Almost desperate

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by Victoria23, Jan 4, 2022.

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  1. Lady&sub
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    Lady&sub New member

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    Sit down and have a long and loving talk. Make sure that he knows that at this talk (or talks) there is a safe place for him to say exactly what he needs to say without any punishment after. Ask him how he have it most of the time - and not in his fantasy world, but in the real world. Is it too hard on him? He can wish a really hard dominatrix but in reality not be ready to live it and so on.. Do he have any ideas that would make it easier for him? Sometimes it is necessary to take a step backward before going two steps forward. Hopefully, it is not a sprint you guys are doing but a marathon that you can keep on doing without burning out in it. Well I could keep going, but I think and hope you get my point.
     
  2. cagedfellow
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    cagedfellow Active member

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    I do not claim to have any advice to give. your sub is one of the very rare ones to share a relationship with a dominant woman. I would go with certain comments that it is necessary to have a safe ground where your dominated can express himself. but he must be considered very lucky and sometimes he has to refocus and correction is necessary. I agree with some comments about the challenge that controlled male chastity brings. it could become a source of anxiety. maybe your submissive needs a tease or a release?

    personally, the pressure to come becomes strong in several circumstances: temporary manipulation and need for attention, desired and poorly communicated fantasy, stress, etc. for my part, if my kh punished me with too heavy sentences, I would become discouraged. as long as I get the attention, the bonding, the affection, and the goals that I am capable of achieving, I become much stronger and perseverant. take care of you.
     
  3. dm6360
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    dm6360 New member

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    Usually when I'm having trouble, my Mistress can tell that something is wrong. We then sit down and have a convo about what is bothering me and it usually turns out that it's something selfish that I'm feeling, example: I should be able to cum like other men.

    After we have gotten it all out, she always gets us back to our place of remembering that we are in a FLM and that I have agreed that she is in control.

    She then gives me a maintenance spanking that lasts a long time to help me get back to my happy place.

    Maybe all he needs is for you to discipline him.
     
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  4. valesk25
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    valesk25 Active member

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    It's all about good communication.

    We suspect the Dominant female doesn't have English as a first language.

    We also can't assume that "breakdown" means full metal jacket "mental breakdown" whereby the male sub needs hospitalisation and medicinal care.

    When I read it first, I saw blubbering male in front of his Mistress not fully realising what he'd gotten into. Equally with good communication they could work things out.

    What I still can't work out is if hubby can't respond here is this an act of abuse or is he unable to communicate properly.

    Not sure we've enough information to make any calls except to say if it's a real breakdown then external help is needed quickly.
     
  5. Victoria23
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    Victoria23 Member

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    If he really want to get out, he can. But he know that after that, problems will arise between us. He wanted to cum, not to be released. I can't understand why it's so strange that he asked to cum and I said no...
     
  6. jack5589
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    Mistress Victoria, to answer you question, No it is not strange at all for you to deny your husband an orgasm when he asks or begs for one. As his keyholder it is of course at your discretion when or if he is allowed to cum.

    I also wanted to thank you for sharing your posts about your lifestyle. I have re-read all your posts. I think the language barrier may cause some misinterpretation of your meaning.

    In looking at your posts, it seems to me that you are quit strict with your husband's chastity as well as his access to other pleasures such as allowing him to pleasure you orally. I know there are many ladies who view chastity much as you: the husband is denied most or all releases and with very limited to sexual access to you, and they are cuckolds as their wives have taken other lovers due to his chastity. In that, I do hope you give your husband some type of sexual enjoyment or relief such as teasing or milking. You state often that you want to remain strict with his chastity but make it as easy as possible, you obviously care very much for him. You state that your current lifestyle is a result of things progressing from a game initially to where you are now, having him very restricted in his chastity. I think this is also very common here. Some ladies are just much stricter in their desires for their chaste husbands than others.

    I can only imagine how hard his chastity must be as he is only 37 and restricted to 2 orgasms a year. If you follow through with your punishment for trying to cum, he will only have 1 orgasm this year and be pussy free forever! I am much older than him and I cannot imagine this for myself.

    I am curious what choice he made with your collar and handcuffs? Did he take your offer to be released from his cage for a short time while cuffed? This arrangement would be an ideal opportunity for you to tease or edge him without an orgasm, pushing his horniness even higher. But he would have no choice but to return to his tiny cage when you decided it was time!

    I hope you will continue to share you thoughts about you and your husbands journey.
     
  7. Victoria23
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    Victoria23 Member

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    I think that a "permanent" solution is something that turns me on, but I couldn't know what would happen in some years. I hope he'll never have sex again when I say so, but i can't know that. I use handcuff to make sure he won't come and to release him sometimes, in order to make his erections come back.
     
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  8. JaySaysYes
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    JaySaysYes Level-4 Sarcasm Master, PhD in Google, Ace Pedant.

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    Clearly he likes it otherwise he would be down he DIY store and getting the cage off.
     
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  9. Victoria23
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    Victoria23 Member

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    :confused:
     
  10. Trapped
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    Trapped Long term member

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    I think barring a true mental breakdown you made the correct decision. No person is forced to stay with a mate . If someone is unhappy with their relationship they can simply leave. If this is a lifestyle someone truly wants then both parties need to agree on the parameters that are set and accept the rules and consequences. In my personal FLR we have clear defined roles. My wife is in charge and the Alpha. I am submissive and the Beta. I no longer have control over the penis connected to my body, other than to urinate. It belongs to her and she chooses if and when she plays with it or it ejaculates. This is my own personal view and experience.
    Good luck.
     
  11. madams-sissysub
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    I agree!
     
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