A New Chapter Unfolds

Discussion in 'Journals and blogs' started by MsPamela, May 5, 2022.

Random Thread
  1. MsPamela
    Offline

    MsPamela Long term member

    Joined:
    Mar 25, 2020
    Messages:
    346
    Likes Received:
    2,708
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Female
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    US
    Local Time:
    4:04 PM
    Yes, quite memorable. I'm sure there will be others, but paradoxically I wouldn't want them too often because then they would not be as special.
     
  2. Chaz69
    Offline

    Chaz69 Long term member

    Joined:
    Dec 11, 2021
    Messages:
    1,654
    Likes Received:
    1,803
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    IT
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Midwest, USA
    Local Time:
    4:04 PM
    Wow @MsPamela, that story was truly amazing, I'm sure I wasn't alone getting excited just reading it. Well done. I do believe you've got this thing down!
     
  3. bitslinger
    Offline

    bitslinger Active member

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2015
    Messages:
    68
    Likes Received:
    78
    Trophy Points:
    18
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Jack of all trades, master of none.
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Southwestern United States
    Local Time:
    3:04 PM
    As someone who has a difficult time coming up with birthday gifts, a little bit of direction goes a long ways :) Your husband really stepped up to the plate! Nicely done and, as always, very enjoyable to read.
     
  4. MsPamela
    Offline

    MsPamela Long term member

    Joined:
    Mar 25, 2020
    Messages:
    346
    Likes Received:
    2,708
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Female
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    US
    Local Time:
    4:04 PM
    Actually, hubby is great at gifts, and always has been. I'm the one that needs some direction.
     
    gentleman zig likes this.
  5. MsPamela
    Offline

    MsPamela Long term member

    Joined:
    Mar 25, 2020
    Messages:
    346
    Likes Received:
    2,708
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Female
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    US
    Local Time:
    4:04 PM
    I miss having hubby inside me. Back when I allowed hubby weekly orgasms, it wasn't a problem. When we were only a few days into teasing I knew I could ride hubby for a little while without him having an "accident". In fact, it was one of my favorite ways to tease him. It was also one of my favorite ways to finally let him have an orgasm. But now that I'm denying hubby for a significantly longer stretch of time, I need an alternative.

    I decided it was time for hubby to try the harness. I had bought a new dildo, one that was much more realistic than what I use on hubby. It took hubby a while to get everything adjusted, and it looked really strange for him to have a second "cock" sitting above his locked one. But I was still anxious to see how it would feel.

    The first thing we tried was missionary position. It was very awkward at first, with a lot of fumbling and trying to get our bodies lined up right. But eventually he was thrusting inside me, and it felt ok. Not great, but good enough. In retrospect I'm not sure why I wanted to try that position first. It's not one of our favorites for the real thing, so I didn't know what I really expected with a dildo.

    We switched to me on top, which wasn't the least bit awkward. For me, sliding down on a fake cock was pretty much the same as sliding down on hubby's real one. I was positioned perhaps a little further up his body, and it moved around a little differently, but overall it felt easy and natural. Plus, "cowgirl" is one of my favorite positions. I like the control I have over speed, depth, and angle. I also like how easy it is to add fingers or vibrator for a little extra stimulation. All of this worked just was well with the dildo.

    However, something big was missing: hubby. Yes, he was right there underneath me. He even seemed to be enjoying the experience. But overall it felt like he was a prop or spectator rather than a participant. I definitely liked how it felt, and with a little help from a vibrator I could have easily reached orgasm. But it wasn't really scratching the right itch so we tried another position.

    I got on my hands and knees, with hubby behind me. I'm probably going to have to turn in my "domme card" for saying this, but I love being taken from behind. It just feels so raw and primal. Hubby can penetrate a little deeper, and the angle is oh so good. I'm happy to say this worked every bit as well with the dildo. Hubby grabbed my hips, thrust as deep as he could, and it felt amazing. I let loose, moaning with abandon. The addition of a vibrator pushed me over the edge much sooner than I expected and I screamed with pleasure. I've mentioned before that I'm not exactly quiet in bed, but this was loud, even for me.

