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A Year In Chastity, A Life

Discussion in 'Chastity journals and blogs' started by ChasteReader, Jan 13, 2018.

  1. ChasteReader
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    Hello everyone, so now that I finally have the hang of posting and maintaining threads on this site, this is where all of my future journal entries will be posted. For those just now checking in, my Emlalock account is currently sitting at 425 days, so I'll be locked up for over a year at least.

    Here I'll update as much as possible the 'not so comings' and goings of my time in chastity.

    Enjoy.
     
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    1/7/2018

    The first night in chastity is always a mixed bad for me. Initially, there is that rush of excitement that comes from being denied. The feeling of steel pressing against my member, the sound of a lock clicking shut that seems to echo through the halls, and the knowledge that after I close the keysafe I will be stuck in chastity until my time is up. My mouth tends to water and I feel electricity coursing through my veins, I am alive. However, as the night rolls on and I prepare to fall asleep, the reality of the situation sets in. I might look down, hoping that my cage isn't there, or check my session several times (as if that makes a difference), but mostly I feel my psyche start to breakdown and be molded into a chastity slut.

    I am one of the many people who, at this point, don't feel at home unless I am caged. Since I turned twenty, eleven years ago, I can count the number of full releases I've had on one hand. For over a decade, at least one person at sometime has owned my orgasms, and while it was very difficult at first, I wouldn't have it any other way. Right now I do not have a keyholder, hence the keysafe. However, I can think of three people that I have served that used chastity as their primary source of domination. In all of my other relationships chastity played a role, but now as key as the following ones.

    The one that sticks out the most is the Mistress I served who specialized in puppy play. Before I met her, I never considered having my belly rubbed as a reward. Despite how new I was to this kink, I stayed with her for six years, and it was easily the best experience I've had to date. During those six years my name was Waggy, as I would always wag my tail excitedly whenever I saw my Mistress. With paws raised I would greet her at the door, she would look down, smile and scratch me behind my ear and say 'good boy,' perhaps my favorite phrase of all. There were very few releases while I was under her. By the end of my service I was being milked only once every six months. Naturally, as a dog, she liked to take me out on walks and parade me around town. As someone who doesn't enjoy humiliation very much I must say it was very embarrassing, but then again, I suppose that was one of the points. Mistress also liked to keep me locked because she found it funny how much her penis had shrunk. When I first entered her service, I was a respectable seven inches soft, and about eight inches hard. According to her, one of the sexiest things is a submissive large penis, because there is so much you can do with it. However, after my six years with her were up I had shrunk to a mere one and a half inches soft, and just a little over two inches hard.

    The one Master which I served took me in about five months after I retired from puppy play. The fact that I could go extended periods of time without release was disappointing to him, as Master wanted me to beg and be desperate as often as I could be. Consequently, there were more teasing sessions in this D/S relationship than any other in my life. The best way I can describe it is that when I entered his service I could go four months without starting to feel the unscratched itch that chastity brings. Under him, and from the frequent teasing sessions, that number decreased down to about six weeks. Of all the times I have been locked in chastity, the two years I was with him were the most brutal.

    Now that the Introduction is out of the way, I want to get back to the present. As I said, yesterday I locked myself back up in chastity. In all, I was woken up four times by erections. Typically whenever I am unlocked I do not have erotic dreams or an evening erection. However, the mind and body wants what it cannot have, so every few hours the strain against the steel cage woke me and caused me to stay awake for a few hours. At one point during the night I needed to use the bathroom, and I feel this is the part of chastity that hammers home the situation the most. What emasculates a man more than anything. I'm sure most people who are reading this know that it is easier to pee sitting down, and have the urine drip out slowly as you sit there contemplating your new position.

    'Am I still a man?'

    'This is so embarrassing.'

    If you're like me, and are a sissy as well, then chances are that sitting down is already the natural position for you. Still, the first few times I had to do this I felt emasculated, if there was anything left to emasculate that is.

