Advice needed

Exactly. Regardless of those who consider this as just a silly, fleeting fantasy "game" (which I certainly don't), please know that an arrangement of this nature --while it's supposed to be fun and agreeable to both parties-- can also have very serious and lasting consequences for you and your husband if not handled properly by you.

Having nothing less than full control of this arrangement is paramount for you, the wife. And effectively managing his chastity so that all your needs are met, while your relationship with him is sustained and, more importantly, enhanced, are key (no pun intended ) to ensuring your mutual happiness.

Given your comments, "indulging" him may not just lead to you losing all control (letting him to top from the bottom, a big NO-NO), but also possibly make you participate in activities proposed by your husband that you would not desire and that if fully explored, might unknowingly lead to big trouble in your relationship.

And that, would ultimately be neither fun nor agreeable to you, I suppose.

 

Claire-good question! Obviously, with a subject as personal and complex as sexuality, everybody will be different, but I can tell you about the experience my wife and I have had.

We'd been married for many years, happily, but sex had dwindled off to 3-4 times a year, with no real excitement. (Lights out, missionary position, etc). I was looking for some way to make it better, and stumbled, really, on the idea of male chastity online. I showed it to her and she was hesitant at first but willing to give it a try. I admit I was a bit hesitant at first also, figured it couldn't hurt.

I first got a plastic non-locking device just to get the feel of it. It was ok, and we decided we were willing to take the plunge and get a CB6000. This was about 5 weeks ago, and so far it's been terrific. I like the feel of it, gently tugging on my cock and balls. I get a sense of...security (for lack of a better word) while I'm wearing it. During the day when I'm working, I'll sometimes reach down and pat it (discretely) which gives me a sly smile. Plus, I have a bit of a bulge when I wear tight jeans, which we both kind of like.

My wife likes it more than she thought she would. She wears a necklace with the key constantly while I'm locked, (which is almost 24/7 now, except for a couple of breaks for "Funtime.") and will sometimes run her fingers over it when she knows I'm watching. We were looking online a few nights ago at other devices, not really with the intent of buying, when she spotted a bright pink one, pointed at it and said, "Ow, I think you should be in that one." She proceeded to order it then and there. (It arrives tomorrow). She's even mentioned that maybe I could get a tattoo on the site of my now-shaved pubic hair that says something like, "Owned by (her name)". I'm still thinking about that one!

Since I've been locked, we've become much more intimate. I pleasure her almost every night, either orally or manually. She lets me out every 5-7 days, (but unpredictably) and we have intercourse, which has been both much more exciting and much more often than before. I go back in as soon as my erection fades and I clean up a bit.

So, it's not about anything but sexual dominance for us, primarily in the bedroom but with a little discrete teasing elsewhere, as I said. There's no other bondage, no feminization, no humiliation. She owns my cock, plain and simple. It happens to ride on my body, but it's her toy and she gets it out when she wants to. It exists to satisfy her. That's the fantasy we both maintain, and we both really enjoy it. Our sex life is much improved, and we are happier overall. We both fully intend that that I stay locked up more or less 24/7 indefinitely. An interesting side effect has been that I really have become a bit more "submissive" and devoted to her, without really intending for that to happen-and she has become a bit more self-confident in talking about her desires. It seems to fit with the fantasy and just feels right. But there is no other fetish-like behavior, we both function in the real world on a day-to-day basis, and no one is the wiser.

That's how it works for us. Hope that helps-as you can probably tell, I love it and love to spread the word in places like this site. Good Luck!

 

Congratulations --that's a good start!

 

Start with pegging if you like.

Then if you both like it and want to try the bi sex do it after a lot of thought and discussion.

Talk and fantasy is one thing, reality is another.
That said, I can assure you if you're comfortable with it reality can be a lot hotter than fantasy. But you have to be secure and comfortable with yourselves.

Never throw it in his face and don't do it if you will consider him less of a man for it. If you can honestly say, you'll respect him more for trying bi, then your most of the way there. If not Don't do it.

 

So many excellent responses here. Best thread I've read in a while. Many commonalties and some variance just showing everybody gives it their own flavor. Ultimately, a chastity device is about control. The transfer of power is at the core and this and it is so important to recognize and discuss. If you are inclined to do everything he wants in the manner in which he suggests without regard to what you really want then it's not about you in control. It may be exciting for a while but it will either lose steam quickly or it will lead to more and more fantasy desires pushing the edge and maybe spiraling way out of your comfort zone and that's not healthy for your relationship.
Take it slowly. Have fun with it in small steps and make sure you set the pace. Challenge him to identify how this arrangement benefits you in ways you might actually enjoy. For my wife and me, the chastity cage is really just a prop that I find exciting and she has come to enjoy creating that excitement for me. The real "dynamic" that I find so untimatley satisfying is her truly taking control and being playful about it with me. This is what lasts and keeps the fires burning. Our intimacy and connection is hightened greatly and that's the real win-win.

 

LOL-I would not have predicted it, but I now seem to enjoy it when I carry out her request/orders. Plus, we're still in that gray area where its not clear is she is "asking" me to do something for her, or "telling" me to do it! But I haven't said no to anything since I've been locked up, so something in me has changed. And so far, both she and I are pleased with the change!

 

You should be very proud, @Dr MBogo. There's no higher calling than serving and submitting to your wife.

Keep it up, and we hope to hear more from you soon on how you are progressing along your chastity journey. Again, congratulations.

 

And your wife serving and submitting to her husband.