A Quick One - Forever on Edge

Discussion in 'Journals and blogs' started by lauren1fem, Dec 16, 2009.

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  1. lauren1fem
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    lauren1fem Gurl

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    To quote a Who song I've entitled this new thread A Quick One.​

    I'm beginning this new thread to post about my experience during the next few days in December 2009. So my wife is away and that let's my inner Lauren come out in raging style.

    I've locked myself in Chastity and will attempt to maintain a sexual Edge for as much time as is possible. I'm hoping to keep myself peaking in a sexual flood of locked up bridled passion. I don't even have a key to unlock myself. I have no way of releasing and am completely at the mercy of my inner girl.

    Lauren is so excited right now. She tried on a new outfit - a present to herself - and it's got her so deliciously pent up in sexual need and desire I have to wonder what state we will be in when I end this experiment in a few days when my key returns to my possession.

    Wish me and my inner gurl Lauren lots of luck and love to get through this experiment.
     
  2. Rachel
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    Rachel Owned by Mistress Michelle

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    When the cats away lauren can play.

    Good luck to you sweety.

    rachel
     
  3. lauren1fem
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    lauren1fem Gurl

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    Thank you dear... and play she will.
     
  4. Respectful
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    Respectful Chaste by choice

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    Do you need Control Gurls for this experiment Lauren?

    Will our credits count towards Miss D's Gurl Degrees? Just kidding Lauren, Miss D still hasn't opened her Gender University yet due to funding issues, but we can still practice on our own underfunded, mind intensive, subjective cyber experiments, right?

    Let us other part time gurls know if you need control subjects Lauren! We respect your openness to gender bended chastity experiences in the interests of science!

    Respectfully,
    cindy :cat:
     
  5. Goddess Jen
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    Goddess Jen Expert in tease and denial

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    The best of luck to you, my dear!!! Can't wait to hear all about your adventures over the next few days. Let the games begin!!
     
  6. lauren1fem
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    lauren1fem Gurl

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    Emotions

    Oh dear,
    I love the comments! I'm feeling awash in emotion. I've changed clothes several times today and each time I feel more feminine and fresh than before,. Lauren is trying to capture a moment where we/she/I can express the warm feelings of freedom and relief at what I'm doing through a photo. It's just so freeing to be myself. I think that I'm learning more about the girl inside. I think it is my true essence and I'm uncovering something that was always there. Gosh did it take 40 some odd years for her to finally come out?

    I just wish so hard that this was how I could be all the time. I know I could do it, but it would be completely wrong for all the people around me. *sad* But still even to be completely in lust for my girl, my Lauren to come out and play... It's wonderful to feel her really in my presence. Wow... I just read that. Is that me or her? (I hope this isn't freaking you out me talking so openly - gurl to girl, but it's just how I feel.)

    More to come I'm sure.

    Love you guys!
     
  7. TGNadine
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    TGNadine Naughty teasing Tgirl

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    Giggle, sounds delicish!
     
  8. Missy Tanya
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    Missy Tanya Senior Member

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    You silly gurl you!! Sounds like you found your piece of heaven, if only for a short time. So don't waste anytime and do keep use updated. And be sure an take many pictures for your memorizes and to share a few with us here.

    I know I cherish the moments I get dressed pretty and am growing to hate when the time comes to put them away again. Darn real life, how come the time flies soo fast while dressing up?

    Missy Tanya
     
  9. Respectful
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    Respectful Chaste by choice

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    Lauren, and your "inner man"...

    I have great respect for someone who can absorb both the inner man and the inner woman within the same person without fully succumbing to either role.

    You are somewhat of a role model for me in that regard, in that you can be fully either as well as fully both.. if that makes any sence.

    You are a gender switcher of the geatest caliber Lauren. I aplaud that about you.

    cindy :anim_19: :cat:
     
  10. lauren1fem
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    lauren1fem Gurl

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    Sorting things out

    Right now it seems that I am channeling my sexual energy through my emotions (happy). I'm loving what I am feeling, but am physically tiring of trying to be on edge all the time. I guess it's getting late too.