    Afterwards, hubby was a little ftigued (I guess we're out of practice). And very, very frustrated. I helped him shed the harness, then I unlocked his cage and we cuddled. I didn't really have the presence of mind to do anything more. So we just cuddled and kissed, my hand resting on his hard cock the entire time. From time to time he thrust against my hand, just a little movement here and there. Just enough to keep himself on the edge, but never so much as to break the spell. I thanked him for making me feel so incredible and promised him a proper reward another time.

    Hubby and I talked a little about what we just tried. He was excited about the missionary position at first, but agreed it wasn't a keeper. He loved our second position, which sort of surprised me. I told him it felt like he was more of a spectator, and he said yes, but the show was fantastic. He then described it from his point of view, my breasts swaying with each movement and the chastity key dangling in between. As he described the look on my face and the little moans I had made, he grew even more excited, thrusting against my hand with newfound urgency. He also said it had been uniquely frustrating to have an experience so close to the real thing while remaining locked. Our third position was even more frustrating because it reminded him so much of the times I let him do whatever he wants, but without even being able to have an erection. He said it was also the most satisfying of the three because he was able to give me such pleasure.

    My feelings about the overall experience are mixed. On one hand, that last position was fantastic. Even as I write this the next morning it's still stuck in my brain! After the first few seconds I didn't notice at all that it was a dildo instead of hubby. In fact, in some ways it might even be better than the real thing. Although I love that position, it also requires that I give up control. That's ok sometimes (and maybe also part of the appeal). But this time, with hubby locked, felt different. I got to have it both ways: I let hubby "take" me, but was still in complete control of his orgasm. We'll definitely do that again. I was also surprised at how much hubby enjoyed me riding him. That might be worth another try, especially if I basically ignore hubby and treat it as a way to enjoy myself. It did feel great.

    On the other hand, having hubby inside me is about much more than the physical sensations. There's a unique emotional closeness and intimacy that was missing with the dildo. So as enjoyable as everything had been, I still have an itch that needs scratching.
     
    Zevon, Danny15, hopefulhubby and 10 others like this.
  6. Jessica Alexander
    Offline

    Jessica Alexander Trans woman not a mistress or Dom

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2016
    Messages:
    2,252
    Likes Received:
    4,571
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Female
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Houston
    Local Time:
    9:04 PM
    I know you have a reluctance to use the lidocaine but if you let him edge himself (which really massages the lidocaine in) for 20 minutes after application under a condom, he can jump in the shower and quickly wash with soap and you would probably have at least 30 minutes or longer before the effect wears off for him. That way, you don't have to worry about a condom in the way or some lidocaine numbing YOUR sensations. It very intimate but he won't be able to get enough stimulation to push him over the edge. Just warn him that he needs to warn you if you want to push the time limits of effectiveness which can vary between people.
     
  7. little_dude
    Offline

    little_dude Active member

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2021
    Messages:
    66
    Likes Received:
    45
    Trophy Points:
    28
    Gender:
    Male
    Local Time:
    10:04 PM
    MsPamela, this is amazing as always. I can only imagine how it must feel for Hubby. As mentioned some time back (and at another side), we are far far away from that state (well, I guess I am, my Lady not so much ;-) )

    I'm curious how these 6 months will continue. Thank you for sharing!
     
  8. MsPamela
    Offline

    MsPamela Long term member

    Joined:
    Mar 25, 2020
    Messages:
    346
    Likes Received:
    2,708
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Female
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    US
    Local Time:
    4:04 PM
    Apologies in advance of a fairly long and somewhat boring post....

