Advice on next steps

Discussion in 'Novices and newbies' started by ATXSubby, Nov 2, 2020.

  1. ATXSubby
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    ATXSubby Member

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    Hi All!
    Last week I had surgery and the doctor told me to lay off doing anything physical or sexual for two weeks. Last Saturday night, my wife and I were fooling around but she told me I couldn't cum and we stopped short of that happening. She even joked about locking me up. The next day, I told her that I wanted to have sex and that I had urges to masturbate. She told me that I couldn't cum until Thursday and I told her that there was no way I would have the self control to make it until then. I suggested that I wear a chastity device (I have a couple and she knows about them and we have used them slightly in the past). She agreed but said if felt mean/cruel. I told her it was what I wanted and that I was asking her to hold the key for me so that I couldn't get to it.

    OK so now here we are. Me in chastity and her with the key. Our prior experiences with this has been she holds the key and then releases me at some point.....for good. What I really desire is for her to tease me any and every way while I'm in Chastity. Being forgotten in Chastity is kinda boring.

    Yesterday, we were out for an evening walk, and I told her that one of the things that I liked best about being in chastity is the constant reminder from the device that I'm in chastity. I have to think about sex to have urges for sex.

    I think she is down to humor me in this activity. For now, I'm just happy to be wearing a device and her to be holding the key. I want to take it slow because I don't want to overwhelm her. My question to the group, is how should I/we proceed from here?
     
  2. King Hippo
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    King Hippo Long term member

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    She has to decide for herself why whatever it is that you are doing is good for the relationship. I can only speak from my experience that my wife really gets more turned on by how much more intimate I am now.

    She said she felt bad at first with the tease and denial but she see how much for intimate I am because of it.... it is essentially 24/7 foreplay to me and she really gets turned on by how it makes me behave.

    if she can come up with rationale on why she is doing it, it will work long term.
     
  3. MissyB
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    MissyB Long term member

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    Yes, continue to talk with her and ask her how and where she might want to go with it. Based on her answers, give her support, information and time. It has to feel like it is something that works for you, her and the both of you, if it is really going to continue. For example, after you're cleared by doctor to resume sex, see if she wants to use cage for short periods, so you can focus on her. If she does, go in that direction. If not, try to find some other common ground. Good luck and enjoy.
     
  4. the odd tease
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    the odd tease Long term member

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    With your surgeons advice?

    Slowly, and together. Let her explore the 'female only' area and just stroll through chastity park at your own pace.
     
  5. Jessica Alexander
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    Jessica Alexander Trans woman not a mistress or Dom

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    When she lets you out, promise her that you will put it back on when fun time is over or you will do all the weekend chores (or whatever). Keep it simple and playful.
     
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