A few asked "How do you cope?"

Discussion in 'Journals and blogs' started by Mistress Julie, Nov 17, 2020.

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  1. Mistress Julie
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    Just a thought, While chatting on here about what some people think of our so perfect lifestyle and asking the same question "How do you cope sexually after reducing your sub to what you have?"
    Well in the early days of our chastity journey we did still have the occasional penetrative sex. But over time chastity became more and more appealing to me. Just to deny him gave me a great feeling of power over him. Me...in charge. Not giving in to his manly urges, and what he though was his right, just by being a man..... A man?, don't make me laugh.... He may have been back then, but now...well we all know where he stands.:D:D:D:D:D
    I started by making him kneel at the bottom of my bed and watch me play with my toys. While all the time telling him how much better they were than him.
    I might let him lick me if he was especially good. Or even let him smell me. But never to touch....ever.......
    It was good, but if I am honest I did miss the kisses and cuddles of a loving relationship.
    It was him that brought up the question of me being satisfied. Of course I wasn't, how could I be. But now I had a job to do...like we said.."There would be no going back"
    He asked if I would like a bull? Now my husband is ....was.... the only lover I have ever had. And to be honest I could not ever imagine wanting to go with anyone else. After all I did and still do love him dearly. To the end of the earth and more.
    Nope......never.... Why should I. We have been together now 43 years. At that time the question was asked it was more like 39 years. I would never want to cheat on him, no, not ever.
    We talked.....and talked....and talked even more. He said he fully understood if I wanted to...."I DON'T " I scoweled back at him. Never!!!! How could he think that I would ever go with anyone else.... I felt like he did not even know me, even after all these years........Hell I was mad with him......
    And guess what!!! we sat and chatted even more.
    Just talking about it brought up loads of questions.
    Who would it be?
    Would they be discreet?
    Would they be clean?
    Would they accept no ties or feelings?
    So many things to over come..... Not worth the effort.......forget it..... Alright for some, definitely not for me.

    Never the less the flame had been lit.... got me thinking...... I started teasing him by telling him I had been chatting with a few contenders..... Ooooh his little willy perked up.... he wanted me to. Did he? God I was so confused.
    Why would he want to share his loving wife with another man. Did he not love me? Was I that cheap in his eyes that he would share me?
    I tell you what, it started causing arguments....... Forget it. We would not talk for days..... I hated it. We had never been like this with each other.. But still with what we chatted about started a feeling in me that was running out of control....
    But then he said "How would he be sharing me if he was not getting anything?" Ahhh point taken...lol You only share if your both getting it. He was not.:D:D:D
    :DI actually did start chatting with a guy on Fetlife about it. He came across as a very nice person. I told Weenie. He asked now and then how was it going?
    How was what going? We just chat...thats it.......
    It turned out this guy lived about 25 miles from us...who would have thought that. Mad indeed.
    We chatted for about a year, He knew the situation of our relationship. It was brought up of how I coped. Eventually it got around to him offering to be my bull.
    I politely refused....but it again had me thinking. I mentioned it to Weenie.... and he said "if I wanted to, he would fully understand".
    We both ended up meeting Mark at a small country pub. As it turned out he was as charming as he came across. Quite good looking. He appeared to be clean and smart. Quite a gentleman really.
    We all met a few times more. Eventually the conversation got around to where all this was leading to. We did not know. Would it? did I want to? God all the confused feelings again. :eek::eek::eek::eek:
    One nigh in the pub Mark asked me if I wanted to dance. Well it was only a dance..... was it? What harm could it do.
    I accepted. Weenie watched me get up and take Marks hand as he lead me to the dance area. It was nice. He held me. We danced...he held me a bit more. I pushed against him and could feel he was semi hard... I looked over at Weenie and smiled..... And then turned and looked into Marks eyes....He put his arms around me and as we turned I again looked over at poor Weenie just sat there on his own. Looking really rejected and quite sad. At that moment the feeling of total power just filled every part of me. It might have been the wine. But I was loving it. We walked back to the table and Mark was holding my hand. He pulled out my chair and he held my hand as I sat down. He kissed the back of my hand like a gentleman.... I slid my hand from his, gently scratching his palm with my long nails. He lent over and gave me a peck on my cheek. All right infront of Weenie.
    What a lovely situation. There was I in total control.... Wonderful!!!!
    Well that was just the start. I will post more when the time allows.
    It took a long time. Lots of conflicting feelings... Sometime quite horrible feelings...... But for tonight such a nice feeling. In the taxi on the way home Weenine and me never said a word.... I think he knew........yes he definitely knew.... the line was about to be crossed......:kiss::kiss::kiss:
     
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  2. MissyB
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    Wow, thanks for sharing. I really appreciate both how you interact with your spouse and the excellent example you set for new dommes. I think what stands out immediately is how much you two communicated, verbally and otherwise about your choices. i'm sure he couldn't be happier to see you in this role and it seems to fit you perfectly.
     
  3. Mistress Julie
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    Oh, it came with it's troubles, believe me. I was riggled with guilt for weeks. Even ending up in tears at one time.
    Weenie was wonderful. He consoled me. Hugged me, telling me how mush he loved me and why he understood why I did what I did. Bless him......
    Trust me, it's not an easy road to tread.
    I will be posting more about the journey into the world of the bull and cuckold soon.
     
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  4. AtomicPanda
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    Thank you for sharing. I had only read, That was close, I imagined that your roles were much more firmly set. Now I see that I may have been jumping ahead of the story. :)
     
  5. Mistress Julie
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    I dont think any roles can ever be set in stone sweetheart. And thats one of the reasons Weenie and I talk things through. Im sure it sounds strange, me being dom. But one thing in life I have found, Communication is so important.
    Im cruel to him, but I am not heartless. I love him dearly, and I'm sure he does me. We just lead a different kind of lifestyle.
    During this really crap times for everyone, like most I am board out of my skin. So I thought why not start a blog about the journey we have endured over the years.
    Please let me know if I seem to be hogging the limelight. Thats the last thing I would want to do..With my 3 1/2 inch finger nails it takes me ages to type things. But hey I have nothing else to do.
    And if our journey helps others then for me thats a positive..
    But like I say. if I am on your nerves, then please let me know.
    I will try and do a post tomorrow about Marks first visit, and the results and aftermath of what went on. Also the emotions felt by both Weenie and myself, which to be honest was not too good and not expected by either od us. Even Marks feelings, because he was also concerned.
     
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  6. Wonderwomanssub
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    If you don’t mind me asking, what was it that was holding you back when weenie first brought it up to you? Not that I’m surprised that you felt that way but it seems like women who are introduced to cuckolding either have your reaction (At least initially) or seem to be open to it. My mistress knows that cuckolding is a turn on for me although we’ve never truly discussed it, but her reaction to me was thinking that I would be infuriated at the thought of another man being with her. I think a lot of women feel that way (from random threads I’ve read on the topic here at the mansion) and might actually feel upset that their men don’t have that “I’m gonna kick his ass” mentality.

    When my mistress said “wouldn’t you just want to kick his ass” I didn’t really know how to respond to her because there’s no doubt in my mind that if anyone tried to hurt her or take advantage of her I would pounce on them like a 400lb gorilla. On the other hand how do you explain it’s a turn on at the thought of knowing/seeing her being pleasured by another man of her choosing while we’re married. I don’t know if we’ll ever head down that path or if cuckolding is even something I could handle, however the fact that it has been briefly talked about and she knows it’s a turn on for me has definitely planted some sort of seed.

    We’ve gotten a lot more into strap-on play (me wearing the strap-on) with a few various dildos we’ve acquired. We have a fairly large black dildo that on occasion she has me use on her. What’s interesting is that the last couple of times we’ve used it she talks dirty asking me if I like watching her take BLACK DICK! I love when she asks me that. I start throbbing behind the harness and there’s nothing I can do about it lol!

    Just makes me curious of what the potential future might hold for us. I have no real plans of bringing up cuckolding at least for the foreseeable future but I wonder how the wheels are turning in her head and how she might steer our relationship later down the road as her confidence as my domme grows and grows.
     
  7. LesterBallard
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    seriously thought provoking, thanks
     
  8. Mistress Julie
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    I think what was holding me back is exactly what you quote later on in you post.
    Just the fact it seamed that he would not mind me going with another man. And why should I, I love him. Very much. The last thing I wanted to do was cheat on him.
    This conversation went on for months. I even thought that maybe if I let Weenie out of his cage everything would go back to "Normal" Whatever normal was supposed to be.
    In fact he was let out for 2 weeks. And when he tried it on, I found myself refusing and telling him if he carried on he would go straight back into the metal cage........And that alone gave me a big rush....... Just to think that I could just lock it up again......just like that......and why not........So I did.:D:D:D:D
    I would wear his key on a chain around my neck, in plain sight. Proudly for all to see. He asked if someone asked what was the key for, what would I say. I told him "I wont lie, I would tell them".
    Funny, but no one ever did ask me. So he got away with that one.
    I will admit, I did have a few sleepless nights. Thinking it all over in my head. Wondering what it would be like with Mark. After all I had nothing to compare, I had never been with another man. Had no intentions to..
    If it was going to happen it had to be right, I had to feel right.....for me....my feelings. Damm I was feeling guilty and I had not done anything..
    Just the fact of thinking about it made me feel like I had strayed. done the dirty on my loving husband. How bad was that?
    It was months before we chatted and I finally said "I want to"...Weenies face....It was more shock than anything I think..... Do you he said....."Aghh hell I dont know".....I shouted back at him.. Here we go again I thought. But this time I did feel ok when I said "I want to".....Strange things emotions....
    We sat, looked at each other, no body said anything. The silence was deafening.... I looked at him, "Do you want me to?" I asked..... Not really he replied, but I understand if you want to. Weenie said he wanted to go back to how it was, making love ...properly....
    All of a sudden the dom rush kicked in. "Like thats ever going to happen. I told you when we agreed. Thats was it" There had been a line drawn in the sand and Weenie would never be allowed back across it.
    "NO, I WANT TO....AND I WILL ENJOY IT" Thats it....decision made........Now go away, I have plans to make...
    I laid in bed that night....thinking of the best way..........
    Yes...thats it....I know...I would get mark to tie me.....Yes....Yes....then I would not feel so guilty.....Yes. thats it. I would not willingly be giving myself to another man. He would be taking me. Yes great idea,......is it? "Hell I DON'T KNOW"
    How women can stray from someone the so dearly love is beyond my thought pattern...honestly. I just need more time to get my head around this. the feelings, the planning. Where?.......when?...........
     
  9. Pretty Monnica
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    Pretty Monnica 24/7365 chastized sissy husband in an FLR.

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    Quite an interesting post and thank you for sharing. My Goddess and I have a hard limit no from both ends on cuckoldry, but with that said, I think your post does a good job explaining that even though you are a Domme, a moral conundrum exists between reality and fantasy. In her real life, my Goddess (who isn't interested in joining the site but does read it and monitors my presence here) is a sweet, loving, compassionate, great mom, wonderful daughter, and giving lover and freind. She has done very well at learning about the chastity lifestyle and evolving into her role in our FLR. It came with a lot of discussion, which is very important, as you have demonstrated here.

    What doesn't get brought up by subs in this lifestyle enough is that a Domme has limits to push through as well, and because it is such a cerebral fantasy, of very high intellect. Behind all of it is a loving, caring, faithful, and dedicated lady that needs to be loved and treated special, as a way to cope with liking being a Domme, doing things to her sub that the sub wants, and constantly pushing herself to be more Dominant, creative, and in some cases, not wanting to for her own reasons but wanting to give her partner everything.

    Good luck. Great points made. We are always learning and growing.
     
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  10. MrsBR_Saiph
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    It sounds like this story you tell is hopefully heading towards a happy ending from your perspective.
    I am a woman who engages in cuckolding my husband. If my husband came to me and said I understand if you want to be with another, I don't want you to but I understand if you do, red flags! If I was thinking of my life with my husband and as you stated I was missing the kisses and cuddles of a loving relationship, red flags! I hate to sit in judgement but this is not what I believe is the foundation of a solid cuckolding dynamic. If I was on the dance floor enjoying the touch of another and I look in my husband eyes I want to see joy and desire. You I guess are good with seeing rejection and sadness in the eyes of the man you claim to love. You say you felt powerful in that moment. Let me say it is easy to hurt the ones we love beyond repair. It is truly a powerful woman who can cuckold her husband and have him fueled with lust and desire and more love than he has ever felt, and have him begging for more. A dominant woman cares for the needs of her man above all else. A dominant woman nurtures her man to help him through the struggles he is sure to have. I think it is nice that your little fantasy story have gained you a little favor. I say shame!
     
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  11. Darlydixon
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    Darlydixon I love to be limpy

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    We have talked about it for us and the way my KEYHOLDER/WIFE feels about PIV will keep that out of our life
     
  12. BR_Saiph
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    Everyone's relationship is unique, but for a sub to actually not have a voice is perhaps best left to fantasy particularly when playing with the dynamite of cuckolding.
    One day your cuck may be ok and the next he may want to run from that which he initially thought he might like. The dynamic is constantly shifting, especially in the beginning.
    From your post it sounds as though that despite earlier conversations about being cucked, he had reached a point where he wasn't comfortable proceeding further.
    Hopefully there is more nuances to this story than what you've been able to capture in the sharing of it here.
    Best of luck with this journey with your husband / cuck.
     
  13. Mistress Julie
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    And that is exactly my point. We spend hours talking. Over the many years we have been together I have found it is the only way of truly knowing each others feelings.
    I would never do anything that we both are not ok with, Hence the talking it through.
    As far as I know, and i'm sure Weenie would tell me if he was not happy with our relationship and how it's going. We are both willingly taking the road we are.
     
  14. Mistress Julie
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    And on a final note, regarding this thread.

    There are people out there who will and have pre judged the outcome before hearing the whole journey. I was going to post the next stage where Mark actually came to my house and events happened. And both our feelings on this. I try to give both sides.
    But I cant see any point in doing so now as I (We) have already been pre judged. It looks to me some already know the outcome and we are doomed to fail.
    Well my last word on this is....
    Let me assure you, we have never been happier. I love my husband as much, if not more than the day we married. OK, our lifestyle im sure is not for everyone. It DOES work for us, Both of us!!
    All I wanted to do was shine a little light on how we dealt with what I am sure other loving couples go through.. We opened the door, went through and came out the otherside as happy as the day we went through it.

    Well never mind. I will keep my experiences to myself.:(:(:(
     
  15. Darlydixon
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    Darlydixon I love to be limpy

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    Please don't do that you are to much of a great learning tool of how to do it. Those people that judge are just jealous of what you have.
     
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  16. BR_Saiph
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    Mistress Julie said: ↑ "Do you want me to?" I asked..... Not really he replied, but I understand if you want to. Weenie said he wanted to go back to how it was, making love ...properly.... All of a sudden the dom rush kicked in. "Like thats ever going to happen. I told you when we agreed. Thats was it"
     
  17. PeturKitty 58
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  18. PeturKitty 58
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    You really need to get over yourself. You and your BR are no more of an expert on this topic than anyone else here. Keep your "Red Flags" to your self and we'll all be fine. Mistress Julie I would love to here more of your story. Please continue....
     
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  19. MrsBR_Saiph
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    @Mistress Julie it was not my intention to derail your story. Continue or don't that is your choice. We post on these forums and open ourselves up to others to comment, agree, disagree...... I certainly have had my share of criticism in my time, isn't that right @PeturKitty 58
    Cuckolding is a very personal dynamic and yes I believe we all choose our path. I will however not apologize for feeling that a successful cuckolding dynamic requires both partners to be enjoying and fully engaged. I wish you nothing but the best in your relationship with your husband. Best wishes ❤️
     
  20. BR_Saiph
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    It's a forum for discussing view points dude and I guess this one triggered you. Lol.
     
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  21. Jah Rubbings
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    Jah Rubbings Jah Rubbings

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    As far as I can tell @MrsBR_Saiph spotted a possible conflict or contradiction in @Mistress Julie Sub's mind and brought attention to it. I don't see judgement in the post.

    Your story is very interesting and you should keep going. Not a dynamic that I would want personally, but it is how we differ from others, that is far more interesting than the things we agree about.
     
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  22. Mistress Julie
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    Thank you sweetheart. But unfortunately, my husband has run off with a bimbo with huge tits and is having sex 63 times a day and I have taken to consuming 45 mogadon an hour and drink 6 bottles of Gin a day........

    Well not really, but thats more interesting I suppose.:p:p:p:p:p:p
     
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  23. PeturKitty 58
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    I found your story very interesting, But I understand if you don't feel comfortable sharing here.
     
  24. Chaste J.
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    He wouldn't dare!!!! Neither would he want to! ;)
     
  25. John Morgan
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    #25 John Morgan, Nov 24, 2020 at 10:26 AM
    Last edited: Nov 24, 2020 at 10:34 AM
    Your rights Chast J.
    Why on earth would I want to when I already have the most wonderful Mistress any man could wish for.
    For me Mistress Julie is perfect, Just to serve her is an honor. My only goal in life now is to make her life as perfect as I possibly can.
    And just to confirm from my point of view, (Not that it matters anyway:) And I am ok with that also) I am more than happy the way things are and the way we are progressing in our relationship.
     
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