    Several people have suggested that this journey should all be about what I want. I only partially agree. I think it should be about both what I want and what hubby wants. Although I am thrilled to have full control over certain aspects of our lives, I have never taken that to mean that my desires more important than hubby's. Over the years I have grown much more dominant in the bedroom. But that only works because it continues to serve both hubby's needs and my own.

    Even so, it is still important to figure out what I want. Ignoring hubby for a moment, what do I want out of chastity? Initially I was going to say "nothing". I certainly felt that way when hubby first proposed us adding chastity into our regular routine. I was perfectly satisfied with that routine. I got to control hubby's orgasms, play him like an instrument, and receive whatever pleasure I wanted, whenever I wanted it. Our marriage was wonderful, which I partially credit to our routine. I wasn't looking to change anything about it.

    The first several weeks of chastity showed me something I definitely did not want: hubby locked up while he was going through post-orgasm drop. There has always been some amount of drop, but chastity magnified the effect, and I found it result unpleasant. Hubby was still interested in chastity, I didn't like how he acted after an orgasm, and we landed on "no more orgasms", perhaps rather hastily.

    That's actually an absurd plan for us. I think I'm mostly sticking with it because I can be quite stubborn, especially with hubby. Sometimes I turn a minor disagreement into a battle of wills that I'm determined to win. He thinks he can give up orgasms? I'll show him! I'm not proud of this side of me, but it would be dishonest not to admit it is playing a role here. So let me try to put that aside and look at the last few weeks on their own, ignoring the impetus that led us here.

    Hubby has been wonderful. He very quickly reached a level of devotion that I rarely see, and it has made me feel deeply loved and cherished. That's a pretty big plus. Even if that tapers off over time, it's still going to be a plus.

    I like wearing the key around my neck. I've always had control over hubby's orgasms, but the key is a physical token of that control. It's not a huge factor, though still a plus.

    Taking away orgasms has forced me to rethink our habits. I'm a creature of habit, so this felt like a big minus at first. But the results have been fun. Though I enjoyed our old routine, perhaps we did need to shake it up a bit. I'll call this one even for now, perhaps a small plus once we establish a new routine.

    I miss giving hubby an orgasm. Actually, that's not quite accurate. I don't miss the orgasm itself. I miss giving him such great pleasure. I thought this would be a big minus. But the other day hubby said the magic words: "even better than an orgasm". I was floating on clouds. So there are ways for me to give him that same level of pleasure without an orgasm. It does, however, require some effort and creativity. A small minus for now, but perhaps could break even once I'm more accustomed to it.

    I miss having hubby inside me. Big minus. A few workarounds have been suggested, and I'll probably try one at some point if I get achy enough, but I doubt it will fully scratch this itch. Probably a big minus regardless.

    To my surprise, there's a lot to like. And the scale should tip even more in chastity's favor as time goes by and I get more accustomed to everything. There's still one glaring problem: I want hubby inside of me. I don't need it every day or week, but once every three months sounds terrible to me. Monthly might be feasible. It's not perfect, but it's probably good enough and the other plusses of chastity would more than make up for the difference.

    The other cost is hubby's post orgasm drop. I shouldn't blow it out of proportion. He wasn't a terrible person during that phase. He was a little moody and a bunch of little things felt "off". I didn't relish the thought of working through that every week or two. I also probably didn't give hubby a fair chance. The mood swing likely caught him by surprise as well. With practice maybe it won't be as big of a deal. Perhaps there are some things I can do to nudge him back a little faster. But even if none of this works, several touchy days out of a month shouldn't be a dealbreaker. I still think there will be enough positive throughout the rest of the month to make it all worthwhile.

    Overall, I believe that I want hubby to remain in chastity with an orgasm every month or so. That feels like a good balance from my perspective. What about hubby? I could ask him but I doubt I'd get a useful answer. Our conversations are usually a lot more productive looking backwards about what worked or didn't work rather than trying to extrapolate forwards. Like with most things I think we'll just try this and see how it goes.

    We're coming up on one month pretty fast, so one day soon hubby is going to get a very nice surprise.
     
