A Milestone Comes and Goes

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by UnderHerEye, Aug 8, 2020.

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  1. UnderHerEye
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    #1 UnderHerEye, Aug 8, 2020
    Last edited: Aug 8, 2020
    So yesterday marked the one year anniversary of our FLR and my life in a chastity device full-time. Before I get to a few observations of my first year I'll just say I'm as happy with our FLR and my chastity on day 365 as I was on day one. That's not to say it has been a magic bullet for our relationship or sex life but it has, on balance, been an incredibly rewarding adventure with my wife.

    Some numbers from the last year, purely for interest's sake:
    • Days wearing chastity device: 366 (Leap year)
    • Permitted orgasms: 8
    • Longest period of time without orgasm: 74 days
    • Longest period in chastity device locked 24/7 (no release): 45 days (typically a week to two weeks with release for cleaning/shaving)

    My chastity began in the Vice Mini but after a few months, we moved over to a Mature Metal Pet Trap. The move to metal made chastity much more comfortable especially for longer term confinement. A few helpful things I learned along the way:

    • I'm much more comfortable with daily use of a silicone lubricant around the base ring and a few drops inside the cage itself. I keep a small bottle in my briefcase in case I need it at work or on the road.
    • Cleaning with a cage like the Pet Trap is challenging but became much easier after I ordered foam tipped electronics/printer head cleaning swabs. Given the length of confinement I faced, it was vital to have a good way to clean the inside of the cage.
    • Mornings can be uncomfortable as there seems to be some testicular retraction and pain that can occur at the base ring. Heat is your friend here or anytime you feel like your testicles are retracting uncomfortably. A good hot shower or a heating pad will do wonders to relax the boys and return you to comfort.
    • As nervous as I was about a smaller base ring size, dropping a size actually made my pet trap more comfortable to wear.
    • The smallest cage that will fit comfortably (like a glove) is vital for comfort, particularly for sleep and nocturnal erections. If the erection is arrested early, there's much less strain on the testicles and scrotum.
    • For the first time in my life premature ejaculation became a problem. Numbing spray helps but can be challenging to find the right amount. One or two sprays max for me as my wife generally wants us to climax simultaneously. Too much and I could be chasing orgasm for quite a while which doesn't make her happy.

    Some general observations from a year of FLR:

    • I stopped fantasizing about other women. The only woman I can become aroused by through fantasizing, is my wife. That's not to say that I don't find women attractive or sexy, but arousal only comes from thinking about my wife. This, I think is my favorite thing about our FLR and my chastity and I'm ashamed to say a major change for me from years past.
    • Chastity and FLR didn't turn my wife into a nymphomaniac. I think it definitely improved our sex life by necessarily making us think about sex more with me in a physical chastity device. But it wasn't some transformative thing that changed everything. I think expecting that kind of transformation sets you up for disappointment so try to avoid it. It will be what it is for you.
    • I, on the other hand, am incredibly horny all the damned time. Like, constantly...and far more than before chastity.
    • If your wife or partner is like mine, he or she may be good with the chastity thing but less into being a sexually dominant partner. Pleasing my wife often had less to do with pleasing her sexually but rather being a better, much more attentive and serving husband around the house and in life.
    So that's it. Just a few thoughts and observations on the last year. I'm perpetually grateful to my beautiful Dea for being a willing participant in this peculiar adventure. I look forward to finding more and better ways to serve and make her happy in the years to come.

    Oh, and no release for me on our one year anniversary, just another day locked up.
     
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  2. Lazlo Toth
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    Lazlo Toth Active member

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    Thank you for the superb summary of your year. Every thought and word you shared just screamed "honest truth". Not one ounce of hyperbole in there. You did a great job showing how rewarding chastity can be--even if it doesn't include gangbangs with a thousand men and forced sexual reassignment surgery while drugged in a foreign country.

    I was particularly intrigued by your mentioning of how the past year taught you to focus solely on her for your arousal. This is something I hope chastity does for me. Would you mind elaborating on that topic please? (maybe start a new thread on that, as this summary you wrote is too good for the topic to be hijacked)

    Thanks again UnderHerEye
     
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  3. UnderHerEye
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    Thank you so much! I'm really glad you found it helpful and real.

    I think the change in my arousal patterns was the most surprising aspect of FLR/chastity I experienced. Again, I don't want to sound like I'm some perfect male angel who doesn't notice a beautiful woman. I definitely do but it's very different now. I can appreciate her beauty but I simply don't become sexually aroused by other women anymore--certainly not how I do with my wife. I think in large part that comes from my brain not allowing me to fantasize about sexual situations with women other than my wife since on a deep level it knows I'm fully off the market with a very secure device in place. Some of the fantasy lies in the idea that you could be with this stranger. I can't with this Pet Trap in place. But the moment I start thinking about my wife, my brain knows she, and only she, holds the key and only she can let me out, if she chooses. That does rev me up. And since I'm always thinking about it, I'm pretty much revved up all the time.

    Good luck and cheers!
     
  4. Lazlo Toth
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    I appreciate the sober and matter of fact description of this critical aspect of chastity. I see that it wasn't only chastity that helped you, it was also your willingness to mature as a husband.

    If there's anyone's story here that I'd love to copy, it'd be yours.
     
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  5. Lazlo Toth
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    If I may further ask, would you say that this transformation occurred in stages along the year? Maybe a little bit each month? Or was there a threshold?

    In other words, what would you recommend for someone like me who wants that same result--only becoming aroused by one's spouse? A certain duration of chastity? Continuous lock ups? Release schedule?

    Thanks for your comments.
     
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  6. UnderHerEye
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    UnderHerEye Member

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    Great question. I don't think there's a recipe for that. I think, for me at least, it was the commitment we made to each other and the necessary trust that came from it that led to my change in psychology. Said another way It was the surrendering of full control to my wife that mattered, not any of the specific aspects of the chastity experience that made the difference. I hope that makes sense.
     
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  7. Lazlo Toth
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    That makes PERFECT sense. Thank you. I sort of am seeing a change recently in my wife (and our relationship) when she received keys with no asterisks attached to them. (Yay! Cherry Keeper!) Prior, we always had to have an easy out for me because the cb6ks really couldn't be worn by me for more than two or three days. Now she has REAL keys and that total submission you mention. .......you just may be right good man!
     
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  8. LesterBallard
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    Congratulations and thanks for these detailed observations.
     
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  9. aminima
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    a very honest and usefull report! thanks for sharing.
     
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  10. madams-sissysub
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    Congratulations on your milestone! And thanks for sharing your experiences and thoughts.
     
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  11. Rogu
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    Lots of useful stuff here. Thank you!
     
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  12. Lakeman
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    Lakeman Active member

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    My experience with chastity is pretty much identical, you’ve expressed it very well!
     
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  13. UnderHerEye
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    UnderHerEye Member

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    Thank you!
     
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  14. UnderHerEye
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    Thanks, appreciate that!
     
  15. UnderHerEye
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    Thank you!
     
  16. UnderHerEye
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    UnderHerEye Member

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    Thank you!
     
  17. UnderHerEye
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    Thank you!
     
  18. bondinchas
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    • .
    That's quite an important difference between men and women, which explains a lot about sexual relationships:

    Men give love in order to get sex, and
    Women give sex in order to get love.

    Relationships work when you're both giving, otherwise you're not both getting.
     
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