    I have completely forgotten about blue balls and the effect it has on us guys. That's a bummer, but I also am starting to love tucking my neutered self down and getting off from that. The vision of a tucked & pantied me in the mirror is quite a site to behold.

    Also I've started coming up with a list of words that describe my predicament. You'll get the idea:
    • denied
    • forbidden
    • erased
    • halted
    • bridled
    • prevented
    • neutered
    • feminine

    I'm getting all excited thinking of all these words. The whole chastity concept is taking on a new meaning for me and it's so delicious this rush of feelings I'm getting from that - seeing my self locked up completely wipes out my feelings of masculinity in a profound way.

    more tomorrow... Lauren needs to snuggle and hold herself and go deeper into her feelings.
     
  11. dollyanne
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    dollyanne Sissy who loves pink frilly things!

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    This is sooo exciting, lauren! You sound so close to slut delirium already if you're not already there! Trying on the dress must have felt divine!

    You are much braver than dolly about mailing the keys. We have lost so many things through the mail that dolly doesn't trust it! Not to worry, though, dolly is sure they will show up. But will they be late, or perhaps even early to tempt lauren? Only time will tell.:interrogation:

    Meanwhile, lauren is caught in her own sissy gurlie trap and there is no escape and no choice but to go deeper into slut delirium! But that feeling of helpless total femininity is what lauren's inner gurlie wants and needs and will soon have! Thanks for taking us with you on your journey, lauren!

    xoxoxo

    pantysexual dollyanne
     
  12. male_thing
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    male_thing Junior Member

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    Lauren's first photo album is very nice. You have some wonderful shots in there! I'm sure others appreciate your photo efforts.
     
  13. Rachel
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    Rachel Owned by Mistress Michelle

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    Yes Lauren i remember those days and feelings. It took me 45 years to let Rachel out even though i knew she was in there from about the age of 13 or so.

    Lauren i feel for you as these are the same feelings i have. Vanilla life sucks at times with spouses, parents, siblings, kids and that's not to mention a job. So my dear enjoy your little slice of Haven as long as you can.

    i am not sure if what you are describing here is the horny sexual feeling you get from dressing or not. If it is when that goes away and it will, well at least it did for me, and you still want to dress and be pretty that is when you will realize that there really are two of you in there. Sometimes i tire of all the shaving, plucking and primping as being a woman for a male is a high maintenance thing but even with all that i can no longer suppress Rachel.

    i just feel better when i can be Rachel and act as my true self. All the feelings and emotions you can express as a woman that according to society you have to suppress as a male can be let out. It is like a great flood that started one day with just a trickle. I stuck my finger in the hole in the dike trying to prevent the flood but the hole only got bigger over the years. Then one day the dam broke and Rachel came pouring out and now i can't get her back in the dam, not that i want to. Like you i wish she could be around more. She is a part of me and even though she will never meet most of my family that is their lose not Rachel's.

    My wife knows all about Rachel but is not willing to accept her on a full time or most of the time basis. i can't blame her for that she married randy not Rachel. That is why i tell everyone i can whenever i can be honest with yourself and make sure your s/o really knows ALL about you before you commit to a lifelong relationship.

    Rachel
     
  14. Miss D
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    Miss D Expert In Femming

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    I think lauren is finding out exactly why chastity is so effective for a gurl - it does bring out the gurly side in a quite pronounced fashion. I am surprised that lauren is slipping into her gurly side so quickly and completely though. Maybe it's like the deluge that follows a long, hot, dry spell. Gurly relief!

    Good gurl lauren!
     
  15. lauren1fem
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    lauren1fem Gurl

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    Quick note this morning: Sleeping didn't go real well as can be expected. One can't just turn off all those pent up feelings and declare that it is now time for bed and sleeping shall commence AND PLUS I had a visit from Robert - my vibrating dildo. He penetrated me again and again which I must confess felt wonderful. Mostly I enjoyed keeping him inside me and and holding him there. I was gushing pre-cum out of me and afterwards actually felt a bit parched.