  9. Chaz69
    Offline

    Chaz69 Long term member

    Joined:
    Dec 11, 2021
    Messages:
    1,654
    Likes Received:
    1,803
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    IT
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Midwest, USA
    Local Time:
    4:04 PM
    That's such a great attitude.
     
    switchling likes this.
  10. SheMastersMyDomain
    Offline

    SheMastersMyDomain In continuous chastity since 1/1/19

    Joined:
    Jan 7, 2019
    Messages:
    196
    Likes Received:
    300
    Trophy Points:
    73
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Queen City, USA
    Local Time:
    5:04 PM
    @MsPamela
    Have been following your story with interest. You are a great writer. In many ways, your experience parallels mine. Although, I have been in chastity for a much longer time, continuous since the beginning of 2019. The reason I’m jumping into your thread now is to offer a little food for thought. My wife very much prefers PIV as opposed to all the synthetic alternatives. Over the last several years, she has trained me to provide her PIV at her desire without allowing me an orgasm. It has taken awhile. I thrust and stop repeatedly, and have improved my performance over the last few years that I can now service her as long as she desires without me having an orgasm. She has mostly trained me to orgasm from pegging, but that’s another story for another day. In any case, it’s been a win-win for our intimacy. And she still Controls my orgasms. And I’m better for it. So, while I am in continuous chastity, she lets me out several mornings per week when she wants it, and when she is done with it, I go right back in the cage. This has worked well for us. One piece of advice if you want to try this……the longer she keeps me locked without release, the harder it is to perform PIV for her benefit without cumming. If she takes me out regularly and teases/denies my orgasm, but let’s me stretch out and edges me, that seems to better prepare me for repeated edging while I am performing PIV for her benefit and our marital intimacy.
    Good luck with whatever roads you go down. It’s all fun. regards.
     
  11. bitslinger
    Offline

    bitslinger Active member

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2015
    Messages:
    68
    Likes Received:
    78
    Trophy Points:
    18
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Jack of all trades, master of none.
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Southwestern United States
    Local Time:
    3:04 PM
    #61 bitslinger, May 19, 2022
    Last edited: May 19, 2022
    Another very well thought-out post, and an enjoyable read.

    Depending on what you like about him being inside of you, maybe exploring Karezza or Tantric sex can help you achieve both of your goals. In Karezza, the goal is intimate bonding through intercourse without orgasm, or at least only with infrequent orgasms. The whole idea is to keep the sexual energy high in the relationship by abstaining from orgasm during intercourse. While much of it is about no orgasm for either partner, it can of course be tailored to allow you to orgasm while he doesn't.

    https://www.healthline.com/health/karezza
    https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/karezza-method/

    And some interesting reading here
    https://synergyexplorers.org/

    There used to be a nice web site with a lot of discussion and articles, but the hostess' husband passed away and the site was taken offline. There's an archive of it here from a few years ago, but unfortunately some of the links are old and don't work. Still, it's interesting to browse the archive:
    https://web.archive.org/web/20190205135234/https://www.reuniting.info/
     
  12. little_dude
    Offline

    little_dude Active member

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2021
    Messages:
    66
    Likes Received:
    45
    Trophy Points:
    28
    Gender:
    Male
    Local Time:
    10:04 PM
    Nothing boring about your last post, Ms Pamela. The absolute opposite. The way you reflect on yourself helps me to better understand what women - no, ladies - feel, when they deny their partners' orgasms; what they like and dislike, that excites and what worries them.
    It also shows, why Hubby cannot do anything but admire and adore you!
    Thank you again for your post. Please let us participate further :)
     
  13. Stephplayswithyou
    Offline

    Stephplayswithyou Long term member

    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2022
    Messages:
    326
    Likes Received:
    454
    Trophy Points:
    73
    Local Time:
    3:04 PM
    @MsPamela , I agree with little_dude that there's nothing boring about it. It's great to hear from the female perspective and what's going through your mind. I'm sure many women have similar stories but it's nice to actually hear them. I find your writings to help me be a better partner and where there's areas of opportunity for me to learn. Thank you for taking the time to share, I'm sure I'm not the only one, but it's truly appreciated.
     
