Accepting chastity as part of life

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by FLR Guy, Mar 3, 2021.

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  1. FLR Guy
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    FLR Guy New member

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    #1 FLR Guy, Mar 3, 2021
    Last edited: Mar 3, 2021
    Hello! I hope everyone in the community is doing well and taking good care of themselves today!

    I wanted to share some thoughts with y'all that I had this morning.

    So, the chastity lifestyle can feel a bit funny at first, especially if you were like most men and took your erections and orgasms for granted! I know I did!

    But who says that those things should be available to us at all times? Or dare I say, should ever be available to us?

    I’ve noticed that if I simply accept chastity as a part of my life, as my default state per se, it becomes a much more natural and fulfilling process.

    Rather than a passing fetish, it becomes something that you're really dedicated to. It replaces what used to be there in a non-negotiable way.

    The more familiar I become with staying locked, with riding the waves of arousal, letting them rise and then fall on their own, the less I consider the possibility that I could go back to my old 'vanilla' ways.

    For example, after my last long-term lockup, I allowed myself to have a 'real' erection, which I thought would feel amazing, but it turned out to be underwhelming. I realized how much I enjoyed forgetting what that felt like, and I wanted to forget even more.

    Does anyone else view chastity in this way? As a given? A natural state of being?

    I know that some of this touches on realms of fantasy, but it's definitely fun to consider how deep one could go ;)
     
  2. Dr MBogo
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    Dr MBogo You heard the lady! In you go.....

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    I think many of us here get to that point, eventually, although for most it starts as a fetish, or simply as fun sex play. I know it's become the standard at our house. We have no intention of going back. I'll be locked as long as we are both living.
     
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  3. Darlydixon
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    Darlydixon I love to be limpy

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    In the beginning it was fun play. They as my LOVE found her way it became so much more I realized I did not need the old form of Gratification I needed to finally satisfy my wife in the bedroom and help her around the house. By doing that I have found what was missing in my life
     
  4. StubHub
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    Welcome to CM.
     
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  5. gary170
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    gary170 Active member

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    It has become our lifestyle and way of life for years now my wife and I love it and cannot see anything changing as it is just who I am now
    I have a CT scan due soon and am dreading been unlocked ....go figure lol
     
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  6. FLR Guy
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    FLR Guy New member

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    Oh I know how that dread feels! Lol
    I’m sure she’ll make you lock back up after the scan, so no worries ;)
     
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  7. StubHub
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    StubHub Active member

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    Hope scan foes well with good results for you. Had prostate ultrasound Monday and good feedback. No cage and nothing said about my hairless legs.
     
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  8. gary170
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    gary170 Active member

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    Cheers for that I have one every 6 months after a melanoma issue .pleased you had a clear result :)
     
  9. Mauiperson
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    Mauiperson Member

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    I hope I get to that stage. I know if left unguarded with Mr. Happy, I would choke it like it was trying to escape.
     
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  10. Queens servant73
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    We’ve been playing with chastity cages for about a year and a half now, lots of short term lockup’s. We’ve always had sex pretty much daily, so being locked for 4-7 days was a culture shock for me lol, and now I’ve had a couple lockup’s into the couple week territory. My wonderful wife has gradually become more dominant and losing the guilty feeling of taking away my orgasm. The last 3 months I’ve averaged more than half each month locked and denied, just started a two week lock with no time out, after those two weeks I’ll be allowed erections but I don’t know when I’ll be allowed to O.
    Could be a really fun ‘21
     
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  11. Rectrix
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    Rectrix Active member

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    I always took erections, and masturbating to orgasm or getting pussy sex, for granted. In fact, I developed a bit of an erectile narcissism, so in love with my erection. But being a masturbator has -- present tense, I think being a masturbator is a little like being an addict, you always are one, even if you're in recovery -- downsides for my emotional involvement with my wife. Chastity really helped with that. And as the periods got longer, as 60-120 days locked without spurting became normal, the control over erections became normal and preferable. I still miss erections sometimes, but generally I think of them as not good for me. You know you're making progress when even in your dreams erections are not yours. I had one about a month ago where my erection was across the room, on a shelf, throbbing at me. I had another this week where three erections were were pulsing in front of me, and when I reached for the one in the middle I felt my cage. Right now I'm at Day 19 with no release, no erections, and finally starting to feel chaste again, not quite accepting it as a matter of course but I know as the days go on I'll slide back into that no erections subspace. It's why many of us, like @gary170 above feel so ambivalent or even reluctant to be unlocked, lest those memories move to the front of our mind again.
     
  12. starflyer
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    starflyer Junior Member

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    Met too
     
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  13. Miffy
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    Also the same in her house
     
  14. Darlydixon
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    Darlydixon I love to be limpy

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    It is the same at our house
     
  15. borbulls1961
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    borbulls1961 Madame Vanilla's property

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    I am new as well and locked since middle of last year in an A272 device which has a steel tube and a cage at the tip. My wife Madame Vanilla holds the keys.

    I dont get much access to the cock, and after a couple of weeks it feels like Im going around with some animal attached to me that I cant see or touch.

    Difficult to avoid the tube getting narly, so it comes off once a week for a clean, and the cock gets a wash; I use shower gel and that awakens the beast. Then I take a warm cloth and scrub and that is quite a delight. It stretches to all its might, allowing every square inch to get clean.

    I realise at that point two things: firstly how much the beast likes to stretch and hasnt done so for so long, and how sensitive it is like a new-born out of the womb. Secondly that I havent gone through all that chastity to spill in a five minute hygiene break however delightful....

