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A Girl And Her Boy

Discussion in 'Chastity journals and blogs' started by PuellaPurpurea, Jun 1, 2017.

  1. PuellaPurpurea
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    First journal entry since the start of our three-month experiment (May 20)! After a hiatus from chastity devices, I put him away in his Holy Trainer last night. I have left him locked until now, as per our schedule to slowly get him comfortable wearing it outside of sessions. He has reported no problems. I'm sure he'll be grateful for the slightly more comfortable sleep tonight, although I'm almost certain he'll start humping me. XD If that happens, he knows the rule/backup plan: he gets his hands chained to the side of the bed!
     
  2. Jasmic68
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    Jasmic68 living in interesting times

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    He's lucky he gets to sleep with you. I rarely get to sleep with my Wife. She decided a long time ago that she needed sleep more than she needed me in her bed! It's one of the reasons I felt she was in charge anyway. When I discovered the idea of a FLR it just gave a name to what we were already doing.
     
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  3. Redhead's Hubby
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    Redhead's Hubby Active Member

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    @Jasmic68@Jasmic68 I too am no longer allowed to sleep with my wife. It started by me sleeping at her feet on the bed for a while, then I was told to sleep on the floor beside the bed. Recently I was sick for a few days and slept in the guest room while I got better. Once I was well again I told her I was ready to sleep on the floor again beside her bed. She said I was to now sleep in the guest room and she wanted the bed and the bedroom to herself. Even though she has taken full ownership of the bedroom it is still my duty to keep it clean, pick up her dirty clothes and make her bed daily. When this started a a few weeks ago she said I'm to wear a bra every day now and she refers to me as her sissymaid. Our traditional marriage seems to have ended and we are now in a femdom type and full FLR. What an amazing wife/ KH I have!
     
  4. Vinny
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    Vinny Locked up again. Starting year 6.

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    I consider him lucky. I have not been allowed to sleep and have intercourse with my wife for longer than we can remember. She thinks penises are not attractive and men are disgusting with their farting and shooting semen all over the sheets, etc. :) She prefers women for sex and aesthetics, but enjoys having sex that is only about her, with me. Having her girlfriend join us in a poly triad for 30 years of our 44 year marriage turned her to the dark side. I mean a vagina. :)

    I enjoy having my own manly decorated bedroom and having the whole bed to myself. The only evidence of my wife are the various whips, canes, paddles, straps and crops hanging next to my dresser. You are doing it the right way by taking baby steps. So many guys get their device and want to wear it 24/7 right away ending up in pain and disliking wearing it. Most chastity devices are sitting in dresser drawers after the initial excitement wears off. So baby steps is the way to go. Even more punishing than handcuffs is the only threat my wife gives me. If I am not locked all the time unless she says so, or I try to masturbate, she will threaten to give me the keys back and refuse to play chastity anymore. That keeps me in line more than any painful discipline she has inflicted on me.

    Have fun with it and good luck.
     
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  5. harddenial
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    harddenial Member

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    Ha, could be us too. With me lockedup she knows I stay frustrated. She sometimes joins me in the morning to read together or chat but I need a definite sign before I can give pussy worship. A draped leg or a pause where she puts down her book and looks bored with a "come on then" attitude.
     
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  6. Jasmic68
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    Jasmic68 living in interesting times

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    The one thing I get more jealous about more than anything else I read about are the people who get to pussy worship on a regular basis. I am lucky if I get the chance once a week at the moment. My Wife loves it when I am allowed to lick her pussy but for the majority of the week she just isn't in the right frame of mind to want it. If she ever asked me if there was anything I wanted to change about our arrangement it would be this. I would ask for at least one other chance in the week.
     
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  7. Jasmic68
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    Jasmic68 living in interesting times

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    @Vinny@Vinny, I just discovered that the guy who created Wonder Woman in the 1940s lived in a Poly Triad. It's funny how something that once upon a time would have created a huge scandal was announced during a documentary about the new film with no emphasis at all, a sort of 'yeah, and?' Sort of attitude.
     
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  8. PuellaPurpurea
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    Hey, guys! Been away for a while, sadly. Things have been a bit crazy.

    About a month ago, we had a session (during which he was locked up) that he reported afterwards as painful. After this report, I lost my motivation to continue with the device training I had scheduled, fearing it more painful than it was worth.