    So now it's the following morning, hopefully I have more to write about in my next entry.

    Until then, stay locked, stay submissive, and try to be happy.
     
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    1/8/18

    Last night was a little rough for me. I had three dreams, two of which were erotic in nature. Consequently, my member tried its hardest to stretch and break free, but was denied this luxury. The first of these dreams was minimalistic. It was just me sitting in a wooden chair with my arms and legs restrained, the only light in the room was a spotlight which shone down brightly against my sensitive eyes. Through the darkness, I heard the clicking of heels, and the closing of a door. It slowly creaked, and there was an obvious drop in the amount of air once it closed. It sounded as if there was no other furniture in the room, as the clicking echoed everywhere. From behind, I felt the soft touch of a woman scratch my beard and wrap a blindfold around my eyes. She cooed into my ears ‘you don’t get to see me yet.’

    It was at this point that my heart began racing. Her fingertips lightly caressed my body, occasionally she would stop to place both palms on me, it seemed like she was giving me a full inspection. Next, she began to unbuckle my pants. She unzipped them agonizingly slow, and it was during this long tease that I came to a startling realization. I was still locked. Before long, my panties were down around my ankles, and she was laughing softly at my locked member. After exhaling on it, allowing for a rush of warm air to drive it insane, she said ‘well, you can still please me.’

    I felt my body being lowered backwards until I was on my back. She sat on my face wither her vagina pressed against my mouth and ordered me to give her orgasms until she was satisfied.

    I woke up to the feeling of my cage being challenged. Small pockets were being formed against my skin, I recited the lyrics to some of my favorite songs to take my mind off the stress, and after fifteen minutes or so I fell back asleep. There were several times throughout the night that I woke up. This being due to how early I fell asleep. As someone who suffers from Insomnia, anytime I can sleep is welcomed with open arms. However, after waking at 4:00 am I decided to call it quits and stayed up for good. A few hours after staying up I took my shower, and it was not something I was looking forward to. Hygiene in the private area is of course paramount, and shaving is rather easy. However, washing and drying the member can be tiresome at times. It took several cue tips and help from a hairdryer to finally finish the job.

    As someone who has undergone weight loss over the course of that past few years, and has taken on the even harder challenge of keeping the weight off, one of my daily rituals is visiting the gym. My workout consists of sixty-five minutes of cardio, and then one hundred reps of weights. The main concern that I have at the gym is hiding the bulge that accompanies a chastity cage. I have found that a pair of loose panties, a pair of loose shorts and untied sweatpants tend to do the trick. On occasion I will include an oversized hoodie that I own that drapes over my private area.

    Today’s journey went off without a hitch. I managed to change in the locker room without my bra or panties being noticed, and my cage went was not seen either. I enjoy light humiliation, but I also enjoy going to this gym more, and I do not want to risk my membership.

    When I arrived home, I surfed the web for a few hours. My primary source of entertainment comes from well-produced Youtube videos, so that made up the crux of it.

    I watched the first NFL Wild Card game of the day and watched as my bracket was further busted.

    Overall the rest of my day was bland, the only other highlight was that I sat down to watch the film, ‘Poetry,’ (2011).

    Until next time.

    Stay locked, stay submissive, and try to be happy.
     
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    1/9/18

    Sorry about not posting yesterday, I kinda got hung up on some more important things. However, despite whatever day-to-day troubles I may be having, the small annoyances of chastity still remain. For example, I had a really bad itch in my private area, and there was nothing I could do about it. All I could do was sit and try my best not to think about it, but the longer it dragged on, the more aware of my situation I became, and the more aroused I became, consequently, more frustrated. It's a vicious cycle. Not always a fair cycle. Certainty one that I wouldn't want to break from.

