Advice on numbing and strap-on

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by longtallsally, Aug 21, 2022.

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  1. longtallsally
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    longtallsally Long term member

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    I would be grateful for some advice on two things which are rather new to us.

    There’s a fairly long back-story, (here, and also here, and this too) but essentially:

    I would be very grateful for any tips on using numbing cream and a condom. (I want him inside me, but I don’t want him to come (complicated reasons – see links)). Actually, we have tried this and it didn’t go brilliantly because I brought him too close to the edge before the numbness kicked in, but I’d like us to have another go. It’s not so much the practical side I’m asking about (glove, cream, condom) but mainly whether he’s likely to be able to stay hard or any other things to be aware of in terms of aftercare, other than reassurance?

    Also, and this is a very big step for us, we’re going to try him with a strap-on, while he’s caged. There’s plenty on the internet about the practicalities and he’s doubtless doing his homework as I've asked him to get hold of the necessary bits and pieces. But I’m more worried about the mental side. If you’ve tried this before, was it just weird, or was it upsetting? I want it to be squirmy and a little humiliating but are we playing with fire?

    Grateful for any thoughts.
    Thank you.
    Sal.
     
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  2. King Hippo
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    King Hippo Long term member

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    Anything is worth a shot once or twice, so I don't think you are playing with fire here... I personally don't use numbing cream or gel... but when we tried it... the one with Lidocaine worked the best for us.

    You have to find that sweet spot though, and it is different for everyone. Some people need 1 pump of it, some people need 10.

    Put it on the penis before anything, it lasts quite some time... and your partner will KNOW when it is working... Just have to get him hard after it is working which shouldn't be too hard unless he is super nervous.

    This is the one we used... but you can get anything with 5 to 10% lidocaine in it... and you will be fine.

    https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01K5S5KWE/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1

    Good luck to you.
     
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  3. OwedbyJM
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    OwedbyJM Long term member

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    We have tried the strap on. It had been a while since my last release. She started playing with my nipples and I came. It was a huge powerful mindfuck. If that happens, just be ready for aftercare.
     
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  4. Jay Sub
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    Jay Sub Married with Cage

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    Tried the strap on a couple of times. I loved it and she prefers the real thing. First time was a learning experience, didn't work with the triangle plate on the harness, so I stripped it down to just ring and straps so it sat just above the cage. Was a much better position for making love. We have a Vixskin slightly bigger than me. Enjoy
     
  5. Xileh
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    Xileh Happily Serving

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    We use a strapon while I am caged. She loves it. She can focus on her own feelings without worrying about me or my ability to last as long as she needs or stay hard.

    For the man, it is a mind bender. You can see and stroke this big cock, you can go though all the movements, you can see her react, but you feel nothing. It is very strange. It can take me hours to recover.

    It is a major tease, and he will be on fire, but it is not upsetting at all.

    Use lots of lube, and warm it in hot water for at least thirty minutes. Enjoy.
     
  6. Xileh
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    Xileh Happily Serving

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    Another option is a sleeve. He is unlikely to feel a thing and will have more natural control. Pay attention to the internal dimensions before purchasing.
     
  7. longtallsally
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    longtallsally Long term member

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    Thank you!! When you say it can take you hours to recover, may I ask what you mean? Does it mean he'll need a lot of reassurance all that time? Or something else? I think this is the bit I'm most worrying about because I don't know what the effect will be. Sal
     
  8. longtallsally
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    longtallsally Long term member

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    Ah, thank you -we hadn't thought of that. I was worried that a sleeve would slip off and get lost inside somewhere, or if it were tight enough, then it might stop him staying hard? Sorry to be so clueless! Sal
     
  9. Xileh
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    Using a strapon or a sleeve can be a pretty intense tease. He is bound to become super aroused and his cage will be very tight. You will roll over into blissful sleep and he will still be quite worked up.
     
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  10. Xileh
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    Don’t worry, you will know exactly where to find it!

    A well fitting sleeve can use a ball strap, or rely on suction. You can roll them up, and then unroll them over his penis like very thick condom. Use very little or no lube. It will stay put if if has a snug fit. He will still have some sensation, but if you use lube sparingly, he won’t move around in it denying him the friction required to climax. With some sensation, he may be able to stay hard. This is why you need to pay attention to the interior measurements.
     
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  11. Andy88
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    Andy88 Long term member

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    I just choked on my morning coffee.. dont worry.. the sleeve is not that tiny to be lost in the space of emptiness.. it is elastic and wraps aound the penis snugly.. on the contrary he might find it is too tight and restrictive.. it has varying degrees of thickness too.
    Provided the penis has to achieve some hardness and real hardness..nothing sh**tier than a soft penis enveloped with another gelly wobbly thingy.. pop some stimulant into him if you must.. so that you will enjoy great sex at his expense.. he will feel restricted sensation.. and probably wont cum even after yours.
     
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  12. longtallsally
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    longtallsally Long term member

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    Sorry to cause you to choke! I've just looked up sleeves on the web. I understand better now. :) :) Sal
     
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  13. madams-sissysub
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    I have seen a device that is a cage and strap on all in one, but I cannot remember where! It may of been something like sissy shop, I found the link on a tweet, il keep an eye out for it again.
     
