Am I being premature or just immature?

Discussion in 'Novices and newbies' started by For K, Jun 25, 2018.

  1. For K
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    For K New member

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    I’m new on this site. I’ve never had a key holder but I have had cages and am currently wearing one (of course I have both keys).
    I’m getting married in August to a lady I’ve known for 4.5 years, but haven’t seen in 3 years although we communicated all that time. I locked up on June 22nd and will meet her 2 weeks before our wedding.
    We’re both divorced but want to remain chaste until our wedding night. We haven’t discussed cages or chastity belts before, but I want to present her with the key on a waist chain for her to wear for those two weeks.
    Am I being premature in giving her the key? Will it screw up our marriage before we screw? Am I being immature to think about it at this time?
    I’m 58, she’s 50.
     
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  2. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Long term member

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    Yes, you're being immature. If you've never discussed chastity with her and present her with a key to your locked penis, how do you think she's going to react?

    You have to talk this through with her. Take off the cage until you have. This isn't a game, it's real life.
     
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  3. For K
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    For K New member

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    Thank you
     
  4. Dumb1
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    Dumb1 senior member

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    i totally agree with lester although this may seem inside your head a wonderful sign of your devotion to your future wife it is only your own secret pleasure aiming to be satisfied. Enjoy your time with your future wife when you meet, take time to discuss everything and try and get a sense of whether or not she may be acceptable to you having certain ideas and fantasies and see if there may be hope of some day exploring them together when she is ready. You obviously find the idea of being locked and controlled by her as sexy and hopefully she may too, but there is also the possibility that she will be horrified by the very idea so tread carefully and find out before it goes too far.
     
  5. sissy_connie
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    sissy_connie Long term member

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    I think that you ought to talk about it first.....that way you can back away and screw things up.
     
  6. sissy_connie
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    sissy_connie Long term member

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    BTW your avatar looks just like the key to my small pink Holy Trainer :) I hope you like it..i like mine.
     
  7. DonnaSue
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    DonnaSue Long term member

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    Immature! Don't drop a bomb on her at a critical point in your relationship. You stand a good chance of messing things up really good. Start now to open up communications about lots of things (not sexual or real personal) that each of you like and dislike and find out what She is looking for - or not. Perhaps, during that discussion, you will find an appropriate time to introduce the chastity concept and how it will benefit Her. Let cages and your willingness to submit naturally come up during that chastity conversation Go slowly!
     
  8. For K
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    For K New member

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    Thank you for your replies. I can’t say that I’m happy about them, but I respect the opinions and the time you have taken to respond. This is why I asked. Got to learn from the veterans.
     
  9. Retired
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    Retired Locked 6 years Nov 2018

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    My wife was a submissive virgin when we married and over the years she has tried every fetish I asked her to. How? Doing it a little at a time. I never showed up with my penis in a hunk of plastic. I explained Tantric sex to her and asked if she would help me not to orgasm during sex for a few weeks to see how intense my orgasm would be and how it would affect my behavior to her. I then used positive reinforcement to show her the benefits. I only mentioned the device when we discussed orgasm denial for longer periods of time.

    Springing it on your wife to be 2 weeks before the wedding is not the way I would recommend. First off, if you do not have the self control to not masturbate for 2 weeks, your odds of making chastity work will be small. I assume that you are aware that you still can masturbate when locked up by one of several ways. If not, look at some chastity porn to see how.

    I would discuss your desire with her and perhaps suggest that after the wedding night you try chastity to see if it makes sex better for both of you. An easy way to start off is to simply ask that she locks up you up between your normal times to have sex explaining that just wearing it makes you hornier and increases the intensity of your orgasm. Then after she gets used to that, tell her that you would like to see if your orgasms get better if you wait longer for them but you still can have sex on your normal schedule. She should not object to not letting you orgasm once. Tell her to just make sex all about her once in a while to see how she likes it. From there you can use positive reinforcement to show her the benefits of prolonged chastity. This same approach has worked for me for all fetish play between my wife and I.

    I never met a woman who wanted to be worshipped or deny me orgasms. There probably are a few, but none really born that way. It is all about training for both you and your wife. However, at some point the trainer has to step out of his training role and let the trainee take charge.
     
    bondinchas likes this.
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