    Also, my daily time at the gym was cut a little short, though there was an embarrassing incident in the locker room. Since my sweat pants were rather loose, they fell to the ground when I bent over to start untying my shoes. There, in front of at least twenty or so men (half of them realized), were my pretty green panties. One of my favorite pairs actually. I love them because of the little heart shape bow right at the top of the front of the fabric. The guy next to me grinned, didn't say a word, but seemed to really enjoy seeing me in that situation. Luckily I managed to pull my pants up shortly thereafter and spent the next thirty minutes on the floor, paranoid.

    Every time someone looked at me through the corner of their eyes, I though 'do they know?'

    Today was also my third day in lock down, and while I clean that area and my cage as best as I can during my daily showers, every three days I take extra time to clean it. What I do is take a bar of soap and rub it against my hands until both are nice and foamy. Once my skin is caked in suds, I start to clean my testicles first, making sure that I lift up them up and getting the area pressed against the ring. My inner thigh area is always one part of my body that I always look to keep clean as well while locked, in this case I use the entire bar of soap. When it comes to cleaning the bars of the cage, and the inside portion, I used cue tips for a finer and more delicate cleaning. Overall, it took an extra ten minutes to get the cage cleaned to my satisfaction. I dried off using a hair dryer.

    I spent the majority of the night baking and writing tasks online.

    Tomorrow, I'm planning on going to see 'I, Tonya.' So, there's that.

    Until next time friends.

    Stay locked, stay submissive and try to be happy.
     
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    1/11/18

    What the holy Hell? I don't check my Emlalock account for a few days and three weeks have already been added on! Maybe I set the requirement link amount too high, because there have been 12 people to vote for it, and all 12 have added a week. At this point, the number of days I have left seems so large that I have a 'well, what's a few more weeks going to matter' mentality to it. My hope is that the final eight people just vote right away, that way I can really focus in on a date where I could potentially be unlocked.

    So this was my fourth full day in chastity, and after a long slog of doctors appointments yesterday, I finally got back into the swing of things with work and seminars.

    Given how upset I have been recently though, I decided to really dress myself up today, make myself look as pretty as possible. Underneath my work clothes, jeans and a polo, were a matching pair of bra and panties that looked stunning. Also, I pulled on some black knee high stockings and just walked around my apartment like that for a little bit, just soaking in all the freedom I had in that moment.

    Work went by well, it was an uneventful day. Perhaps the most exciting thing that happened was when I mounted a 135 point comeback in 'Words With Friends.' After playing the winning word, 'XU,' for ten points I sent the 'Do You Believe In Miracles' radio clip to the guy I was playing.

    My time after work was a little scattered. At first, I needed to swing by a local university. The last time I had visited the campus Student ID cards were required to enter all the buildings, except for Admin and the food court, but there were no metal detectors. Well, fast forward several years later and as I walk to the front door I am greeted by a disinterested security guard in his mid-twenties, and two sets of metal detectors. I told myself to remain calm and that nothing bad would happen. I recited one of my favorite Meat Loaf lyrics to calm me down:

    'Say a prayer to all the gods, some are near and some are far, say a prayer to all the gods, to make us braver than we are.'

    As I walked through the metal detectors, my worst fear happened. They went off. The guard took one look at me and could tell that I knew what set it off. I tried to play it off by saying that there was some jewelry I just had installed in my private area. However, the guard assured me that the detector would not sound for piercings. It was then that he called for his manager and started waving others the few others who were behind me through. After what seemed like an eternity, the manager showed up and was briefed on the situation. I decided to be honest with them, because at this point my worst fear was a strip search, so honesty might be the best course of action. Anyway, I explained that I was currently locked in a chastity cage, the cage itself is made of stainless steel, while the lock is regular old metal, which is what set the alarm off. The guard who first pulled me aside was horrified at this revelation 'damn...' he said with his eyes widening, his boss gave him a sharp look for breaking from their professionalism. To my amazement, the manager smiled and said 'I believe you, I can tell you're telling the truth. Besides, chastity devices are things we've seen plenty of before.'

    She told me to exit the campus the same way I came in, and they would just wave me through.

    Once I returned home I was very tired and tried my best to fall asleep. However, as this was the first time my body had really gotten the chance to relax, my member was also trying to stretch and break free.

