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Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by Smoky, Aug 4, 2019.

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  1. Smoky
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    Smoky Member

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    #1 Smoky, Aug 4, 2019
    My wife is a very dominant woman. After more than four years of marriage I have realized the impossibility of making her submit to me because she is too strong willed. Most of our problems have been due to this struggle for power. She just can't understand why I make our marriage so stressful by refusing to submit to her and I suppose I thought the same thing about her. Both of us have made attempts to follow the other, but in vain.

    So we went all in on a female led marriage, and now she is in charge. She locked me in chastity several days ago because she has learned that if allowed to orgasm I become rebellious to her authority, which is true. Her simple solution was to deny me, and the chastity device has become the reminder to us both that she is in charge.

    So far, so good.
     
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  2. madams-sissysub
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    #2 madams-sissysub, Aug 4, 2019
    Good luck on your journey, and it’s good that you finally realised what is good for you!
     
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  3. Yelehiah
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    Yelehiah Active member

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    #3 Yelehiah, Aug 4, 2019
    The solution was very easy!
     
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  4. Chaste J.
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    Chaste J. Long term member

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    #4 Chaste J., Aug 4, 2019
    Hope it works out for you. Now you've worked out your roles hopefully you'll find things better all round.
     
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  5. Mr.CagedSkittles
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    #5 Mr.CagedSkittles, Aug 4, 2019
    It's really amazing how chastiy changes you into a better husband and man. I have been out of mine for a week and my Mistress said she noticed I'm slowly reverting back to my old ways, I've been irritable and not putting her first. She said i will pay for it
     
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  6. CuckeldBull
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    CuckeldBull Long term member

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    #6 CuckeldBull, Aug 4, 2019
    So is this like a permanent chastity or will you be allowed out for PIV and the occasional O? I loved being locked up but insist on PIV. I will lock myself up right away afterwards and very rarely am I out of it unless to change to a diffrent cage.
     
  7. MissyB
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    MissyB Long term member

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    #7 MissyB, Aug 4, 2019
    Sounds like she's taken the initiative to finally break you and mold you into a proper submissive husband. Good luck and remember that some of the best subs are former doms.
     
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  8. Smoky
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    Smoky Member

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    #8 Smoky, Aug 4, 2019
    She told me this morning that the cage is permanant because it is the only way to keep me submissive to her decisions. She has hinted at release on occasions where it is planned and earned but afterwards the cage goes back on. She told me to keep any notion of release out of my head for a long time. It is kind of like a period where she is breaking me and not going to risk my rebelling against her new position. She knows me well by now, so won't be fooled.
     
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  9. Smoky
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    Smoky Member

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    #9 Smoky, Aug 4, 2019
    Yes. That is exactly what she is doing. And she knows me so well she knows exactly how to do it.
     
  10. Smoky
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    Smoky Member

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    #10 Smoky, Aug 4, 2019
    We had a discussion this morning where we made it official that she is in charge. Old habits die hard of course, but she knows what is at stake and how to make it happen.
     
  11. demale
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    demale Long term member

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    #11 demale, Aug 4, 2019
    Over time your submission will become completely natural and you will be grateful to your wife for insisting upon it. The fact that you seem to be taking to it so willingly indicates that you may have been craving it all along. Has your wife written down rules for you to follow?
     
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  12. Smoky
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    Smoky Member

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    #12 Smoky, Aug 4, 2019
    Yes, it is something I have wanted for a long time, but it had to be her idea in order for it to work. I lack the willpower to surrender completely without her being fully resolved to change me. She has now taken matters into her hands.

    No, she has not written down rules, but she is no stranger to how this works so she has it pretty figured out. But I am guessing when she reads through this thread and sees your question, it might get into her head to do it. But honestly, she has this down pretty good due to her dominant personality. Maybe a little too good.
     
  13. demale
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    demale Long term member

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    #13 demale, Aug 4, 2019
    I agree. If the woman wants it, be it feminization or domination or cuckolding, it likely will happen.
     
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  14. piet00
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    #14 piet00, Aug 4, 2019
    I absolutely love the last sentence. Lucky You.
     
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  15. Guest 2014
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    #15 Guest 2014, Aug 6, 2019
    Both of us are dominant in our home. So we tend to clash. A lot of that has to do with my kids, her kids, our kids (2nd marriage each, prior kids each, adopted by us kids). We don’t agree on punishments all the time & her youngest thinks he controls everything. I absolutely will not let a 9 year old command me, he does control her, she denies it. I really can’t wait to see him get his ass kicked in the future, it’s gonna happen. Since I can’t/won’t allow him to be dominant there is a constant power struggle in our lives. We fight over him frequently. I have no problem submitting to her on almost anything else. But refuse wholeheartedly to give slack that he will then take. She won’t punish him for what he does to disobey & disrespect us. That is our #1 issue.
     
  16. MJ
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    MJ
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    #16 MJ, Aug 7, 2019
    Do you feel like lockups have helped your fighting? I feel like you have to be open and willing and just accept the lockups without being angry about it. I’m new to this site, not new to KH though. I have really enjoyed reading all the stories from the husbands about how the cage play has made them appreciate and love their wives more! Awesome to see how amazing it can be.
     