    Fortunately, as of this last week, we've had a couple of heart-to-hearts and rekindled my passion. I revised the device training schedule appropriately, which included this past weekend…which went much more comfortably than last time, which is awesome! The new goal to finish out this three-month period is to wean him up to continuous wear, then put him in 24/7 for the final four weeks of the period. Our new device may help with comfort concerns once it arrives (we've ordered a Jailbird to replace our Holy Trainer), but even if it doesn't, I'm feeling good about this once again. Just wanted to share with y'all. <3
     
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  9. PuellaPurpurea
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    Well, funny timing... The very same evening I made my last post, we had an accident. As we were drifting off to sleep, my boy was aroused by my presence and started jostling the cage; I allowed it to continue, as it amused me. However, after a few minutes, he accidentally achieved a ruined orgasm just from this movement, which disappointed the both of us...but perhaps we should have expected it, as this problem has happened with this device (a Holy Trainer) once before.

    We discussed it and agreed that we will continue as planned, rather than resetting the clock, but we both find ourselves hoping once more that our new Jailbird, when it arrives, will have a much better fit. We have also agreed that if it doesn't, if the new device is still accident-prone like our current one, then we will cease the locked training and carry out the rest of the denial period on the honor system. Paradoxically, I think we'll be less accident-prone that way.
     
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  10. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    I am not sure you want to scrap the cage just because he is able to move it and achieve a ruined O. There is more to being caged than the lack of orgasms.

    I know for me it's the inability to achieve even an erection. I feel helpless and being sexual becomes futile. Plus the separation of contact creates this weird need for physical contact. Now just the thought of her touching my bare skin there is enough to get me leaking.

    There are other stuff too that make wearing a device well worth it. Constantly aware, even the irritation and occasional pain is like a badge of honor when of my commitment.

    Food for thought
     
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  11. PuellaPurpurea
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    Status update: further discussion with my partner has revealed that he's not sure whether the orgasm was ruined or not. Whether or not it was ruined, however, I still find myself preferring the honor system over a loose device. The ability for him to be stimulated up to release while locked up is one that doesn't sit well with me. I would rather have the device prevent orgasms than erections. Just my personal preference. Thanks for weighing in, though! Food for thought indeed.
     
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  12. PouchPantyLover
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    PouchPantyLover Well-Known Member

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    Hi @PuellaPurpurea@PuellaPurpurea and thanks for sharing your journey. As an FYI I switched to the jailbird a couple of months ago and I love it. I did have to get it re-sized once after getting it the first time, but once sized appropriately extended wear is not a problem. Also as an FYI it is not orgasm proof. I'm currently in deep trouble because my last orgasm was self induced and un-permitted while locked in the JB. I placed a magic wand on top of the main bar connecting ring and cage and it put me over the edge in just a few minutes. The only true orgasm prevention device is you getting into his head enough to stop him. Best of luck and hope your JB arrives soon.
     
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  13. Shepherdsflock
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    Shepherdsflock Well-Known Member

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    He needs a tighter device. Look into something custom that would fit tighter. You may also want to consider restraining his hands during sex if he just can't keep them off himself (his hands shouldn't be touching anything other than you anyway).
     
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  14. PuellaPurpurea
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    We're waiting on our Jailbird order and hoping that will help. ^^

    Regarding restraint, I nearly always restrain him during sessions. It's much more fun that way. Out of sessions, thanks to this incident, I'll consider being harsher~
     
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  15. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    I have to agree, looking for a device that is impossible to cum in is an impossible task.

    Mine is the closest I've had, it's totally enclosed except for the tip, but that has a piercing prong attached so vibration causes pain and not pleasure. That all said, I think given enough time and effort...say an hour or so, I think I could get there. I'm ok with that. It's supposed to be orgasm resistant not orgasm proof. Keeping casual touches from leading to full on fondling.

    And not to mention your new jailbird isn't keeping him in with a piercing. And I will go out on a limb and say I could pull out the back of any ball trap device that wasn't secured with a piercing and get myself off. The penis is a very maneuverable appendage...a person with his mind made up to orgasm...will.
     
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  16. Shepherdsflock
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    Shepherdsflock Well-Known Member

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    I can only speak for myself, but honor system has always been a disaster for me. If your husband is anything like me, he won't last long on the honor system before cheating. I can go months with a device, even having easy access to the key. But I struggle to go more than a week without a device. My only experience is with my Holy Trainer, but it offers enough of a barrier to self stimulation that I just don't find it worth the effort, or that I simply don't have enough time.

