I haven’t been doing this long but I have a question for those more experienced members. The first couple of weeks of chastity I locked myself up and gave the key to my wife. She played along but wasn’t really interested. Wearing the cage put me into overdrive. I was cooking, cleaning, whispering sweet nothings to my lovey wife, lots of other stuff I thought she would like, but she didn’t acknowledge any of my efforts. Needless to say, I got discouraged. At this point, I was ready to give up. I felt like it wasn’t going anywhere, she was not into it and I should just give up. I had a open discussion about whether or not she was into it. She said she was if I was. I told her I didn’t want her to do this if she wasn’t enjoying it or wasn’t seeing any benefits. She acknowledged that I was better with helping around the house and she like my attitude. So, I asked her to, how do I put this, acknowledge my efforts and work with simple rewards. For example, I could give her a foot massage if I cook dinner that night. My question is, is it okay to request a “reward” from my KH if I do certain things? I don’t want her to feel obligated or bound to do anything she doesn’t want to do.
It will likely be difficult for you to explore your kinks with your wife without telling her what you want. You are doing the right thing to try and minimize you role in charting a course and letting her decide how things should go. This is a difficult balance and I am sure I am not the only person on this site who has pushed things too far. Once she does start setting direction or making decisions you need to accept it no matter what it is so that she can build her confidence to go further. Especially at the beginning there will be times when you feel like you aren't getting what you want and it will be frustrating. But it is in these circumstances when you should ask yourself if she is getting what she wants, because that is the real goal and a very genuine act of submission.
Thanks for the advice. I understand your point. Seems like I wasn’t out of line in my request. Since my suggestion she has actually rewarded me for good behavior and it felt great. I hope it continues.