    'God fucking damnit.' I said as I adjusted my body over and over again, trying to distract myself from the throbbing and undeniable urge to touch myself

    It became such a problem that I buried my face into my hands and started doing some breathing exorcises. Despite this lowering my heart rate and relaxing me overall, it seemed to only make the tip of my member all the more sensitive and eager.

    Eventually I was able to fall asleep, and while I had hoped the sweet release of sleep would give me a reprieve from the frustration, my brain felt like taunting me. In my dream, I woke up to find myself lying flat on a concrete surface with a pillow underneath my head, and a wooden chair above my chest. There was a woman looking down at me, smiling. She didn't say anything, but dirtied her feet on the ground and then shoved them in my face. I licked them clean and smelled them for maybe an hour. When I finally did wake up, my mouth was dry and I couldn't get the smell of rotten eggs out of my nose.

    Oh, I mentioned in my previous post about going to see 'I, Tonya.' It was very good, though the 30 for 30 special, 'the Price of Gold' does a better job of telling the story, I believe.

    Until next time friends.

    Stay locked, stay submissive, and try to be happy.
     
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    1/12/18

    The weather has terrible today. First, it rained at a steady temperature of 30 *F, then after a few hours the temperature plummeted and all that water froze. I was in the gym during the temperature drop, so walking outside and being pelted with freezing rain was a bit of a shock. Moreover, there was a fine layer of ice on all of my windows, and my car door was stuck. I sat in the parking lot for at least thirty minutes while the ice melted. Then came the snow. I was supposed to go to a comedy club tonight, but after the conditions worsened I threw up my hands and said 'fuck it.' I've got laundry that needs done anyway.

    Needless to say, I stayed in for most of the day. True I needed some groceries, but that only took less than an hour.

    My frustration level today was fairly low. There is that old saying, the three day rule. If you can make it past three days, you'll be fine. Well, I'm past that mark now and I am getting used to a routine that did not include masturbation. There are still dead spots in the day though. For instance, today I finished reading Anne Rices' newest book, and afterwards I had nothing of interest to do. Previously, I would have likely touched myself and edged to my hearts content. However, now that, that is not an option I started working on a puzzle. Spoilers, I'm fucking terrible at them.

    Around noon I did lay down for a nap. During my time in the Other World, I saw myself walking through a dense forest of which there was no escape. Rain fell from the ever darkening sky, yet evaporated before touching the ground. The air was tense, flammable, just like gasoline as it seeped into my pores and put me on edge. Into the forest I went, I did not come out before finally waking two hours later.

    Later in the day I received a call from one of my girlfriends (not in polygamy terms, I just have several girls that are close friends). She is aware of my current situation and know about one of my fetishes, feet.

    'Yeah, I'm just here rubbing lotion all over my soft feet. I painted my nails pink earlier.' She said carelessly, knowing full well the impact of her words, she let them sit for a moment, as if waiting for the grenade to explode and my frustration to boil over 'I'm thinking of getting a pedicure pretty soon, wanna come? We need to get your nails done too.'

    'I'd love to go get my nails done, does your house still have heat?' I countered, shifting the conversation as quickly as I could

    Through the telephone I could almost see her smiling, 'yes, it does.'

    I spent a few minutes completing the newest writing tasks on a website I frequent.

    With the remaining time left in the day I put in the film 'Cecil B. Demented,' a film that is just weird enough to turn most people off, but if you understand just half of the references in the film it'll be an all-time favorite for years to come. While the celluloid ran I started my first load of laundry and sat transfixed by the images on screen. For the briefest of moments, nothing else mattered.

    'Demented forever, demented for life.' The characters recited as they branded their skin with the film studios logo

    Carrying up the last load of laundry, I glanced out into the darkness of the night. The trees in the distance stood still, covered in snow. The Wind said goodnight, I nodded in return.

    Until next time friends.

    Stay locked, stay submissive and try to be happy.
     

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