Experience Question for those who have been at this awhile

My wife has become more demanding when it comes to me doing household chores and being her maid/servant. Liquid courage as you put it has moved things along for us as I tend to blurt out fantasies in the throws of passion in this "altered" state. Often she'll ask me me about them for later use in T&D to keep me horny and frustrated. She even asks me what I dream about because she hears me talking in my sleep, which I do on rare occasions.

 

The best thing you can do is let her grow into the domme she wants to be. Like you, my relationship with my wife had been enhanced greatly with chastity. Seemed like anytime I ever tried to push her in a certain direction she always pushed back not wanting to try things I wanted to because it was my idea. I would feel irritated at this because as far as I knew she wasn't really doing any research into chastity. Once I kept my mouth shut, I could drop subtle hints here and there to see if she'd be interested in certain things. Sometimes she'd take the hint and other times she'd ignore them. Totally her perogative though. Depending on your relationship your KH might be more receptive to suggestions than mine but the best advice anyone has ever given me on this forum is "be patient and be loving and then be patient again"

 

@Lockedwithlove be patient and be loving and then be patient again"

I totally agree. By all means talk about it, but only when you have permission. Communication is key, but only when she allows.

Otherwise, sit back (figuratively speaking), and enjoy the journey.

Sonic chaste

 

My wife is a natural born submissive who gets pleasure from pleasing others. She does not like to hurt me, be mean to me, boss me around or as she calls it, being a cock tease. It took 3 years for her to stop feeling guilty about denying me an orgasm. She used to call sex without an orgasm for me, fake sex. I am the dominant one in our marriage and my wife likes it like that. I get all the stress and take care of problems while she is free to enjoy going out with her friends or watching TV during the day. My only task around the house is taking out the trash and helping with cleaning the dishes after dinner. Even then, if she sees that I had a lot of work to do for my job or am stressed out about business matters, she will take the garbage out herself and tell me that she will take care of cleaning up after dinner.

She refuses to give me any orders and is uncomfortable telling me to do anything. The only area of our marriage where she has absolute control is our sex life. She will occasionally paddle or cane my butt for bugging her for an orgasm or talking too much about chastity. Starting our 5th year of chastity play my wife will occasionally tell me to do something but I can see the fear in her eyes when she does not. Her dad was an abusive alcoholic who when not pleased would hurt his kids and wife. back in the olden days, the police did not interfere in domestic violence unless someone wanted to press charges.

I have seen my wife getting a little more assertive since we started chastity but in very small ways. Chastity is different from any other fetish we played at because they all ended at the bedroom door. Chastity stays with me all the time and after 4 years my wife has finally embraced teasing and orgasm denial and know the power she can have over me but is not really comfortable using it. Once in a great while she will tell me to do something if I ever want an orgasms again but those times are not very often. We will never have a D/s relationship. I am best able to run our marriage and have successfully done so over the last 44 years. My wife was given the power several times but did not want it. In fact she broke down crying in fear when she thought she had to lead the marriage. So I do not mention that anymore.

However she has become a little more assertive over the last few years and will actually paddle or cane my butt full force without being horrified when she sees the welts or bruises. See my pic gallery. So it has effected her but what is a big change for her would be at tiny change to others. So there is an effect on your KH the longer you go. How much of a change depends on your KH.