    I once tried the method of trying to slide it up and down on my penis, but while hard it is just too tight and I can't orgasm that way.
     
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  17. PuellaPurpurea
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    @Nicoftime@Nicoftime I've been hearing this theme a lot recently, heh. I realize that a perfect device doesn't exist. All I want is one that fits well enough to withstand a few minutes of idle, debatably innocent jostling. My boy isn't the type to try to cheat a device with focused rubbing or a vibrator.

    @Shepherdsflock@Shepherdsflock Your testimony is interesting to me, because funnily enough, almost the opposite could be said of us. My partner wants to meet my denial goal; he would not intentionally sabotage it. Based on what he's told me about the accident, I suspect that he only jostled the device around because he believed he could do so "safely" (i.e. without orgasm), and that he would have touched himself much less had he been free, since he would have deemed accidental orgasm a much higher risk. Put another way, the device enabled a bit of play in his mind, but because it was loose, the play turned out to be unsafe.

    Perhaps part of what's making things confusing is that the two of us aren't your typical CM couple. We're quite young. We're both horny. Yet he's very committed and has never had a masturbation problem; I know for a fact that he would not orgasm behind my back. That's just who he is. We're doing a denial period because we both want to. It excites me to string him along and drive him crazy, and it excites him to see me take charge.

    I want you both to know that I'm not trying to shut you down or ignore your advice, ha ha. I very much appreciate every word of advice and personal experience you have to share. :)
     
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  18. Catbond
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    Catbond Aka Professor Mittens, aka Fluffy.

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    @PuellaPurpurea@PuellaPurpurea We're a young couple too (i'm 24 she's 22) :p and i use to masturbate everyday until we started this whole chastity experience. Now i'm on the honor system and i haven't had an orgasm for 8 months or so, it really is a matter of will and commitment, not once i thought about cheating but i'll tell you this, i still got pierced and i am looking to get the best device for me because knowing that someone owns the key of your most private part is an indescribable feeling and it just adds a lot of fun in the relationship all around :)
     
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  19. PuellaPurpurea
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    Today is a big day! After going deviceless over the long weekend, we're getting back into the swing of things. I locked him up before bed last night, and today he's wearing it to work. This has been a mental obstacle for us in the past, and I'm proud to say we're finally hurdling it together.

    Good to hear from you! I agree, even if the honor system works, there's a definite satisfaction to having something physically there, especially for me. It would seem I'm fonder of the notion than he is, haha. ;) If this period goes well, I definitely want to pierce him and get something even more secure. I just love the thought of putting a piece of jewelry on him, in a sensitive place, that he can't remove.
     
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  20. PuellaPurpurea
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    Well, I have just had quite a satisfying experience.

    We'll get the sad story out of the way first. A few days ago, we had another accident. After a passionate session, for the latter half of which he was locked up in our old device (Holy Trainer), I went to the bathroom and came back to the distressing news that my boy had achieved a (ruined?) orgasm inside the device again. He reported that he had been scratching an itch, but he stimulated himself enough by accident that the loose device began to ride his pulsing member and finish the job, even though he stopped touching himself quite early. This further confirmed something we already knew: the device was a very poor fit. Deeming the device a liability, we stopped using it and went on the honor system for a few days, but we were bothered by the fact that we had abandoned our training schedule.

    Fortunately, he texted me this afternoon with very exciting news: a package in the mail, sent from Texas. I knew immediately that it was our Mature Metal order. After our evening routine, before bed, we sat down to open it together. The Jailbird took a bit of fiddling to get on (we didn't line up the security screw slots properly the first time, whoops), but we got it on! My boy immediately voiced improved comfort over the previous device. Knowing that he was locked in such an improvement, a sleek custom metal piece, turned me on. I humped him, gropes him, and had him stimulate my breasts while I touched myself to orgasm twice. I felt like I truly owned him again.

    Now that I'm sated, I've left him to sleep in the new device for the night and see how it feels. He has reported that it feels a bit more apt to slip off than the previous one, since it's heavier and we didn't get any security/punishment pins with our order—we used the Guardian with the old device—but if sliding out does prove to be a problem, I'd love to try employing a TetherSpout to padlock him to the end of the cage, or some other similar security measure.

