Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by Fit To Be Tied, Oct 14, 2021.
For Locktober: An interesting discussion of the dynamics of Chastity in a FLR:
This was a really good video, should be required viewing for both partners. I like the way she realistically speaks about male chastity. Going to share it with my wife soon! Thanks for posting.
Sarah joined her on Patreon. They have a Discord, but as far as I have heard, Ms.Elle is kind of against chastity because a lot of the times it puts full focus on the penis and not on the Dominant. I can totally see how someone could feel that way. She has a ton of great content though for sure!
Ms. Elle is a treasure. And this particular video brings up some valid points, IMHO. Chastity is fun and all, don't get me wrong ;P lol, but the levels of wank-fodder can get ridiculous.
I am grateful for whenever Madame J has be locked up, but it's basically a privilege she allows me to enjoy.
She can (and has before, at times) stop/withhold the activity whenever she's feeling like the effects of device-enforced chastity in our dynamic needs some adjusting. I've had to learn to tone it down at times. As her slave, my service and devotion is supposed to focused on her. Full stop.
I think most of chastity ideas are instigated by men themselves for their own gratification.
If more women instigated male chastity in the first place from the beginning they would create their own rules, lots of men top from the bottom because most women dont know about male chastity and its benefits for them.
Women should take the initiative, find out the benefits for themselves then they would be able to lock up their other halves and reap all the benefits.
Clean, safe resource to share with a vanilla partner that is put off to anything extreme.
Mrs. Elle is a very thoughtful and cerebral domme. For me it boils down to one thing, as a sub I don't get to choose what kinks I like or fetishes I enjoy, although my Wife entertains them for me occasionally. Submission is all about what SHE wants not what I want. The second I learned that and accepted I grew exponentially in value to my Mistress and our relationship went to new heights. It's easy to say, but harder to embrace.
If your Wife walks in one day and wraps a belt around your ankles, and another belt around your thighs, gags you, ties you to the bed, and whips the crap out of you.... Do you complain, do you squirm, do you hold a grudge, or do you SUBMIT and learn your lesson?
A very well made and informative clip. Thanks for sharing.
I am not always happy, but I never complain, and the grudges tend to take care of themselves after a few days.
And I'm always willing to learn new lessons.
Good insights. She's way hot, too!
A follow-up to 6 Male Chastity Secrets -
9 Male Chastity Play Ideas:
In my opinion the whole idea of "the benefits of chastity" are also a male fantasy. In the end it is a kink and things like "oohh, he'll be more attentive when he's caged" is a kind of rationalization that doesn't really apply to the real world. Yes there are certainly benefits to the keyholder but if it didn't turn one you on then you simply wouldn't be doing it.
No one's gonna say "I don't really get what's so hot about chastity but it's really practical".
This also means that if you're the one with the kink, you have to be topping from the bottom to a certain degree and that is a good thing. When you tell your partner what you like and what you want them to do to you, that's not topping from the bottom, that's just good communication.
It's absolutely a kink, and addictive as fuck.
But there are definitely great benefits from my chastity for my Goddess.
Those two things are not mutually exclusive!
There is a very fine line between encouraging one's partner to explore her opportunities for dominance, and "topping from the bottom". I can't speak for anyone else, but for me the difference is discernible, because I know when I'm acting out of real respect for her, vs. when I'm suggesting something for my own selfish ends.
That doesn't make it any less a kink, but I have no guilt for trying specifically to find ways to make her life better.
From your male point of view maybe.
Many female keyholders do this because there are positive benefits, for them as well as for him. Just because you haven't experienced the "benefits", doesn't mean that other people haven't, or that they don't exist.
I personally think the primary “benefits” usually described are both real and bullshit at the same time.
Am I a better partner, more attentive, more eager to please, more willing to put her needs above my own, and remain present and engaged when I am super horny? Yes to all the above. Should I be able, willing, and expected to do all those things without being horny all the time? Yes as well. Does it happen? No it does not.
When people ask for advice on how to ask their partner, I usually steer clear of the whole “benefits” angle. Their first reaction might be “how come you need that cage on to treat me well?” They of course are right, and don’t comprehend the huge motivation sexual need is to a guy. The hormones flooding our brain makes every decision about whether it gets us closer to our need. They don’t recognize it because they are not built the same way. It must seem just sad and selfish, and maybe it is, that we need a chemically induced euphoria to act like we should. So I tell people not to even mention it. Women are pretty smart on picking up on mood and behavior, I think if it really does benefit them in such a way, they will notice all on their own and decide if chastity is working for them.
Amazing that clips like that exist without it being behind a paywall. must be ad revenue.