  14. MsPamela
    Offline

    MsPamela Long term member

    Joined:
    Mar 25, 2020
    Messages:
    346
    Likes Received:
    2,708
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Female
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    US
    Local Time:
    4:04 PM
    I surprised hubby with an orgasm a couple nights ago. I had unlocked him for a little teasing and decided that I really wanted to feel him inside of me. I straddled his body and rubbed up against him, a familiar ache building between my legs. He grabbed my hips and I let him slide inside, making him promise not to cum. After a few slow thrusts, I slid up so that just the tip of him was still inside, my body pressed on top of his while we cooled down a little. A few more thrusts, another pause.

    That's one of my absolute favorite ways to tease hubby. I love holding him there, so very close to the edge while he fights the urge to fuck me. But usually he's had an orgasm relatively recently and I can count on his self control. This time was different - a month of teasing and denial had definitely raised the stakes. I made him repeat his promise not to cum, and rewarded him with a few more thrusts.

    I would have loved to have made it last longer, but I knew I was playing with fire. I told him he could have an orgasm, but only if he promised to clean up. His frantic thrusts signaled his agreement and seconds later he exploded inside me. It was wonderful.

    Then came the moment of truth. Hubby frequently eats his cum after a ruined orgasm. But a full orgasm is a completely different story. I've tried it a few times and it made him very uncomfortable. So it hasn't ever been part of our regular play. I scooted up, my legs on either side of his head, and I could see the apprehension in his eyes. I reminded him of his promise and lowered my pussy onto his face.

    I felt a single tentative lick, then nothing more. In my sternest voice I ordered him to clean up his mess, and he resumed with a few careful licks. I reminded him that he was going right back into the chastity device, and if he didn't do a good job cleaning up then he'd have an orgasm free summer. Perhaps it was my words, or perhaps something else, but he began to lick more enthusiastically.

    It certainly felt nice, but it's not a comfortable position for me and my own pleasure wasn't really the goal. My hope was that forcing such a submissive act right after his orgasm might help nudge things back on track with less post-orgasm moodiness. Once I felt he'd spent enough time cleaning up I climbed off and thanked him. I also promptly locked him back in the chastity cage, only giving him enough time for his erection to subside.

    Everything seemed pretty normal the next day. His demeanor was certainly different than a day or two before, but that's to be expected given that he was no longer so desperate for release. To nudge things along a little faster I kept him locked that evening, and only teased him through the cage.

    This seems to have worked, at least from my perspective. If hubby felt any moodiness from a post-orgasm drop then he's hidden it well. I haven't seen anything like our earlier experiments locking him back up after a week or two. Maybe something changes after a month of denial. Or maybe re-locking right away or forcing him to clean up helped. Regardless, I'm happy with the results and I believe hubby is as well. Overall I'm enjoying keeping hubby in chastity, and monthly orgasms seem a lot more realistic than "no orgasms" for us.
     
  15. Matthew989
    Offline

    Matthew989 Active member

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2020
    Messages:
    118
    Likes Received:
    354
    Trophy Points:
    73
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    London
    Local Time:
    9:04 PM
    This is very similar to our experiences Ms Pamela - ultimately my KH decides the length of our chastity period. After a 4 month period of denial she demanded two weeks of non stop PIV only to be followed by another month locked up. The variation keeps me on my toes, never knowing how long each period will last for. Your descriptions are wonderful and a great way of explaining why this lifestyle is amazing.
     
    Locked4QueenK and Chaz69 like this.
  16. asastype
    Offline

    asastype Service sub to Mistress AMA

    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2019
    Messages:
    497
    Likes Received:
    1,194
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    IT
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Central Iowa USA
    Local Time:
    4:04 PM
    Congrats on finding a path that works for You and Your hubby, @MsPamela, and thank You for writing such an interesting and informative thread.

