Tomorrow is March 8, the day in which we celebrate women. Reflecting on the holiday, I had a thought: male chastity, after all, can be outlined as the imposition of a purely male fantasy to his spouse? I explain myself better. 1) asking a woman to be your Kh (except in cases where she is already dominant and therefore has a personal predisposition) means assigning her a new task, sometimes heavy, which adds to the already many daily commitments: family, work, home, etc.. I think this is a very bad premise for those who think of women/partners as a priority subject 2) the condition of subservience that causes abstinence is experienced very much by the man, but much less by the woman. she is not the one who constantly feels the urge and has her thoughts always turned there. on the contrary, we are asking her to manage a person whose hormonal charge is misaligned with her own. thus creating a challenging situation for the female half of the couple. 3) a lot of posts praise abstinent males for doing household chores. sometimes (often) as an activity with a slight demeaning or loss-of-role connotation. in reality, helping around the house is simply a duty and a desire for adults to work together for the common benefit (managing children, living in a healthy and pleasant environment, having the refrigerator full, etc.). 4) the benefits enumerated in many posts (listening to your partner, dedication to her pleasure before your own) should be daily elements in couples. here instead they are described as a result of chastity, therefore the result of an exchange (you keep the key, I devote myself to your pleasure) also in this case i see a very strong male imposition compared to the desire to put his woman at the center. what do you think?
Interesting post and one that echos a lot of my own thoughts over the years. I think what you have described can neatly be summarised as topping-from-the-bottom. And while I am sure can happily meet the needs of many couples (deliberately gender non-specific) does not really described a true domme/sub relationship. However what is entirely right and proper is that couples in a true loving relationship should be free and confident enough to share their own sexual fantasies with their partners: and here I definitely do mean both women and men. If you really love your partner then surely should be willing to give it a go: you can give pleasure to your partner by taking from them and you can get pleasure by giving (or even witholding !) it from them. If a women wants to explore an FLR then her partner should be willing to give it a try and if a man wants to try chastity then perhaps his partner should give it a try. Finally I definitely agree that household chores should be shared as a matter of course. But if HE is willing to do them all (even under threat of 'punishment') which means SHE doesn't have to isn't that win-win ?
Good statement. First, March 8, a Happy Women's Day for all. Of course, all things and situations have their sides, and I would emphasize above all the equality of all relationships and respect for the other person. Any lifestyle or hobby may get out of hand. Similarly, these can be accompanied by insurmountable expectations that can put unnecessary pressure on both sides of the relationship and, consequently, fear of failure. In a Dom - Sub relationship, situations can easily arise in which you find yourself in an uncertain situation, which at worst can lead to the relationship breaking up. In a KH relationship, the roles should be clear, and these should start at the suggestion of the key holder. A person can grow into a new position only out of his or her own desire and interest - forcing, subjugating, or otherwise introducing does not lead to a happy outcome. For me, in the role of chastity, various cleaning or caring activities are not a punishment or an incentive - because we in Finland have given up these types of male and female roles long time ago. My wife, KH, has wanted to show her attachment and strong ownership role to me by locking me in the cage. The role of Dom of her has developed slowly and raises Her head only occasionally. Even though I am locked 24/7/365, our relationship is otherwise quite normal, mutually respectful and enjoys everyday little things.
Yes, what you're suggesting is that all the things we identify as benefits of chastity are actions we could and should be making anyway. Quite true. The reality is, though, a lot of men need some extra stimulation to make them do that.
Bingo. And nothing wrong with that. I'm slowly becoming the husband that I should have been all along. I'm sorry that it's taken so long to get here, but I am glad to be finally getting here.