the device near permanently. If every couple of years, my wife gets the itch for penetration, I don't want it to be impossible, and so it's nice to be able to just snip a cable tie to get out - but also nice to have the reassurance that she can check if I've been out otherwise. Normally, I would tell someone new to this to proceed with caution, this sounds like too much fantasy. However, I have done way over a year before without an orgasm, which was quite enjoyable for both of us and not a struggle at all, and been off and on with this for about 4 years. Someday, after we're done having intercourse (which is very likely, after we are done having kids, we would like to switch to purely oral worship of her - and we've already discussed this), I think I'd like to wear the device and live permanently without orgasm. If it turns out I can still orgasm in it, so be it, but I'd then only orgasm while pleasuring her, and have a much more frustrating and slow release than a full, spurting climax (I can orgasm like that today, just from pleasuring her, without stimulating myself, and while wearing tight underwear, so it is possible I'll still be able to cum every once in a while). Just wondering if anyone here has been in a similar situation, and how things ended up turning out. And the bigger question, does it seem reasonable for me to pursue the chastity thing further or is the device route a false end, should I focus more on self control? I'm sure she will find the device a bit weird if we do go that route, but I'd talk to her about it first, and it wouldn't be the strangest thing I've ever proposed or that we have done.
I found this site because there was a google link on men using strap ons to pleasure their wives. We like this activity (And for men with ED its great) and the variety that having more then one "cock" available for sex offers. I admit I enjoy giving my wife an orgasm where mine is not (in the way) of doing it well. But I enjoy getting (orgasms) a bit too much to give serious thought to having my cock locked up. I also have felt that there is a common thread of lock up, expanded denial, cuckolding and in it seems many cases male feminization. Its kinky but I don't really want this for myself and my wife is not into this either. We really seek better "quality" sex and quantity is part of that. Going weeks, months or years without seems like the worst possible nightmare to me. Ok, that aside I think that denial of orgasm is really pretty difficult with most of the devices. What stops you from using a vibe or whatever to "get off" even if your cock is locked up? I that outside of the old full belt with lots of padding its difficult to see how it would really work in real life. What does work is your being willingly controlled / or even "locked" up. And by your own admission is this not what your doing now? And I can see how being locked up and properly "trained" can do some nice things in a relationship like making sex not just about you and your orgasm. If you put your wife first and make her pleasure #1 I think it makes for a better relationship. I dunno, I'm vanilla, conventional and guided by a lot of stuff that many folks probably scoff at but.... Just a thought.