    Your commanding him to consume sounds like it did the trick and hopefully he will be more eager the next time as he makes the connection between climaxing and consuming. Best of luck on Your journey!

    asa
     
  17. iome343
    Offline

    iome343 Long term member

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2016
    Messages:
    504
    Likes Received:
    386
    Trophy Points:
    73
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Italy
    Local Time:
    10:04 PM
    Always very interesting reports, @MsPamela : congratulations.

    In my opinion you touch on two different aspects.
    On duration, my opinion is that there has to be an orgasm every now and then, which helps to keep home on the edge by reminding what you he is giving up.
    Also, it's important that it's kh desire at the centre and if you want to do PIV every day and maybe go further until orgasm it's ok to do so.

    The second aspect is the post-orgasm attitude. I don't think it is related to the number of days of chastity, rather I think it is related to your having the reins in your hand. You showed it in a decisive way and wanting to be licked after the collapse of his arousal confirmed it.
    This was the strongest click.
     
    gentleman zig and carlayoung like this.
  18. MsPamela
    Offline

    MsPamela Long term member

    Joined:
    Mar 25, 2020
    Messages:
    346
    Likes Received:
    2,708
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Female
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    US
    Local Time:
    4:04 PM
    I'm a little surprised, but chastity has been working very well for us. For years we've relied mostly on the honor system, briefly experimenting with chastity now and then, but always returning to our routine. This time feels different. Very different. The start, back in April, was a little bumpy. But since then it feels like everything has fallen into place. Hubby was allowed a single orgasm in May, and I locked him back up immediately afterwards. June was the same - an orgasm near the end of the month, and then right back to the cage. I'm not sure if it's the longer wait for an orgasm, or the way that I reassert control afterwards, but overall it seems to be working. Hubby snaps right back after those orgasms - a little less frustrated and desperate, but without any of that negative drop from back in April.

    Honestly, I don't know how hubby manages. I was always amazed that he was willing wait a week for his orgasm. For me, there has to be a good reason to skip even one day, and I definitely get a bit antsy after two or three days without an orgasm - especially if I've been thinking about it. Our old routine of a week seems crazy enough, especially with me teasing him so frequently. I can't even imagine enduring that for an entire month. But hubby has reassured me that he's happy with our new arrangement.

    I've become more adept at teasing hubby without unlocking him. After a couple weeks of denial, it seems that every sensation is enhanced, opening up so many wonderful possibilities. One of my new favorites is to gently caress hubby's balls with one hand while my other hand pinches his nipples. Something about this particular combination really gets hubby going. I've done it while he's unlocked, letting the anticipation build until finally giving him a few proper strokes. But it's even better when he's still in the cage, his cock trapped and unable to get erect. After a few minutes his moans have a familiar hint of desperation that often means an orgasm is close. But in this case the orgasm never arrives. There's just not enough sensation and it remains elusively out of reach.

    But I think the prize goes to pegging. I enjoy the role reversal, and keeping hubby locked magnifies it further. It's amazingly intimate and hubby enjoys it immensely. I wouldn't quite call it a "regular" thing with us yet, but I've certainly pegged him more frequently during last couple months than ever before, and it always feels special.

    All in all this has introduced some much appreciated variety to our routine. Sometimes I unlock hubby for some serious edging. Sometimes I tease him some other way while leaving him locked. Occasionally I start out with him locked, and surprise him with a little extra edging afterwards. It's good to keep him guessing, never quite sure what's in store for the evening.
     
