A reluctant Key Holder

Discussion in 'Introductions' started by SaintMic, Apr 17, 2019.

  1. SaintMic
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    SaintMic Locked up switch

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    Hi! I'm sure lots of people have a similar origin story - long term interest etc, so I'll skip some of it.

    After knowing what I wanted - a D/s lifestyle - for several years, I finally got my wife to sign up for a few weeks of submission last year. I loved it and she enjoyed herself too, we both learned a lot about each other and were different at the end. Unfortunately, everything was different at the end, as we got a little carried away during our play.

    9 months later, our second son was born (we'll probably never tell him the background of his conception!)

    Since that, in late December 2018, our sex life has obviously died. I have mentioned once or twice how much I loved "owning" her, but the vacant look back let me know all I needed - she wouldn't be calling me Sir again any time soon.

    I'm a pretty generous man in bed and always got as much enjoyment from her pleasure as my own, so I thought maybe it was time to try from a different approach. Unbeknownst to her, I ordered myself a cock cage from LoveHoney, which arrived on Friday last week. My idea was that for her to really understand why I enjoyed being in charge, I needed to let her have a time with the reigns.

    I tried to put it on a few times, but it took several attempts before I realised I would just have to man up and really push - then, on Saturday morning, mission accomplished.

    Oddly, I was quite nervous about telling her my intentions, but on Saturday evening I showed her and explained my idea:

    I am booked in for a vasectomy on 13th May. I intended to lock myself up for the month, allowing Her to control the keys and take the lead. i wanted to serve Her in every way, i wanted Her to abuse me or ignore me as She saw fit, but whatever She decided was right for me, i would gladly go along with.

    She told me to take it off.

    i didn't. i kept it on and had the most painful night's "sleep" i can ever remember, until at 4 am i was forced to wake Her and ask for the Key.

    The next day, i tried again. She was still not sold on the idea (even less so after i woke Her up) but seemed slightly more intrigued. On Sunday, i wore it all day and instantly loved the sensation. i took it off before bed as i was quite sore from the chaffing, but i didn't touch myself.

    It was Locked on Monday morning and has remained in place since. i love the feeling of it being on, i love the loss of control. i have made my Wife promise not to give me the Key - something She keeps offering me, so i am having to fight temptation on my own at this point.

    Although early days, i can already feel myself changing. i have not cum since just before trying to put it on the first time on Saturday, which is a very long time for me - i would usually have masturbated 3 or 4 times in the last 5 days, hopefully even had sex.

    i do not WANT to be released. i want to stay locked up and serve my Wife. i have ordered a combination safe for delivery tomorrow, into which i will request the Key is placed then locked with ChastiKey so i can no longer just go and get it from my Wife's draw if i lose motivation.

    my hope is that my Wife will become more enthusiastic as time goes on and make the most of the month where i am putty in Her hands, so much so that She's sad i'm taking it off... and keen for me to put it on again once i have healed. But whatever happens, i plan to see it through until the weekend before 13th May. It'll be the longest i've gone without a release since i first found out how to masturbate, which is a good 20-25 years ago now.
     
  2. pamelamask
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    pamelamask Rubber Doll

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    If you play your cards right, your wife will start to appreciate having a chastity slave to help with the new baby. I hope you can make it until May 13th, that's a long time to go in any chastity device, and you are very new to this.
     
  3. tecolote
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    tecolote Active member

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    Re-read your story.

    Can you find the problem?

    What stood out for me is that you offered to let your wife call the shots, and then immediately refused her first request. It's almost always a mistake to introduce the concept by presenting yourself already in the cage. Some (most) women will take some time to get used to the idea, and showing up wearing Bane's mask over your junk is going to be a turn off for them.

    So start over.

    Explain to your wife that you wanted to give her the experience so that she could understand why you like being a dom, then ask her to read this....

    http://brassiered.com/tamingthecagedbeast/introduction.html

    It helped introduce my mostly vanilla wife to the concept. It could be that your wife can't/won't be a dom. Don't try to push her too hard. Ask her if she will try it out for you. And try to follow her lead. I know.... Sometimes you have to force the issue, but it's always going to be better if you can avoid it.
     
    Kate Donald and Giveitup like this.
  4. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Active member

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    You seem determined that this story will end with what you want.

    Is that a submissive's position?

    I wish you both good luck.
     
  5. cagedcd
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    cagedcd Active member

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    Welcome and good luck
     
  6. locked_top
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    locked_top Caged tiger

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    No, you are still trying to run the show. Sorry.
     
  7. coffee2sugars
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    coffee2sugars Member

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    You do seem to be making a lot of the rules about this. For example you have decided on the lockup period and set your own release date. You have decided to buy a key safe and are deciding that it should never come off ect ect.

    You know what though? That is OK.

    We all have a starting point and we are all very keen on our first go at this so here is my advice.

    If you really want to give up control, then do just that. Listen to her and ask her how she would like things to play out.

    You can suggest things like a key safe but let her make the final decision.

    I think what I am really trying to say though is don't let your excitement get the better of you and cheat you out of this wonderful experience with your wife.
    Go slow and make it an enjoyable lifestyle you both create together rather than one she feels dragged into and that you created alone.
     
  8. coffee2sugars
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    coffee2sugars Member

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    Also since you have enjoyed domination in the past I am sure you will be aware of sub drop? If not I suggest researching the topic as personally I have found this to be harsh after being locked for any length of time.
     
  9. SaintMic
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    SaintMic Locked up switch

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    Hi everyone.

    i appreciate all your replies and accept the reoccurring theme in the messaging.

    It sounds like i am leading it all despite claiming to want to be the sub - in theory that is true, but there are two reasons.

    1. my Wife is naturally extremely negative and pessimistic, to the point that Her default response to any suggestion from anyone is either no or a list of the reasons why She thinks it's a bad idea. We have both learned together that if we ever want to try new things, i need to essentially set it up and then once She has seen that either it works or could be fun - including things as mundane as taking the kids to the beach for the day and having an ice cream - She will either get on board with it or continue to reject it. As such, i have sort of taken the lead to get things going as i know that if She is going to get any enjoyment from the process, it will be as a result of either having everything on hand to take over, or being able to make changes to an existing system.

    2. there was a chance that She would have no interest in it at all, but i wanted to do it not only for Her but for myself, too. i want to challenge myself and deny myself in ways i am not used to, to get a better understanding of what i can take, if that makes sense?

    However, i am pleased to report that as of last night, my Key holder is becoming increasingly excited with the idea. Three nights of back and foot rubs without needing to do anything in return, and a glint in Her eye when i asked if She would be unlocking me any time soon.. She's starting to take control of things now and they will move more on to Her terms, which thrills me beyond words.

    Plus if nothing else, at the end of all this i'll know i am capable of going more than 48 hours without touching myself (six days and counting) - and i'll have a nice new safe to keep things secure from two toddlers!

    So, i genuinely thank you all for your comments and can appreciate where you're coming from, but knowing my Wife as i do i am 100% certain that She will enjoy this process infinitely more by having a sort of road map to either work from or pick apart and rebuild at her discretion :)
     
    tecolote and coffee2sugars like this.
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