A bargain at any price

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by Mistress Davenport, Jun 28, 2020 at 1:44 AM.

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  1. Mistress Davenport
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    Even in the world of DOMME and sub there is a pesky thing called compromise. It simply has to exist for both people to feel happy and fulfilled. And I since their is an overwhelming amount of "male perspective" on these forums I thought I'd describe what it happening in my household RIGHT NOW. (Because I know I'm not the only woman who got on this website to see what other women in my same/similar situation handle things.) ***that situation being married to your sub

    My sub knows I am not an "internet person". (In fact, I spend most of my time outdoors) so we struck a bargain that while he spends an hour sweeping the floors and vacuuming the rugs in our home I will spend the hour on here reading/chatting/conversing. This is a standard thing around our house. Tit for tat. I do something I don't :::love::: and he does something he doesn't :::love::: and we both get what we want in the end.

    I consider it a bargain that I don't have to mop the floors in our home anymore and instead have to spend a bit on time staring at a computer screen.

    Come on ladies, what kinds of things do you have arrangements with your sub on? What do you have to "give" to "get" ???

    -M.D.
     
  2. sissydavenport
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    sissydavenport Locked sissy sub / spouse of Mistress Davenport

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    As always, You are correct. An absolute bargain to be able to have You on this site with me! The barter chore list will just expand from here :)

    -nancy
     
  3. BKwife
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    BKwife Key holder of Gigaman
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    Ok here goes. My sub does the things i don’t love to do too. Ok guys don’t hate me if you get new chores after your KH reads this post! My sub: cleans the bathrooms (2), changes kitty litter, does laundry and of course the yard work. All those pesky jobs that aren’t so fun! And i engage him in this lifestyle that he so desires and in turn i have grown to love as well❤️
     
  4. Xileh
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    Damned. I do all of the other things that you listed. Now, she will go get a cat too.
     
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  5. anasyrma
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    anasyrma Active member

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    I vacuum, mow the grass, do all the laundry and she wants to get a dog - no doubt I will be walking it...
     
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  6. BKwife
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    BKwife Key holder of Gigaman
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    YOUR WELCOME! Too funny
     
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  7. asastype
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    asastype Service sub to Mistress AMA

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    You hit on a key element in a successful FLR, @Mistress Davenport. The Domme and the sub need to work together to meet each other's needs and create a sustainable dynamic.

    It's a give-and-take that is similar to what happens in a vanilla relationship, but with sexy differences. Like many subs, i have a long list of cleaning and household tasks that allow my Keyholder Wife to have more free time to pursue Her other interests. I wash clothes, open doors, manage our finances, deliver Her drinks on a tray, etc... while She reads, gardens, crochets and takes walks.

    But She is certainly giving, too. She gives Her time in playing with my bits ("Her toys"). She gives Her effort in growing past any sense of guilt in climaxing at will while i am denied. And She gives in extending Herself to share bits of our dynamic with some of Her Friends, among many other ways.

    Each couple draws that line differently, but there's no doubt that compromise is needed on both sides.

    asa
     
  8. Xileh
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    We don't currently have a "give to get" arrangement. Initially, I took over many tasks. Now, we seem to be in a period of working out the things that I do because she'd rather not, and reserving those things that she likes to do for her. For example, she is an accomplished cook and she enjoys cooking. I do leftovers, some meals, and all cleanup. Some things that I was doing, she is taking back. At some point I am sure we will find a new equilibrium.

    I would not say it is off the table though. Good question.
     
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  9. Disciplined Boyfriend
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    Compromise is the word for most relationships. A lot of the horrible chores around the house we both do, the domme bit is where I get told to leave that computer alone. Some tasks she will do by herself because she is happy doing to them whilst I do the ones she doesn't like.

    Doesn't sound too Femdom, but the arrangement is that she's more of the chargehand/foreman and I'm the grafter.
     
  10. MrsBR_Saiph
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    MrsBR_Saiph Hotwife & Keyholder
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    I thought a lot about this and when it comes to household chores we have no give to get dynamic. My BR works long hours to give our family a very comfortable life. I certainly do my share but we approach home life with a team effort. We certainly have chores we both prefer and we gravitate towards those and therefore have achieved a happy balance.
    It's the other things he does that are special to me, the foot rubs, massaging my neck, having my tea ready as I come in the door.
    I would however say we have recently developed a give to get dynamic as it pertains to our cuckholding. Cuckholding is something BR introduced however I now very much enjoy. As much as he too enjoys he suffers considerable angst and a range of offen irrational emotions. if I engage in a little maintance spanking, a little humiliation or other activities so as to reinforce his submission I get to better enjoy time with a Bull. This conditioning is where I give to get.....
     
  11. BR_Saiph
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    BR_Saiph Self-published author

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    'Give' you do my dear, my arse still has the marks from Sunday:love:
     
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  12. Disciplined Boyfriend
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    I know that feeling :mad:
     
  13. MRS.Lilith
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    Any relationship requires effort from both parties, even a dom/sub relationship. You're totally right about that. We compromise on things a lot, when it's outside of our kink dynamic. Like what activties we do etc.

    Because I have physical disabilities, my husband does the heavy chores around the house. He vacuums, does the kitty litter, empties the trash, cleans the toilets, does the laundry.
    I cook, do light cleaning like wiping counters, I sort the laundry , I order the groceries and I do our finances plus things like planning doctors appointments.

    When it comes to sexual things however, there's no 'tit for tat' . My husband is denied long periods of time, and I can have him please me whenever I want. The only thing he gets in return is the assurance of the dynamic he wants to have and the knowledge that I will edge him at least once a day every day. But that's all there is to it, I am not required to do anything at all.
     
  14. Jinkyu
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    Jinkyu Active member

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    She gets full body massages, then she gives instructions on which nipple clamps and any other bitch-attire I wear during the massage giving :D
     
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  15. sissydavenport
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    sissydavenport Locked sissy sub / spouse of Mistress Davenport

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    For persuasion, the carrot or the stick are the available tools. Obviously most of the time, Mistress uses the stick, which just means simple commands, which I do, because She is Mistress. However, some of the time She uses a carrot, meaning that a reward in exchange for an activity can happen as She cares for me and wants to reinforce good behavior. After a while, doing things "just because you should" takes its toll. Think about eating healthy. Yes, you should, but it feels better when you get a stylish piece of clothing to reinforce that action. Carrots can be fun :)
     
  16. billzboats
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    billzboats New member

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    I have not even considered the kitty litter. Thanks for the tip.
     
  17. MRS.Lilith
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    Hmm, this gives me ideas :D
     
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  18. Ron33
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    Wife says she feels a little guilty, but I tell her not too, just enjoy it. I do the things she dislikes, I clean bathrooms, sweep, vacuum and dust the house, all while locked. I do about 1/2 the laundry. i do nearly all dishes and keep the kitchen clean. I do all outside things like mowing. If there is something she really dislikes, i'll do it for her.

    I am not locked full time, but i do these things whether I am locked or not. Occasionally, I do a 10 day to 2 week lockup to "remind" me of how it is to be locked. During that time, there is usually no sex and no masturbating. I never masturbate without her permission and knowledge first. I think if more wives wouldn't see male chastity as being cruel, but how it can make their husband more loving toward them, they would try it.
     
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  19. BKwife
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    BKwife Key holder of Gigaman
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    I agree totally about if women knew the benefits of chastity they would be on board. It’s a really good thing for both parties!!
     
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