    Later I cuddled with myself and missed the touch of another. I so wanted to feel a strong hand holding me, cupping my ass, and caressing my hips and thighs. I held myself in this way - a man's hands on a girl's frame. I felt complete in a way that's hard to describe and yet I was wanting so much more in the way of an orgasm. Lauren can't wait for her keys to arrive soon as that will grant her a big O.

    Here's my "under" outfit that I'll wear today in stealth gurl mode under my boy clothes. Pastel Pink hi-cut panties encasing my chastity CB3k. I hate this picture - it makes me look fat and bloated, but I weighed myself and I'm at a low for the decade, go figure! Being a girl is hard; I agree completely with my lovely friend Rachel.

    Pink Pastel French-cut Panties.jpg

    Have a great day!
     
  16. lauren1fem
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    lauren1fem Gurl

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    News flash!
    Lauren's key arrived. Her postal service is just too efficient. Now the question is WHEN will Lauren use her key and release herself from chastity? Maybe she'll torture herself and not even unlock her clitty at all until it's too late. Torture does sound like a lot of fun.

    Well gurls, Lauren will give a poll and let you decide her fate... GO ahead and click to vote.
    http://www.chastitymansion.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3085

    Hugs and kisses,
    -Lauren
     
  17. lauren1fem
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    lauren1fem Gurl

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    Lauren loves it when Miss D is pleased. Now even if Lauren is locked in chastity she can still find parts of her that respond to touch and it makes her feel that much more excited at how she feels when her inner girl is in control.

    Her poor boy bits are gonna just fall off if she keeps him under lock and key for much longer.
     
  18. lauren1fem
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    lauren1fem Gurl

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    It hit me this morning - I am starting to find that state of slut delirium. Desperation, desire, everything is dialed up a notch. Lauren wants!

    This week life on the outside is starting to wear me down. Lots to do, but I want to be focused on edging and in the 'zone of need' that makes me so horny. I've been watching the poll numbers come in along with a lot of SAGE advise. The early numbers indicate Lauren should hang on to her chaste state. Dolly even suggests that I not allow myself an orgasm until I am with my wife. *stammer stammer* Lauren understands and will comply to the best of her ability once all the pollsters have voted Lauren's fate.

    So in my life right now I've got all this reality stuff to deal with (life's hassles) AND you guys are denying me a little slice of heaven until my wife returns. The combination of the two is making me so yearn for a release.

    Last night Lauren watched a lot of porn and underwent a lot of anal play too. She had to mirror the action on screen in an approximation in her own bed - short of any orgasm of course. That has left her little rosebud somewhat tuckered.

    Well Lauren has to switch and go to work now. Thank you all for voting and your well-considered comments that follow!

    Love,
    Lauren
     
  19. Rachel
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    Rachel Owned by Mistress Michelle

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    Hang in there gurl. Your enjoyment will be 10 fold if you share it with your wife.

    rachel
     
  20. lauren1fem
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    lauren1fem Gurl

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    Late update: Sorry for the late closing to this thread...
    Lauren has some news to share. She remained chaste though unlocked until Monday morning when she pounced on her wife for a sex romp. During the prior few days Lauren felt odd and out of sorts. She had been locked up and feeling so helpless and submissive. She felt that it was out of her gurlish character to take the lead and initiate anything with her wife. This left her feeling desperate and confused, but not exactly horny - more confused than anything.

    During the sex Lauren really felt like she wasn't enjoying it. It was all for her wife who WAS enjoying it. Lauren even considered that she could have not orgasmed through the encounter, but that would have been strange to explain to her wife so for that reason (mostly) she came after her wife was satisfied. As her O built Lauren was overcome with boy feelings and thrust crazily into his wife. Cured I guess - Lauren was lost to the physical man this gurl inhabits. *sad I know*

    Poor Lauren was so into being a girl and then sex had to get in the way and end her episode of edging. I guess that's the way things ended here.
     
  21. TGNadine
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    TGNadine Naughty teasing Tgirl

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    Sound like you had fun. How about a little break till after christmas and then you can start again. I have. It's been 4 days again so far, and I have much more to go. I have to wait as close to New Years as I can as the first week of New years will be a time of waiting. Let's support each other.
     
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