  19. little_dude
    Offline

    little_dude Active member

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2021
    Messages:
    66
    Likes Received:
    45
    Trophy Points:
    28
    Gender:
    Male
    Local Time:
    10:04 PM
    Good to hear that everything has developed quite nicely. I am with you: I don't know how your Hubby manages a month without cuming, but reading through the forum here, i think it is rather me, who is the exemption :D
     
  20. MsPamela
    Offline

    MsPamela Long term member

    Joined:
    Mar 25, 2020
    Messages:
    346
    Likes Received:
    2,708
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Female
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    US
    Local Time:
    4:04 PM
    It's all relative to what you are used to. Years and years ago, when hubby and I first started with orgasm denial, waiting even a few days was a challenge, and a week was a "long time". Then after a while a week became our new normal, and occasionally I'd make him wait longer. I guess I shouldn't be that surprised that after all this time our "normal" could be a month. From my perspective that seems like a crazy long time. But for hubby perhaps it's just the next step.

    Everyone is at a different place and it isn't a competition. You and your partner's happiness is the only measure that matters.
     
    Chaz69, th81, iome343 and 4 others like this.
  21. little_dude
    Offline

    little_dude Active member

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2021
    Messages:
    66
    Likes Received:
    45
    Trophy Points:
    28
    Gender:
    Male
    Local Time:
    10:04 PM
    You're so right @MsPamela, be assured, we are happy. It's just, I've been following you and Hubby's journey since quite some time (starting at the other platform) and have not "progressed" yet... I am so happy that this indeed is no competition.;)

    Looking forward to you next post!
     
  22. Melange
    Offline

    Melange Member

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2022
    Messages:
    39
    Likes Received:
    81
    Trophy Points:
    18
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    UK, Northwest England
    Local Time:
    9:04 PM
    Thank you for sharing this. So envious of him.
     
  23. MsPamela
    Offline

    MsPamela Long term member

    Joined:
    Mar 25, 2020
    Messages:
    346
    Likes Received:
    2,708
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Female
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    US
    Local Time:
    4:04 PM
    I'm trying to figure out what to do about Locktober.

    I remember the first time hubby and I tried Locktober. The chastity device was still somewhat novel to us, and a month was a ridiculously long time to wait between orgasms. I still unlocked him for lots of teasing (probably every night). Locktober made us a little more adventurous, and the month was fun as hell.

    We've also tried what I call "strict" Locktober: no unlocking except for occasional hygiene. That record is more mixed: one year felt like a slog, the other seemed pretty good (though I learned a ton both times).

    This year is kind of strange. Hubby's been in the chastity cage since April, so spending October locked up is just like any other month. Giving up his orgasms for the month is also not a huge difference. He would only have one orgasm anyway, and pushing it from late October until early November isn't a big deal (says the person who isn't giving up any orgasms at all). Hubby also tended to get more submissive as Locktober progressed, but again that almost seems like our new normal these days. The chastity belt has really cemented us into our respective dominant and submissive roles.

    I'm not complaining. Locktober has lost its shine simply because our everyday lives have gotten so much more interesting. That would be like someone who lives in Hawaii complaining about tropical vacations being boring.

    Still, I want to do something special, which leaves us with "strict" Locktober. No unlocking, no edging, no erections for the month. I find the idea very appealing, though I'm not exactly sure why. I don't like being cruel to hubby. Quite the opposite - it's very important to me that hubby enjoys our experiences together. But I do like being in control, and this year's experiment with chastity has shown me how thrilling it can be to not just control hubby's orgasms, but essentially take control of his cock.

    I have also become a lot more comfortable leaving him locked even after he's pleasured me. It used to seem awkward and unfair, but nowadays I embrace it. I used to worry that I was being too mean to hubby, but I have since learned that hubby likes hearing "no" just as much as "yes". A balance of both makes everything better. So when I'm in the mood I unlock him for a little teasing. And those other times I simply thank him for the beautiful orgasm and kiss him goodnight. Wednesday's "locked" makes Thursday's unlock that much more special.

    But I'm not so sure that same principle can be extended to an entire month. Especially when "locked" is a forgone conclusion. No suspense. No hope. Just a month of hubby giving up an awful lot. Locktober can't just be about subtracting things - something else needs to be added.