    So I break off any stimulation, concentrate on drying down, putting on underwear, brushing my teeth and mouthwashing....then if I see in the rear view mirror the beast has turtled, I slip the little popsock over its head and pull it as fully as possible back up into the steel tube and then push it back into the base ring guides.

    I lock up with a great sense of achievement before giving the keys back to my love. Like Ive outsmarted that cock that had me under its influence for 50 years!

    It will pulse a little in the tube, knowing that it probably wont see the light of day for another week. Doesnt feel natural yet, but does feel good.
     
  16. Rectrix
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    This seems like very dangerous conduct and it's something I affirmatively try to avoid. You might want to ask your wife to supervise your showers. I've taken a slightly different approach, starting by leaving the back ring on -- I vow not even to look at him during shower release, I dont ever want to see my uncaged free penis! I can clean him by touch, and I set a time limit of 15 or 20 seconds to accomplish it. If I'm shaving I hold the head and shaft in my closed head so I dont see the uncovered head. I dry him quickly and and wrap him in a dry towel, to get him dry and so I dont see him, while doing other things. Then I put the cage over the head before I look to see the guide pins, so I dont ever see his head outside the bars of my cage. What you're doing seems intentionally like enjoying an erection and calling it ok since you dont continue to masturbate him. Since I think chastity is about erection control, not just orgasm denial, that would be wrong for me.
     
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  17. Thomas Gangman
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    We have been into chastity for over 5 years and built it on our bdsm style of play. Our kink has been our way of having fun and release and while not full hardcore members of either society, we live by a certain code of the lifestyle. My wife and I were both dominant by nature, but something changed during our bdsm days and it became more the norm with chastity. She loves having control over my cock and while she is bi, she does enjoy me screwing her from time to time. This does not mean I get out whenever I want, but her control does make it more interesting.

    There was a time when I was younger where I could get hard when the wind blew or she looked at me a certain way, but age and blood pressure meds have impacted that ability. Sexual stimulant are needed now, but using them with a chastity device brings back the memories of old. I may need 60mgs to perform and give her a real good time, but 20mgs while locked is like the old days.

    Lockups of 7-14 days are still common, but the teasing on those weekends without release and nice to look forward for fun. She gets as many orgasms as she desires, all the attention in the world, and I get to give them without reward. Those times she lets me out are well deserved and I have never disappointed her after release. Then there are the times where her GF is over and I get to either watch them or provide food and drinks while they have their enjoyment. Then we have extended lock periods, like Lent or Locktober where no release or unlocking is allowed. We have also experimented with a 100 day lockup without and unlocking and plan a longer session later this year. For those she has raised her game and while the teasing is amazing, she has provided incredible caged orgasms that have rocked me.

    My big screw up was last years weight gain and the doctor having a concern. To help me get back on track, my wife took away my chastity cage as punishment. I busted my ass with supervised exercise and diet, of course with her help. My cage was returned a month later and I have continued to improve my health choices. My fear of not being caged was the biggest motivator.
     
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  18. Kat9s toy
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    Good thread and good comments. For some reason, I never really thought about it this way, but chastity and orgasm denial are definitely less something we engage in but rather a way of life for me. While some part of me will always want to cum again, I have learned there are benefits to not cumming.

    After this past year, being locked and erection-free seems to be becoming a part of my way of life as well, but I hope this won't be so strict. I do still really miss not being able to get hard.
     
  19. SubSnuggler
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    SubSnuggler Owned by Fiona with the Magical Velveteen Pussy

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    I've been left unlocked for about 3 weeks lately, just with my PA jewelry in. In my case, the training has stuck. Essentially I'm on the honor system, and I've not cheated. I've even watched some of my favorite porn a couple of times. While I may fondle myself and hold myself I haven't masturbated at all.

    This morning in the shower I allowed myself to think of a favorite fantasy of mine, just to watch and feel the old boy perk up a bit, but that was all.

    My Wife intends to lock me up, in fact she's mentioned it almost daily, but our life has been somewhat of a whirlwind lately and private time where we are both awake has been rare.

    I do look forward to being locked, although the whole time I'll probably miss the freedom days I'm getting right now, lol.
     
  20. Darlydixon
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    Darlydixon I love to be limpy

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    The freedom is a weird feeling not sure I like it any more but with still no desire to stoke one off. I can hardly get hard without. Being with my LOVE
     
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  21. SubSnuggler
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    SubSnuggler Owned by Fiona with the Magical Velveteen Pussy

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    I'm with you Darly- I'm not really a fan of the honor system either. I prefer the physical lock and key as it continually reminds me of my Wife's power over me.
     
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  22. StubHub
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    You not free, just no cage. Stroke one off and find out? A woman scorned!
     
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  23. subhubandy
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    subhubandy Active member

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    This quote from Rectrix hits home with me. I was a chronic masterbator since my teens... We just got a cage last August. So far it's been used on and off, had trouble with soreness with first cage. Now using 3rd cheap metal cage but it fits much better. Queen wants me to wear it during the day and she take it off when I go to bed. That seems pretty generous so I need to get on board.
     
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  24. Rectrix
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    Rectrix Active member

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    That would be very temptacious to me, waking up with nocturnal erections after being locked all day I'd want to masturbate. I need to stay locked and stay away from erections.
     
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  25. subhubandy
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    subhubandy Active member

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    I agree but hoping if I can learn/accept being locked all day I can graduate to 24/7.
     
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