We've all been in that relationship with someone that is high maintenance. I dated a girl in college that was obsessed with her appearance. There was no "casual" look. She had to be dressed to the 9's, fully made-up or she could not go out or have someone come over. I found it to be very high maintenance because there was no spontaneity and she couldn't partake in activities that required grungy outfits. I had to either exclude her from things I did or not do them if I wanted to be with her. I was talking with my wife recently when we both agreed that I am a high maintenance submissive. Not sure if this is an oxymoron or not? What I mean is I seem to need her to act from a position of strength to keep me feeling submissive. As opposed to somebody who is just submissive by nature. To be fair I don't require much, but a daily reminder of some kind seems to be what works. It can be 30 seconds kneeling before her kissing her feet or something more elaborate, but it has to be her demanding it or initiating it. It doesn't work if I initiate it. Any rate I thought this might be a subject others can or can't relate to so throwing it out there for comment.
You're a high maintenance submissive in the minds of the fantasists and those who don't understand how human relationships work. By any sane standard, you sound fairly low maintenance.
I wouldn’t say I’m high maintenance, but in general, most of all this requires a certain amount of effort from her emotionally. I don’t exactly require anything, but certain things do seem to grease the wheels of progress. All in all she has grown to enjoy doing them to get the response she likes. Some things would also do the trick and she doesn’t enjoy them, so she doesn’t do them. Some of the routines and rituals can be work, especially if sometimes one isn’t into it all the way. Yes I guess there are some submissives that requires nothing, expect nothing, and give give give. I think that is not especially realistic, basic human nature is somewhat selfish. Some people requiring nothing, also get something out of serving, even if their dominant isn’t doing anything for them.
Expecting reciprocation isn't selfish. You could say that it is when what it is offered isn't something that was wanted in the first place and that would be true, but in any close relationship, a basic level of consideration is expected and this can fulfill that. That being said, it is absolutely possible to be overly needy or demanding. That is not, however, as some people here believe when a submissive wants or needs anything.
I know I’m high maintenance. Most of the doms here probably would kick me out the first week. I like to be forced.
I am totally high maintenance in this way mostly: if she says something like "this Friday you are going to be disciplined" or sets up a similar play session and does not follow through, I get seriously moody.
I think I am in same boat as others. I am lucky my wife is GGG when her sex drive is above average. When she has a high sex drive, she can be down right wild. But her sex drive fluctuates more than my does. And I think I need “kink” for more than just “sex”. It helps me deal. Low scale “lifestyle” kink is like diet and exercise for me. So—-when she has a lower sex drive, I get more stuck in my head and moody and unsure of what to do with myself. I don’t make a lot of demands. But I really really miss it when we are flat and without a spark. I’d also say, when her more wild side is out, I also don’t know what to do and get a little anxious about the boundaries of her streaks.
i KNOW i am high maintenance, needy, i think is the common parlance. i didn't know just how needy until i was relocked and my Holder didn't respond for a couple of days and i started worrying that i had offended them and got to the point where i decided that they now hated me and i was just resigned to being depressed and alone. Over two days. i am that needy. So, @PouchPantyLover - i would say that you are not that high-maintenance at all. i would posit that this is pretty normal stuff for a relationship like the one you are lucky enough to have. That said, you could argued to be higher maintenance than some of the denizens here, whose courage and equanimity i find inspiring and pretty scary! my wife has pointed out that my neediness is part of the problem, i can't wait, she says. She's right, we're coming up on our three year anniversary of our latest sexual drought and i am struggling a bit with that. As she said in our recent rocky patch: "if you're waiting for me to 'put out'" she spat those words "we may as well divorce." This will be our longest only because, about two years in to our second long drought, we had sex that was desultory and bad with her announcing afterward "that should stop you complaining that it's been two years." Her voice was deadpan. After that, it was another two years until we had some sex and then another two after that until the next time. i digress. i would thus argue that you, nor anyone else here, can really describe themselves as 'high maintenance'.
Wow, this is not the response I was expecting. I was expecting a lot of keep calm and trust your Mistress type posts. I actually feel somewhat normal. I mean for a guy who's penis is in a cage and is wearing panties that's saying a lot. Thank you all for the positive reinforcement, it does help. I still will think of myself as high maintenance, but feel I am in good company. I think it's not so much my needing or more accurately wanting the attention. It is my reaction when it doesn't happen that qualifies me for this label. As others have said I begin to get moody and then I deliberately act up trying to force attention even if it's negative.