  14. tomf_22033
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    tomf_22033 Long term member

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    Way back when my then partner and I played with numbing sprays. The ones at the sex shops work but are expensive. Get the spray in the pharmacy section of a Walmart, CVS or other pharmacy.

    Spray a little. Wait a few min then repeat until numb. Do a few more times and you can make it so you can’t feel anything.

    Now be sure to wait until it’s fully dry or use a condom. Getting this in her makes for some really weird sex. She will go numb too! And yes we learned the hard way.

    Once numb it’s a wild experience fucking and not feeling anything. You can quickly go soft, but if she talks dirty it can really help keep you hard as the brain is the biggest sex organ and the cock is stupid and doesn’t know it’s dumb!

    Personally I really enjoyed this and if my new partner is up for it may see if she is interested. It really is fun.
     
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  15. longtallsally
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    longtallsally Long term member

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    Thank you, that's really helpful. It's useful advice because I sometimes go a bit quiet during sex because I'm just completely lost in the moment - I might need to remember to have some choice phrases ready! Sal
     
  16. ChasteCel
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    ChasteCel 7/6 on the TomAllen-Rectrix scale

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    Hey ... I think you've also mentioned you've been playing with his nipples a lot for that association? That might help too!
     
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  17. handsolo
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    Just a wild guess out of nowhere, given that Pete has been conflicted and emotional at times. It may be in your best interest to take a firm lead/active role here. Put the harness and dildo on him with his assistance. Stroke it as if it were real, then have him stroke it for your viewing pleasure. Give it a few wet kisses, making eye contact like you would normally. Be vocal and appreciative.

    When the time comes, mount him from the top so he has a good view, and you can control the thrusting. You can direct him to use his hands or a vibe to make sure you get yours. Generally, take away the decision making and performance anxiety, so all he has to deal with is the new sensation of third party surrogacy.

    He seems very eager to please, so if it appeals to you at all, really ham it up with the moaning, writhing and vocal cheerleading. Next time, let him take more of an active role, and let him show some initiative. Soon enough, he'll be enthusiastically humping away while holding your ankles to your ears, just as if he were hunting his own orgasm.

    When he's fully submitted to his role as an inanimate sex robot , you can try having him clean your bliss off the dildo with his mouth after you remove the harness.
     
  18. handsolo
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    handsolo Long term member

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    They also have strap on harnesses with hollow dildos. You could numb him, put on the harness, and his erection or lack thereof would be a moot point. It could also be used while caged, so points for versatility.
     
  19. tomf_22033
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    tomf_22033 Long term member

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    I’m glad I could be of help.

    My former partner was pretty shy and quiet. So it took a little encouragement. But once she relaxed and saw how much fun we both could have she really got into it. Hence I hope the same happens for you and you have an amazing time. Please share with us if you don’t mind.
     
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  20. longtallsally
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    longtallsally Long term member

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    Of course! I'm posting (probably too much, but I use it as therapy) to my journal/diary on this CM website. I think the link should be in my signature. Thanks again, Sal
     
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  21. longtallsally
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    longtallsally Long term member

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    Gosh, people have invented everything! If we can make it work, I'd rather he's hard but unable to come, because I think it'll be more frustrating for him and less 'mechanical' for both of us, if you know what I mean. But thanks for the suggestion. Sal
     
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  22. longtallsally
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    longtallsally Long term member

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    Thank you!! Your first paragraph makes total sense to me, except that means I have to get confident first with all the mechanical contraption side of things. I might have him show me how it goes on. The idea of stroking it etc feels very weird. If it's already making me feel peculiar, just thinking about it, I can't imagine what he'll feel.
    I see what you've done there, in your second paragraph: You've taken away his performance anxiety and given it to me! :) :) I'm feeling very unsure about that, although I understand why you've suggested it. Hmmm...
    As for ankles, ears - 'm still laughing!
    Inanimate sex robot. Eeeek, I know you're joking (you are joking, aren't you???!) but that's a dark place I don't want to go.
    Sal
     
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  23. Chaste J.
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    Chaste J. Long term member

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    We always use a strap on. Mrs Chaste just loves it. She mostly likes to ride it (not always). She enjoys looking in my eyes as she comes and I don't. She sometimes will have a little play and tease of my locked penis or sometimes she just says "I'm finished now, you can go". That is super frustrating and the feeling of just being used is fantastic.
     
  24. Andy88
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    Andy88 Long term member

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    The sexiest thing a man can do for his wife is to clean up any insertion that has gone into her pussy.. ass.. and make it ready for its next use.
     
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  25. coffee2sugars
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    coffee2sugars Long term member

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    If you are in the UK you can get a cream from the chemist called EMLA.

    Its a anesthetic cream used mainly on kids that require injections. Some chemist can be funny about giving it out but it does does not require a prescription just a good reason for purchasing.

    Apply to tip and cover with a condom. Tease to maintain arrousal for about 5 - 10 minutes and afterbthat he will be able to fuck for ages. He will feel everything but not where near enough stimulation to orgasm.

    Just avoid getting any cream on your own parts as it will numb you too lol.

    My wife does this as she doesn't enjoy starp ons and prefers the real thing.
     
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