    Anyway, just wanted to share. I'm a very happy camper right now. <3
     
  21. Shepherdsflock
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    Shepherdsflock Well-Known Member

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    Good luck. If he can masturbate that easily in a Holy Trainer, it might be challenging to keep him from doing it in a jailbird. I would advise a very strict and lengthy lockup time to start training him if he is that prone to masturbation even when caged. Nothing less than 90 days, and definitely supervise any releases for cleaning.
     
  22. PouchPantyLover
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    PouchPantyLover Well-Known Member

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    I remember when my jailbird showed up, it was love at first sight. I will share that after wearing it for a bit I had to send it back for adjustments which Mature Metal does for a very reasonable fee. If you're like me and almost everyone else I've read about you probably ordered it too long ;). The other thing that was a big thing for me was the base ring hurt when my balls tried to retract especially during exercise. I ended up making gap and ring bigger. Overtime the weight of the device seems to be stretching me out a bit and I'm thinking of going back to where I was. Good luck, tell him to pay attention to how his body reacts and report any issues to MM, they will help you figure out if anything needs to be adjusted. In regards to the ruined orgasm I don't think it's possible to accidentally itch you way to an orgasm. Sounds like he might be doing a bit more. I've been guilty of that in the past. So far last weeks punishment has been effective in stopping me, I haven't used the magic wand on the cage once since then.
     
  23. PuellaPurpurea
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    Phew, back from another long hiatus. Good to be back in the Mansion!

    After a peak of kinky excitement for my birthday last year, we took a break from chastity. In light of that break, we found ourselves pondering our desires and goals. During our chastity play last year, as well as this past week or so in which we've started picking it back up, a cycle made itself visible: although denying my boy excites me, I often find myself releasing him earlier than I planned as an act of mercy. After these breaks, chastity has a way of slipping my mind, and then, when eventually the topic comes up again, we find ourselves wondering why we stopped.

    We're not sure what we want. I simultaneously want many things. I want to drive him wild by denying him, but I also want to drive him wild by pleasuring and finishing him. I want to see the desperate lust in his eyes when I'm in control, but I also cave easily when he gets aggressive and tries to take the dominant role. And I'm not the only one trying to have my cake and eat it too, as he debates whether he truly wants long term chastity or merely finds the fantasy arousing and would rather stick to a more switch-friendly lifestyle.

    What we do know is that despite the fact that we're both switches, we readily default to me being dominant and him being submissive. This works well with our personal styles. I can get in a dominant mood almost at the drop of a hat and will happily initiate sexual activity, during which I will leisurely play with his body as I see fit and watch him react to being toyed with. Meanwhile, he is typically comfortable allowing himself to be toyed with, and when he eventually gets frustrated enough to rebel against me and be dominant for a day, it is planned, deliberate, and deliciously intense. Almost a little too intense for me to take daily, haha.

    With all of this in mind, what might work best for us as a lifestyle is something like this: we would live an FLR for an extended period, a few weeks at the very least, chastity and all, but periodically we would have a few days in which the tables turn and he takes control. Now, of course, it's up to me to make that schedule happen.

    What does this mean for said schedule? Hopefully more rigor. I want to get to the point where (1) he can take several days at a time and (2) I'm not feeling sorry for him and letting him out in moments of weakness. It'll take some self-training on my part to look past the short-term appeasements and acknowledge my own long-term desires, but I'm looking forward to it. There's a scarier, sexier me in the future, and all I have to do is reach out to her.

    On a different note, I've been loving that Jailbird we got last year. The sadist in me likes tormenting him by arousing him while he's locked up. He doesn't like it, but it's what I want that matters, right? <3
     
  24. Jasmic68
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    Jasmic68 living in interesting times

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    Good to hear from you again, that was a long absence, wasn’t it!?

    I like the fact that you are being honest with how you are trying to work out what it is that you want. It certainly sounds like you are going to have fun working it out.
     
  25. Breathe
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    Breathe Wife, Owner, Dom/me, and KH of _and_smile

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    I knew I was compelled to follow you for good reason. :D

    Funny how so many forms of satisfaction are right in our reach and we don't even realize it. I hope you get a firm grip on her, as well! I feel the same way about Myself... But that side can be a bit slippery when wet, it seems. :rolleyes:

    Looking forward to hearing more about your journey. :)
     
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