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  17. Jail Bird
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    Jail Bird Long term member

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    #17 Jail Bird, Aug 7, 2019
    So true! I do so much better locked up. Everything just seems to go better when I'm caged.

    If I'm out I get the same way as you. My wife will sometimes say "looks like it time to get into your belt" That's not a hint by her, I go and get back into my belt and present myself to her for locking. I also pay for it! The belt is just step one. Trouble sitting for a few days is step two. As much as I hate to tell her I do so much better in my cage that I really don't want to be let out. I do love to be free but usually want to go back into chastity very soon. Makes no sense does it? If we're free we want to be locked up, if we're locked up we want to be free! Men! LOL
     
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  18. MissCarly
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    MissCarly Carly

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    #18 MissCarly, Aug 8, 2019
    I have experimented with attaching an ownership tag to my PA (a ring attached to the PA and another attached to that with the tag) but have found that I have to adjust the rings and tag as they will pinch my balls over time. This makes me aware of my penis being accessable. The rings make it difficult and awkward but I don't think impossible to masturbate. Haven't tried to but my hand is in too much contact due to the adjusting. So it is good for staying chaste as it is impossible to have sex while wearing the rings but very easy to fondle. So, I just put my cage back on for the foreseeable future. A photo of the rings in place is in the gallery, in case it's hard to picture. This is a long way of agreeing with you. Being locked is oddly comforting and calming. Best of luck to you. You sound like a lucky man.
     
  19. Guest 2014
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    #19 Guest 2014, Aug 8, 2019
    I can’t really say that the fights have let up. Since these stem around non sexual situations b. And of course that puts both our moods off and then there is no “play” which in turn creates extra frustration.
    I don’t have to cum for sex to be good, being locked up has definitely put more focus on her satisfaction in bed, and I’m completely ok with that. We had gone months without any sexual contact at a time. Then a few weeks before she brought up a cock cage we were having nightly wild sex, and that continued after chastity started. We here we are I’m being ignored and well that sets me back into an easy trigger for anger. Locked or not, being ignored doesn’t float well with me for long periods. I don’t want nightly by any means. But some play or teasing a couple times a week would be ideal.
    Hopefully you can understand where I’m coming from.
     
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  20. MJ
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    MJ
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    #20 MJ, Aug 8, 2019
    I definitely do, but Try to have maybe understanding where she is coming from, what she is feeling, instead of thinking she is purposely ignoring you. Maybe she’s doing it to sexually frustrate her caged man ;)
     
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  21. Guest 2014
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    Guest 2014 Active member

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    #21 Guest 2014, Aug 8, 2019
    If only you were right. Sadly I know that isn’t the case. Having been experienced with her and knowing that when she is like this it’s 3-6 months and then it’s usually only so I’ll shut up. She looses her sex drive & has zero interest of any kind. Because she doesn’t want sex I’m not supposed to either. That was before chastity, now if we are going down that road with me locked it’s gonna be far worse in me. Frustration turns to anger quite easily. And being irritable doesn’t help.
     
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  22. mcfeely
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    mcfeely Long term member

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    #22 mcfeely, Aug 8, 2019
    Wife tried that crap with me. I told her that as long as I agreed with her she could do her thing but when I didn't the game was over ( she is the one who wanted to lock). I didn't and wont tell her what limits I am ok with and that makes her very careful. Just a thought.
     
  23. Smoky
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    Smoky Member

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    #23 Smoky, Aug 9, 2019
    Well, my wife let me out two days ago because she wanted a romantic evening and I must say, it was among the best sex we have have ever had. Something about being locked up and denied for five days heightened the sensitivity, as well as the phenomenon that she was GIVING me the pleasure, and I wasn't just selfishly taking it.

    At the end of it she allowed that I could have a couple of days out of the cage to allow healing, as there are a few battle wounds due to me being unaccustomed to the tight confinement. I thought that very generous of her and have not even been tempted to violate her trust by masturbating or looking at other women, etc.

    She announced this morning that when she gets home from work she would be locking me up as soon as she gets home, lest I slip back into old patterns. She says I am far from being trusted to myself, and that she has just begun my training into what a real man and husband should be, locking and denial to be an integral part of such training.

    So I lay here awaiting my last hour of freedom before she gets home to lock me back up and do whatever comes to her mind as the best way to make me a "better and more obedient husband". Whatever that means, I am sure of only one thing, that it will be more according to her way of thinking, than to my way.

    What a wife. Sigh.
     
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  24. MJ
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    MJ
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    #24 MJ, Aug 9, 2019
    Do not sigh!!! What a wife...Hell yes!!! This sounds so familiar to my last KH relationship. Trust me...listen to her!! Give her your full attention.....STOP lusting after other women and being selfish with your sexual pleasure. I promise if you give her 110% of your lust, your attention, devotion, keys, and love, she will give you everything you have ever dreamed of within the boundaries of your relationship! Or within her boundaries:)) after all ..she holds the keys!!!!
     
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  25. asimpleman23
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    asimpleman23 Long term member

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    #25 asimpleman23, Aug 9, 2019
    Kind, wise words the neophyte should trust in. : )
     
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