    In my head, I tend to conflate edging and teasing - perhaps because edging is the simplest, most reliable, and most frequent way I tease hubby. But they really are completely different things. I won't be able to edge hubby while he's locked up, but there are still plenty of ways to tease him. In fact, taking his cock out of the picture kind of forces us to be a bit more creative. That's probably a very good thing. Hubby and I have been together a very long time, and it's important to keep things from feeling stale. Perhaps the bit I've liked the most about past Locktobers is that it shook up our routine for a month. The big question is "how?".

    I like rituals, so maybe I can come up with a ritual hubby could adhere to every day or week or whatever. I don't have anything particular in mind, but it is worth some thought.

    What would hubby like? That's always a tricky question. He's rarely communicative about anything sexual, and tends to defer to my wishes. On one hand, that's sweet. On the other hand, it is incredibly frustrating when I'm the one responsible for the plan.

    The only idea that comes to mind is pegging. Although he's far too embarrassed to say so, it is obvious that he loves it. I don't do it very often, probably because it takes some planning and can feel like a bit of a chore. But once we've started it is always wonderful. I love the way he responds, and it can lead to some truly intimate moments. I thoroughly enjoy it, but for whatever reason it is rare that I have the impetus to initiate it. Perhaps I just need to make it a regular thing during Locktober.

    I still have a few more days to figure this out. Worst case, we'll just skip Locktober and stick with our normal routine - which is already fantastic in my book.
     
  24. Stephplayswithyou
    Offline

    Stephplayswithyou Long term member

    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2022
    Messages:
    326
    Likes Received:
    454
    Trophy Points:
    73
    Local Time:
    3:04 PM
    @MsPamela , wow, I love your post and sharing your insight into what goes through your mind. It is a process and to many, like yourselves, you're well into chastity and your routines. I can see how Locktober is just another month, but that you still desire to make it something special is great! Thank you for sharing and best of luck in your decisions.
     
  25. IB-Chaste
    Offline

    IB-Chaste Chastity Superman.

    Joined:
    Jun 20, 2022
    Messages:
    2,870
    Likes Received:
    5,608
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Local Time:
    9:04 PM
    An absolutely engrossing read. Maybe it’s the female perspective but I find this rather intriguing, which is odd as it pretty much parallels in my own relationship. It’s probably because it’s so well written.
    I found this comment relatable:
    The part about it being a chore anyhow, I imagine it was for my wife anyhow. It was always a massive event until recently.
    Chastity has helped. I don’t really need the foreplay. Anticipation. The build up. In fact I’ve come to realise that the anticipation is the exact opposite of what I need. Everything feels pretty much overwhelming whenever it’s happening. So my wife has taken to just ‘doing it’. She will literally just get her strapon out (or more usually tell me to get it), lube up and get on with it. Obviously there’s some foreplay. She has however changed how she’s uses. As you describe it can be quite intimate, and in our case she now pretty much uses it in the same ways I would have previously had sex with her. Missionary, spooning. Positions she can really touch me. Cutting out the positions she wouldn’t really prefer on her. Doggy is nice but it’s more of a one sided position in our life.
    This makes the experience less of a chore and more (without sounding like a 16 year old girl who’s just lost her virginity) special.

    So, after a very long winded response I’d say not to make it a regular thing just to enhance a chastity event.

    Reading it’s clear you don’t actually need my advice. But for me if I wanted a really special reward for locktober I’d have one pegging experience. All the romantic things I would have done for her previously in a special occasion (or envisage I would, we’re not romantic types). Candles, music, massage, oral (rimming) prior to making love… with your strapon. A truly feminising experience (without the silly crossdressing, as we’re not into that either).

    Anyway, thanks for sharing. I skipped a bit but I’m guessing I’ll come back and catch up.
     
    Sexy Slave 69 likes this.
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice