A comic of mine on FLR

Discussion in 'Member fiction' started by ldg69, Jul 14, 2022.

  1. ldg69
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    As some may remember, I signed up here to find out more about FLR. In fact, I intend to build a comic story on the subject. It will take a long time, but I started writing the script. I would like to publish it, gradually, in this post, if you dear friends, would like to read it (otherwise it would be useless. I would like to know your opinion, and especially if the story appears realistic. I am open to suggestions and changes of course. If suggestions arrive, however , you'll have to allow me to select the ones that fit a comic story.

    Panel 1
    Table 1
    The alarm rings, it's 6 in the morning. A woman gets up, yawns and walks sleepily to the bathroom. The woman is wearing elegant and sexy pajamas, she has a shapely body with firm breasts and buttocks. She pulls down her panties and sits on the toilet without paying much attention, widens her eyes and immediately stands up, screaming.

    Emma: Fuck! Jim! Fuck!

    The man in bed wakes up groggy.

    Jim: What is it? You can never sleep in peace in this house ...

    Table 2

    He gets up sleepy. His hair is tousled, rather scruffy, he shows a little belly, the hair on his chest comes out from the neckline of the shirt.

    He approaches the half-open bathroom, peeks inside, with a disinterested air.

    Jim: What's going on?

    Emma: Fuck, Jim! How many times have I told you to get this damn toilet seat up before you piss? It's all wet and now your piss is on my thighs!

    Jim: And you make a lot of noise about it? now you get in the shower, right?

    Emma: Fuck you, Jim!

    Jim: OK, I'm going back to bed ...

    Emma: And at work? Don't you go there?

    Jim: Ah, right ... I forgot to tell you I quit ...

    Emma (looking out the door to the bed): What?

    Jim: I told you that was a whore, right? Well yesterday I couldn't take it anymore and I left!

    Emma: It's not her who's a whore, it's you who's an asshole!

    Table 3
    Emma takes a shower, then with her bathrobe still on, goes down to the ground floor and goes to the kitchen to have breakfast, on the table there are still the remains of the dinner.

    Emma: Fuck! I asked you to clean up last night… I was so tired! For once I ask you to clear the table, you don't!

    Jim (approaches with a smirk): Sorry dear, sorry ... but I knew I didn't have to go to work today, now I'll put everything in order ... I promise.

    He tries to kiss her on her lips, she pulls away.

    Emma: Fuck you! Do you think you pass me with a kiss?
     
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  2. ldg69
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    Panel 2

    Emma is in her car

    Emma (thinks): We've only been married for three years and it feels like a century! I criticized my dad when I was living with my parents because he seemed so distracted towards mom! But at least they had been together for 18 years at the time! In 15 years Jim is sure to be much worse! Ah, but he likes sex, he always wants me sexy! And he's so perky when it comes to that!

    Emma arrives at work. She works in a bank. She enters the office a little annoyed and greets a colleague.

    George: Hi Emma, a little while ago the manager asked about you ... he is waiting for you in her office ...

    Emma knocks on the manager's door.

    Emma: Permission?

    Director: Oh, Emma! please walk in, I have great news for you!

    Emma:?

    Director: I reported you to the General Management so that you were promoted to head of a branch ... Well, they have decided that you will take my place, since I will be retired in a month!

    Emma: Really?

    Director: Yeah! In my opinion you could have aspired to more important branches… but I'm sure you will make your way… you are still so young! Well I'll organize a farewell party, and on that occasion I'd like to give everyone the news, if that's okay with you ...

    Emma: Sure! Oh, I'm so grateful ... we will regret your absence ...

    Director: You deserve it ... and you'll be a better manager than me!

    Panel 3

    Lunch break. Emma is sitting with a black friend.

    Emma: Do you understand? He pisses me off at his behavior! I feel like I'm a servant, not a wife to love! And now I also have to finance him, since he resigned!

    Anna: I'm sorry it makes you feel that way, but, as you know, I never believed Jim was the right man for you!

    Emma: I wish he were like your husband! He is so loving to you!

    Anna: It's not all him.

    Emma: What do you mean?

    Anna: I'll explain… but first, please tell me that you haven't made any changes to the prenuptial contract that, with so much effort, I convinced you to enter into with Jim!

    Emma: That? Oh no! I didn't even remember his existence… and I don't think Jim remembers it anymore either.

    Anna: I wouldn't be so convinced ... men like Jim ...

    Emma: Please, he's still my husband!

    Anna: Yeah, a husband who doesn't respect you! You see? You are too compliant with him ... too enslaved! You have to be assertive instead! it's late! I have to go back to the studio, I have an appointment with a client ... Can you come to my house after work?

    Emma: Y-yes, I think so.

    Anna: See you tonight, then!
     
  3. ldg69
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    ldg69 Active member

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    I started drawing my FLR comic. If you have read the first pages of the script, I hope you will enjoy seeing the first two ink tables .. flr01_01_pic.jpg flr01_02_pic.jpg
     
  4. Apfel
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    Apfel Active member

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  5. ldg69
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    ldg69 Active member

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    flr01_03_pic.jpg flr01_04_pic.jpg
    Two more pages inked. I hope you like them.
     
  6. SubDee
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    SubDee Long term member

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    Love it! Looking forward to more!
     
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  7. ldg69
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    It is my intention to draw detailed pages, and to do this I need time. It is also not the only work in progress. But with patience you will see the story evolve. Unlike my other comics it will be less pornographic, but much more realistic.
     
  8. Deleted member 97060
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    Very interesting read
     
  9. ldg69
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    Another page flr01_05_pic.jpg
     
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  10. Gumballz
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    You have a great talent. Patiently awaiting the next panels.
     
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  11. Isopropylforyou
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    Isopropylforyou Long term member

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  12. ldg69
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  14. jemima
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    jemima maid for my Mistress

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  15. ldg69
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    The images that I post are in low resolution, but in the mobile phone they can be easily enlarged and they are legible. I hope you are enjoying yourself. The comics, in its full color, high-resolution version, will be available on gumroad when complete. But here I decided to let you read the story a large part of it, albeit in b / w format. flr01_08_pic.jpg flr01_09_pic.jpg flr01_10_pic.jpg
    English may not be perfect in the current version. When I complete the story the English will be revised. If there are any incomprehensible phrases, I apologize, and you can report them to me if you want.
     
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  16. true42
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    true42 Owned member

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    It's coming along quite nicely ...
     
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  17. ldg69
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    ldg69 Active member

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    Sorry for the inaction. I have drawn about ten pages in the meantime, but I have to translate the text, which is not easy for me. So a little patience. In the meantime I have thought of a title:
    Chaste Mariage. A journey into woman-led relationships

    I want to know what you think..
     
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  18. true42
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    Chaste Marriage (two r's in marriage)

    "A journey, led by a woman"

    Or "A journey of a Female Led Relationship"
     
  19. ldg69
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    ldg69 Active member

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    My English is a bit rough, and I don't understand the meaning of "two r's in marriage"
    For the rest, I believe I will accept the suggestion of this title:
    Chaste Marriage (two r's in marriage)
    "A journey, led by a woman"
    but only if I understand what "two r's in marriage" means
     
  20. ldg69
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    Second part, Crisis
     

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  21. ldg69
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    ldg69 Active member

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    A hot page
     

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  22. true42
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    true42 Owned member

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    Your English is very good. The "two r's in marriage" means that I was explaining that you made a spelling error, because you spelled "mariage" instead of "marriage" (you put in one "r" instead of two "r"s)
     
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  23. ldg69
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    ldg69 Active member

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    Ah, ah, ah. it's true, I wrote it in French.
     
  24. ldg69
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    ldg69 Active member

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    Two more pages inked.
     

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  25. IB-Chaste
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    IB-Chaste Chastity Superman.

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    This had me way more excited than a comic ever should! Great work!
     
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